– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Maurice Chevalier songs had big hits in America and in France. The debonaire Frenchman even made it big in Hollywood. He truly was a magnificent and popular singer of the 20th century. So it comes as a massive shock to many to discover his immense popularity in England during the Hundred Years Wars (1347 – 1453). Indeed no English army rampaged around the medieval French countryside without singing Monsieur Chevalier’s most beloved songs, collectively known as “Les Chansons de Chevalier.”
All this begs the question, how did M. Chavalier get so popular way back then? Social media.
Anyway, Chavalier’s beautiful song “Louise” starts with the lyrics:
“Wonderful Oh, it’s wonderful
To be in love with you.
Beautiful! You’re so beautiful,
You haunt me all day through.”
However, Archer Woman, mighty warrior that she was, felt this song spoke directly to her because she thought it went:
Misheard lyrics #22
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I had this for breakfast.
1) Woke up again, showered, and dressed. The streak continues.
2) Had cereal and sausage for breakfast. You know it’s only a matter of time before someone sells Sausage Cereal(tm). “With little sausage bits.”
3) Did lots of tax preparation. Such fun.
4) Made everyone one in Idaho a grilled-cheese sandwich. People liked them. They said the sandwiches were “yummy.”
5) Took a well deserved “book bath.” The book is The Rising Sun and is about Scotland’s disastrous attempt to colonize Panama in 1698.
6) Did lots and lots of latch hooking.
7) Said “You’re welcome” to Idahoans calling to say “thank you.”
8) I don’t have regular tv, so I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. Number Two Son provided a link to the game on my computer but I feared I would somehow bring down the global internet if I tried, so I didn’t.
9) Yahoo has something where you can click on something. If you do, you see a little football and every 30 seconds or so, a short sentence appears and tells you what happened. The considerable charms on the Super Bowl were lost on me.
10) Time to watch another episode of “Medieval Legacy.” I rock.
Behave yourselves.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The Sun looks like me when I have just showered.
1) Woke up.
2) Showered. I became amazingly clean and shiny to the point I rivaled the Sun.
3) Then I went super nova–sorry about the heat wave.
4) Then I got better and things went back to normal.
5) Went to the grocery store to get ingredients for a special meal. We’ll have it tomorrow.
6) Worked on finances.
7) Spent a while on the Great Latch Hook Project. I did 192 squares, a new daily record! Go me.
8) Gathered records for taxes, always a fun time.
9) Did two Thursday New York(tm) Times crossword puzzles while taking a bath.
10) Watched three episodes of Medieval Legacy. It’s good to learn things in case I find myself going back in time.
11) Wanted to find the Source of the Nile, but found out it had been done multiples times.
12) So, I organized an expedition to find the source of Poway’s Rattlesnake Creek. Wish me luck.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Ancient Greek Hell (Hades) was a paler, grayer version of life on Earth. Everything was less substantial. Whereas on Earth, you could bench press 600 pounds, you’d be hard pressed to pick up a package from Amazon(tm). And my, its sky was perpetually overcast and gray, like a winter in Wisconsin or the Netherlands.
You wouldn’t like the Christian Hell of the Middle Ages either. Sure you felt much more energetic, but that was only so you acutely feel your skin bubbling from Hell’s intense fires.
So, both places suck.
But what if? What if you could merge the Greek hell with that Medieval hell? The temperatures would even out to a nice temperate temperature of say, 74 degrees. All the time. The Greek gray would be cancelled by the Hellish red of Middle Europe. This would certainly result in blue skies. It would. It would. You’d have Hell’s energy allied with Hades’ buff bods. What could be better than having a magnificent body on a lush, tropical island?
Club Hell(tm), people are dying to go there.
Greek hell and medieval Christian Hell yields Club Hell
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Aleta, your tour guide
Have fun! Come travel with me.
First Weekend in July – The International Witches Fair – Watch reenactors capture witches and heretics. Watch the lost souls get tried. Be enthralled by their torture. Be entranced by lovingly recreated witches’s covens. Listen to the excommunication of the entire town. Watch as Pope Julius II curses the entire village of Trasmoz, Spain. The festival sports an authentic medieval market place and medieval camp. There are parades, magic shows, musical shows, and medieval combat. You’ll want to go year after year just to see everything. Learn about medieval plants. Learn how to poison someone. Or maybe you’ll want to heal people with medieval medicinal plants. To each his own.
