Posts Tagged With: tortillas

Chicken Flautas – 2

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN FLAUTAS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds chicken breasts
2 garlic cloves
1 small onion
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (4 cups more later)
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ pound queso fresco or feta cheese
½ cup salsa
12 uncooked or freshly made corn tortillas*
2 cups vegetable oil (or at least ½” deep)
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
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* = Cooked tortillas from the store require softening in the skillet or microwave. Uncooked tortillas while harder to find, make preparation easier.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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toothpicks
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Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut chicken breasts into parts weighing ½ pound. Add chicken parts and enough water to cover to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 25 minutes or until chicken shreds easily.  Move chicken to plate. Shred chicken using forks.
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While chicken simmers, mince garlic and dice onion. Add garlic, onion, and 2 tablespoons oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Stir frequently. Add shredded chicken and cumin. Stir until well blended. Remove from heat. Add equal amounts of the shredded chicken/onion mixture, queso fresco, and salsa to the middle of each tortilla. Roll up tortillas tightly and pin together with toothpicks. Break off toothpick ends if they stick out more than ¼” or so. (Rolled-up tortillas that have toothpicks that stick out a lot are difficult to turn over when frying.)
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Add oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a tiny piece of the tortillas starts to dance in the oil. Add rolled-up tortillas to pan seem-side down. Sauté at medium-high heat for 4 minutes or until tortillas turn golden brown. (You will probably need to turn the heat down or sauté for less time with succeeding batches.) Turn frequently to ensure even browning. (Be careful of splattering.) Remove from heat. Drain on plate covered with paper towel. Dice cilantro. Garnish with cilantro. Goes well with salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, “The Angler of Vienna,” was also a pretty darn talented musician, writing such toe-tapping operas such as, Il re Pastore, Zaide, Die Entführung aus dem Serail, Le Nozze di Figaro, Don Giovanni, and Cossi Fan Tutte.” By the way, Mozart’s agent, Paolo Fettuccine, arranged for tutti frutti, a new ice cream with chopped and candied fruits in it to be served at Cossi Fan Tutte’s debut. It was a stroke of P.R. genius. Ice cream lovers came for the dessert and stayed for the opera. Wolfgang never looked back, except when on the way to his secret fishing places. But it is in Mozie’s culinary operas where The Angler of Vienna’s talents really shined. Who can fail to be uplifted by his sole English work, The Three Penny Hot Dog? or feel the anguish of Gibt es wirklich keine Apfelkuchen? (Is There Really No Apple Pie?)
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2) The years 1784 – 1787 were his happiest; he had great fishing spots to himself. These interludes of quietude were also the moments of his greatest musical creativity as witnessed by the Fish Cycle operas: Der Kabeljau auf dem Markt (The Cod at the Market), Limone Pesce Impanati (Lemon Breaded Fish), and of course, “The Angler of Vienna’s favorite, Il Mio Punto di Pesca (My Own Fishing Spot.)
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3) It’s ironic that Mozart, a famous fan of German cuisine, would write his greatest opera about Mexican food. But who could not be inspired by the brilliant cuisine of Vienna’s famous restaurant, Los Cinco Tacos? Wolfang tried the restaurant’s chicken flautas and fell in love with them. He would stay up all night to compose the brilliant, brilliant I say, opera, Las Flautas Mágicas (The Magic Flautas.) Unfortunately, the politics of that year dictated that no operas be performed in Spanish. (Do try to see it if it’s being performed nearby.) Broken hearted that he was, Mozart rewrote his opus. And so we have the not too shabby Die Zauberflöte (The Magic Flute.) But Mozart would never again write about Mexican food.
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4) Then on December 5, 1791, Mozart’s muse, Ernestine, imparted to him the idea of writing the opera Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch, (Puff the Magic Pufferfish.) So strong was Mozie’s excitement over what he knew what would be his magnum opus that he grabbed his fishing pole and raced to Danube River. He continually glanced over his shoulders to see if anyone were following, for all the local anglers would descend on him en masse and fish and fish out his little side pond. It was heartbreaking. Mozart had to scrap one seafood opera after another because he couldn’t bring in enough fish to give a true, abiding sense of its flavor and abiding soul. On one occasion, competitors once fished all the trout from his special inlet. This is why we never got to hear Guten Morgen, Forelle (Good Morning, Trout) and had to settle for the markedly inferior, Don Giovanni.
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5) Anyway, Mozie eluded all anglers that day and caught six pufferfish. (1791 was an extraordinarily bountiful year for Viennese pufferfish.) Wolfie scurried home as fast as his chubby little legs would carry him. He cooked all the fish. Unfortunately, he died. For while his wiener schnitzel was second to none, he didn’t know how beans about preparing the potentially fatal pufferfish. His last words were, “Gott im Himmel, where are my car keys?” There were, of course, no cars in 1791 and so no need for car keys. Culinary historians Mozart had channeling the frustration of millions upon millions of people two centuries later.But Wolfgang’s musical vision for the pufferfish lasted through the centuries floating through the atmosphere until it found a suitable vessel, a worthy receptacle. This is how we got the classic song, “Puff the Magic Dragon” by Peter, Paul, and Mary. Sure the name and length of Stoßen der magische Kugelfisch changed  a bit, but that magnum-opus had been floating around for centuries and became susceptible to modern musical scenes. And there you go.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mixtas (hot dogs)

