Posts Tagged With: Greek

I Visit My Friend From Greek Mythology

Posted on April 22, 2024 by pauldelancey

Sisyphus, before I helped him

I woke up and headed over to my friend Sisyphus’ place, which was on the slope of a mountain. He was pushing a gigantic rock up a steep slope.

“Hi, Sisyphus, how it’s hanging?”

“Oh can’t complain, blog-writing Paul, except maybe for this eternal torment the gods gave me.”

“What did you do, Greek guy?”

“Oh the usual, pissing off the gods. I guess I was too much of a tyrant to my subjects. Zeus, in particular, thought I was overly cruel even.”

“Why are you pushing a big rock up this hill?”

“Oh spreadsheet flashing Paul, it’s my dread punishment. I must take this rock up to the top.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem too hard.”

He sighed. “Matching-socks, Paul. Just before I get the rock to the top, the muscles in my arms burn with the fires of the underworld. I pause. I slip. My hands fall from the rock. The rock rolls, along with my hopes. all the way down to the bottom. I have to start again.”

I offer him a taco. Sisyphus takes it gratefully and devours it instantly. “Thanks, large-refrigerator-owning, Paul.”

“So, how many times have put your shoulder to the rock?”

“174.383 times.”

“Bummer, that’s a bummer, Sisyphus.”

The Greek tyrant looked so downcast, that I really thought he’d eat lutefisk with a murmur.

My synapses fired. “Say Sisyphus, how about I help you? You’ve been coming ever so close just by yourself. I bet if I helped you, we’d get that darned rock to the top.”

“Mighty man of Poway, I would be most grateful for your assistance.”

And so we pushed the rock to the top.

Sisyphus jumped up and down. “Cowabunga, my punishment is over. I thought I’d be here for all eternity, but now thanks to you, latch-hooking Paul, I’m a free man. Free, I tell you, free!”

The erstwhile rock pusher clasped my shoulders. “Let’s celebrate. I’m taking you to Happy Hera’s Gyro Heaven for some cooling lemonade and tasty gyros.”

“Sounds great, Sisyphus, Do you think this myth will be rewritten showing how I helped you?”

The Greek strongman tilted back his head and laughed so hard that even the Debbie Downers in Sparta heard and smiled just a little bit. “I hope so, cake-baking, Paul, I do hope so.”

And thus, I became ever so famous.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: eternal, Greek, gyro, Hera, lutefisk, mythology, punishment, refrigerator, rock, Sisyphus, socks, subjects, taco, tyrant, Zeus | 2 Comments

Yoga Instructor on Men’s Vanity

Posted on April 14, 2024 by pauldelancey

Yoga Instructor knows that super inflammatory comments about a man’s appearance is who’s hitting on you can escalate to a dangerous situation. So instead of telling the relentless oaf, “Hell no, you look like cat ick,” be like Yoga Instructor and say,

Yoga Instructor #10

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Uncategorized, yoga instructor | Tags: appearance, body, cat, dangerous, gauze, God, Greek, inflammatory, men's, murders, oaf, relentless, vanity, yoga, yoga instructor | 1 Comment

What I Did Today

Posted on March 15, 2024 by pauldelancey

Will he like his taco?

Got up, showered, and dressed. It’s important to do this in the right order.

As usual, I did not wake up refreshed. Had a coffee drink.

Went grocery shopping.

Went to exercise class. Getting fit.

Drove home. It was so slow due to huge amounts of traffic and road repair sites that took a major freeway from two lanes to one.

Balanced check book.

Had left overs.

Decided to go back in time to debate philosophy with my man, Plato. However, I speak no ancient Greek and his modern-day English is quite rudimentary. We went to a toga party. Let me tell you, Plato rocks.

