Posts Tagged With: Poway

I Invite President Obama To Dine With Me After His Inauguration

PresObam

B&Ctastyauthor

Despite having run against him last November on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket, President Obama and his staff have been besieging me with requests to hold a celebration, in my fair city of Poway, in honor of his inauguration. This perplexes me for I had a standing invitation for our nation’s leader to come to my house for dinner.

In the spirit of letting bygones be bygones, I am reissuing my invitation to President
Obama to dine at my house on the day on the inauguration. Sure, I know he’ll be busy most of the day getting sworn in and what not. But after all that hoopla, Mr. President, please hop on Air Force 1 and fly over here for a feast worthy of your great day.

Not only will there be great food and all the near beer you can drink, but we strategize our plans for this great nation. After all, isn’t a capital idea to be on good term with the Bacon & Chocolate Party after it picks up seat after seat in the Congressional elections of 2014?

I’ll leave the porch light on for you.

Sincerely.

Paul R. De Lancey
Presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Beef Enchiladas

Mexican Entree

BEEF ENCHILADAS

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1 fresh green chile
2 teaspoons fresh cilantro (4 tablespoons more later)
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil (1/2 tablespoon more later)
1 16 ounce can enchilada sauce-red
1 14.5 ounce can Mexican-style diced tomatoes.
4 tablespoons parsley
1/2 tablespoon basil

FILLINGS INGREDIENTS

1 jalapeno pepper
1 medium onion
2 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 pound ground beef
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
5 ounces Cotija cheese
1 1/4 cups grated Monterey Jack cheese

OTHER INGREDIENTS

12 corn tortillas (You might want more in case some fall apart)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
no-stick cooking spray

You might need two baking dishes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use no-stick cooking spray on baking dish.

PREPARATION OF SAUCE

Remove seeds from green chile. Dice green chile and 2 teaspoons cilantro. Add green chile and vegetable oil to saucepan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until green chile is soft. Add red enchilada sauce, diced tomatoes, cilantro, parsley, and basil. Simmer on warm heat and stir for 5 minutes. Set aside.

PREPARATION OF FILLING

Remove seeds from jalapeno. Dice jalapeno pepper, onion garlic cloves, and 4 tablespoons cilantro. Combine jalapeno, onion, garlic, and cilantro by hand with ground beef, and cumin. Cook and stir pepper/onion/beef mixture on medium-to-high heat until beef turns color. Add Cotija and Monterey Jack cheese. Cook until cheeses melt.

PREPARATION OF TORTILLAS

Heat the tortillas for about 20 seconds in a microwave to make them easier to roll. Pour enough oil to cover just the bottom of the saucepan. Put the pan on the BACK BURNER. USING TONGS, dip one tortilla at a time quickly in the hot oil. If the tortilla spends too much time in the oil or if you take too long to put it on a plate, the oil-dripping tortilla will fall apart; have extras until you get the hang of it.

(Try to keep up with the cleaning as you prepare the food lest your guests call the bomb squad upon arrival. Being a suspected terrorist is a true resume stain.)

FINAL PREPARATION

Add about 1/12 of the fillings’ ingredients. Roll each tortilla and put it against the side of the baking dish or as close to another rolled tortilla as possible.

Pour the sauce evenly over the tortillas. Sprinkle any remaining ingredients on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until any cheese on top bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) I have been assuming that people’s stoves measure temperature in Fahrenheit. If your stove’s temperature dial is in Kelvin, then please use the following conversion. K = (5/9)*F + 256, where K is temperature in Kelvin and F is in Fahrenheit.

2) Some people assume that enchiladas only have cheese in them. So it’s a good idea to tell people this dish has meat in it, particularly if you think they might be vegetarian.

3) Mexican cuisine is quite friendly to vegetarians.

4) A distant relative of mine, Emperor Napoleon III of France, tried to conquer Mexico in the 1860s. I had nothing to do with this venture. I wasn’t even born.

5) The price of tortillas is regulated in Mexico. The price of bread is regulated in France. The French authorities still greatly fear riots and revolutions arising from rapid increases in the price of bread. Presumably, the Mexican government feels the same way and if it ever asks me to the Presidential Palace for dinner, I will ask about this.

