Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

Homework After All These Years

Posted on February 22, 2022 by pauldelancey

My last homework prior to yesterday was my doctoral thesis, “Official Reserve Management and Forecasts of Official Reserves.” The book ran over 300 pages, featured more equations than you could shake a stick at, researching data from all sorts of official sources such as the International Monetary, survey of the literature, three stage iterative least squares with precautions against heteroskedasticity, serial correlations, Durbin-Watts statistics, graphs, projecting beyond the sample period, and much more.

Then there’s yesterday’s homework assignment from my eye therapy. I had to draw straight lines and color in rectangles without going into the next box. It’s an exercise designed to get my eyes working together again. But it looks suspiciously like one of my First-Grade homework assignments. I’ve come full circle in my education.

First Grade Homework?

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Paul De Lancey | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, doctoral, Durbin, education, eye threrapy, eyes, first grade, good food, homework, hunks, International Monetary Fund, iterative least squares, Lutheran, murders, official reserve management, Paul De Lancey, recipes, thesis, thriller | Leave a comment

Smoked Burgers

Posted on February 21, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Entree

SMOKED BURGERS

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds ground beef
2 teaspoons seasonings (garlic salt, pepper, etc.)
4 hamburger buns
optional toppings (cheese, lettuce, sliced onions, ketchup, etc.)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

smoker
electric thermometer
wood chips (hickory or mesquite)

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes for rare to 2 hours for well done. This time includes preheating the smoker. Times vary with smokers.

PREPARATION

Preheat smoker to 230 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. While smoker heats, add ground beef and seasonings to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form beef into 4 patties. Patties should be about 1″ thick. Make an small indentation in middle of patties. (This helps keep the juices in the patties.)

Place burgers directly on smoker racks. Cook until internal temperature of burgers reaches your desired level of doneness. (Rare = 120 degrees, medium = 140 degrees, well done = 160 degrees.) There is so need to flip patties. Toast buns. Assemble bottom buns, smoked patties, toppings, and top buns.

TIDBITS

1) There are many ways to determine direction. The most obvious one is the compass. It however, don’t work well if you’re near one of the Earth’s magnetic poles. They also become completely useless when you forget to bring one. Then you and your friend, Bart, find yourself completely lost at the northern magnetic pole. Bart finally realizes he had a compass with him all the time. But now his compass doesn’t work because, well you’re at a magnetic pole.

2) Bart pipes up, “Say, moss grows on the north side of trees. That’s how we’ll find our direction.” Not quite, moss mostly grows on the north side. And there are no trees at the North Magnetic Pole. You resolve there and then to never again hike the Everglades with Bart.

3) If only you had had lettuce, onion, tomato, and a smoked hamburger patty. The veggies will always point to the southwest and the patty to the northeast. Now you know.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, recipes | Tags: apocalyptic, burgers, Chef Paul, compass, cookbook, De Lancey, entree, good food, hamburger, Lutheran, magnetic pole, moss, murders, North, patty, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, smoked, smoker, thriller, wood chips | Leave a comment

Marked Safe From His Printer

Posted on February 20, 2022 by pauldelancey

Everyone knows by now of my daily existential war with my printer. One day it may very well triumph. Police will find my body near my gloating printer.

But not today!

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Marked Safe From | Tags: apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, existential, hunks, Lutheran, Marked Safe From, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, printer, recipes, thriller | Leave a comment

You Need to See Two Chicks Cuddling

Posted on February 19, 2022 by pauldelancey

Russia may very well invade Ukraine quite soon. America’s politics remain frightening. Your printer achieved consciousness and took an instant dislike to you.

You need something to soothe your wearied soul. You need to see something that’ll make you smile, something heartwarming.

You need to see chicks cuddling and here they are.

