Posts Tagged With: Brynne Chandler

Modern Day Wise Words

The following bits of wisdom sound like adages, but aren’t. Enjoy.
Sugar burns fast on a burner. – Paul De Lancey
Taller brownies have more flavor. – Doug Wissoker
Where there’s a will, there’s a relative. – Adam Slade
Everything is somewhere. – Lee Jackson’s son
There’s more water down by the lake. – Brynne Chandler
You’re either on the bus or under the bus. – Foinah Jameson
That which does not kill me is still pretty fucking terrifying. – Deci Reynolds
A bird in the hand is definitely going to poop on you. –  Angie Mansfield
A stitch in time and these sutures are gonna take forever. – Dana Hoyt-Bauer
Plan what you’ll eat, then eat what you have planned. – Debra Polk
What you go through gets you in the room. – Janna Leadbetter
If worms had guns, birds wouldn’t eff with them. – Lee Jackson’s brother in law, Mike Jackson
The river is wide, but I don’t smoke. Ever. – Liz Husebye Hartmann
A wise man treads lightly on shredded wheat. – Tammy Parks
Better to wrack one’s brain than brain one’s wrack. – Steve Barber
Roofers’ knee pads are insufficient for crawling over broken glass. – Nancy Fairweather
During book burnings, the hottest books are the most red. – Julie Watts
You will find that thing you’re searching for in the last place you look. –  Cheryl Christensen
If you eat a whole chocolate bar in a forest and nobody sees you, then it has no calories. – Badger Dowdeswell
I’ve been saying this one for years: Where there’s a will, there’s a family fighting over it. – Charlie Stuart
Everything is better with butter. –  Daphne Anne Humphrey
Be wary of strangers who don’t wear masks. – Cynthia Bronco
Putting peanut butter between two pieces of bread won’t turn it to jelly. – Kathryn Minicozzi

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on


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Drunken Cheeseburgers

American Entree



4 garlic cloves
1 pound ground beef (80%) or ground chuck
2 cups Cabernet Sauvignon, Marsala, or red wine
1 red onion or sweet onion
2 tablespoons olive oil
4 sesame hamburger buns
⅔ cup grated cheddar cheese
¼ cup fresh basil leaves

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.


Dice garlic cloves. Add garlic and ground beef to large mixing bowl. Mix by hand. Form 4 patties by hand. Pour wine over patties. Cover and marinate in refrigerate for 2 hours. While patties marinate, thinly slice onion. Add onion and olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until softens. Remove onion slices from pan and place on plate covered with paper towel. Keep olive oil in pan.

Add patties to large pan. Cover and fry patties at medium heat for 5 minutes. Flip patties, cover, and fry for 3 minutes or until patties are cooked nearly to your desired level of doneness. Sprinkle cheese over each patty and fry for another 2 minutes or until cheese melts. While patties fry, toast buns. Place patty on bottom hamburger bun. Add patty. Carefully ladle 1½ tablespoons marinade onto patty. Top with 1 tablespoon basil leaves. Add top hamburger bun.


1) Brynne Chandler was born a peasant girl in Nevers, France on November 2, 1755. the same day as Marie Antoinette . Because of their great beauty, Brynne and Marie became European fashion models. Then Marie up and became queen of France. Bereft of her modeling companion, Brynne naturally pursued quantum physics. Brynne did well in her new career. She even discovered how to run faster than the speed of light. Indeed, she holds the world record for the mile, .0000056 seconds.

2) Things went differently for Marie Antoinette. Her lavish spending bankrupted the French monarchy. The impoverish monarchy fell. Marie found herself at a guillotine on October 16, 1793. Brynne protested. “No, no, no.” Our heroine rushed the guillotine intending the save the queen. Unfortunately, she ran at the speed of light. It was at this point that our plucky soul discovered that time halted for her while staying same for the French revolutionaries. When Brynne stopped running, she found herself in the year 2017. “Well, that won’t happen again,” said Brynne.. So she took up cooking with wine. All drunken dishes, including drunken chicken and drunken cheeseburgers are inspired by her trail blazing culinary spirit. Brynne says she’s no longer even tempted to run as fast of the speed of light. Olympic runners, aspiring to set records, are grateful.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

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