Posts Tagged With: shrimp

Shrimp Fried Rice

Posted on January 8, 2017 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

SHRIMP FRIED RICE

INGREDIENTSshrimpfriedrice

1 cup rice
2 medium carrots
1″ ginger root
2 stalks green onions
2 eggs
½ tablespoon sesame oil (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons soy sauce
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons canola oil or olive oil
¾ pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
½ cup snow peas or snap peas

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor or grater
spice grinder
wok or skillet

Serves 4. Takes 35 minutes

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to directions on package. Grate carrot using food processor or grater. Grind ginger root in spice grinder. Dice green onions.

Add eggs to small mixing bowl. Whisk eggs. Add 1 tablespoon sesame oil to wok. Heat oil with medium-high heat until a tiny bit of egg dances in the oil. Add eggs. Sauté egg for 1 minute. (Do not stir.) Flip egg over with spatula. Add egg to flat surface. Cut egg into ¼” wide strips.

Add 1 tablespoon sesame oil, soy sauce, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Blend with whisk or fork. Add canola oil to wok. Heat on medium-high heat until tiny bit of ginger dances in the oil. Add shrimp. Sauté shrimp for 2 minutes or until shrimp turns pinkish orange. Stir and flip shrimp occasionally. Remove shrimp and set aside. Keep canola oil. Add ginger, carrot, and snow peas to wok. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until carrot and snow peas soften. Stir frequently.

Add egg strips, rice, green onion, sesame oil/soy sauce mixture to wok. Sauté on medium heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add shrimp. Stir. Serve in bowls immediately.
TIDBITS

1) The children’s game, CandylandTM, was invented way back when in prehistoric times by Philippe and Miriam Davout. The Davouts were devoted parents and persistent entrepreneurs. Hence, the saying that’s been passed down through the millennia, “As loving as a Davout hug. As novel as Davout fire.” Another stone-age adage that we know is, “As ugh as Ogg’s mastodon mignon.” But Chef Ogg deserves his own tidbit series after a recipe and so we return to the Davouts.

2) Anyway, little Yvette Davout didn’t have much to do. She had no school to go to. And what would the teacher have taught her? “Stay inside your cave. The pumas lurking outside will eat you.” That’s it. Her parents taught her. No need for school.

3) This attitude persists to this day. However, the truth be told, not many people nowadays do not get eaten, or even seriously challenged, by pumas. So, this view is kinda hard to challenge.

4) Meanwhile back at the cave, Yvette fussed and fussed. She couldn’t go out to see the Murat sisters. And after, their daughter Lucy got eaten by pumas, Daddy and Mommy Murat wouldn’t let their remaining girls visit Yvette anymore.

5) It got hot during Olduvai Gorge summers, particularly in a cave. Sweat rolled down Yvette’s sloped forehead like Eddie the Eagle doing a ski jump. She needed a distraction before she went stir crazy and ran outside to eaten by pumas.

6) Then one glorious noon, a thought, the first of the day, popped into Miriam’s head. She explained it to Philippe. He smiled. “Yo ho, Miram, that a’s glorious idea, wife.” They chattered excitedly about rules, then stopped abruptly. Miriam slapped her head with a rock. It didn’t hurt, her skull was thick. Cave folk did this all the time.

7) Miriam, having waited for the author’s intrusion to stop said, “Boo hoo, we don’t have the requisite technology to fabricate the many colors needed to paint this game’s playing cards.”

8) That was quite a complex statement for the time. Philippe, having neither a dictionary nor even a ThesaurusTM, had to guess at its meaning. Then he too smashed something to his head. It was a large chunk of obsidian. It splintered into nice sharp dice-like cubes.

9) The Davouts looked at each other. Light bulbs, at once a metaphor and an artifact, lit up above their heads. “Let’s make dice–the first use of this word–out of these, these DICE,” said Philippe and they did. They finished the game lickety split.

10) Little Yvette loved the game. She played it and played it until the sharp edges of the obsidian dice sliced off too many of her fingers. Distraught and bored, she took up painting. It was tough painting with two fingers on her hand, hence the crudely shaped hunters and mastodons we see depicted in the Lascaux caves.