We shook hands and went our separate ways. I did give him a taco before I left. That might affect history. I don’t know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: what I did | Tags: ancient, coffee, Comic Chef, cookbook, debate, English, exercise, Greek, grocery shopping, murders, philosophy, Plato, road repair, thriller, traffic | 1 Comment

Sure Fire Hack to a Flatter Stomach

Posted on November 19, 2023 by pauldelancey

Face it, society puts a lot of pressure on us to look thin. Many of us are overweight, including me. How do we get thinner? By exercising and dieting.

But those options are hard, take a lot of time to see results, and frankly, not fun at all. If only there were a way to become thinner without any effort at all.

Now, there is such a way.

We only have to face the correct way from the moon and our stomachs will flatten.

IT’S THAT EASY!!!!!!!!

You may skip the following scientific explanation if you’re absolutely gung ho to go outside* and flatten your stomach

* * = You don’t even have to do this to thin your stomach. The moon’s gravitational field works everywhere you go. IT’S AMAZING!!

Anyway, the moon’s gravitational pull produces a tidal force. This force makes Earth’s oceans bulge out on the sides closest and farthest to the moon. These ocean bulges are high tides. (You learn something every day.) Basically, the moon makes the Earth get fatter.

Science

So, how does this help our big bellies?

Face away FROM the moon* at night

AND

Face in the SAME direction as the moon in the day time.

IT’S THAT SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!

Do this all the time and people will be throwing themselves at your magnificent body, you Greek god/goddess you.

* = Admittedly, the moon is often easier to see at night.

And look!!! The man on the left is facing the incorrect way. The SAME man on the right, however, is facing the correct way.

See?

PROOF YOU CANNOT DENY!!!!!

WATCH THE MOON AND GET THIN!!!!!!!

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: proof you cannot deny, science, Secrets of the Universe | Tags: dieting, Earth, exercising, fat, flatter, flatter stomach, God, goddess, gravitational, Greek, Moon, oceans, overweight, society, stomach, tidal force | 1 Comment

Club Hell

Posted on June 8, 2023 by pauldelancey

Ancient Greek Hell (Hades) was a paler, grayer version of life on Earth. Everything was less substantial. Whereas on Earth, you could bench press 600 pounds, you’d be hard pressed to pick up a package from Amazon(tm). And my, its sky was perpetually overcast and gray, like a winter in Wisconsin or the Netherlands.

You wouldn’t like the Christian Hell of the Middle Ages either. Sure you felt much more energetic, but that was only so you acutely feel your skin bubbling from Hell’s intense fires.

So, both places suck.

But what if? What if you could merge the Greek hell with that Medieval hell? The temperatures would even out to a nice temperate temperature of say, 74 degrees. All the time. The Greek gray would be cancelled by the Hellish red of Middle Europe. This would certainly result in blue skies. It would. It would. You’d have Hell’s energy allied with Hades’ buff bods. What could be better than having a magnificent body on a lush, tropical island?

Club Hell(tm), people are dying to go there.

Greek hell and medieval Christian Hell yields Club Hell

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: lifestyle | Tags: Chef Paul, Club Hell, Comic Chef, cookbook, Earth, Europe, Greek, Hades, Hell, medieval, murders, Netherlands, recipes, tropical, Wisconsin | Leave a comment

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word, Lockiness

Posted on May 23, 2023 by pauldelancey

Sometimes words come about gradually. You hear them for a while before noticing and adopting them into your vocabularly. Sometimes your work or studies require you to coin a new word so as to avoid using a sentence over and over when the new bon mot will do quite nicely. And then sometimes, the world suddenly gives birth to a glorious, brilliant, and beautiful new word just as the Greek god Zeus gave birth to the wise, powerful, and beautiful goddess Athena by pulling her out of his split-open head.*

And NOW, TODAY’S FEATURED WORD

LOCKINESS

courtesy of the wonderful wordsmith, Christee Gabour Atwood

* = A painful birth, you bet.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Paul's Awesome Dictionay | Tags: Athena, beautiful, birth, Chef Paul, Christee Gabour Atwood, Comic Chef, cookbook, God, Greek, lockiness, Paul's Awesome English Dictionary, recipes, skull, vocabulary, words, Zeus | Leave a comment

