cuisine

Chinese Entree

BRAISED PORK BALLS IN SAUCE

INGREDIENTS – PORK BALLS

2 green onions (2 more later)
1¼ pounds ground pork (70%, if possible)
½ teaspoon Chinese five spice or white pepper
½ tablespoon brown sugar
1½ tablespoons cornstarch
1¼ teaspoons minced ginger (¾ teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon soy sauce
6 tablespoons peanut or sesame oil

INGREDIENTS – SAUCE

¾ teaspoon minced ginger
4½ tablespoons soy sauce
1½ tablespoons fish sauce or soy sauce
2 teaspoons Shaoxing wine or dry sherry or sake
2 green onions

SPECIAL UTENSILS

wok or large pan

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION – PORK BALLS

Thinly slice 2 green onions. Add all pork-balls ingredients except peanut oil to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form 8 pork balls with hands. Add peanut oil to wok. Heat oil at medium-high heat until a slice of green onion in the oil starts to dance.

Carefully add pork balls to hot oil. Fry the pork balls for 2 minutes or until pork balls turn golden brown all over. Gently and quickly turn enough to ensure even browning. Cover. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes or until pork balls are no longer pink inside. (You can slice a pork ball slightly open and take a peek.) Turn occasionally to ensure even cooking inside. Use slotted spoon to remove pork balls. Drain on plate covered with paper towel.

PREPARATION – SAUCE

Add all sauce ingredients except 2 green onions to mixing bowl. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add pork balls to serving bowl. Ladle sauce over pork balls. Thinly slice 2 green onions. Garnish with sliced green onions.

TIDBITS

1) Braised Pork Balls In Sauce are round.

2) Electrons are also round. They can be seen with an electron microscope.

3) Electron microscopes are really neat. Where can you get one?

4) First, try CostcoTM. They have everything. However, they tend to sell in bulk. So, you might have to buy four electron microscopes at once. No one needs four such things.

5) So, look for electron microscopes on ebayTM. You might find a good deal. However, you most likely be purchasing a used one. Did the previous owner take good care of it? Will it even work when you receive it in the mail? Do you really want to buy it sight unseen?

6) You can look at everything that Dollar TreeTM carries before buying them. This precaution is essential for making an informed purchase. However, as of press time, the price tag for electron microscope exceeds a dollar. So you’re unlikely to find this gizmo there.

7) I don’t go to swap meets. Thus, I don’t know if you can pick up an electron microscope at one. If you frequent swap meets, please let me know about this.

8) Sometimes you can get a good sofa or desk that are left on the sidewalk in front of someone’s house. The same, however, cannot be said for electron microscope. A friend of mine, took four such abandoned microscopes. Everyone of them proved to be busted. Bummer.

9) But then, who would abandon a perfectly good electron microscope?

10) By the way, what is a synonym for electron microscope? Field emission telescope? Nah. How about Electron View Biggifier (EVB?) That seems more likely. Yeah, we’ll go with EVB.

11) Well then, where can you get an EVB? Okay, you need a really rich EVB hobbyist for a friend. Be sure to drops hints before your birthday.

12) Now a gift on an EVB is really special, no matter how rich your friend. So you really should consider sending her a thank-gift right away. May I suggest giving a fresh batch of homemade chocolate-chip cookies. Everybody loves those.

13) Don’t forget while EVB magnifies electrons, there is no such thing as a Braised Pork Ball microscope to view braised pork balls. All legitimately made pork balls can be seen with the naked eye. Regard with suspicion all microscopic pork balls sold online or by phone call.

14) Above and to the right is an image of the radon atom as seen by my EVB. As you can see, electrons are black.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.