11) Yvette eventually gave her dice to her own daughter, Sabine. Sabine too was forbidden to go outside the cave or to play bloody Candyland. She took to cooking instead. Being smart like all dawn-of-humanity Davouts, Sabine took to chopping onions with her Candyland dice. She called this technique dicing and so do we. There you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Shrimp And Grits

Posted on December 14, 2016 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SHRIMP AND GRITS

INGREDIENTSshrimpandgrits

1 cup chicken broth
¾ cup milk
2½ cups water
1 cup grits
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons butter
1¾ cups grated Cheddar cheese
1 garlic clove
4 stalks green onions
5 bacon strips
1½ pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined
1½ tablespoons lemon juice

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add chicken broth, milk, and water to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Add grits gradually, stirring with whisk until no lumps exist. Add pepper and salt. Reduce heat to warm. Simmer to 10-to-20 minutes or until grits become tender and all the water has been absorbed. Stir occasionally. Remove from heat and add butter and Cheddar cheese. Blend in cheese and butter with fork. Cover.

While liquid boils and grits become tender, mince garlic and dice green onions. Chop bacon into ½” squares. Add bacon squares to pan. Cook at medium-high heat for 3-to-5 minutes or until bacon becomes crispy, turning them over at least 1 time. Remove bacon and place on paper towel. Keep bacon grease in pan.

Add shrimp to pan. Sauté shrimp for 3 minutes at medium heat or until they start to turn pink or orange. (Don’t overcook shrimp. It will get mushy.) Add lemon juice. garlic, and green onion. Stir quickly until shrimp is well coated with garlic and green onion. Remove from heat.

Ladle grits into bowls. Top with shrimp and garlic/green onion/lemon juice. Sprinkle with bacon squares.

TIDBITS

1) It seems hard to believe now, but shrimp portraits were once quite popular in America during the late nineteenth century.

2) Darned difficult. I mean, why?

3) Okay, to understand phenomenon, one simply must read, Dr. Amos Keeto’s enthralling work, “Amazing Fads of the Gilded Age,” Garlic Press, Paducah, Kentucky, 1933.

4) According to Dr. Keeto, horse racing was incredibly popular in the 1890s. People with too much money, having bought up anything of any value in America, turned to gambling. They wouldn’t bet on baseball. Ordinary folk did that.

5) So the filthy rich, so called because oil from their wells constantly spurted onto their clothes, would clean up and go the race tracks to wager on horses, the sport of kings.

6) Everything went well. The had fun playing the horses. They lost vast sums, of course, but they had vast sum to lose. The race course owners became quite wealthy as well. They purchased gigantic mansions and went on railroad buying sprees. The Race Track magnate, Silas Brunswick, even bought BrusselsSproutsTM for $250,000 after it came out with the BS PadTM.

7) The BS Pad, a precursor to iPhonesTM, tablets, and the such, consisted of two tin cans tied together with a string, an abacus, and a sketch pad. Improvements have been made since then. Nevertheless, it was all new back then and the sexy BS was all the rage

8) But the craze stopped a scant year later when all of a sudden shouting became socially acceptable once more.

9) Then horse racing died out. On May 5, 1897, the swiftest horses gathered for the prestigious Mississippi Derby in Biloxi. Society’s elite bet over a million on the horses. The favorites were Southern Boil and Sandstorm.

10) People still debate what happened. As the horses turned the corner to enter the final stretch, an enormous fog rolled into. When the fog had lifted, all of the horses were gone. Everyone.

11) Where had they gone? Some speculated that the horses had gone to the same parallel universe that orphan socks go to when placed in a dryer. Some folks dispute this, noting electric dryers weren’t invented back then. The proponents counter, “Where you there, na, na, na, na, poo, poo?”

12) Some folks say that a mare in heat passed by the track and that time and the stallions merely left the race to chase after her. Still others maintain mass spontaneous combustion claimed all the horses, ignoring the fact that no explosions were ever heard. I mean, really.