Note: festival dates are prone to change. Check before you book. You don’t want to lug your broom all the way to Spain only to discover the International Witches Fair won’t take place another two weeks.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Such fun
Is Halloween your favorite holiday of the year? Did you or your mom spend days making a truly scary costume? Do you want another such day? Each and every year?
Then go to the Witchcraft and the Trasmoz’s Curse Fair. Other towns have their own witch fairs. But do not go to them! Do not accept substitutes. The first and still the best such fair is the one in Trasmoz, Spain. This fair is the one that truly deserves to be called, The International Witches Fair.
This fair takes places every first weekend in July and is just the thing for people who prefer to watch movies about witch burning over roasting marshmallow over an open fire.
This fair is such fun. Watch reenactors capture witches and heretics. Watch the lost souls get tried. Be enthralled by their torture. Be entranced by lovingly recreated witches’s covens. Honestly, is anything near your home that can rival this? I think not.
But wait! There’s more. Listen to the excommunication of the entire town. Puts your “Damn you, (your enemy)” to shame doesn’t it?
Watch as Pope Julius II curses the entire village.
But you can’t see the reenactment of the lifting of the excommunication and cursing. They never happened. The town is still excommunicated and cursed. Can New York City, London, Paris, Rio de Janeiro, Tokyo, or Bora Bora can say that? No they can’t, only Trasmoz, Spain.
Wait! There’s more.
The festival sports an authentic medieval market place and medieval camp. There are parades, magic shows, musical shows, and medieval combat. You’ll want to go year after year just to see everything.
But wait! There’s more.
Learn about medieval plants. Perhaps you’ll want to learn how to poison someone. It’s okay, it’s okay, all medieval poisons were organic. Or maybe you’ll want to heal people with medieval medicinal plants. To each his own.
The history
During the 1100s, the town of Trasmoz clashed with the nearby Veruela Monastery over firewood and pastures. Such disputes were normally decided by lawsuits or mediation by a higher lord or church official. Such a process proved unsatisfactory to the Monastery’s abbot. He excommunicated the entire town saying that witches and covens were running amok. Excommunication was an unambiguously horrible thing to happen to you in the Middle Ages. However, while bad for the town, excommunication is now an annual economic boon for Trasmoz, a town vying with other village for the tourist Euro.
In 1511, the lord of the town and Abbot Pedro Ximénez de Urrea quarreled. Perhaps the lord would point at the abbot and say, “Look, there goes urea breath.” Who can say? But we do know that the abbott complained to the higher ups. Eventually Pope Julius II cursed the entire town.
Some think the curse came about due to counterfeiting. Local counterfeiters didn’t want visitors poking their noses into this illegal activity. So the law breakers told the abbot stories of wickedness and the rest is history.
The excommunication and curse have never been lifted. Only the pope can do that. It’s something to think about should you ever ponder settling in Trasmoz.
So enjoy the history, the torture, and the food. Go to the International Witches Fair. Make your bookings now. It’s fun for the entire family.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1 garlic clove
2 green onions
1 small yellow onion
2 tablespoons olive oil (maybe ½ cup more later)
¼ teaspoon chives
½ teaspoon coriander
¼ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley
¼ teaspoon white pepper or black pepper
1 pound shrimp, peeled and deveined
8 ounces filo (phyllo)* sheets
¼ cup melted butter
1 egg yolk**
3 tablespoons olive oil.
* = It’s more authentic to buy ouarka or warqa sheets. They, however, can be very, very difficult to find no matter what the spelling might be.
** = It’s a frustrating experience buying a single egg yolk at the store. For that matter, purchasing a single egg is often difficult as well.
Makes 30. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
PREPARATION
Mince garlic, green onions and yellow onion. Add garlic, green onion, yellow onion, and 2 tablespoons olive oil to pan. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add chives, coriander, cumin, paprika, parsley, and pepper. Add shrimp. Lower heat to medium and sauté for 3 minutes or until shrimp turns pink or orange. Stir frequently. Remove from heat. Mince shrimp.
Add filo sheet to flat surface. (Keep other sheets covered until needed. They dry out fast.) Brush filo sheet with butter. Cut filo sheet into strips 4″ wide. Add ½ tablespoon shrimp ½” from the end of the strip. Take one corner of the strip and fold it over diagonally to make a side of a triangle. Take bottom corner of triangle and fold it up to make another triangle. Continue to fold dough until you come to the end. You now have a briouate. Dab loose end of briouate with butter and fold into pocket formed by the open edg.