Guatemalan Entree

Mixtas

(hot dogs)

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INGREDIENTS – GUACAMOLE
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3 avocados
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro (1½ tablespoons more later)
1 serrano chile (1 more later)
2 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ red onion (¼ more later)
¼ teaspoon salt (¼ teaspoon more later)
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INGREDIENTS – CHIRMOL
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1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro
¼ red onion
2 Roma tomatoes
1 serrano chile
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ teaspoon salt
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INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
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8 corn tortillas (Use fresh tortillas or ones from just opened package. Should be as wide as the sausages are long)
8 sausages* or hot dogs
1 cup shredded red cabbage
mustard from squeezable bottle
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* = Guatemalan longanizas or chorizos are traditional. However, they’re difficult to find. If so, use any longanizas or chorizos. Or simply white sausages or hot dogs. Use your sonic obliterator on any guest who gives you guff about the sausages you use.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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potato masher
sonic obliterator
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Serves 8. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – GUACAMOLE
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Peel and remove pit from avocados. Dice 1 tablespoon cilantro. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Dice ¼ red onion. Add avocados to 1st mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher until avocado becomes creamy. Add all other guacamole ingredients. Mix with fork until completely blended.
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PREPARATION – CHIRMOL
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Dice 1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro and ¼ red onion. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Use medium heat to heat pan for 30 seconds. Add Roma tomatoes. Cook Roma tomatoes for 8 minutes, turning them slowly or until they char on all sides.
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Add charred Roma tomatoes to 2nd mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher or fork until tomatoes become thoroughly mashed. Add all other chirmol ingredients. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
­Add sausages to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Boil for 5 minutes.. While sausages boil, warm tortillas in pan, using low-medium heat. Put sausage in the middle of tortilla. Place guacamole on one side of sausage and shredded red cabbage on the other. Top with chirmol. Make a squiggle of mustard across the chirmol
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TIDBITS
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1) The American declared their independence in 1776 because they detested British taxation without representation. The former colonists had also developed their own, distinct way of doing things. One example of the American spirit was their devotion to the proto-saxophone. Indeed Josiah Parnell and his big band, The Revolutionaries, entertained the Continental Army between battles and marches. General George Washington would later say, “Many times in the great struggle, our despondent soldiers would have deserted in droves but for the peppy music of The Revolutionaries.”
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2) Foreign powers everywhere took this notion to heart. If you let the fractious natives indulge in proto-saxophone chamber music and big-band marches, they will mount a successful war of independence.
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3) Indeed Pablo Tiul charmed large crowds of peasants with his swinging proto-sax. They hung on every note. He even had scores of groupies. At first, the oppressive Spanish governor tolerated Tiul’s tunes at first. But as the spring of 1821 progressed, the mood of the populace grew ever more restless. Why did the peasant restlessness burgeon? Well, because the Spanish governor oppressed them. Tiul’s tunes took on harsher notes. Crowds shouted, “Los españoles se van a casa,” after every concert. But the Spanish didn’t go home. Instead, the Governor sent troops to confiscate Senor Tiul’s proto-saxophone. The crowd erupted with fury, calling the soldiers all sorts of hurtful names.
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4) The very next day, the leaders of all the peasant villages gathered in Tiul’s hamlet for Guatemalan hot dogs, as who would not? What shall we call this hot dog? “Why not, ‘Mi T,” said someone. (My T, where T is the first letter of Pablo’s last name.)
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5) “Let’s add “sax” to it,” said Maria Escuela, “make it Mitsax.” People applauded this idea. The naming of the hot dog settled, the assembly soon declared independence. Unfortunately, a typo in the independence posters changed “Mitsax” to “Mixtas.” Guatemala would so be free. Free from oppression, free to love saxophones and mixtas. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tostada Shells