13) We’ll never know what happened to the race horses. The race-track owner claiming that since no horse crossed the finished line, paid off none of the bets. This defiant act angered the wealthy bettors. Horse racing rapidly fell out of favor.

14) Fortunately, the crowd spied a cocktail of shrimp–you know, like a pod of whales–swimming off shore, and fast! An energetic entrepreneur, his name is lost to history, improvised a shrimp race course. By heavens, the event was fun. Shrimp racing became the most popular social event of the 1890s.

15) Breeding shrimp for speed became a lucrative business. Wealthy owners hired artists to paint their prize shrimps. These artists loved to eat grits. Hence, shrimp and grits. There you go.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Shrimp With Bell Peppers (Crevettes Aux Poivrons)

Posted on November 16, 2016 by pauldelancey

Togolese Entree

SHRIMP WITH BELL PEPPERS
(Crevettes aux Poivrons)

INGREDIENTSshrimpwithbellpeppers

2 garlic cloves
1½” ginger root
1 medium onion
1 green bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1¼ pounds shrimp (26-to-30 count, peeled and deveined)
2 tablespoons olive oil

Serves 4. Takes 25 minutes.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor

PREPARATION

Add garlic cloves, ginger root, and onion to food processor. Blend into paste. Seed green bell pepper, red bell pepper, and yellow bell pepper. Cut all three peppers into thin slices. Add olive oil and shrimp to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 1 minute. Flip shrimp over after 30 seconds. Stir frequently. Remove shrimp and place on plate. Keep oil in pan.

Add olive oil and garlic/ginger/onion paste to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 3 minutes. Stir frequently. Add bell-pepper slices. Sauté for at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until pepper slices soften. Stir frequently. Return shrimp to pan and sauté for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns orange on both sides. Stir frequently.

TIDBITS

1) The word “Togolese” comes from the words “to go” and “legalese.”

2) The World Supreme To Go Court presides in Lome, Togo. Why there? Because Africa is the least litigious continent in the world when it litigators go to to-go. And Togo is the least sue-happy country over there. Plus, Togo has great to-go food. Why resolve international to-go lawsuits anywhere else?

3) You can get all sorts of Togolese to-go food from the land’s fine restaurants. However, if you do go to Togo, do go to their excellent shrimp-with-bell-peppers carts. Remember to say “please” and “thank you” or the vendors will biff your nose. But don’t sue them, they know their culinary law.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Shrimp in Garlic Butter

Posted on November 14, 2016 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

SHRIMP IN GARLIC BUTTER

INGREDIENTSshrimpingarlicbutter

4 garlic cloves
6 tablespoons butter
¼ cup lime juice
1½ pounds jumbo shrimp peeled, deveined
4 small flour tortillas
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro (optional)

Serves 4. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add butter to pan. Melt using low heat. Add garlic. Sauté on medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Stop if garlic starts to brown. Add lime juice and shrimp. Sauté at medium heat for 3 minutes on each side or until shrimp turns pinkish-orange. Stir frequently. Warm tortillas in microwave or in pan on stove. Put shrimp in a serving bowl and tortillas on a serving plate. Let guests add shrimp to tortillas and garnish with cilantro as they wish.

TIDBITS

1) The ascent of life One-billion years ago: Viruses appear.

2) 900 million years ago (MYA): Taco trucks arrive. They serve wonderful food.

3) 800 MYA: Taco trucks disappear. Viruses, while great fans of all Mexican food, simply cannot eat much. It takes trillions and trillions of viruses to eat one taco. And viruses simply cannot carry enough cash with them. And they’re sightless and cannot even find a taco truck even if one were to bite them on the nose. Which viruses don’t have. One wonders how taco truck owners managed to find the financial backing to last through 100 millions years of disappointing sales.

4) 63 MYA + 1: Taco trucks reappear. The food is, as always, fantastic. Carnivorous dinosaurs love them. Taco vendors work out a barter agreement with them.

