Posts Tagged With: American

Spicy Chicken Strips

Posted on December 7, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SPICY CHICKEN STRIPS

INGREDIENTSSpicyCS-

4 chicken breasts

3 garlic cloves
2 eggs
1 1/2 tablespoons prepared mustard
1 1/2 tablespoons Dijon mustard

3 cups bread crumbs or cracker crumbs
2 tablespoons dried basil
1 tablespoon paprika
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
no-stick cooking spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Coat baking sheets with no-stick spray.

Cut chicken breasts into pieces 3-inches long and 1-inch wide. (Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being an entree.)

(Did you know you can buy a butcher’s block with a precisely measured line so that your chicken piece will not only be exactly 3-inches by 1-inch, they will also have precise 90 degrees angles? People who like knives and this product scare me.)

Mince garlic cloves. Put garlic, eggs, prepared mustard, and Dijon mustard into mixing bowl. Stir well.

Make bread crumbs if you don’t have them. (Dry, hard bread is a great source of bread crumbs. If you don’t have dry, hard bread, toasted bread will do. Crackers also make excellent crumbs.)

Combine crumbs, basil, paprika, coriander, poultry spice, chili powder, black pepper, and salt in another mixing bowl. Stir well.

Dip chicken strip in egg mixture. Roll dipped chicken strip in crumbs until it’s completely covered. Put covered strip on baking sheet. Repeat until all strips are coated.

Bake chicken strips in oven at 400 degrees for 10 to 15 minutes or until golden brown and chicken meat is completely white. (As always, cooking times vary widely depending on the oven and the closeness of the food to the heating coils.)

TIDBITS

1) Dijon is home to the Dijon Ducs, who play hockey in the Magnus League.

2) Magnus Svenson lives in Sweden as do many other Magnussons. Probably, at least a few of them play hockey.

3) Swedish hockey is generally considered superior to that played in France.

4) However, many more people prefer France’s wine to Sweden’s.

5) Something to consider when planing a vacation to Europe.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Buttermilk Pancakes

Posted on November 19, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BUTTERMILK PANCAKES

INGREDIENTS

1 cup cultured buttermilk blend
4 cups water
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup baking powder
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 eggs
1/2 cup butter

SPECIALTY UTENSILS

electric mixer

PREPARATION

Use “batter” setting on electric mixer, or beater, to combine buttermilk blend, water, eggs, and melted butter (You can, of course, buy buttermilk of using buttermilk blend, but your buttermilk will go bad if you don’t use it right away.)

Combine in a second large mixing bowl: flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Melt butter.(Use a mere fraction of an ostrich egg if chicken eggs aren’t available)

Pour the contents of the second bowl into the first mixing bowl. Mix together with fork until just blended.

Fire up the griddle to 350 degrees. Use a 4-ounce or 1/4 cup ladle to pour your batter onto the griddle. Cook for 1 3/4 minutes on the first side and for 1 1/2 minutes on the second side or until brown on both sides.

Makes 22 6-inch diameter pancakes, enough for those neighbors next door so they’ll invite you over for one of their sauna parties.

TIDBITS

1) Buttermilk was originally the non-fat liquid left over after churning milk into butter.

2) Today, buttermilk is made by adding lactic-acid-producing bacteria, usually Streptococtus lactus . . . Oh gosh, I can’t go on. I googled “fun facts about buttermilk” and this is what showed up!

3) People drink buttermilk to soothe their stomachs.

4) But not before reading the expiration date on the carton.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tangy Buffalo (Bison) Meatloaf

Posted on October 28, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

TANGY BUFFALO (BISON) MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTS

1/2 medium onion
3 garlic cloves
1/4 cup grated carrots
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
2 pounds ground buffalo (bison) meat
3 large eggs
2 tablespoons parsley
2 tablespoons steak sauce
1/2 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1 cup bread crumbs

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mince onion, garlic, and carrots. Add this to olive oil and saute on medium heat until soft or about 6 minutes.

Combine onion/garlic/carrot mix, buffalo (bison) meat, eggs, parsley, steak sauce, meat spice, and bread crumbs in baking dish. Mix this thoroughly. Sorry, you really need to use your hands to do a good job here.

Spray cooking dish with no-stick cooking spray. Transfer the meat mass to this dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 40-to-60 minutes (The shape and size of your baking dish can make cooking times vary greatly.) Let meatloaf cool for 5 – 10 minutes.

Baking is always a bit scary, particularly when cooking a dish for the first time. What will it taste like? Once you put that dish into the oven there is nothing you can do to change the taste.

TIDBITS

1) I didn’t like meatloaf as a kid. My attitude changed when I could decide what went into it.

