Posts Tagged With: Chinese

Bacon Roses

Posted on November 26, 2013 by pauldelancey

American Breakfast

BACON ROSES

INGREDIENTS

1 pound sliced bacon

SPECIAL UTENSILS

1 box wooden toothpicks
1 or 2 baking pans (must have raised sides to keep bacon grease from spilling into oven)

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Roll up bacon slice. Put 3 or 4 toothpicks into the bottom of the bacon roll so it stands upright like a spaceship. Repeat for remaining slices. Put bacon spaceships upright in baking pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 20 minutes. Serve and enjoy. This dish is particularly good on the mornings of those romantic days such as Valentine’s Day or your anniversary and you’ve suddenly realized, Oh my gosh, I forgot to get flowers.

TIDBITS

1) Bacon is great for you. It will make you live longer. For proof, click http://newrisingmedia.com/all/2013/9/30/study-shows-eating-bacon-will-make-you-live-longer.

2) Bacon inspires artists. For Nick Offerman’s slam poem for bacon click https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSVO5VloDlc. Read Shakespeare’s Henry IV Part 1 and The Merry Wives Of Windsor to see how bacon inspired the Great Bard.

3) I am running for president on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket. My running mate is Candace C. Bowen. Click on https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty for more information.

4) Bacon conquered the Wild West. Settlers from the East carried bacon, coffee, beans, and flour with them. Wagon trains carrying too little bacon turned back or met with horrible fates.

5) Making bacon by preserving and salting pork bellies began with the Chinese around 1500BC. The earliest account of bacon and eggs for breakfast dates back to 1560. China is the world’s most populous nation. Coincidence? Perhaps.

6) George Orwell wrote about bacon in 1931. He wrote Animal Farm fourteen years later, possibly to justify the killing of pigs to make bacon.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, politics | Tags: American, Animal Farm, bacon, Bacon & Chocolate Party, bacon roses, breakfast, Candace C. Bowen, Chinese, Facebook, George Orwell, pigs, roses, The Merry Wives of Windsor, Wild West | Leave a comment

Korean Hamburger

Posted on November 4, 2013 by pauldelancey

Korean Entree

KOREAN HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTS

1/2 yellow onion
3 cloves garlic
1 1/2 pounds ground beef.
2 tablespoons gochuchang (hot Korean paste)
1/2 tablespoons gochucharu (or red pepper flakes)
1 teaspoon soy sauce
1 large tomato
5 leaves Chinese cabbage or Napa cabbage
5 ounces hot pepper-jack cheese
5 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Mince yellow onion and garlic. Add onion, garlic, ground beef, gochuchang, gochucharu, and soy sauce to mixing bowl. Combine with hands. (Be sure to wash your hands thoroughly after doing this. The spices now on your hands will raise four-alarm fires if they come in contact with your face.) Cut tomato into 5 slices.

Make 5 patties from the meat mixture. Fry patties in pan at medium heat for about 5 minutes on each side or until sides begin to brown or juices from the patties run clear. Add a 1-ounce slice of pepper-jack cheese to each patties are fry for 1 minute more or until cheese starts to melt. Assemble the burgers with: buns, patty, tomato slice, and cabbage leaf.

TIDBITS

1) Kim Jong Un, the current leader of the communist monarchy that is North Korea is said by the country’s media to be “born of heaven.”

2) As proof of his divinity, or at least greatness, the country’s government point to the lair of a North Korean unicorn. Mind you this was not the home of your run-of-the mill unicorn. Oh no, this was the abode of the unicorn ridden by Tongmyong, the mythical founder of Korea. This discovery occurred in December, 2012. This site is the only existing unicorn site. It is feared that all other such sites failed to open when they realized how outclassed they were by North Korea’s.

3) Kim Jong Un’s dad, Kim Jong II, also ruled North Korea. He too was heaven sent. We can believe it as he bowled a perfect 300 in his first game and shot five holes-in-one on his first time golfing. When he died, North Korea’s sacred mountain, Paektu, glowed red, which is way cool.

