A year ago, I offered Fidel Castro a retirement dinner to celebrate stepping down as the ruler of Cuba after about only 52 years. I, the Powegian Chef, offered it to him at my humble home. Did he RSVP? Heck no? So, I’m offering one last time. What about it Fidel? I offered President Obama a dinner at my home. He didn’t bother to reply either. What happened? I’m running against him on the Bacon & Chocolate Party. All polls that I follow show B&C’s popularity surging, carrying me into the White House in November. So I suggest your RSVP “yes.” After all biting into a sandwich with hidden lutefisk in it fills the eater with severe depression. Just saying.
So, Fidel, do you like Swedish cuisine? My grandmother was from Sweden and passed on a great, authentic recipe. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich, Cuban stuffed peppers? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.
We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. Sorry, no post-prandial cigars at this home, but wouldn’t you really rather have a peanut-butter milkshake?
We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.
And my wife could shave off your unruly beard. She’s really good.
C’mon over Fidel, we’ll treat you right.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.