6) If the Mexican president ever asks me over for dinner, I shall return the favor and ask him over to my home in Poway for some really good eats.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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I Again Invite Fidel Castro Over For Dinner

A year ago, I offered Fidel Castro a retirement dinner to celebrate stepping down  as the ruler of Cuba after about only 52 years. I, the Powegian Chef, offered it to him at my humble home. Did he RSVP? Heck no? So, I’m offering one last time. What about it Fidel? I offered President Obama a dinner at my home. He didn’t bother to reply either. What happened? I’m running against him on the Bacon & Chocolate Party. All polls that I follow show B&C’s popularity surging, carrying me into the White House in November. So I suggest your RSVP “yes.” After all biting into a sandwich with hidden lutefisk in it fills the eater with severe depression. Just saying.

So, Fidel, do you like Swedish cuisine? My grandmother was from Sweden and passed on a great, authentic recipe. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich, Cuban stuffed peppers? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.

We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. Sorry, no post-prandial cigars at this home, but wouldn’t you really rather have a peanut-butter milkshake?

We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.

And my wife could shave off your unruly beard. She’s really good.

C’mon over Fidel, we’ll treat you right.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Machaca Burrito

Mexican Entree

MACHACA BURRITO
(Allow 2 to 8 hours to prepare.)

INGREDIENTS

MARINADE

1/2 tablespoon soy sauce
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 garlic cloves
1/2 serrano chile
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon coriander
1/8 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
2 teaspoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

COOKING THE MEAT

1 1/2 pounds skirt steak (Use flap steak if your butcher doesn’t have skirt steak. Don’t let your sweetheart catch you chasing skirt around town.)

1/2 onion
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1 serrano chiles
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup beef broth
1 7 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/8 teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

ASSEMBLY

5 large flour tortillas
5 tablespoons sour cream
2 1/2 tablespoons salsa
5 lime wedges
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh cilantro

PREPARATION

This is a dish that proves your dedication as a chef. Lots of ingredients and preparation, but lots of prestige as well. Go for it! Excelsior.

MARINATING STAGE (to be done up to 8 hours before cooking, if you have the time. This will improve the taste.)

Cut the skirt steak into 3 1-pound pieces; this is the traditional way. (The Powegian way is to immediately cut the steak into strips 1/2-inch wide by about 2-inches long. We Powegians have always been culinary rebels.) Mince the garlic cloves. Remove the stem and seeds, and insides of the serrano chiles. Mince the remaining outside of the chiles.

Combine the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, water, lime juice, garlic, serrano chile, salt, coriander, meat spice, peanut oil, and vegetable oil in big mixing bowl. Put the steak strips in the bowl of marinade. Be sure to thoroughly coat each strip. If you can, completely seal the mixing bowl with a plastic wrap cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours. (Omigosh, are you late for work? Run!)

COOKING STAGE (Takes at least 2 hours. Did you call in sick so you could make this dish?)

Meanwhile back at the range things are heating up. (Once again employment makes the marinating stage pass quickly. That’s why we go to work.) Dice the onion, red pepper, green pepper, and outsides of two serrano peppers.

Coat the bottom of a large pot with 4 tablespoons vegetable oil. Cook it at medium-heat until hot. Gradually add and sear strips of steak. (Searing means to quickly cook the surfaces of a piece of meat so that it will retain juices in later, slower cooking.) Put seared steak strips aside on a platter. Leave the liquid and any tiny bits of steak in pot for next stage. Don’t throw away flavor!

Add onion, red pepper, green pepper, and serrano peppers to same pan. Saute for 5 minutes. Add beef broth, tomatoes, oregano, cumin, salt, and pepper. Mix thoroughly. Add the marinated meat strips and juice to the pot. Heat at medium-high heat until it boils. (Kick out of the kitchen anyone who disagrees with your definition of boiling. You are the chef. You know.) Cover the pot and simmer for 2 hours.

If your skirt steak is still in three pieces, let it cool down on a cutting board. Now, using two forks or your fingers, shred the meat. Put the shredded steak back in the pot. Stir thoroughly and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. (Unless, you prefer the Powegian style where the excess juice makes an excellent soup. Ah, Poway!)