Mexican Appetizer

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TOSTADA SHELLS

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INGREDIENTS
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6 corn tortillas
1½ tablespoon olive oil (½ teaspoon on each tortilla side)
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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baking sheet
aluminum foil or parchment paper
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Serves 6. Takes 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line baking sheet with foil Place tortillas on foil so that they don’t touch each other. Use brush to spread ½ teaspoon olive oil on each tortilla side. Bake for 7 minutes at 400 degrees. Flip tortillas. (Be careful.) Bake for another 7 minutes or until tortillas become crispy like a tortilla chip.
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Remove from heat and cool on plate cover with paper towel.
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TIDBITS
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1) Tostada is an anagram for DA toast. Because district attorneys everywhere have loved tostadas, as who does not? However, DAs have an especially deep and abiding love for tostadas that transcends national boundaries and the centuries. If you wish, I can direct you to volumes of research by culinary lawyers.
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2) The tostada craze first infected jurisprudence when in 1920 Pablo Erickson bribed a Manhattan DA to mount a particularly feeble prosecution. Of course, Mr. Erickson was as a guilty as sin, but he was a great chef. (All Mexican-Swedish chefs are. It’s in their blood.) Anyway Chef Erickson served a tostada to the DA each and every day of the trial. Of course, the jury acquitted Pablo. However, this decision astounded the nation. Newspaper headlines screamed, PABLO ACQUITTED IN ERICKSON v GOODNESS.
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3) Hardened criminals took note and bribed DAs everywhere. Our streets teemed with ruffians and bad eggs. The height of our judicial system illness occurred from 1920 to 1933. How do we not know this? Because the Great Tostada Corruption (GTC) coincided rather closely with Prohibition. Sure, GTC and Prohibition spawned corruption, but the bootleggers also emphasized violence. Illegal tostadas simply could not compete with hooch for newspapers headlines. Now you know why DA never let people take their pictures while they are eating a tostada.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Toasted Rice-and-Bean Burrito

Mexican Entree

TOASTED RICE-AND-BEAN BURRITO

INGREDIENTS

¼ medium onion
½ red bell pepper
1 avocado
¾ cup rice
1½ cups water
1 15-ounce cans pinto beans with jalapeno peppers
1 7-ounce can diced tomatoes
2 ounces Cotija cheese
¼ cup sour cream
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon onion powder
½ cup grated Four Mexican Cheeses
8 medium flour tortillas
8 teaspoons Parmesan cheese
4 slices Swiss cheese

 

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Dice onion and bell pepper. Peel avocado, remove pit, and slice the good part into thin slices. Cut each Swiss cheese slice into 3 strips.

Cook the rice according to instructions shown on bag. (Unless, of course the instructions are in a foreign language. In this horrible case, take the appropriate intensive three-minute foreign language course.) If you are fortunate to own a rice maker, follow its instructions. (If you don’t own a rice maker, ask for one for Christmas. Make gentle hints as well for a gun to protect the first gift from increasingly desperate gangs of rice-maker thieves.)