We will make you smile.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: you need to see | Tags: America, apocalyptic, Chef Paul, chicken, chicks, Comic Chef, consciousness, cookbook, cuddling, De Lancey, good food, heartwarming, hunks, Lutheran, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, printer, recipes, Russia, smile, thriller, Ukraine, you need to see | Leave a comment

Australian Avocado and Egg Toast

Posted on February 18, 2022 by pauldelancey

Australian Breakfast

AVOCADO AND EGG TOAST

INGREDIENTS

Spot the Volkswagen Beetle

2 eggs
2 slices sourdough bread
1 avocado
½ tablespoon lime juice
1 teaspoon fresh, chopped chives
⅛ teaspoon pepper

Serves 2. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add each egg to a ramekin or a cup that is not much larger than the egg. Add enough water to pot to cover egg. Bring water to boil using high heat. Gently slide eggs into boiling water. Poach eggs at high heat for 2 minutes for soft, runny egg yolks and for 5 minutes for eggs with firm yolks.
Remove eggs with slotted spoon and set aside.

Toast sourdough bread to your liking. While bread toasts, peel and remove pit from avocado. Add avocado to mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher or fork until avocado becomes creamy. Add lime juice, chives, and pepper. Mix with fork until well blended.

Top a sourdough slice with ½ of the mashed avocado. Spread avocado across bread. Press down with spoon slightly in the middle of the avocado mash. Place an egg in the depression. Repeat for the other sourdough slice.

TIDBITS

1) Australians love sports. They go crazy over soccer or football as they call it. I even played there in league soccer when I was little. Every year, the town where I lived, Earlwood, shut the town down for the annual soccer parade. I was the proud standard bearer for the Green Grasshopper. *Swells with pride*

2) Aussies also love cricket. I understand a lot of it. However, there are gaps in my knowledge. If these gaps ever come up in conversation, I will nod sagely in agreement. This is a good tactic for all sorts of topics and I’ve used it to good effect.

3) Australians also play a lot of tennis and rugby. Some of them even play baseball and American Rules Football. However, a new sport is taking the splendid country by storm. It’s called Hide the Volkswagentm Beetle. Two teams of four have one hour to hide a Beetle or Bug. Then the teams race to find the other players’ hidden Beetle. The team that wins this part get two points. You also gain a point for having the most creative camouflage. The photo above shows a Beetle hidden in a giant avocado and egg toast.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: American, apocalyptic, breakfast, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, good food, hunks, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, thriller | 2 Comments

Realistic Goals Versus Dreaming

Posted on February 17, 2022 by pauldelancey

I’m doing physical therapy for my lower back. They gently stretch my muscles and have me do exercises.

They do good work. See the picture below.

Here’s what I’d like to be able to do by next week.

All I want to do is to bend my head and left leg backward so that a golden Easter egg nestles between them all while balancing on the tip of my other foot.

Is that too much to ask?

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: motivational | Tags: British, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, dreaming, Easter egg, entree, exercises, goals, good food, hunks, Lutheran, muscles, Paul De Lancey, physical therapy, realistic, recipes, thriller | Leave a comment

When Scammers Merge

Posted on February 16, 2022 by pauldelancey

The world of commerce becomes ever more cutthroat by the day. The motto of money is “Go Big or Die.” Small businesses simply can’t compete against the resources of mega-corporations. Sometimes small businesses just go bankrupt. Sometimes the big companies merely buy out the smaller ones. Mostly though, companies merge to form one bigger unit. Airlines merge all the time. So do accounting firms. And now, so do scammers.