ASSEMBLY STAGE

Warm the tortillas in a microwave. Put about 4 tablespoons steak mixture in the center top of the tortilla. Add, if desired, a tablespoon sour cream, a 1/2 tablespoon salsa, and a 1/2 teaspoon of diced cilantro. Take a lime wedge and squirt lime juice on top of the meat.

Fold in the tortilla’s two sides until they touch. Roll from the top of the tortilla down. Repeat this process 10 times and you will have 10 machaca burritos. And if you did recipe the Powegian way, you will have machaca soup as well. Olé.

TIDBITS

1) All recipes demand fresh ingredients such as fresh cilantro. But let’s face it, there WILL be times when you find your blood pressure soaring as you need to go back to the store for the 32nd time for another missing, fresh ingredient. Or worse, your sweetheart has gone shopping for those 31 times and is muttering about going to Home Depot to buy a stainless steel Lizzie BordenTM ax. In moments such as these, it is best to take a more relaxed view of cooking and reach for that small bottle of dried parsley.

2) Just remember one amount of a dried spice usually equals three amounts of fresh spice. This one bit of culinary knowledge has saved countless marriages and lives.

3) It’s also a good idea to scan each recipe all the way through for key words such as “marinade for 8 hours” or “simmer for 2 hours” and allot at least 10 hours for cooking. Do not, do not, try to butter your boss up for a raise with this dish and expect to start cooking an hour before dinner time.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Poway, Vacation Getaway – A Loving Poem

Poway, Vacation Getaway

Oh Poway! Oh Poway!
You’re such a vacation wowie.
You beat the pants off Maui.
With Your Lake Poway.

Paris just can’t compare
With our Old Poway Fare
Not even on a dare
Would I go over there.

Italy with its many grand plazas
Or Sinai with its teeming Gaza
Can’t beat Taco Bell’s enchilada.
For me, I’ll have Poway or nada.

Why go to Nice with its weather fair
Or to Moscow for a Russian bear?
Come to Poway, mon frère.
Enjoy our constant street repair

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Powegian Peanut Noodle Soup

American Soup

POWEGIAN PEANUT NOODLE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

3 chicken frankfurters
2 10.5 ounce cans condensed chicken noodle soup
2 10.5 ounce cans filled with water
1/2 cup creamy peanut butter
1 tablespoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
3 eggs

PREPARATION

Chop frankfurters into pieces about 1/2-inch long. Pour condensed chicken noodle soup into soup pot along with the same amount of water. Add peanut butter, sesame oil, and poultry spice.

Peanut butter is sticky. It sticks to the roof of your mouth and to your measuring cups. You can overcome this vexing property by coating your measuring cup with a thin layer of vegetable oil before measuring. The oil should make the peanut butter slide easily out of the measuring cup and into the pot. If only all of life’s problems were so easily solved.

Cook soup for about 5 minutes on medium-high, stirring occasionally. Add eggs. Increase heat to high until soup boils. Stir frequently until eggs are cooked to your liking.

Keep cookbook open by placing soup  can in the space below.

TIDBITS

1) One of my favorite restaurants from my boyhood is The North Woods Inn near my boyhood home in Arcadia. The owners encouraged their customers to throw their peanut shells on the floor.

2) The restaurant still exists. It took awhile to convince my two sons that such activity was okay and that they were not taking part in a rumble by doing so. After all, such behavior was not tolerated at home.

3) After awhile, they warmed to the idea and soon peanut shells flew in every direction. And so, a fond childhood memory got passed onto the next generation.

4) Aren’t these tidbits more interesting than the “fun fact” I found online that the peanut is not a nut, but a legume related to lentils and beans.

5) Another “fun fact” is that peanuts are an excellent source of folate.

6) Oh, the excitement! I can’t go on.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Greek Hamburgers

Greek Entree

GREEK HAMBURGER

INGREDIENTS

3/4 pounds ground beef
2 tablespoons feta cheese
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon parsley
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1/3 cup bread crumbs

1/4 cucumber
1/4 cup mayonnaise
1/4 cup plain yogurt
1 garlic clove

4 hamburger buns

PREPARATION

Crumble the feta cheese. Mix beef, cheese, oregano, parsley, pepper, salt, egg, and bread crumbs. Make four patties. Cook on grill until meat is no longer pink.