While rice is cooking, drain water from pinto beans and diced tomatoes. Add onion, bell pepper, pinto beans, diced tomatoes, Mexican cheeses, Cotija cheese, sour cream, cumin, and onion powder to large frying pan. Cook on low-to-medium heat. Stir occasionally. (Unless, of course you are a hibernating polar bear, then just chill.)

When rice is ready, add it to frying pan. Stir. Put about 4 tablespoons of frying-pan mixture in lower-center part of tortilla. Fold edges in and roll up from the bottom. Spray cookie sheet with no-stick spray. Put burrito on cookie sheet with folded side down. Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top of burrito.

Put cookie sheet with burritos on it in pre-heated oven. Bake for 10 minutes, or until tortilla or most of the Parmesan cheese is turning golden brown.

Remove cookie sheet from oven and cover the top of each burrito with thin avocado slices. Add a half slice of Swiss cheese on top of each burrito. Bake for 2 minutes or until the Swiss cheese turns brown or begins to melt.

TIDBITS

1) Avocado comes from a Native American word meaning “testicle.” Apparently, they thought avocados looked liked that. My Gosh, these early Americans must really have bulged in their loincloths.

2) Rocky Mountain Oysters are beef testicles. Yuck. Who would eat them? Deliberately?

3) Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company is, not surprisingly, famous for its chocolate.

4) Chocolate has been confirmed to have a slight–-slight means slight, guys-–effect on women. This is why, over the decades, men have given women chocolate when going on dates.

5) And if the woman refuses the chocolate, it wasn’t meant to be and the man has something to eat.

6) But, at least, the man has much higher chance of success with his date if he offers chocolate instead of Rocky Mountain Oysters.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Carl La Fong’s Cooking Mishap #1, Quesadilla

The sticker says, “Two tortillas.”

I like to cook. So does my friend, Carl La Fong*. Although a really good cook, Carl occasionally makes mistakes. Sometimes they’re doozies. In the spirit of helping fledgling chefs, he’s agreed to share his mistakes.

Carl started off well. He sprayed the top and bottom of the quesadilla maker**. He put a flour tortilla on the bottom of the grill. He topped the tortilla with avocado salsa, diced chiles, and a generous amount of grated Mexican cheeses. He closed the lid. The quesadilla maker started cooking.

“You know,” Carl said, “in retrospect, I should have placed a second flour tortilla on top of the fixings. The modern mind cannot comprehend the mess made by leaving that ingredient out. Fortunately, I worked quickly and cleaned the quesadilla maker is just a scant hour. In my defense, I was pondering the clauses in the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia. It can happen to anyone.”

Carl says, “Hi” and invites you to share your friends’ cooking mishaps. He als

* =No, Carl La Fong is not my alter ego. Why do you ask?
** = Doesn’t the quesadilla maker look like a space alien?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Indio Viejo From Nicaragua

Nicaraguan Entree

INDIO VIEJO

INGREDIENTS

1 green bell pepper (1 more later)
10 garlic cloves
2 pounds skirt steak, flank steak, chuck, or chicken breast
1 onion (2 more later)
1 green bell pepper
2 onions
5 tomatoes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2⅓ cups masa harina or 12 corn tortillas
3 tablespoons sour orange juice or lemon juice
1 teaspoon achiote powder or sweet paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons fresh mint, spearmint, or cilantro

SPECIAL UTENSIL

sonic obliterator

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 50 minutes.

PREPARATION

Seed 1 green bell peppers. Cut each garlic clove into four pieces. Add meat, garlic cloves, 1 green bell pepper, 1 onion, and enough water to cover to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat . Reduce heat to low and simmer for 1 hour 30 minutes or until meat is tender to the fork. Strain and reserve meat/garlic/bell pepper/onion. Save broth.

