Posts Tagged With: strawberry

Strawberry Bundt Cake

American Dessert

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STRAWBERRY BUNDT CAKE

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INGREDIENTS – CAKE
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1 pound fresh strawberries (1 ounce more later)
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoons baking soda
3¼ cups flour
¾ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup butter, softened (2½ tablespoons more later)
3 eggs
1½ cups sugar
½ tablespoon vanilla extract (½ teaspoon more later)
⅔ cup vegetable oil
1 cup whole milk (2½ tablespoons more later)
2 drops red food coloring gel
no-stick baking spray
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INGREDIENTS – GLAZE
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1½ ounces fresh strawberries
2½ tablespoons butter, softened
1¾ cups confectioners’ sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2½ tablespoons whole milk
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric blender
electric beater
10″ bundt pan
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Serves 12. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION – CAKE
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add 1 pound strawberries to electric blender. Puree strawberries. Add baking powder, baking soda, flour, and salt to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add  ⅔ cup butter, eggs, sugar, ½ tablespoon vanilla extract, vegetable oil, and 1 cup whole milk to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add pureed strawberries and red food coloring gel. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended.
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Gradually add in the dry mix from the small bowl into the liquid mix of the large bowl. Mix with electric beater set on low until just combined into batter.
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Generously spray bundt pan with no-stick baking spray Pour batter into bundt pan. Level batter with spatula. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Use butter knife to loosen cake from the bundt pan Let cake cool for 15 minutes. Invert cake onto plate. Let cool completely before icing.
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PREPARATION – GLAZE
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Add 1½ ounces fresh strawberries to blender. Puree strawberries..Add pureed strawberries, 2½ tablespoons butter, confectioners’ sugar, and ½ teaspoon vanilla extract to medium mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on low until well blended. .
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Gradually add 2½ tablespoons whole milk or until glaze thickens and is just pourable. Pour glaze evenly over the cooled cake. Allow glaze to drip down the size. Let set for 5 minutes before serving.
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TIDBITS
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1) Strawberries were known as wartsberries in France in from 1178 to 1347.
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2) All Medieval peasants suffered greatly from warts.
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3) Their wart-free neighbors shunned them. “Ew,” said the nearby farmers.
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4) Downcast, dispirited, and depressed, the wart-ridden peasants joined the King’s army in hopes of campaigning abroad.
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5) What luck!. The Hundred Years War erupted, started even, in France in 1347.. Off went the English to France.  Archer Jack Strawberry wasn’t even on French soil for six minutes when he stumbled, falling face first into a wartberry patch.
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6) When he arose and drew himself up to 90 percent of his full height, his archer companions gasped. His warts has completely disappeared. “By St. George’s darned socks, it’s a miracle,” said Elric Sod. And with Elric’s impimatur, the entire English army rolled and rolled into the wartsberry patch. Grateful archers, men at arms, and knight renamed the wartberry to, strawberry in his honor.
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7) I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it happen, but when an army miraculously loses all its warts, it becomes world beaters. “God is clearly on our side,” said Sod. “Who can stand against us.”
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8) And indeed, no French army could stand up to the wartless English.
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9) Then everything changed. In 1428, the Archangel Michael appeared to Joan, a peasant botanist living in the town of Do Re Me. “Joan, take your botanical knowledge to King Charles VIII; as he surely has none.”
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10) So Brainy Joan made her way to the royal court. “Your majesty,” said she. “To defeat the cursed English, you must destroy every strawberry patch in France. Without strawberries, warts will once more sprout like weeds upon the soldiers. Their morale will plummet and your army will vanquish them time after time. Impressed by Joan’s piety and botanical acumen., Charles VIII did what she said. The French would evict the English for good. Brainy Joan would become Saint Joan. Yay.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Strawberry Shampoo

STRAWBERRY SHAMPOO

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup Castile Soap
2 teaspoons coconut oil
½ cup distilled water
15 drops strawberry fragrance oil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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1 cup bottle
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PREPARATION
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Add all ingredients to bottle. Stir with fork, or shake, until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) This shampoo uses strawberry fragrance oil.
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2) The medium-sized cargo box for Ford’s F150 can haul 59,653 medium sized strawberries.
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3) However Uranus, which is much larger than the F150’s cargo box or even this entire truck, occupies the same space as 2.31 * 1027 strawberries.
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4) From this we can deduce that 3.87 * 1022 F150 medium sized cargo beds can fit in Uranus.
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5) You didn’t think Uranus was that big, did you?
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6) NASA never divulges this information.
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7) Our space agency doesn’t even show us Santa Claus’ path on Christmas Eve. Just another thing they keep to themselves..
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8) However NORAD, North American Aerospace Defense Command,  does on noradsanta.org.
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9) Well! I know which agency is getting chocolate chip cookies for Christmas and which isn’t.
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10) In flagrantre dilecto is Latin for “Getting caught in the act of committing a crime.” However, In flagrantre oderem means getting caught in the act of adding a fragrance to something.
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11) Knowing all these awesome tidbits will give you a leg up, should you ever compete on Jeopardy!
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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My Day Today