5) 63 MYA: Taco trucks disappear along with the dinosaurs and most of life on Earth. Giant meteors slamming into Earth, always a bad thing.

6) 1788: Taco trucks reappear in Paris, France. King Louis XVI loves their food.

7) 1793: Louis XVI is beheaded. Taco trucks disappear. The French Revolution has many excesses.

8) 1880s: Taco trucks arrive in San Antonio, Texas. We are living in a golden age.

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Xin Xim (chicken and shrimp stew)

Posted on September 17, 2016 by pauldelancey

Brazilian Entree

XIN XIM
(chicken and shrimp stew)

xinximINGREDIENTS

3 garlic cloves
⅓ cup lime juice
2 tablespoons olive oil (2 more tablespoons later)
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1½ pounds boneless chicken breasts
1½ pounds boneless chicken thighs
1 pound jumbo shrimp, peeled and deveined
2 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon palm oil (aka dende), annatto oil, or olive oil (2½ tablespoons more later)
1 large onion
1 green bell pepper
3 plum tomatoes
1½ cups chicken stock
1 ounce dried shrimp or ground dried shrimp
1½ ounces gingerroot
¾ cup cashews
⅓ cup peanuts, roasted and unsalted
2½ tablespoons palm oil (aka dende), annatto oil, or olive oil
1¼ cups coconut milk
⅓ cup fresh cilantro
2 fresh malagueta peppers (These are really hot. Serrano and jalapeno peppers are milder and easier to find)

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor
Dutch oven
sonic obliterator

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Add garlic cloves to food processor. Blend until you get garlic paste. Add garlic paste, lime juice, 2 tablespoons olive oil, pepper, salt, chicken breasts, chicken thighs, and shrimp to large mixing bowl. Turn the chicken and the shrimp until they are well coated. Cover and marinate for 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

Remove chicken pieces from marinade and pat dry with paper towel. (Keep marinade.) Add chicken pieces and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes on each side (10 minutes total) or until chicken turns golden brown. Remove and set aside.

Remove shrimp from marinade. Add shrimp and 1 tablespoon palm oil to Dutch oven. Sauté shrimp using high heat for 2 minutes or until shrimp starts to turn pink. Stir frequently. Remove shrimp with its marinade and set aside.

Mince onion. Seed and dice green bell pepper and plum tomatoes. Add onion and bell pepper to Dutch oven. Sauté for 5 minutes using medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add tomato, chicken pieces, and chicken stock. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir occasionally. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer stew for 30 minutes. Stir occasionally.

While stew simmers, add dried shrimp, gingerroot, cashews, and peanuts to food processor. Grind using low setting until you get little bits. Stop before they become paste. Add bits to Dutch oven. Stir until bits blend into the chicken stock. Simmer stew for 5 minutes on low heat.

While stews simmers, dice cilantro. (If at this time guests ask when will the meal be ready, zap them with your sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your kitchen.) Add cilantro, marinated shrimp, 2½ tablespoons palm oil, coconut milk, and malagueta peppers. Simmer on low heat for 5 minutes and shrimp are pink and the chicken is tender. Serve with golden farofa (a Brazilian dish made from cassava flour) or rice.

TIDBITS

1) Xin xim is an anagram for Xi minx. My 1941 dictionary says a minx is a hussy or a wanton. Xi is something inconsequential and boring. Qi is a word that no one ever speaks because no one knows what it means. It’s worth a lot in ScrabbleTM, though.

2) However, the anagram for “Chicken and Shrimp Stew” is “Mr. Ken’s pecan witch dish.” Mr. Ken Appleby was an Englishman working in Madrid in 1587 for the Spanish Inquisition. He never learned Spanish. Didn’t make interrogating his prisoners difficult?

3) Yes, it did. While his fellow Spanish-speaking inquisitors we’re putting prisoners on racks and extorting confessions with assembly-line efficiency, Ken lagged behind something considerable. Because he couldn’t understand the anguished admissions of his heretics, he had to resort to charades to communicate.