Pan Fried Chicken Breast

Posted on May 16, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Entree

PAN FRIED CHICKEN BREAST

INGREDIENTS

4 chicken breasts, boneless & skinless, 5-to-6 ounces each
½ teaspoon pepper
¾ teaspoon salt
½ cup flour
1 teaspoon garlic powder
¾ teaspoon onion powder
1¼ teaspoon paprika
1 teaspoon parsley (1 teaspoon more later)
3 tablespoons vegetable oil (ip to 3 tablespoons more, if necessary)
up to 3 tablespoons more, if necessary
1 lemon
1 teaspoon parsley

SPECIAL UTENSILS

plastic wrap
kitchen mallet

Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Remove chicken breasts from refrigerator and pat dry with paper towels. Cover with plastic wrap. Pound chicken breasts lightly with kitchen mallet until they are ½” thick or thinner. Rub chicken with pepper and salt.

Add flour, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika, and parsley to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Dredge chicken breast through mixture in bowl. Shake off any excess. (Excess flour falls off in the oil, adding a burnt taste and look..) Repeat for remaining breasts.

Add 3 tablespoons vegetable oil to large pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a little bit of flour in the oil starts to dance. Add 2 chicken breasts to pan. Cover and fry chicken breasts for 2½ minutes or until bottom of chicken breasts turn golden brown. DO NOT move them. (Only lift a corner of a chicken breast to see if the bottom is golden brown. Use spatula to flip chicken breasts. Cover and fry for another 2 minutes or when new bottom turns golden brown as well. Remove breasts to plate and cover to keep warm. Add up to 2 more tablespoons oil, if necessary. Repeat for 2nd batch of chicken breasts. (The 2nd batch might take less time to cook.)

Slice lemon into 4 pieces. Serve each chicken breasts with a lemon slice Garnish each chicken breast with ¼ teaspoon parsley..

TIDBITS

1) The title of this dish pretty much tells us that chicken breasts are fried in a pan.

2) Or can we be so sure of this?

3) Sure, the picture to the right is indeed a pan.

4) But maybe, just maybe, pan here means something else.

5) “Pan” is a term used by drama and movie critics to denote harsh criticism of the artistic endeavor.

6) Indeed, Cal Porter’s*, Broadway play, Fried Chicken Breast closed after only one performance.

7) The very next day, the headline on Variety(tm) read, “All Critics Pan Fried Chicken Breast.”

8) Noted acid-penned critic, Farine du Ble called the play, “Fried Chicken Beast” and advised Cal Porter to stick to one-word haikus.

9) To this day, actors morn the quick closing of a play by eating Pan Fried Chicken Breasts. And this is how this entree got this name.

10) But wait, there’s another subtle explanation.

11) In ancient Greek mythology, Pan was the god of the wild, shepherds, rustic music, and great chefs. He had the hindquarters, legs, and horns of a goat. Yep, he was the original Goat Man.

12) Goat Man loved chicken as what Greek god didn’t?

13) Pan originally ate fire-burned chicken. This recipe involved herding chickens into a brush fire. This frustrated the hooves off Pan. When the blaze finally died, chances were all the chickens had to turned to ash. He’d throw himself down and beat the ground with his fists. This is the origin of the line, “Ashes, ashes, we all fall down.”

14) Plus Goat Man had to wait for lightning to strike the fields near his chicken. And you can’t really count on a lightning strike when you’re hungry.

15) Then happy mythological day, the god Prometheus** gave fire to us mortals. Zeus’s monopoly on fire went up in smoke. Petulant Zeus tied Prometheus to a rock and had an eagle peck away every day at the fire-donor’s liver.