Add olive oil (½” deep) to pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat. Add as many briouates as possible without them touching. Deep fry on medium-high heat for 2 minutes or until golden brown. (Frying times go down with successive batches.)Turn briouates enough to prevent burning. Removebriouates and drain on paper towels. Repeat for successive batches. Goes well with harissa.
TIDBITS
1) Frankia, modern-day France, was named after I. A. Frank.
2) Frank operated a chain of sausage stands/inns for hungry, weary pilgrims.
3) The pilgrims loved Frank’s sausage in a bun.
4) So much so that they started calling his delicacies, Franks.
5) The entire land went so hot-dog made that the entire region started calling itself Frankia.
6) See the seminal work on Medieval treatise by Monk Jean de Tours, Mon Dieu, Mon Pays, et Mon Frank.
7) Reading this literary masterpiece is harder than just seeing it. You really do need to be fluent in Medieval French.
8) Anyway in 732*, an invading Arab army under Emir Abdul Rahman threatened Frank’s culinary empire and Frankia itself.
9) *That’s 732 AD. AD stands for Anno Domini, Latin for the year of Our Lord. This system of dating is falling out of favor with many historians who prefer the less assertive, CE, or Common Era. I like to refer to this date as 1246 APB, or After Paul’s Birth. In a strange coincidence, my name is Paul.
10) So why did the Arabs invade Frankia? To convert Frankian Christians to Islam.
11) Culinary historians assert, however, that the reason was that Frank’s Franks were made out of pigs. The Arabs believed no one should eat pigs. So by conquering Frankia, they’d rid the land of forbidden pig-filled Franks.
12) To be replaced by Shrimp Briouates The invaders believed this blessed dish to be the best entree in the entire world.
13) I, personally, do not wish to take sides in the Great Hot Dog/Shrimp Briouate Controversy that has racked humanity for centuries. I can see, however, how they came to believe so strongly in the tastiness of the Shrimp Brioautes.
14) But the adherents of Frank’s Franks prevailed in the Battle of Tours. European pilgrims came to visit Tours to give thanks for hot dog’s victory. Larger and larger groups of pilgrims came, necessitating the forming of tour companies. So many tours came to Tours, that people took to changing the town’s name from Tours to Tours.
15) As a side note, briouate is one of the few dishes that’s spelled with all the vowels: a,e,i,o, and u.
You can even use the sometime vowel, y, if you want to spell briouatey, as in “That pastry is so flaky, it’s positively briouatey.”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
French Appetizer
DIJON MUSTARD
INGREDIENTS
1/2 medium yellow onion
2 cloves garlic
1 cup dry white wine
1/2 cup mustard, dry
1 1/2 tablespoons honey
1/2 tablespoon vegetable oil
1/2 teaspoon salt
SPECIAL UTENSILS
colander
airtight jar
PREPARATION
Mince the onion and garlic. Put wine, onion, garlic in pot. Cook at high heat until wine boils. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Stir occasionally. Pour mixture through colander into mixing bowl. Let liquid cool.
Add mustard to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until mixture is smooth. Add wine/garlic/mustard, honey, vegetable, and salt to pot Simmer for about 10 minutes or until liquid thickens. (Don’t look down too long at pot. The vapor will make your eyes sting.) Let cool. Pour into airtight jar. Keep refrigerated. The Dijon mustard will get slightly milder over the next 5 days.
TIDBITS
1) Ancient doctors used mustard to cure toothaches, epilepsy, and PMS, increase blood circulation, clear sinuses, and stimulate appetite. It had indifferent success in curing death as shown by the mustard found in King Tut’s tomb. Listen to the comedian Steve Martin & the Toot Uncommons sing the praises of King Tut.
2) Many cultures scatter mustard seeds around the home to repel evil spirits. Bear traps are a good way to tackle bad spirits taking on animal form. Leaving lutefisk outside your door wards off all spirits ethereal or corporal, including mimes selling aluminum siding door to door.
3) Indeed, people in medieval Paris could buy mustard by the wheelbarrow. This facts suggests lots of door-to-door mimes ran around back then. On the other hand, there is scant evidence of 13th-century Parisian homes, stone, wood, or otherwise, being adorned with aluminum siding.
4) Canada is the largest producer of mustard. There aren’t many evil spirits in Canada. See?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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