30 minutes before meat should be tender, seed 1 green bell pepper. Dice 1 green bell pepper, 2 onions, and tomatoes. Add diced bell pepper, onion, tomatoes, and vegetable oil to large pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until bell pepper and onion soften. Add reserved meat/garlic/bell pepper mix, masa harina, sour orange juice, achiote, pepper, and salt. Stir constantly while adding enough reserved broth it obtains the consistency of a thick stew. Simmer on low for 10 minutes or until there are no flour lumps. Stir constantly. Dice mint. Garnish with mint. Use sonic obliterator on guests, who after you’ve cooked for three hours, complain that this dish would go well with rice or fried plantains.

TIDBITS

1) Your kitchen needs a sonic obliterator, like the one here. Buy one now.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., travel guru

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Slow Cooker Tacos Barbacoa

Mexican Entree

SLOW COOKER TACOS BARBACOA

INGREDIENTS – MARINADE

2 ancho chiles, dried or fresh
1 chipotle chile from can. (Keep 2 tablespoons of the can’s liquid)
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon coriander
2 teaspoons epazote or oregano
4 garlic cloves
1 teaspoon salt (1 teaspoon more later)
1¾ cups water
1 tablespoon vinegar

INGREDIENTS – LAMB

3 pounds boneless lamb parts*
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 large bananas leaf or 3 avocado leaves**
2 cups bone broth, beef broth, or water

INGREDIENTS – GARNISH

1 medium onion
⅓ cup fresh cilantro
2 tablespoons lime juice
12 8″-flour tortillas

* = Beef is the most popular meat for this in Mexico. Goat is also popular. Regions in Mexico usually have a strong preference. But NO ground meat.
** = Bananas leaves and avocado leaves are mighty hard to find outside of Mexican or Asian supermarkets. If you cannot find them, use cornhusks, parchment paper, or tin foil as a substitute. Leaf or leaves should be able to cover the width of the slow cooker.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor or blender
slow cooker
serving platter

Serves 6. Takes 9 hours 40 minutes.

PREPARATION – MARINADE

Remove stem and seeds from ancho and chipotle chile. Add all marinade ingredients to food processor. Puree in food processor.

PREPARATION – LAMB

Rub salt onto lamb. Cut lamb into as many pieces necessary to fit them in a slow cooker. Add oil to pan. Heat oil at high heat until it starts to ripple. Carefully, carefully add lamb pieces. Sauté lamb at high heat until all sides are well seared or you get a dark-brown crust on the lamb. Turn over to sear the other side of the meat.

Wrap lamb with banana leaf. Add wrapped lamb and marinade to slow cooker. Ladle broth over banana-leaf wrapped lamb. Set slow cooker and high and cook for 9 hours or until lamb becomes fall-apart tender. Shred lamb with forks. Keep liquid.

PREPARATION – FINAL

While lamb cooks, dice cilantro. Thinly slice onion. Cover serving platter with banana leaf. Place shredded lamb on banana leaf. Ladle juice from slow cooker over lamb. Sprinkle with lime juice. Warm tortillas by placing on pan with the heat set at medium. Remove as soon as they get warm. Or microwave tortillas for 10 seconds. Fill tortillas with lamb. Garnish with cilantro and onion. Goes well with with green salsa.

TIDBITS

1) The stars in our universe exhibit a red shift. That’s because they’re moving away from us. This observed red shift in our celestial orbs gave rise to the Big Bang Theory. The color red makes objects move things move from other things. For example, forest fires are red. Forest fires move away from their starting points.

2) Red picnic-table cloths, left unchecked, would move themselves away from the picnic table. This is why people have potlucks. The plates laden with potato salads, hot dogs, and corn on the cob provide enough weight to counteract the Moving Away Force (MAF) on the red table cloths.

3) The Germans experimented with red tablecloths in World War II. They hoped their table cloths would move away from the ground and into the path of Allied bombers. The red objects, however, moved away from the bombers as well. These Nazi tablecloths still continue outward trek. Look for them in the Asteroid Belt, if you have a powerful enough telescope.