2) The musician Meatloaf was in The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Nearly all links found by GoogleTM about “meatloaf” refer to him.

3) What Americans call “buffalo” is more properly referred to as “American bison” by zoologists. The heck with them, all Americans except for maybe two, call them buffalo. This beast is our critter. We’re calling it “buffalo.” So there.

4) There used to be up to 60,000,000 buffalo in America. Nowadays, only 200,000 exist.

5) Hunters during the 19th century used to kill buffalo only for their hides and tongues. Millions upon millions of buffalo meatloaves were wasted.

6) Although it’s doubtful that Native Americans ever made buffalo meatloaf before the arrival of settlers, they used much more of the critter, making buffalo jerky, for instance.

7) I am also grateful to the Native Americans for corn. Without corn, there would be no popcorn.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Baked Garlic Squash From Forthcoming Cookbook

Posted on October 18, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

BAKED GARLIC SQUASH

INGREDIENTS

1 big butternut squash
2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup olive oil
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh parsley
2 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM
1/2 teaspoon herbes de Provence
1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Cut off skin of squash. Remove pulpy bottom of squash and discard. (Put in recycling bin if your community recycles squash pulp.) Cut remaining squash into one-inch cubes. Melt butter. Mince garlic cloves.

Mix butter, olive oil, parsley, garlic, salt, vegetable spice, herbes de Provence, and Parmesan cheese in 2-quart baking dish. Add squash cubes. Stir and turn cubes until they are well coated with the mix.

Bake dish at 425 degrees for about 50 minutes or until squash is tender.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t waste this tasty dish on kids who might look at it and say, “Ew, squash. I don’t like squash. I won’t eat it.” Good. More for you.

2) The USDA said that a 3/4 bushel of small, Georgian yellow crookneck squash costs from $8.00 to $10.35.

3) Some raw squashes can make men jealous. They’re probably the ones that cost $10.35.

4) Squash is a fruit and was never reclassified by the Reagan administration to become a vegetable.

5) George Washington enjoyed growing butternut squash. It is doubtful that our Revolutionary War against England would have been won without him.

5) The Confederate soldiers in the Army of the Tennessee were called “butternuts” because used dye from the butternut walnut to color their uniforms. The South lost the Civil War.

6) The popularity of the butternut walnut declined forever in the post-war South.

7) Well, it could have happened.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Skillet Sirloin

Posted on October 4, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SKILLET SIRLOIN

INGREDIENTS

2 pounds boneless top sirloin steaks
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons peanut oil

BROTH MIX

1 medium yellow onion
4 garlic cloves
1 ripe tomato
1/2 cup beef broth
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon coriander
1/2 teaspoon parsley

UTENSIL

electric skillet

PREPARATION

Cut steaks into 8 pieces. (I’m not dogmatic about this number. You must cook to please yourself and your guests. Of course, if you manage to cut 6 3/4 pieces, mathematicians everywhere will want to know how you cut 3/4 of a piece.)

Peel and dice onion and garlic cloves. Peel tomato. (You might find it faster to peel if you boil the tomato for 30 seconds first.) Chop tomato into little bits. Add beef broth, Dijon mustard, Worcestershire sauce, thyme, pepper, coriander, and parsley into mixing bowl. Stir with knife until thoroughly mixed. This is the broth mix.

Set temperature on skillet to 325 degrees. Add olive oil, peanut oil, and sirloin steak to skillet.

Cook for 4 minutes. Turn steak pieces over while stirring the juice. Cook for 2 minutes more. Add broth mix. Cook for 3 minutes. The steak should turn out medium to medium well. Consider checking one of the pieces a few minutes earlier, especially if you prefer rarer steak, as it’s impossible to reverse the cooking process for beef. (Unless, of course, you have a time machine, and go back to where your steak reached its desired doneness. May I suggest, though, if you do have a time machine that you play the stock market or go to the horse races?)

Put steak on plates and evenly ladle the spicy juice over all the pieces.

TIDBITS

1) This tidbit didn’t survive editing.

2) Legend has it that villagers in Transylvania could kill a vampire with a stake through the heart.

3) And tales of the Old West relate many a blood sucking at midnight by flying vampire cows.

3) This is why cowpokes pounded nails into their steaks.

4) This is also the reason drovers put silver bullets in their six shooters.

5) Maybe these stories are tall tales, but maybe brave trailblazers rid the western lands of these blood-sucking bovines.

6) Whatever the reason, there have been no “vampire cow” sightings in San Diego in the last century, for which I am grateful.

