I saw the following sign at the local nursery. It’s true as far as it goes. I, however, would add tacos and pets.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I slept even worse than usual. I drove to doctor’s appointment. There was a hospital emergency, so I had to wait quite a bit. It wasn’t the worst of news, but it could have been better. I drove to another crafts place. There seems to be about four different latch-hooks patterns in the whole county. So I purchased one that’s okay. I drove and made Tacos Adobada for the natives.
Monday, I think, Number Two Son and I will drive to his new job in Chicago.
I was tired that I accidently ordered an invasion, but I was so exhausted that I never started the darn thing.
Take care. You’re important to me.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
First, I did finances. This activity keeps me off the street where I would only foment revolution. And we don’t want that, do we? No, we do not.
I hope I spelled it correctly. It would be so much easier if we could only agree to call it “Tacos Yabba Dabbo Do.”
So, I tried to make a pizza. For some reason the bread maker produced not dough, but little pellets. Ah well, some good did come out of it. I learned how to keep yeast longer.
Exclesior. I made a good pizza crust. Toppings were: pasta sauce and a cheese blend of asiago, Parmesan, and mozzarella. I made pork sausage meatballs with Italian seasoning. They went on the pizza as well along with red bell-pepper strips. The natives loved the pizza. This made me happy.
My wife got a little gizmo that translates foreign languages. She wants to use it to translate Tagalog. She had some problems, so she had me speak French into it.
Me: Tu es ma petite choux. (I know, I know, I should have said , “Tu es ma petite choux choux.” Which means, “You are my little cabbage.” Where “little cabbage is slang for dear, sweetheart, or something life that.
Translator try #1: You are a little thing.
Translator try #2: You are little garbage.
There are a few bug left in the system.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I don my metaphorical armor as last year could have been a lot better; I’m looking a you, The Summer That Sucked where I was sick the whole. I’m also aprehensive about nation’s future.
But this is a time to wish great things to your loved ones, your friends, and all the other good people of the world. Evil sorts, such as the one who gave me Covid, can just suck eggs for the next twelve months.
For all good people, I wish you a year of the following good things:
1) health
2) tacos
3) tasty, yet healthy, doughnuts
4) Full employment or full retirement, your choice
5) Self-cleaning dishes
6) finding salt pork at the first supermarket you visit
7) true love and true friendshio
8) Not being a victim of crime
9) fun and safe drivng
10) sales on tortillas
11) cheap eggs
12) reuniting with loved ones and lost friends
13) steaks cooked exactly to your liking
14) peace in your neighborhood and in the world
15) success in at least one endeavour, no matter how small as long as it makes your proud of yourself
16) finding a new and comfy pair of shoes on the first try
17) perfectly home cooked meals everytime.
18) Many great parties if you’re an extrovert and many non-mandatory parties if you’re an introvert
19) Waking up refreshed everytime.
20) the ability to fold fitted sheets
21) All sorts of good tv shows and movies to watch
22) writing a best seller
23) consistent Capitalization
24) a wonderful vacation
25) friendship with cats and dogs
26) healthy air-fried Twinkies
27) an uplifting conversation with a guy named Ralph
28) No paper cuts except for your enemies
29) you master the health-care system
30) catching almost no red lights
31) picking the right line when waiting for something
32) your fitted sheet never comes off a mattress corner while you try to get to sleep
33) ability in directing your spam mail to your worst enemy
34) cheese
35) your typos magically disappear as soon as you type them
36) and all sorts of other good things
37) finding your car keys right away, even when you’re pressed for time
Happy New Year
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Plato had rock-star status as a philosopher. People listened to him. He You too should listen to him
Plato #1
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Award-winning author Carl La Fong dazzles us again with his latest self-help book, Serenity Through Tacos and Meditation. After all who doesn’t love tacos? Nobody. And meditation is so easy. You don’t even need glasses.
Learn serenity through his ten easy lessons.
Soon you’ll be chanting:
“I am the taco.
“I am meditation.
“I am the Serenity Emperor.
“Ohm.”