Face it, the scammers’ audience shrinks every year as more and more people become hip to scams. There’s simply not enough innocent customers out there to justify keeping the same level of scam callers and spammers on the payrolls. So the scammers are merging. Expect to come across the scam shown below very soon.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: observations | Tags: apocalyptic, bankrupt, businesses, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, commerce, cookbook, De Lancey, dictator, extrended warranty, good food, hunks, Lutheran, merge, mergers, murders, Nigerian, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, scam, scammers, scams, spammers, thriller | Leave a comment

Iranian Sholeh Zard (Saffron Rice Pudding)

Posted on February 15, 2022 by pauldelancey

Iranian Dessert

SHOLEH ZARD
(Saffron Rice Pudding)

INGREDIENTS

1 cup rice
6 cups water (2 teaspoons more later)
½ teaspoon saffron or turmeric
2 teaspoons water
¼ cup butter
¼ cup rosewater
1¾ cups sugar
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons slivered almonds or pistachios

SPECIAL UTENSILS

colander
3 quart no-stick pot
8 ramekins or dessert cups

Serves 8. Takes 3 hours.

PREPARATION

Wash rice thoroughly in colander. (This removes the starch.) Add 6 cups water to large no-stick pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add rice. Stir with spoon. Reduce heat to low and simmer uncovered for 1 hour or until rice become completely tender. Stir just enough to prevent burning.

Add saffron and 2 teaspoons water to small cup. Stir. Add saffron/water, butter, rosewater, and sugar to pot. Simmer at low heat for 40 minutes until mixture becomes a pudding. Stir occasionally to prevent burning.

Ladle pudding into ramekins. Garnish with cinnamon and slivered almonds or pistachios.

TIDBITS

1) Life is hard, full or minor irritants. Life is very hard, filled with disasters.

2) If there were only same way or some phrase we could utter to make things magically better.

3) There is! It used to be “Abra cadabra” until it passed its Use By Date.

4) Now we must say, “Sholeh Zard.” Okay, I’ll go first. “I want a Mercedes(tm). Sholeh zard!” Wow, a Mercedes just appeared in my driveway. Now, it’s your turn to say the magic words.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: abra cadabra, almonds, apocalyptic, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, dessert, hunks, Lutheran, magic, Mercedes, mushrooms, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, pistachios, pudding, ramekins, recipes, rice, saffron, sholeh zard, thriller, use by date | Leave a comment

Evil Things – Printers

Posted on February 14, 2022 by pauldelancey

Evil incarnate

Two days, I assembled tax forms. I entered some data as well. All was right with the world. Indeed, the bluebirds sang.

Not so much yesterday. The bluebirds fell to cussing as evil stalked the land.

In the form of a printer. My previous printer, which was as a goodly a printer that could be expected. It would read both sides of a two-sided document. Then it would scan or copy the forms, depending on the chore. The bluebirds sang.

But it died. The bluebirds cried. I supposedly bought the replacement model. It cost a bit more.

Little did I know that Satan had breathed a bit of his evil spirit into the new printer. It didn’t scan both sides of a page! That’s so important to me. And what the heck, how can a replacement model, a more expensive model, cost more and not do as much.

The evil onslaught continued. It took me 8.5 hours to get the printer to do any sort of scanning at all. Apparently, Hewlett Packard had not seen fit to provide 8, eight!, necessary updates. So, now I can scan, but I have to do manual steps and this takes much longer. We are living in perilous times, gentle readers. Watch your printer. Just don’t show fear. They can sense fear. When they do, they’ll ruin your print job and steal your soul. Take care.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: observations | Tags: apocalyptic, bluebirds, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, copy, De Lancey, evil, fear, good food, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, printers, recipes, scan, thriller | 2 Comments

Unbridled Fun – Doing Taxes

Posted on February 13, 2022 by pauldelancey

Yes, dear readers, that’s right. I’m doing taxes. I could do research and write up a longer blog, but I’m having difficulty tearing my self away from tax documents, gathering expenses, etc. It’s such fun! There will be a longer post tomorrow. In the meantime, behave yourselves.

Why look at anything else?

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Unbridled fun | Tags: apocalyptic, behave, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, De Lancey, hunks, Lutheran, murders, Paul De Lancey, Paul R. De Lancey, recipes, research, taxes, thriller, Unbridled fun | 2 Comments

Posts Tagged With: Chef Paul

Homework After All These Years