7) But just in case, this recipe has 4 cloves of garlic in it.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Garlic Potato Rice Soup

Posted on October 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

French Soup

GARLIC POTATO RICE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1/3 cup rice
2/3 cup water

2 russet potatoes
1 red potatoes
2 garlic cloves
1/3 large yellow onion
1 2/3 cups chicken broth
1/3 cup water
1/3 tablespoon Poultry MagicTM Spice
1/6 teaspoon lemon pepper spice

UTENSIL

potato masher

PREPARATION

Cook rice separately according to instructions on package. While rice is cooking, peel russet and red potatoes. Cut both types of potatoes into eighths. Peel and mince garlic cloves and onions.

Put potato eighths, garlic, onion, chicken broth, water, Poultry Spice, and lemon pepper into large soup pan. Cook at medium-high for about 50 minutes or until all the potato eighths are completely soft. Mash the potatoes constantly until you feel no resistance. (No, there is no masher for human relationships. No. No! I said no.) Stir frequently. Add cooked rice to potato soup.

Supermarket potatoes cost almost the same whether you buy five pounds, two pounds, or just one microwavable tater. So, we all purchase the economical five-pound bag, leaving us with a lot of potatoes. This tasty recipe reduces your spud surplus wonderfully.

TIDBITS

1) The nutritious potato almost single-handedly kept European peasantry alive during the Thirty Years War in the 17th century.

2) Deadly nightshade is related to the potato. Unlike, its cousin, the tater, this plant is a deadly poison.

3) Which is why my recipes never include deadly nightshade.

4) Nor any other poison for that matter.

5) I do, however, use tomatoes frequently. Tomatoes are related to both the potato and deadly nightshade and were considered poisonous by American settlers in the late 17th century.

6) This fear by early colonials of the mighty tomato completely explains the lack of pizza parlors in early America.

7) Salem, Massachusetts became notorious for its Witch Trials of 1692.

8) In 1905, Lombardi’s in New York became the first restaurant licensed to sell pizza.

9) So, the Witch Trials delayed the licensing of American pizza by 213 years.

10) This explains resistance to capital punishment among many chefs.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Powegian Potato Soup From Fortcoming Cookbook

Posted on September 29, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Soup

POWEGIAN POTATO SOUP

INGREDIENTS

2 russet potatoes
2 red potatoes
2 garlic cloves
2 celery stalks
1 tablespoons olive oil
1 10.5 ounce can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 10.5 can filled with water
1/2 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1/2 teaspoon parsley flakes
1/2 teaspoon chives

PREPARATION

Wash and peel all potatoes. (This isn’t all that fun. Do you have a ready source of labor such as a nine-year old boy around?)
Cut potatoes into bits no larger than an inch on any side. Mince potato bits and garlic cloves. Devein celery stalks of those long threads by breaking stalk in half and pulling off exposed silky threads. Minced deveined celery.

Put olive oil in frying pan. Add minced garlic and celery. Saute potato bits, cloves and celery at medium high for about 5 minutes.

Empty condensed cream of chicken into large soup pot. Fill empty cans with water and add to pot. Add minced potato, vegetable spice, parsley, and chives. Cook on medium heat for 5 minutes, then add sauteed garlic and celery. Stir frequently. Cook on warm heat for 55 minutes. Stir every minute or so to prevent burning.

TIDBITS

1) The wild form of celery is smallage.

2) I have trouble visualizing vast open fields filled from horizon to horizon with wild celery.

3) I don’t think settlers who traveled the Oregon Trail during the 1840s came across great vistas of wild celery.

4) Certainly, the Donner Party didn’t.

5) Parties often have celery sticks as appetizers.

6) The modern, party, celery stick was first cultivated in Michigan in 1874.

7) Which means most Americans forgot to celebrate the modern celery stick’s centennial. I know I did.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ham, Cheese, And Potato Casserole

Posted on September 26, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

HAM, CHEESE, AND POTATO CASSEROLE

INGREDIENTS

3 brown or russet potatoes
1 cup cooked ham
1/4 cup grated Cheddar cheese
1/2 cup grated Swiss cheese
1/4 cup grated Four-Mexican cheese
1/2 medium onion
1 cup sour cream
5 ounces condensed cream of celery soup (about 1/2 can)
1/2 green bell pepper
1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1/8 teaspoon thyme
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 tablespoon Parmesan cheese

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Boil 3 potatoes for about 30 minutes.

While potatoes are boiling, cut cooked ham into 1/4-inch cubes. Mince small onion. (If you wish to anthropomorphize the onion, call it, “Jim.”) Dice green bell pepper after scooping out its seeds.