I made corned beef and a strawberry smoothie. These aren’t big things, but it was the first time since surgery that I felt up to doing them. I also went for a short walk. Go me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: about me | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dragon Fruit Jam

American Appetizer

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DRAGON FRUIT JAM

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INGREDIENTS
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1 dragon fruit
2 tablespoons lemon juice
½ cup water
3½ tablespoons pectin
¾ cup sugar
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 * ½ cup Mason jars. (They really must be hot and newly sterilized.)
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Makes 1 cup. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION
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Peel dragon fruit. Cut dragon fruit into ½” cubes. Add dragon fruit, lemon juice, and water to pot. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir enough to prevent burning and until well blended. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes or until dragon fruit become quite soft. Stir enough to prevent burning and until well blended..
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Add pectin. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir slowly and just enough to prevent burning. Reduce heat to low-medium for 10 minutes or until pectin dissolves completely. Add sugar. Stir until sugar dissolves completely. Bring to low, or rolling, boil using medium-high heat. Boil for 1 minute. Stir slowly and just enough to prevent burning. Skim off any foam from this jam. Remove from heat.
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Spoon jam into hot, newly sterilized Mason jars. Let cool for 10 minutes. Store in refrigerator for 3 weeks.
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TIDBITS
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1) This recipe uses dragon fruit. Dragon fruit is a tropical fruit chock full of antioxidants, fiber, and iron. It might improve metabolic health, Give it a try.
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2) One dragon fruit is not the same as one dragon and one fruit, such as a strawberry. Don’t confuse them. Dragon fruit can be found in supermarket. Dragon fruit will let you take it home with no fuss to speak of.
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3) Dragons however remain difficult to find. I’ve seen a feral dragon in some years now. All to be fair, I don’t venture out much anymore. You need to bribe a dragon with a gold coin in order to get it to follow you home. I urge care and speed when cutting a dragon into ½” cubes. They don’t like it! May I suggest first honing your slicing skills with the easy-going strawberry?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawbery Shea Butter Soap

STRAWBERRY SHEA BUTTER SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ pound fresh strawberries
1 teaspoon red mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
2 pounds shea butter soap base
1 teaspoon strawberry fragrance oil
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Remove stems from strawberries. Puree strawberries and set aside. Add red mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Cut shea butter base into 1″ cubes. Add shea butter base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 seconds. Stir after every time. Add red mica powder/ isopropyl mix and strawberry fragrance oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 5 minutes.. (This inhibits strawberry bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add pureed strawberry. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter. Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) What if you need to compete in Olympic weightlifting and then go right away to a fancy dinner where you’re going to propose to your true love? You really don’t want to show up sweaty and stinking. You truly want to shower and scrub yourself all over with Strawberry Shea Butter Soap. You’d be clean and smell like happiness. But what if you don’t have the time for a shower? What to do? May I suggest ditching your cast-iron weights in favor of ones made from Strawberry Shea Butter? The heat generated from you workout will make the strawberry soap melt all over you. You’ll be getting squeaky clean while you compete for the gold.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Milk

American Dessert

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STRAWBERRY MILK

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INGREDIENTS
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6 cups milk
1½ pounds fresh strawberries*
¾ cup sugar
½ cup water
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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blender
fine mesh colander
7 cups of mason jars or other airtight containers.
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* = There are only 4 ingredients providing flavor in this recipe. Please use fresh strawberries.
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PREPARATION
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Remove stems from strawberries. Cut strawberries into 4 pieces. Add strawberry bits, sugar, and water to pan. Bring to soft boil (just starting to bubble) using medium heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes or until strawberry bits become tender and mixture starts to thicken.
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Remove from heat. Add strawberry mixture to blender. Puree mixture until smooth. If strawberry bits remain, add strawberry puree to colander. Strain strawberry puree through colander.
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Add strained strawberry puree and milk to Mason jars. Mix with long wooden spoon. Will last 2-to-3 days in an airtight containers in the refrigerator.
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TIDBITS
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1) Many people in Medieval Europe believed in witches. Witches could strike you down with nasty illnesses, make off with you cattle, and turn into a newt. So naturally, peasants back then wanted to catch and burn witches. How did you determine if someone was a witch? Why, she had warts all over her face. People suffering from warts got burned at the stake all the time. While bad for suggested witches, such a practice went a long way to eliminating warts. The advent of modern law  meant that no more people went up in flames. Unfortunately, proving witchcraft beyond the shadow of a doubt, means that warts have made a comeback. There is a tradeoff to everything.
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2) It’s exciting to note that “straw” spelled backwards is “warts.” Indeed, Medieval chefs found that “straw”berries canceled out “warts.” Warty faced peasants drank strawberry milk to get better. No more warts, no more witches. No more burnings, a good thing surely. If you ever suspect the law wants to try you as a witch, may I suggest you make this Strawberry Milk right away?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Strawberry Glycerin Soap