4) Naturally, other red objects such as plates exhibit MAF. A totally red plate would leap off the kitchen table and crash through a window in a quest to join its brethren in the Asteroid Belt. Plates with only a tiny bit of red in them display a tiny MAF. (See above picture.) Such plates require only a little bit of food to keep them in place.

5) Of course, blue objects show Moving Toward Force (MTF.) This is why so many people end up wearing blue shirts. To be safe, you really should avoid blue and red altogether. If, however, you must use these colors, for Pete’s sake, you them in equal amounts. (See above picture again.)

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tacos Al Pastor

Mexican Entree

TACOS AL PASTOR

INGREDIENTS – MARINADE

1 ancho chile
4 guajillo chiles
4 garlic cloves
3 cloves
1 small onion (1 more onion later)
1 large tomato
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano or oregano
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
½ cup orange juice
⅔ cup pineapple juice*
2¼ pounds pork loin

INGREDIENTS – REST

1 can diced pineapple (*You can use the pineapple juice from the can)
1 cup fresh cilantro
1 small onion
5 limes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (½ teaspoon at a time)
12 -to-24 corn tortillas*
1 cup pico de gallo
1 cup guacamole

* = If you like to put a lot of food in your tacos or if your tortillas are a bit on the crumbly side, then use 2 tortillas for each taco.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor
6 metal skewers
drip pan

Serves 6. Takes 5 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – MARINADE

Add ancho chile and guajillo chiles to pot. Cover with water. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to medium. Boil for 10 minutes or until chiles soften. Seed chiles. Add chiles and remaining marinade ingredients save pork loin to food processor. Blend until you get a smooth marinade. Add marinade and pork loin to large bowl. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

PREPARATION – REST

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut pork loin into ½” thick slices. Cut slices into 1″ squares. Alternate threading pork squares and pineapple pieces onto skewers. Place on oven rack. Place oven pan underneath to collect drippings. Cook for 12 minutes or until pork is no longer pink inside. Turn every 4 minutes.

Dice cilantro and 1 small onion. Cut limes into 4 wedges each. Add 1 tortilla and ½ teaspoon oil to pan. Sauté at medium heat just long enough to warm tortilla. Flip tortilla once. Repeat for remaining tortillas.

Make tacos by filling tortillas with pork squares and pineapple pieces. Garnish tacos with cilantro, diced onion, and lime wedges. Serve tacos immediately alongside bowls of pico de gallo and guacamole.

TIDBITS

1) Pastor Alfonso Hernandez was a itinerant preacher who wandered the Pacific Coast from Seattle to Acapulco. He preached the word of God to whomever would listen. Sometimes he enthralled large crowds. Other times just one person would hear him out. His sermons brought peace beyond understanding to all his listeners.

2) Random acts of kindness would brake out after he left. These people felt grateful for the love he showed them. “Please take some money, your words moved me,” they’d say. He’d always reply, “I can take no money for those aren’t my words. I only borrow them.”

3) The good people would then say, “But you look hungry. Have some food.” The good man accepted their offerings, for he was indeed hungry. Sometimes his listeners gave him ancho chiles. Sometimes he received guajillos chiles. He even accepted garlic cloves. After preaching to an assembly of eight, they might even offer him onion, tomatoes, and cumin.

4) An even larger gathering might present him with Mexican oregano, paprika, pepper, and pepper to spice up his tomatoes. After getting all these spices, the holy man was especially grateful for orange juice to drink. The good people of Ensenada gave him pineapple juice and pork butt. Sometimes, the religious throngs gave him too much to consume at any one time. Whenever this occurred, he’d put the surplus in his coat of many pockets.

5) After ministering to the faithful at Acapulco, the many wealthy Catholics showered him with: diced pineapple, fresh cilantro, small onions, limes, vegetable oil (½ teaspoon at a time), corn tortillas, pico de gallo, and guacamole. This was, too much for any one man to eat. So he shared all the bounty he’d received that day. He then brought forth from all his pockets all the food and spices he’d been accumulating on his travels. “Why,” Pastor Al said, we have enough for a feast of tacos.”