4) Except a person tied down and stretched out to pro-basketball lengths made a poor charade partner. So, Ken never tied down his prisoners. He fed them his pecan pie. Ken’s pies were delicious. People would confess to anything to eat one and they did. His pies were to die for and they did. Especially witches, who as everyone knows, break out in hives when they eat pecans. Ken was able to find one witch after another. He began a rapid ascent up the inquisitor ladder.

5) Then Spain and England went to war in 1588. A death warrant was put out for Ken. His happy days over, Ken fled to Brazil. However, his fame as with pecan pies preceded him. His life was still in danger. Fortunately an anagramist said his dish was anagram for chicken and shrimp stew. The Brazilians called his new culinary creation, xin xim, because they have words for everything. There.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Shrimp Tempura

Posted on August 27, 2016 by pauldelancey

Japanese Appetizer

SHRIMP TEMPURA

INGREDIENTSShrimpTempura-

2½ cups vegetable oil (or enough to cover shrimp)
1½ cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
¼ cup cornstarch
¼ teaspoon salt
1 egg yolk
1 cup ice-cold water
1 pound shrimp, 21-30 count, peeled, deveined, with tails left on*

* = Don’t worry if you removed the tails. This dish will taste as good. You’ll need forks; it will be hot.

SPECIAL UTENSILS                                                                         Oops, I removed the tails. I was distracted

deep fryer or electric skillet                                                                        by earthquakes and T-Rexes.
Bushnell 303 Hand Held Time MachineTM.

Serves 6. Takes 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add oil to deep fryer. (Make sure there is enough to cover shrimp.) Preheat oil to 375 degrees. While oil heats, add flour, baking powder, cornstarch, and salt to large mixing bowl. Beat egg yolk in small bowl with whisk. Add beaten egg yolk and ice-cold water to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until combined mixture turns to batter and is still slightly lumpy. Dredge shrimp though batter until completely coated. Don’t batter shrimp tails.

Add shrimp to deep fryer. Don’t let the shrimp touch each other. Fry shrimp at 375 degrees for 1½-to-2 minutes or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels. Repeat for successive batches.

TIDBITS

1) So many recipes tell you to preheat. What if you don’t have time to preheat? What if your sweetie is coming over? What if you see monstrous, rolling earthquakes just outside your window and you had wanted to make something special for him on his birthday, probably the last one by the looks of it? Simply use your Bushnell 303 Hand Held Time MachineTM to travel back in time and preheat your oven. How far back? As far as the Cretaceous Period if you like**.

2) ** = Be sure to look out for carnivorous dinosaurs. Also, hold onto your oven when you time travel. Otherwise, it won’t go with you and you’ll will have risked by eaten by a T-Rex for nothing. And then, won’t you feel foolish? Oh, and your electric bill will be high.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Shrimp Ceviche

Posted on August 4, 2016 by pauldelancey

Ecuadorian Appetizer

SHRIMP CEVICHE

INGREDIENTSCeviche-

8 limes or ¼ cup fresh lime juice
3 oranges or 1 cup fresh orange juice
1 large red onion
3 tomatoes
2 pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined
¼ cup fresh cilantro
⅓ cup ketchup
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Squeeze limes and oranges to get juices. Cut red onion into long, thin strips. Dice cilantro and tomato. Add enough water to cover shrimp to pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add shrimp to pot. Boil until shrimp turns slightly pink, about 2-to-3 minutes. Do not overcook, letting it turn completely red, as it will make the shrimp mushy. Remove shrimp with slotted spoon and let cool. Add lime juice, orange juice, red onion, cilantro, tomato, ketchup, pepper, salt, and vegetable oil to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add shrimp once it has cooled. Mix with hands until shrimp is well coated. Cover and refrigerate for 1 hour.

TIDBITS

1) Shrimp ceviche is reddish-pink and tasty. Many Vikings had reddish hair and loved good tasting food. However, Vikings ate oatmeal all the time, bowl after bowl. This drove the Norsemen crazy. They started cheating at checkers and saying, “Sez you” to everyone they met.