4) The most popular restaurant in Pyongyang, the country’s capital, is the New Diplo with two reviews on TripAdvisorTM.. Unfortunately, it is only available to diplomats. Career change, anyone?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: cabbage, Chinese, communist, entree, garlic, gochuchang, gochucharu, golfing, hamburger, heaven, holes-in-one, hot Korean paste, Kim Jong II, Kim Jung Un, Korean, monarchy, Napa, New Diplo, North Korea, onion, Paektu, pepper jack, perfect 300, red pepper, soy sauce, tomato, Tongmyong, TripAdvisor, unicorn | Leave a comment

Orange Fool Dessert

Posted on September 27, 2013 by pauldelancey

Fijian Dessert

ORANGE FOOL

INGREDIENTS

1 cup pulp-free orange juice
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups milk
1/2 cup cream
3 eggs
whipped cream

PREPARATION

Put orange juice, nutmeg, cinnamon, sugar, milk, cream, and eggs in 2-quart saucepan. Cook on medium heat for about 15 minutes and stir constantly. Do not let it boil or burn. It is done when the mixture is as thick as cream, all the egg bits are cooked, and when you do not see smooth yellow liquid when you stir. Clearly, this dish, while easy, requires a lot of attention near the end.

Be sure to taste mixture at this point to see if you want to add more sugar. People’s opinions about the correct sweetness of this dish vary considerably.

Pour into glass cake dish and chill in refrigerator. Put chilled mixture in blender and blend the heck out of it. Pour into short glasses or mugs. Squirt whipped cream on top until you are happy with the universe.
TIDBITS

1) A fool is a kind of custard or clotted cream.

2) Orange in Dutch is sinasapple which means “Chinese apple.”

3) Orange sodas in The Netherlands are not orange in color but clear.

4) Fiji has won the world championship in rugby.

5) When I was nine, my family moved from California to Australia. Our plane stopped briefly in Fiji. One of my parents got off the plane and brought me back a Fijian coin. I did not get to disembark. Thirty-one years later, I returned to Fiji to honeymoon and stayed ten days.

6) Nothing in the English language rhymes with “orange.” I’ve always thought “Stonehenge” came quite close, but it doesn’t have the official approval of the rhyme keepers.

7) I lived in the Netherlands from 1969 to 1972. If you wish to order french fries with spicy mayonnaise, ask for, “Frites met.” “Frites” is pronounced, “freets.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Australia, California, Chinese, dessert, Dutch, Fiji, fijian, Netherlands, orange fool, spicy mayonnaise, Stonehenge, whipped cream | Leave a comment

Greek Lemon Potatoes

Posted on June 9, 2013 by pauldelancey

Greek Entree

LEMON POTATOES

INGREDIENTS

6 potatoes
3 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon oregano
2 teaspoons lemon zest
1 parsley
1/4 pepper
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 thyme
1/2 cup chicken broth

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Mince garlic cloves. Put all ingredients except potato cubes in mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk. Put spice/herb/mixture in casserole dish. Add potato cubes. Turn potato cubes around until coated with spice/herb mixture.

Put casserole dish in oven. Bake at 425 degree for 1 hour to 90 minutes or until potato is tender and starting to turn golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Rosemary has long been held to improve memory.

2) Rosemary was sometimes worn at the wedding ceremony to remind the happy couple to always remember their wedding vows and to bring good luck. At funerals, it meant the living would always recall the dearly departed.

3) The Chinese used rosemary to get rid of headaches and cure baldness.

4) Rosemary has long been held to improve memory.

5) The Greeks thought rosemary could aid the liver and improve digestion.

6) In the wonderful British television series, “All Creatures Great and Small,” the main characters wax ecstatic over the prospect of having rosemary added to lamb. This is the only time out of more than a hundred episodes that they ever mention a spice or a herb.

7) Rosermary branches were used in Medieval Europe to combat the plague.

8) Rosemary is a safe herb for “brown thumbs” to grow.

9) Rosemary is connected with the Virgin Mary. Their flowers obtain their color from the shawl Mary placed over the shrub.

