Posts Tagged With: We’re French

Potato Sauerkraut Patties (Tierteg)

Luxembourg Breakfast

POTATO SAUERKRAUT PATTIES
(Tierteg)

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds potatoes
1½ pounds sauerkraut
1 pound smoked turkey or chicken
¼ cup lard or butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

potato masher

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into 8 pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes. Mash potatoes with potato masher. Cut smoked turkey into ½” cubes.

Add mashed potatoes, sauerkraut, and chicken cubes to large mixing bowl. Mix thoroughly by hand. Use hands to make patties 4″ wide and 1″ thick. Add two teaspoons lard to pan. Melt lard using medium-high heat. Add patties to pan. (Don’t let them touch each other.) Sauté for 5 minutes or until bottom side turns golden brown. Flip patties carefully with spatula. Add 2 teaspoons lard to pan. (These patties are crumbly. Should they come apart, press separated pieces together with spatula.) Repeat for successive batches. Goes well with a friend who cleans up afterward.

TIDBITS

1) The above photo shows a domesticated potato sauerkraut patty. You may safely leaves these patties alone. It’s even safe to eat them and heavens, they’re yummy.

2) Never put feral sauerkraut patties on a plate. They’ll attack your fingers. And my gosh no, never leave them alone. They know what you have in store for them and they don’t like it one bit. The feral patty, in a whirlwind of activity, will destroy kitchen and then off and hide. At night, they’ll come out and nip your toes before leaving your home, never to be seen again.

3) If you must buy a feral potato sauerkraut patty, for Pete’s sake, buy a plate equipped with electrical force fields. The force field discharges an electric shock strong enough to knock out any patty that gets too close to edge of the plate. It takes but only three or four electric jolts to turn even the wildest patty into a reliably tame one. Get one online at http://www.CulinaryForceFields.com. They’re quite the nifty gizmo.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Simplify Solitaire

How many times has this happened to you? You’ve spent the Christmas bonus on a week-long vacation on the sun-lit beaches of Hawaii. You’re up earlier than your spouse, rather earlier as you’re just so excited to splash in the warm ocean water. But it’ll be two hours before he wakes up. What to do? You decide to play solitaire to pass the time. Only the game takes so freaking, but find you can’t  ever leave anything unfinished.

He arises and cajoles you to take to the beach. Enthralled in your game; you do not. He pleads again. You do not hear him. He says he is heading to beach and asks you to join him later. You favor him with a perfunctory wave. He leaves.

Finally, the game is over. You look at your watch. Oh my gosh, is that the time? Oh my gosh, is that the day? Horrors, you have played the entire vacation away. Your plane leaves in hour. You shout for your husband. He does not respond. There is a note on the table. He found a beautiful mango heiress while you were playing solitaire. He’s going to spend the rest of his life with her on the French Riviera.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Now we all know the object of Solitaire is place the right cards on an ace. This, as we have seen above, can take a lot of time. My brilliant idea is to shrink the 52-card deck down to one, the ace of spades. As you soon as you play this card, the game is done. You can get one with your life. You and your wedded love remain inseparable. Life is good.

I show to the right a simulated game of Ace of Spades Solitaire. You’ve won!

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: I simplify, observations, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Make a Sandwich From the World Day

Gentle Readers,

Do you enjoy sandwiches? Sure, we all do. What sandwiches do we like to eat? Some of us like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Others prefer: ham, cheese, roast beef, salami, and many, many other types.

But what is the only sandwich that none of us have ever made?

The Earth.

Is there any sandwich that would be bigger than an Earth sandwich?

No.

Would we get into the Guinness Book of Records(TM) for making an Earth sandwich?
Oh yes. And we would stay there until science advances enough to make a Jupiter sandwich.

So, I humbly propose that we make Thursday, November 5 “Make a Sandwich From the World Day” or MSFWD, short.

How do we participate?

Simply put a single slice of bread on the ground. As soon as two people have done so, we will have created the first World Sandwich?

Mightn’t this result in a lopsided sandwich if, say, two neighbors in San Diego are the only people to put down bread slices?

Oh yes, we need to recruit all our friends and acquaintances. We particularly need to enlist people on the opposite side of the globe. A good way to accomplish is the through the website https://othersideoftheglobe.com/ which pinpoints the place you’d get to should you ever decide to tunnel through the center of the Earth. Simply contact people on the nearest bit of land from that spot and ask them to participate.

Buy your bread and be ready on Thursday, November 5. Together we can achieve greatness. Together, we’ll make the World Sandwich.

Kudos to NKLOTZ of I’m Not Right in the Head.com

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

As Requested by Millions, Okay Fewer Than That. My Bio.

About the Author

Paul De Lancey’s novels, We’re French and You’re Not and The Fur West, have won acclaim from award-winning novelists. He is also the author of hilarious articles and somewhat drier ones in Economics.

The humorist is a direct descendant of the great French Emperor Napoleon. Actually, that explains a lot of things. Mr. De Lancey makes his home, with his wonderful family, in Poway, California. He divides his time between being awake and asleep.

Paul, known to his friends as Paul, hopes to become a literary giant without having to die for the title.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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