16) Sure, that was bad for Prometheus, but fire was a positive boon to Greek cuisine***. We could now fry things. Pan started Hellenic cuisine off right with his Fried Chicken breast. Grateful Greek chicken diners called it Pan Fried Chicken Breast. So maybe this dish got its name this way.

17) * Cal Porter was Cole Porter’s distant cousin. ** Prometheus twin brother was Antimetheus. *** Fire was also a boon for Greeks wishing to stay warm on cold, like during wintry nights.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: American, breast, Broadway, Chef Paul, chicken, Cole Porter, Comic Chef, cookbook, critics, entree, fire, God, good food, Greek, haiku, mythology, onion powder, Pan, pan fried chicken breast, paprika, Paul R. De Lancey, play, Prometheus, recipes, Variety, Zeus | Leave a comment

Tzatziki Meatloaf

Posted on May 7, 2023 by pauldelancey

Greek Entree

TZATZIKI MEATLOAF

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cups plain yogurt (fat, not low-fat)
⅓ medium cucumber or ½ small or 1 tiny
¼ teaspoon black pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¾ teaspoon sugar
4 teaspoons dill weed
1 garlic clove
2 teaspoon lemon juice
1½ pounds ground beef
3 large eggs
2 cups breadcrumbs
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Peel the skin off the cucumber. It is optional to remove the seeds from the cucumber. This step, however, will make the sauce sweeter.

Peel the skin off the garlic clove. Cut up the cucumber into about eight pieces. Put the cucumber and garlic into a food chopper or food processor. Blend, chop, and process away until mixture is almost liquid.

Put the yogurt and cucumber-garlic mix into bowl. Add the salt, sugar, dill weed, lemon juice, ground beef, eggs, and breadcrumbs. Get a nine-year old to thoroughly mix this with his hands. (If you don’t have such a child in your house, knock on neighbors’ doors until you find such a kid.)

Spray baking pan with no-stick spray. Pour delightful meat mixture into baking pan. Put baking pan in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until meat is no longer pink.

Place slice of meatloaf on plate. Take a ladle and pour liquid from the baking pan on top of the meatloaf.

TIDBITS

1) My nine-year old son is listening to a Pokemon(tm) episode on the laptop while I’m trying to think up tidbits.

2) I’m not thinking well with this distraction.

3) There’s no Pokemon on the moon, is there?

4) Is that why astronaut Neil Armstrong landed there on July 20, 1969? Did American rocket scientists have a vision of America’s Pokemon future?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, cucumber, dill, entree, good food, Greek, ground beef, lemon juice, meatloaf, Pokemon, recipes, tzatziki, yogurt | Leave a comment

Lemon Chicken Soup (Avgolemono)

Posted on June 10, 2022 by pauldelancey

Greek Soup

LEMON CHICKEN SOUP
(Avgolemono)

INGREDIENTS

8 cups chicken stock
2 pounds chicken breasts
1 cup arborio, other rice, or orzo
3 eggs
½ cup lemon juice
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup fresh parsley

Serves 6. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add chicken stock to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Add chicken breasts. Lower heat to medium. Add arborio. Simmer for 20 minutes or until chicken breasts can be pulled apart with 2 forks. Stir enough to prevent burning, Remove chicken breasts to large bowl. (Keep chicken stock.) Shred chicken with forks. Return shredded chicken to pot. Stir until well blended.

While chicken simmers for 20 minutes, add eggs and lemon juice to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Take 2 cups chicken stock from large pot and add to measuring cup. Drizzle chicken stock from measuring cup to mixing bowl. Whisk continually as you drizzle in the stock. Add this egg/lemon/stock sauce to the large pot. Add pepper and salt. Simmer for 15 minutes or until soup thickens. Stir enough to prevent burning.

Dice parsley. Garnish with parsley.