6) “Gracias,” shouted the happy people, “for the tacos from Pastor Al’s coat!” Since the inhabitants of Acapulco were incurable anagramists, this wonderful culinary creation would soon be known forever as Tacos al Pastor.

7) Olé.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Chilaquiles

Mexican Breakfast

CHILAQUILES

INGREDIENTS

3 serrano chiles
2 tomatoes
1 green bell pepper
1 small onion
18 corn tortillas
1 cup vegetable oil
4 eggs
1 cup shredded Oaxaca or Monterrey Jack cheese
¼ cup sour cream

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor
8″ casserole

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Seed chiles. (Or leave seeds in for a spicier entree. Add chiles and tomatoes to food processor. Blend until tomatoes are pureed. Dice bell pepper. Mince onion. Cut each tortillas into 8 pieces.

Add oil to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a little piece of tortilla in the oil starts to dance. Add tortilla pieces. Sauté for 12 minutes or until tortilla become crispy, but not burnt. Stir frequently. Remove tortillas pieces and place them on plates covered with paper towels. Add bell pepper and onion to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes on medium-high heat or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Remove bell pepper/onion mix. Add eggs to pan. Reduce heat to medium and scramble eggs until they are done to your liking.

Add ⅓ of tortilla to casserole dish, then ⅓ bell pepper/onion, followed by ⅓ egg to casserole. Smooth after each layer. Repeat 2 more times. Pour serrano chile/tomato puree over everything. Sprinkle cheese on top. Bake in oven at 350 degrees for 5 minutes or until cheese melts. Remove from over and spoon sour cream evenly over everything.

TIDBITS

1) “Chilaquiles” is an anagram of “Ah, ice quills.” Unlike their American cousins, Greenlandic porcupines have quills made from ice. These northern critters are also stupendously tasty. This is why Eskimo porcupine-hunters exclaim, “Ah ice quills,” whenever they come across ice quill remnants. And of course, it was but a matter of time before vibrant Greenlandic/Mexican chef community transformed porcupine stew into chilaquiles. Ah ice quills, indeed.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lahmajoon (Armenian Pizza)

Armenian Entree

LAHMAJOON
(Armenian Pizza)

INGREDIENTSlahmajoon

1 green bell pepper
1 garlic clove
1 medium onion
2 Roma tomatoes
1 pound ground lamb, beef, or combination
6 ounces tomato paste
¼ teaspoon cayenne
½ teaspoon cumin
¾ teaspoon mint
2 tablespoons parsley
⅛ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
8 6″-to-8″ flour tortillas
no-stick spray

Makes 8 small pizzas. Takes 40 minutes. In fine restaurants and art galleries everywhere.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 cookie sheets

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Seed bell pepper. Mince bell pepper, garlic, and onion. Dice tomatoes. Add all ingredients except tortillas to large mixing bowl. Mix ingredients by hand until well blended. Spread mix thinly over tortillas Spray cookie sheet with no-stick. Add tortillas to cookie sheet. Bake at 400 degrees for 12 minutes or until lamb and the edges of the tortillas turn brown. (Don’t let tortillas hang over the edge of the cookie sheet or the juice from the meat will drip and your stove will get icky.)

TIDBITS

1) On July 4, 1962, aspiring artist, John A. Lmao ran to the Ferus Gallery, boxed lahmajoon in one hand and his painting of Washington crossing the Delaware in the other.

2) As Lmao scurried through the gallery to hang his conventional, patriotic painting, he tripped over the foot of Andy Warhol. Lmao’s lahmajoon soared across the room and hung meat-sauce side out on the nail meant for his patriotic painting. The gallery’s crowd oohed and aahed over Lmao’s lahmajoon. What a bold statement about the commercialization of American culture. Right there and then, the American pop-art scene was born. The entranced Andy Warhol gave up his career as a commercial artist to purse this new genre, rather more successfully than Lmao in fact.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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