STRAWBERRY GLYCERIN SOAP

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INGREDIENTS
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½ pound fresh strawberries
1 teaspoon red mica powder
2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol
isopropyl alcohol or butter to coat molding
2 pounds glycerin soap base
1 teaspoon strawberry fragrance oil
isopropyl alcohol to spray away bubbles forming on soap
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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soap mold
spray bottle
microwave
soap slicer (optional)
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­Makes 10½ bars, 1″ wide. Takes 3 hours 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Remove stems from strawberries. Puree strawberries and set aside. Add red mica powder and 2 tablespoons isopropyl alcohol to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended.
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Spray silicon mold with isopropyl alcohol or rub with butter.
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Cut glycerin base into 1″ cubes. Add glycerin base to large glass measuring cups. Melt base in microwave with timer set at 30 second. Stir after every time. Add red mica powder/ isopropyl mix and strawberry fragrance oil. Stir with knife until well blended. Let sit for 2 minutes or until well blended.. (This inhibits strawberry bits from settling to the bottom of the soap mold.) Add pureed strawberry. Mix with knife until well blended.
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Pour into soap mold. If desired, lightly spray bubbles with isopropyl alcohol to make them disappear. Let soap sit for 3 hours. Use soap slicer to cut soap into slices 1″ wide.
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TIDBITS
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1) If you arm your military with strawberry glycerin soap, it will smell nice. However, a nice scent never terrifies the enemy. If you make your strawberry soaps with nitroglycerin, they will explode with horrifying results. Indeed, culinary strategists believe the Pentagon is already mailing such soaps to America’s enemies. NGSSs, nitroglycerin soaps, are expected to work best on foes who place a premium on cleanliness.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: soap | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Strawberry Cucumber Water

American Appetizer

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STRAWBERRY CUCUMBER WATER

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INGREDIENTS – MAIN
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½ pound strawberries (¼ pound more later)
5″ cucumber (2½” more later)
8 cups water
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INGREDIENTS – GARNISH
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¼ pound strawberries
2½” cucumber
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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mandoline (optional)
colander
2½ quart or larger pitcher
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Serves 8. Takes 30 minutes plus 3 hours to refrigerate
PREPARATION – MAIN
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Remove stems from ½ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 5″ cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Add strawberry slices, cucumber slices, and water to pitcher. Refrigerate for 3 hours. Strain contents through colander. Discard solids. This is the infused water. Return infused water to pitcher. Keeps for 3 days in refrigerator.
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PREPARATION – GARNISH
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Remove stems from ¼ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 2½” cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Garnish with strawberries and cucumber slices before serving. Stir 2 times with long wooden spoon.
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TIDBITS
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1) Engineers do extensive analysis before building. This usually includes constructing a scale model and subjecting it to all sorts of tests.
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2) In this case a city, which shall remain nameless, wanted to build a bridge to tout their thriving strawberry and cucumber industries. This meant making the world’s first strawberry/cucumber bridge. Alas, the bridge failed on the very first and simple test. With the strawberry slices collapsing catastrophically under the weight of cucumber slices. (See the submerged red slices above.) A bridge that collapses under the weight of small vegetable slices is likely to collapse under the weight of vehicular traffic and even pedestrian traffic. City planners abandoned the fruit hybrid bridge.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Balsamic Chicken

American Entree

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STRAWBERRY BALSAMIC CHICKEN

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INGREDIENTS­
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⅔ pound (about 2 cups) strawberries
4 chicken breasts
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ cup balsamic vinegar (½ cup more later)
½ cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
½ tablespoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon fresh basil
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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8″ * 12″ casserole dish.
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Serves 4.  Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Remove stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 4 pieces. Rub pepper and salt over chicken breasts. Add chicken breasts and ½ cup balsamic vinegar to mixing bowl. Turn chicken breasts until they are completely coated. Let marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour. Add chicken to casserole dish. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink inside.
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Add strawberry bits. Simmer at low heat for 4 minutes or until strawberry bits start to lose their shape. Add a chicken breast to each plate. Ladle strawberry glaze over chicken breasts. Goes well with rice or spinach.
Add strawberry bits. Simmer at low heat for 4 minutes or until strawberry bits start to lose their shape. Add a chicken breast to each plate. Dice basil. Ladle strawberry glaze over chicken breasts. Garnish with basil. Goes well with rice or spinach.
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TIDBITS
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1) At the first Iowa Caucus, the Iowa Strawberry Growers Association (ISGA) made a mad attempt to showcase their strawberries to the nation. In return the “strawberry candidates” wore strawberries on their lapels. Political analysts counted strawberries distributed to determine the ISGA’s strength. This was the first strawberry poll. Strawberry poll got shortened to straw poll to save newspaper ink. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Made a Birthday Cake

I’ve recovered enough from yesterday to make a birthday cake. Alas, it’s not my best effort, but still the cake was homemade. The strawberry frosting was also frosting. This cake was my first attempt to use fondant.

I also made strawberry glycerin soap, using real strawberries.

All this activity kept me off the streets, where I would only have fomented revolution.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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