TIDBITS

1) Wolves like to eat chickens. Isaac Newton’s chickens were the best. So, it’s no surprise that numerous gangs of unemployed, teenage wolves attacked his chicken coops night after night. Newton first reasoned with the wolves, but his “Now, see here” was met with scorn. He even tried making scary faces. The wolves yawned briefly, then continued their attacks.

2) Desperate, Newton climbed his lemon trees and threw lemon after lemon at the wolves until he had no more. “Deuced wolves, take that.” And the wolves couldn’t take that barrage. They scurried away. Wolves have feared lemons ever since. This is why most chicken ranchers surround their coops with lemon trees. Eventually, culinarily minded lemon tree/chicken ranchers made this dish.

3)Anyway, Newton saved his chickens, but the loss of his lemons ruined him financially. He turned his mind to scientific observation and mathematical theory. Which is why we’ve heard of him.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: apocalyptic, avgolemono, Chef Paul, chicken coops, chicken ranchers, chickens, cookbook, De Lancey, gangs, good food, Greek, Isaac Newton, Lutheran, mathematical theory, mushrooms, Newton, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, soup, teenage, thriller, unemployed, wolves | 2 Comments

Fun Things to Do at the DMV

Posted on October 22, 2021 by pauldelancey

Dance as a Greek goddess at the DMV

Everybody knows that waiting in line at the DMV is the most soul-sucking experience imaginable.

But we are all wrong.

Just because the slow lines inside the DMV resemble plate tectonics, it doesn’t mean our imagination and hopes have to slow that much as well. No! Well then, what do we do in those funereal confines?

I’m glad you asked. Here are some fun things you can do while waiting to turn in your paperwork for a smart license.

1) Start a flash-mob Greek dancing extravaganza. Put on your togas, crank up the Hellenic flute music and rock the joint as your favorite Greek goddess or muse.

2) Start a chess tournament. Don’t worry, there will be enough time. You’ll need to bring your own tables and chess sets.

Such fun

3) Give archery lessons. Isn’t there a risk of hitting someone? Won’t someone move into the path of the arrow? No, people don’t move inside the DMV. Well, hardly ever. And even then, your impeded shot will just make the line shorter. It’s a win-win scenario for all but the victim.

4) Organize a reading contest. The first person to read Moby Dick from cover to cover wins.

5) Set up a film festival. Screen the car classics, Thunder Road, Smokey and the Bandit, Death Race 2000, and if time permits, Mad Max – Fury Road.

6) Do DMV dating. It’s just like speed dating where you get five minutes with a potential date, but much, much longer.

7) Keep track of your time and apply it to any future jail sentences.

Dine Well While Waiting Out the Line

8) Bring a crossword puzzle book. Finish it.

9) Have a candlelit gourmet lunch with the person next in line. Dinner on lobster thermidor, steak au poivre vert, chicken Florentine, and baked Alaska. Meet the love of your life, make a business contact, or just past the time with delicious food and pleasing conversation.

10) Learn Portuguese. You never know when you’ll go to Brazil.

11) Get paid by the hour while you keep a billionaire’s place in line. The billionaire can use this time to rocket into space. It’s a win-win situation.

As you can see, there are many exhilarating things you can do while in line in the DMV. I hope to see you there. Son of a bee, we’ll have great glee at the ‘MV

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: things to see and do | Tags: apocalyptic, archery, baked Alaska, billionaire, candlit, chess, Comic Chef, cookbook, dancing, Death Race 2000, DMV, film festival, Florentine, flute, fun, goddesses, good food, gourmet, Greek, Hellenic, hunks, jail, lobster thermidor, Lutheran, Mad Max, Moby Dick, muses, music, Paul De Lancey, Portuguese, recipes, Smokey and the Bandit, space, speed dating, steak, thriller, Thunder Road | 2 Comments

Posts Tagged With: Greek

I Visit My Friend From Greek Mythology

Yoga Instructor on Men’s Vanity

What I Did Today

Sure Fire Hack to a Flatter Stomach

Club Hell

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary – Today’s Word, Lockiness