And who doesn’t want to be the Serenity Emperor? Buy Mr. La Fong’s book and become his Most Serene Highness. You’ll be glad you did.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Sure, lots of things can be good for you, when you do them. Vaucuuming and kale crunching come to mind. They’re might be some nutritional benefits to eating them but can you eat them. And don’t forget vacuuming kale is the only way vacuum will always fill your world with true serenity.
We can, with some effort, think of benefits accruing from cleaning house and eating healthy.
“Just don’t overdo things by actually doing them.”
– Carl La Fong, life coach
LIST OF THINGS TO THINK ABOUT , BUT NOT DO.
3) Cleaning House – Conventional wisdom holds that an ordered house indicates an ordered mind. Which, of course, makes you happy. But is this really true?
Sure cleaning your house provides us with a marginal, if at all perceptible, boost to our sense of well being. But if something horrible happens or we fall prey to a fit of depression by eating a seemingly endless bowl of naked romaine lettuce, what can we do to feel better, to restore our joie de vivre? Sure cleaning restores order and meaning to our universe. But we can’t clean an already immaculate home. With no activity at hand to rejeuventate our spirits we plunge into the depths of everlasting despair. We might even find ourselves reading War and Peace in the original Russian.
Can such cleaning make us healthier in the long run? Sure. But in the short run we become exhausted and feel sad about our weak body. We head home, flop face down onto our bed, and spiral ever downward into a bottomless well of depression.
4) Healthy Eating – Doctors and dieticians everywhere will tell you that you will live longer, ceteris paribus, everything else remaining equal. But not everything is equal, is it? Is a man drinking a kale smoothie likely to be happy? No, his will to live will slowly, but surely, ebb away until he quivers continually in a dark closet. His physical health faces existential deterioration. If you could look at his cell phone, you’ll find that he has the suicide hotline on speed dial.
And what of Farine du Blé gazing forlornly at her rabbit-food salad? What happens when she looks at the happy, laughing couple eating filet mignon and bacon-wrapped shrimp? Her heart will shrink to the size of a mustard seed. She will hate the mignon-munching couple. She’ll despise you. Her eyes will shoot daggers at me. She’ll loath every last one of us. Farine will retire to her shuttered, drape-closed home and never come out again. It won’t matter, if rabbit-food salads lenghter her life span or not, every day forcing down salady things will transform her pitiful existence into soul-squashing gloom.
Better yet, eat something you love, something you crave. Like cheeseburgers, tacos, and strawberry milkshakes. Sure, these foods aren’t technically good for you. But look at the unparalleled joy you’ll reap getting them into your tummy. You’ll gain the courage of a lion, the motivation of a hummingbird, and the happiness of a woman winning the lottery.
Oh, and if you do hanker for something healthy such as spinach be sure to dine on Chicken Florentine. Sure, it features spinach, but it also comes with chicken breasts and creamy sauces. You won’t feel as if you’re munching on heatlhy food. Indeed, with any luck at all, the unhealthy ingredients will overpower the spinach to the extendt that your outlook on life will explode with happiness. You’ll want to live. And you will. What more can you want?
“Remember, it’s healthier to think than to do.”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
A group of crows is a murder, but what about gangs of other things, what are they called?
I’m glad you asked.
A group of . . …………. is a
An overripening of avocados
advertisements……….snack break
apples…………………….browning
astronomers……………Pluto hater
avocados…………………overripening
bacon……………………..heaven
live bands………………..hearing loss
bank robberies…………getaway
banks………………………fee
burgers……………………handful
clouds……………………..imagination
court cases……………….delay
customer service………hold
dishes……………………..mountain
DMV lines……………….horizon
doughnuts……………….fattening
gin………………………….tipsy
kittens…………………….squee
lutefisk……………………stench
mistakes………………….inevitability
mosquitoes………………bite
potatoes…………………..Idaho
puppies……………………squee
printers……………………Devil
road repairs……………..eternity
shrimp…………………….cocktail
spam……………………….annoyance
storm clouds…………….gray
stoves………………………heat
tacos……………………….bliss or Tuesday
taranatulas………………scare
tax documents…………felled forest
Now you know.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
People often ask how they should honor and have fun with every day. In particular, what food goes with what day.
I’m glad you asked.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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