Mince cucumber and garlic clove and add to yogurt and mayonnaise. Mix with whisk to make sauce.

Toast the hamburger buns. Put patties in buns. Top patties with sauce. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) As far as I know, Greek hamburgers might be an invention of Greek Americans.

2) Florida leads America in cucumber production.

3) Cucumbers are 95 percent water.

4) Feta is a bad word in Western Sweden.

5) Garlic gloves hung around the neck are supposed to ward off vampires. We have no vampires in Poway, California, so I don’t wear them.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Pow-Mex Chicken Noodle Soup

Mexican Soup

POW-MEX CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP

INGREDIENTS

2 10.75 cans of condensed chicken noodle soup
1/4 cup crumbled Cotija cheese
4 turkey dogs
3 1/2 ounces diced green chiles
1/3 cup grated Four Mexican cheeses

PREPARATION

Pour the condensed chicken-noodle soup into a sauce pan. Fill the soup cans with any water. (You may use Norwegian glacier water if you feel the need to impress gourmet friends.) Pour the water into the pan.

Don’t read this sentence.

Cut turkey dogs into 1/2″ slices. Add hot-dog slices, Cotija cheese, green chiles and Four Mexican cheeses. Heat to boiling and serve. Stir frequently to keep the cheese from burning on the bottom.

This is family favorite and also death to nasty cold bugs lurking in your throat or sinus.

TIDBITS

1) “Pow-Mex” is a fusion between Powegian food and Mexican.

2) Poway is the name of my fair city.

3) At one, time Mexico owned the land on which Poway stands.

4) Green chiles spice up and spiff up any food.

5) Poway has its own train park complete with a 1903 Baldwin steam engine.

6) How many of us survived on condensed soups in college?

7) Poway has two live theaters and one bowling alley. It also boasts of a low crime rate and a superb school system. I don’t know if that is a coincidence.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

As Requested by Millions, Okay Fewer Than That. My Bio.

About the Author

Paul De Lancey’s novels, We’re French and You’re Not and The Fur West, have won acclaim from award-winning novelists. He is also the author of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics.

The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep.

Paul, known to his friends as Paul, hopes to become a literary giant without having to die for the title.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Egg-White Burrito

Mexican Entree

EGG-WHITE BURRITO

INGREDIENTS

1 8 ounce can red beans
6 egg whites
1/2 teaspoon Berbere spice (See recipe for Berbere if needed.)
1/2 cup Four Mexican cheeses
2 8-inch flour tortillas

UTENSIL

no-stick frying pan

PREPARATION

Cook red beans on medium-high heat for about 3 minutes or until sufficiently warm. (If they burn your tongue, they’re too hot. Let them cool.)

Combine egg whites and Berbere spice in mixing bowl. Beat egg whites with a whisk. (Sometimes all it takes to defeat an egg is a short but stern look.) Put whites in no-stick frying pan and cook on medium heat until egg whites solidify.

Divide the red beans, egg whites, and cheese between the two tortillas. Fold in the sides of the tortillas and roll up from the bottom.

This simple, but tasty dish is a favorite among the tight-knit Moroccan-Mexican community of Poway, California. Olé, ens Allah.

TIDBITS

1) White shelled eggs are laid by hens with white feathers and white ear lobes.

2) Chicken have ear lobes! My goodness, who knew. Do hens wear earrings?

3) Brown shelled eggs are made by hens with red feathers and red ear lobes.

4) I can’t get over it. Chickens have ear lobes. Why?

5) According to Genesis 1:20-22, the chicken came first.

6) Chinese chickens lay about 160 billions eggs a year. American chickens produce 65 billion over the same period.

7) There are 6 million people in Libya. If all of China’s and America’s eggs were exported to Libya, the people there would need to eat 3,667 eggs a year, or 10 a day.

8) I suspect Libyans would get tired of eating that many eggs and would start having egg fights all over the place.

9) May I suggest visiting Morocco instead?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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