3) The Viking women took to cooking lutefisk. the foulest smelling, most evil dish ever rather than cook another yet bowl of oatmeal. Some wives had even thrown themselves into fjords instead of doing that. Fortunately, lutefisk’s horrible smell drove the menfolk to raid foreign lands for tasty food and even gold, sometimes. The women stayed at home and played Runeble, basically ScrabbleTM with runes, and ordered Chinese takeaway.

4) In 1284, Bjorni Thorvald, discovered Ecuador, while looking for a Pokemon GoTM character. This news electrified all Scandinavia. Whole clans of blood-thirsty Vikings moved to Ecuador. This is why there are so many blue-eyed redheads there.

5) Thus, the Viking raids stopped. Relieved Europeans came out of hiding to build the Renaissance.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Camarones Enchilados

Posted on July 28, 2016 by pauldelancey

Cuban Entree

CAMARONES ENCHILADOS

INGREDIENTSCamaronesEnchilados-

2 pounds shrimp, peeled and deveined
3 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
¼ cup fresh cilantro
4 garlic cloves
1 large onion
¼ cup fresh parsley
1 cubanelle, Anaheim pepper or yellow bell pepper
5 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
½ teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
¾ cup tomato sauce
½ cup white wine

Makes 4 bowls. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add shrimp, lime juice, pepper, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix together with hand or fork until shrimp is thoroughly coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. While shrimp marinates, mince cilantro, garlic cloves, onion and , parsley. Seed and dice cubanelle. Remove shrimp and keep marinade from mixing bowl.

Add olive oil, cubanelle, garlic, and onion to frying pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add cilantro, parsley, marinade, bay leaf, Tabasco sauce, tomato sauce, and white wine. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir occasionally. Add shrimp and simmer for 5 or until shrimp turns pink or orange and is no longer translucent. Remove bay leaf. Goes well with rice.

TIDBITS

1) Nes Enchila sold shrimp on a stick from the back of his Chevy Camaro in the Little Miami section of Havana during the 1950s. His food was so good that the Spanish speaking people, of which there were many in Havana, would ask for two or “dos.”

2) In 1959, hungry Cuban revolutionaries hailed Nes as he drove by. Nes remembered how Dictator Bautista had just stiffed him on a big catering order and fed them all. Their energy restored, Castro and his men ousted Bautista in two days. Later, Castro invited the Russians over for Nes’s shrimp. They brought missiles with them and the world almost had a nuclear war. Nes’s food was that good.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Indonesian Nasi Goreng

Posted on August 17, 2015 by pauldelancey

Indonesian Entree

NASI GORENG

INGREDIENTSNasiGoreng-

1½ cups rice
1 pound chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
2 green onions
1 shallot
1 inch gingerroot
1 large carrot
1 chile pepper, red or green
½ small cucumber
1 tablespoon sesame oil (1 additional teaspoon later)
2 tablespoons peanut oil
1 teaspoon sambal oelek or hot chili sauce
2 teaspoons fish sauce or Hoisin sauce or soy sauce
3 tablespoons ketjap manis or soy sauce
1 teaspoon dried shrimp
½ pound peeled and deveined shrimp
2 eggs

Makes 6 bowls. Takes 40 minutes

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on packet. Shred chicken into thin strips. Mince garlic cloves, green onions, and shallot. Grind gingerroot into fine paste. Dice carrot and chile pepper. Peel and thinly slice cucumber.

Add 1 tablespoon sesame oil, garlic, green onion, ginger, shallot, and chile pepper to first pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion and shallot softens. Stir frequently. Add peanut oil, shredded chicken, carrot, sambal oelek, fish sauce, ketjap manis, and dried shrimp to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for about 5 minutes or until chicken turns golden brown. Add shrimp and sauté on medium heat for 4 minutes or until shrimp turns orange.

While chicken and then shrimp sauté, add eggs and 1 teaspoon sesame oil to second pan. Fry eggs on medium heat for about 3 minutes or until done to desired level. Remove eggs and cut into thin strips. Add garlic/onion/gingeroot mix, shredded-chicken mix, rice, and egg strips to large serving bowl. Toss ingredients together. Garnish with cucumber slices.

