Evil Things – Printers

Evil incarnate

Two days, I assembled tax forms. I entered some data as well. All was right with the world. Indeed, the bluebirds sang.

Not so much yesterday. The bluebirds fell to cussing as evil stalked the land.

In the form of a printer. My previous printer, which was as a goodly a printer that could be expected. It would read both sides of a two-sided document. Then it would scan or copy the forms, depending on the chore. The bluebirds sang.

But it died. The bluebirds cried. I supposedly bought the replacement model. It cost a bit more.

Little did I know that Satan had breathed a bit of his evil spirit into the new printer. It didn’t scan both sides of a page! That’s so important to me. And what the heck, how can a replacement model, a more expensive model, cost more and not do as much.

The evil onslaught continued. It took me 8.5 hours to get the printer to do any sort of scanning at all. Apparently, Hewlett Packard had not seen fit to provide 8, eight!, necessary updates. So, now I can scan, but I have to do manual steps and this takes much longer. We are living in perilous times, gentle readers. Watch your printer. Just don’t show fear. They can sense fear. When they do, they’ll ruin your print job and steal your soul. Take care.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.