In a large mixing bowl, combine ham, Cheddar cheese, Swiss cheese, Four-Mexican cheese, Jim (the minced onion), sour cream, condensed cream of celery soup, green bell pepper, flour, mayonnaise, butter, salt, meat spice, thyme, and black pepper. Mix by hand or masher.

Peel skin from potatoes. This should be easy after you let the taters sit for a few minutes. Cut potatoes into thin slices.
Add potatoes to ingredients already in mixing bowl. Mix again with fork. Transfer to 9″-round baking or casserole dish. Sprinkle top with Parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 degrees for 60 minutes.

TIDBITS

1) It just doesn’t seem right that “mayonnaise” is spelled with two n’s.

2) French fries are called frites in Holland. When I lived there, you were given a choice of met or zonder, with or without mayonnaise. The mayonnaise was spicy and tasted quite good, the Dutch ketchup not so much.

3) You also couldn’t get root beer in Europe for love or money. Why? Why? Didn’t we save Europe in World War II?

4) And as far as I know, you can’t get European potato chips that aren’t dripping with oil.

5) And don’t even look for good chewing gum.

6) Of course, if you want steak au poivre vert or a good rijstaffel, I heartily recommend going there.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Powegian Tomato-Breakfast Soup

Posted on September 7, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Soup

POWEGIAN TOMATO BREAKFAST SOUP

INGREDIENTS

1/2 white onion
2 garlic cloves
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 8 ounce package pork links
2 10.75 ounce cans condensed tomato soup
2 10.75 ounce cans filled with water
1 14.5 ounce can diced tomatoes
1 4 ounce can diced green chiles
4 eggs
1 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1 cup grated four Mexican cheeses

PREPARATION

Dice onion and garlic cloves. Break pork links into pieces about 1/2-inch long. Melt butter in no-stick or saute pan. Put olive oil, onion, garlic, and pork links into saute pan. Cook for 5 to 10 minutes on medium-high heat or until links are no longer pink and onion starts to brown. Stir frequently.

In the meantime, add condensed tomato soup, the same amount of water, diced tomato, green chiles, eggs, and vegetable spice to a soup pot. Cook on medium-high heat for about 5 to 10 minutes. Stir frequently. (Stir clockwise. Stir counterclockwise. Stir clockwise. Stir counterclockwise. Take up martial arts. Become the next Karate Kid.) Lower temperature to medium. Transfer contents from saute pan and grated cheese to soup pot. Stir occasionally for about 3 minutes.

If you really like this soup, or any other dish in this cookbook, you are only obligated to give each guest one serving. You, the chef, are the only one who knows there is more tasty food still on the stove. Hee hee. Of course, if you are cooking this delight to pave the way to a marriage proposal, you really should consider giving your life long partner-to-be an extra helping.

TIDBITS

1) As far as I know, there have been five versions of the movie, The Karate Kid.

2) The actor, Ralph Macchio, who played the Kid, was 27 years old in the third movie.

3) The Kid was a girl in the fourth movie.

4) The Kid switched back to being a boy in the fifth movie, which took place in China.

5) You cannot just join the Communist Party in China. You have to be invited. Just like to the Masters golf tournament in Augusta, Georgia.

6) I played my only 18-hole golf game the day after a rain storm. The golf balls didn’t roll at all. As soon as they landed after a long drive, they stopped.

7) No fair. If the weather had been fine, I probably could have shaved 75 strokes off my score of 225.

8) Why is it impossible to find a pen in your home?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ice Cream Soda

Posted on September 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

ICE CREAM SODA

INGREDIENTS

1 cup milk
3/4 cup chocolate syrup
3 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream
2 cups seltzer (AKA carbonated water)

UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Add milk, chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream, and seltzer to blender. Set blender to “milkshake” and blend for about 10 seconds only.

Fills 4 large glasses.

This delicious drink should be served to loved ones only. (Lock your doors, close your drapes, and turn off all your lights if mere acquaintances drop by when you make this. If later they comment on these events, look worried and say, “I knew my home was haunted.” They’ll never again ask you for an ice cream soda, if they ever even come by again.)

TIDBITS

1) Soda water can be good for you! If your stomach is empty, drinking soda water once a day helps your body maintain its natural PH.

2) Eating once a day is good for you! However, your stomach will not be empty and tidbit 1) does not apply.

3) Tidbits may or may not be good for you!

4) Soda water is once again good you! Drinking it will combat bacteria causing sore throats and mouth ulcers.

5) Scotch is bad for you! It gives you hangovers and destroys brain cells.

6) Scotch and soda water is good or bad for you.

7) Drinking Scotch and soda while driving is bad for you! Remarkably, the Highway Patrol doesn’t care about Tidbit 4).

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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