TIDBITS

1) Shrimp can only swim backward.

2) The ability to walk backward is a highly praised trait among tour guides.

3) You’d think shrimp would be naturals as tour guides, but their limited life expectancy out of water and their, let’s face it, complete inability to speak is a real resume stain.

4) Uncooked shrimp are called “œgreen.” If you know this, you will win on JeopardyTM.

5) Male shrimp cannot get pregnant, just like human males.

6) However, in startling contrast, women usually give birth to one baby, while female shrimp pop out up to one-million eggs.

7) This is why baby-naming books for shrimp are extremely popular and long.

8) If you haven’t seen these books, it is because these books are only found on the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico or the sea floors of other seas where shrimp woo, marry, and engage in whoopee.

9) Shrimp raised in shrimp farms do not have access to baby-naming books. This is why captive shrimp always name their male babies, “Robert” and their female offspring, “Marie.”

10) The average shrimp is about 6″ long, while the longest extended to16″. In contrast, the average penis measures 5.1″, with the longest one topping out at 13.5″

11) Hence the famous saying, “Is that a shrimp in your pocket or are you happy to see me?”

12) People’s eyes have only 3 different photoreceptive cones, while shrimp have 16. We can only imagine what vivid colors these crustaceans see, what vivid art they could produce.

13) Unfortunately, shrimp only paint in water colors which run immediately in their underwater abodes. Their art disappears immediately. We never get to see their creations. So we eat them instead.

14) Shrimp are slowly but surely evolving defense systems to fight back. Indeed, the mantis already possesses fast and powerful claws. They can break aquarium glass.

15) You no doubt recall the chaos and the terror that occurred when ten-million mantis shrimps staged a mass break out of the aquarium at Fort Lagniappe, Louisiana. The entire town disappeared under a wave of crabby crustaceans. It was only when the Air Force bombed the shrimp with hot garlic-butter sauce that the threat was contained. Every May 9th since then has been known as National Shrimp Day.

16) To ensure manageable levels of shrimp, the federal government promotes the inclusion of bacon-wrapped shrimp in school lunches. If your school’s cafeteria does not carry this entree, by all means, contact your congressman at once.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Filipino Pancit

Posted on October 19, 2014 by pauldelancey

Filipino Entree

PANCIT

INGREDIENTSPancit-

1 pound chicken breast
4 garlic cloves
⅓ cup soy sauce
10 ounces rice noodles
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ head cabbage
8 ounces de-veined shrimp
¼ teaspoon pepper
3 lemons

Takes a bit more than an hour
Makes 9 bowls

PREPARATION

Cut chicken into ½” cubes. Mince garlic cloves. Add chicken, half of the minced garlic, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Coat chicken cubes with garlic and soy sauce. Let chicken marinate for 1 hour.

While chicken marinates, add rice noodles to large mixing bowl. Cover noodles with warm water. Let sit for 30 minutes. Drain completely.

While chicken marinates and rice noodles sit in warm water, shred cabbage. Add oil and second half of the minced garlic to pan. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic softens. Stir frequently. Add chicken cubes and its marinade to pan. Sauté for another 5 minutes or until chicken starts to brown. Stir frequently.

Add cabbage, shrimp, and pepper to pan. Cook for 5 minutes on medium heat or until cabbage becomes tender and shrimp turns orange and is no longer translucent. Add rice noodles to pot. Cook on medium for 3 minutes or until noodles are warm. Stir occasionally. Serve in bowls. Cut each lemon into 6 slices. Garnish each bowl of pancit with 2 lemon slices.

TIDBITS

1) Filipino doctor Aguilar discovered the antibiotic “erythromycin.”

2) Whatever that is.

3) A Filipino scientist invented the flourescent lamp. Well maybe, lots of people helped it along.

4) Why is spell check claiming I misspelled “flourescent?” Okay, the dictionary says it’s “fluorescent.” In Chef Versus Spell Checker, Spell Checker wins. Bummer.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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