10) Rosemary is a happening herb.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: All Creatures Great and Small, baldness, British, brown thumb, Chinese, cookbook, De Lancey, Europe, funerals, garlic, Greek, Greeks, headaches, herb, lemon, medieval, memory, meon zest, olive oil, parley, potatoes, Virgin Mary, weddings | Leave a comment

Cashew Chicken

Posted on January 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

CASHEW CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

4 boneless and skinless chicken breasts

MARINADE

2 teaspoons peanut oil
1/2 cup soy sauce
3 tablespoons chili powder
1/2 teaspoon ginger powder
1/2 cup honey
4 teaspoons corn starch
2 teaspoon malt vinegar

MAIN

2 cups cashews
1 stalk green onion

4 green bell peppers
1 medium white onion

3 teaspoons soy sauce
3/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon white pepper
2 1/2 teaspoons sugar
2 1/2 malt vinegar
1/2 teaspoon sesame oil

1 cup rice

PREPARATION

MARINADE

Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Place cubes in mixing bowl. Add soy sauce, chili powder, ginger powder, corn starch, and malt vinegar. Mix thoroughly with hands or until chicken cubes are completely coated with this mixture. Let marinate from 30 minutes to several hours, the longer the better. (That is if your stomach stimulated by the wonderful aroma received by your nose will let you.)

MAIN PART

While waiting for chicken to marinate, add cashews to saucepan and cover with water. Bring water to boil and simmer for about 6 minutes until cashews become soft. Remove pan from heat, drain water, and set softened cashews aside. Dice green onion.

Mince green bell peppers and white onion. Sauté bell peppers and onion in saucepan until onion become soft and clearer. Add in: marinade, soy sauce, water, white pepper, sugar, malt vinegar, and sesame oil. Heat on medium high until all the chicken cubes are no longer pink inside. Determine the color by cutting a cube open. (Unless, of course, you are SupermanTM and have x-ray vision.) Stir frequently.

While chicken is cooking, prepare rice according to instructions shown on bag. Combine chicken cubes, marinade, green onion, and cashews. Serve on top of rice and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) Ancient Babylon’s women ate sesame seeds and honey to prolong health and beauty.

2) Ancient Roman’s soldiers ate the same things to get strength and energy.

3) I wonder how many times the sesame seed/oil mixture gave beauty to the Roman soldiers and strength to Babylonian women. I mean sesame seeds and oil aren’t smart at all. I could very see how these inanimate objects could confuse these two missions.

4) Danged ants keep running across my keyboard. What do they expect to find here? There’s no food here. Stupid ants.

5) Great! Now, I’ve lost my train of thought. Stupid ants.

6) I wish I could make a deal with them. Stay out of my house forever and I’ll dump every morsel of food that doesn’t get cooked–such as fat, yum–-or eaten.

7) But ants aren’t that smart. That’s why they sometimes crawl over my keyboard looking for food. Stupid ants. Whap! One fewer ant. One fewer ant for Paul’s office, one great victory for picnickers everywhere.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: Amazon, ants, Bablyon, breasts, cashew, cashew chicken, chicken, chili, China, Chinese, cookbook, Eat Me, entree, ginger, green onion, Kindle, Paul, picnickers, rice, Roman, sesame, soldiers, soy, women | Leave a comment

Picture Of Entrees, Desserts, And Appetizers From My Forthcoming Cookbook

Posted on November 26, 2012 by pauldelancey

Ice cream soda to lemongrass chicken to niter kibeh to pepper pot.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: Cambodian, Chinese, Ethiopian, Hawaiian, ice cream soda, Italian, Jamaican, jerk chicken, Kung Pao, lasagna, lutefisk, Mexican, Morrocan, mozzarella, niter kibeh, Oaxaca, Peruvian, yogurt | Leave a comment

Teriyaki Chicken With Rice

Posted on November 25, 2012 by pauldelancey

Japanese Entree

TERIYAKI CHICKEN WITH RICE

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
1 1/2 teaspoons water (3 cups more later)
1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup soy sauce
1 1/2 tablespoons cider vinegar
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
3 chicken breasts

1 1/2 cups brown rice
3 cups water
2 yellow bell peppers
2 stalks green onion

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Mince garlic cloves. Cut chicken breasts into fourths. Dice yellow peppers and green onion.

Add garlic, water, cornstarch, sugar, soy sauce, cider vinegar, ginger, and poultry spice. Stir frequently while cooking on medium-high heat until sauce thickens and bubbles. Do not boil.

Pour sauce into baking dish, size 8-inches by 8-inches or greater. Put chicken into pan. Turn the chicken pieces around in the sauce until all sides are coated. Bake the chicken for about an hour or until done.

While chicken is baking, cook rice as directed on the bag of rice, use rice, or cook until rice is tender. Add minced bell peppers and green onion to top of rice.

Put rice mixture in bowl. Add teriyaki chicken and sauce.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t spill cornstarch. That white stuff gets everywhere.

2) “Teri” is Japanese for “luster” coming from the sauce and “yaki” means “grill.”

3) The “Why did the chicken cross the road?” joke came from vaudeville about a hundred years ago.

4) The most prestigious act out of ten vaudeville acts was the ninth.

5) I looked up “Fun facts about soy sauce” on GoogleTM and was given “Fun facts about strippers” as the second entry. I don’t believe I want to know the connection between soy sauce and strippers.

6) Often Chinese greet each other with “Have you had your rice today?” instead of “How are you?” Much nicer than “How’s it hanging?” don’t you think?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: chicken, China, Chinese, cookbook, entree, garlic, Google, Japan, Japanese, Poultry Magic, rice, soy sauce, strippers, teriyaki | Leave a comment

Egg Drop Soup

Posted on November 13, 2012 by pauldelancey

Chinese Soup

EGG DROP SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1/2 small potato
3 stalks green onion
32 ounces chicken broth
1/4 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 eggs

PREPARATION

Bake a potato for 40 minutes at 400 degrees or according to instructions shown on bag of potatoes. While the potato is baking, mince the green-onion stalks. Cut the baked potato into tiny squares or dice briefly. (Consider using microwavable potatoes. This nifty agricultural advancement from this great country saves you time and your guests don’t have to know. Or you can skip the potato altogether.)

Mix broth, green onion, spice, oil, potato, and cornstarch thoroughly in pot. Bring soup to boil. Add eggs. Reduce heat to medium high or until the boiling soup no longer resembles the frothing witches’ cauldron in Macbeth. Mix soup with fork until all the egg yolks are cooked and are in small bits. You might need to go on a search and destroy mission for any lurking and intact egg yolks.

This dish cries out to be served in china bowls or at least no bowls with elegant Winnie-the-PoohTM designs. Make this dish often. It tastes great, looks impressive, and is so easy to make.

TIDBITS

1) My wife and I once went to a children’s museum in Ashford, Oregon. The challenge of the day was to prevent your egg from cracking when dropped from a height of ten feet. Your job was to prevent this using a balloon, a square of cardboard, and some tape. Both our kids’ eggs survived the drop. Hooray!

2) When I was a small boy, we had a chicken farm just a few blocks away. However, nearly all municipalities today forbid the raising of chickens. You have to go to outlying areas to buy fresh eggs.

3) My younger son loves to cook eggs.

4) Many Chinese recipes for egg-drop soup omit potatoes. Potatoes in this soup is a variation by the Chinese laborers who helped to build the transcontinental railroad in the 1860s.

5) Don’t drop eggs from a height of ten feet when the soup is boiling. You’ll regret it. Greatly. For a long time.

6) Does anyone remember how Linus in that great comic strip, Peanuts, drove his grammar-school teacher Miss Othmar crazy by repeatedly forgetting to bring egg shells to class?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: Ashford, Chef Paul, China, Chinese, cookbook, egg drop, egg shells, Miss Othmar, Oregon, Paul De Lancey, Peanuts, recipes, soup, Winnie-, Winnie-The-Pooh | 3 Comments

Chinese Lemon Chicken

Posted on September 21, 2012 by pauldelancey

Chinese Entree

LEMON CHICKEN

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 cups rice
3 cups water

MARINADE
2 1/2 pounds chicken breasts
2 tablespoons soy sauce
1/2 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice (1 teaspoon total, with 1/4 tsp. for batter, and tsp. 1/4 for sauce.)

BATTER
3 eggs
1/3 cup cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice (1 teaspoon total, with 1/2 tsp. for marinade, and 1/4 tsp. for sauce.)

vegetable oil for frying

SAUCE
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 1/4 cups chicken broth
1/2 cup lemon juice
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice (1 teaspoon total, with 1/2 tsp. for marinade, and 1/4 tsp. for batter.)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil

PREPARATION

Cook rice according to instructions on accompanying bag. This should take about 30 minutes.

Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. This cutting is easiest when the chicken is partially thawed. Use a large bowl to coat all sides of the chicken cubes with soy sauce and poultry spice. Put this bowl in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes.

While chickens marinates or rice cooks, use whisk or fork to thoroughly mix eggs with cornstarch, baking powder, and poultry spice. Coat the chicken cubes with this batter.

Put brown sugar, chicken broth, lemon juice, honey, ginger, and poultry spice in bowl. Mix this sauce thoroughly with whisk, fork, or briefly in a particle accelerator.

Heat skillet to 350 degrees. Put chicken in skillet along with excess batter. Don’t stack chicken cubes; cook another batch instead. Cook until the chicken is done; it should be firm and white, not purplish and translucent. Remove cooked chicken cubes and place them on paper towels to remove grease.

Heat 2 tablespoons vegetable oil in sauce pan and mix in the sauce. Stir frequently and cook on medium heat until sauce becomes clear.

Put rice in bowls. Top rice with lemon chicken and sauce and serve.

TIDBITS

1) I have a lemon tree growing in my back yard as well as an orange tree.

2) We had a loquat bush and a guava bush when I was growing up.

3) Lemons grow in California, Italy, Portugal, and Spain.

4) Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492. He hailed from Italy and sailed for Spain. Spain and Portugal were responsible for most of the world’s discoveries in the 16th century.

5) America was really first discovered by intrepid people crossing the land bridge from Asia to Alaska. They did not eat lemons.

6) Neither did the Vikings who discovered America about a thousand years ago.

7) My goodness, America got discovered a lot.

8) People during the Middle Ages served fish with lemon slices. They thought the lemon’s acid would dissolve any fish bones they accidentally swallowed.

9) Lemon juice slows the browning of sliced apples.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: 1492, America, California, chicken, China, Chinese, Columbus, cookbook, entree, ginger, guava, honey, Ilaly, lemon, loquat, Portugal, rice, Spain, Vikings | Leave a comment

Pasta With Spicy Peanut Sauce

Posted on September 9, 2012 by pauldelancey

Thai Entree

PASTA WITH SPICY PEANUT SAUCE

INGREDIENTS

1 pound pasta, not multicolored
1/3 cup rice wine vinegar
1/3 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup water
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons peanut oil
5 tablespoons sesame oil
1/4 tablespoon TabascoTM sauce
7 tablespoons smooth peanut butter

2 tablespoons butter
2 cups Asian vegetables: carrots, bell peppers, watercress, snow peas, etc. Try to get more than one color.

PREPARATION

Prepare pasta according to instructions on package or boil pasta for about 7 minutes

Note: put a thin coating of vegetable oil or some other plain-tasting oil on your measuring spoon before measuring something sticky like peanut butter or honey. This will make getting the peanut butter off the measuring spoon easier. (If you try to remove the p.b. by flinging it off the spoon it will go everywhere. And peanut butter can be so hard to remove from a stucco ceiling.)

Put vinegar, soy sauce, water, ginger, sugar, peanut oil, sesame oil, TabascoTM sauce, and peanut butter in blender. Blend using “liquefy” setting.

Cook pasta according to directions on box or bag. Spoon out pasta with pasta spoon–-curved with holes in it.

Dice or mince Asian veggies. Try to have multiple colors. Don’t puree them or you might end with an unappetizing yellow plop. Put butter, minced garlic, and Asian veggies in sauce pan. Saute for about 6 minutes on medium high heat. Stir frequently.

Top pasta with sauce and Asian vegetables. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) Years ago, my wife and I went to a future mom’s party. We brought this dish. Other parents-to-be arrived with fancy dishes or meals picked up at stores. No one touched our dish for a while. It was plain with a bit of diced bell peppers.

Later though, an especially astute man, in my opinion, tried our dish. He loved it and walked around telling everyone that it was great and must be tried. Well, this dish was the first one to be completely eaten. Bliss.

2) It wasn’t eaten at first because it looked boring and that I had used marginally more effort than pouring CheeriosTM into a bowl. Use more than one color with your Asian vegetables.

3) Ice cream was invented by the Chinese. Marco Polo brought this recipe back to Europe. The ice cream was entirely eaten before he got back to Venice.

4) Frozen vegetables are usually frozen right after picking and so might have had less time to lose their nutrients than fresh ones.

5) The Romans thought raw peas were poisonous and dried them before eating.

6) The 17th century French restored the pea to culinary favor.

7) This recipe can be dish intensive. Don’t try it if your dishwasher isn’t working. Just saying.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: Asian, butter, Cheerios, Chinese, cookbook, De Lancey, entree, French, Marco Polo, pasta, peanut, recipes, Romans, sauce, soy sauce, spicy, Tabasco, Thai, Venice, wine | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: Chinese

Bacon Roses

Korean Hamburger

Orange Fool Dessert