Posts Tagged With: Luxembourg

These People Will Run America in 2016

B&Ctasty

Everybody likes bacon and chocolate. Few people like our current politicians. It stands to reason that the Bacon & Chocolate Party will sweep to victory in 2016. Who are these people? Mostly Facebook friends. Some, I’ve even met. All nice people. That’s enough for me to appoint them to important positions.

America’s Future Government

President – Paul R. De Lancey
Vice President – Candace C. Bowen
Secretary of Agriculture – Launa McNeilly
Secretary of the Crisper – Michelle Hickman
Secretary of the EPA – Lee Diogeneia
Secretary of State – Mark Kennet
Tsar of Holidays – Kathleen Smiley
Ambassador to Cote d’Ivoire – Stacy Fisher
Ambassador to Cuba – Daphne Anne Humphrey
Ambassador to Fiji – Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Ambassador to Luxembourg – Donna Cavanagh
Head of the Secret Service – Mike Allsopp
Speaker of the House – John Rucker

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Ideals

1. Bacon is good.
2. Chocolate is good.
3. We will save our bees.
4. Car alarms suck. They’re loud, go off all the time, and they no longer serve a purpose.
5. We don’t like people who block aisles in supermarkets.
6. We like to take naps.

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Current Campaign Chest

$0.00*

* = There is some dispute over this. Some say a person found a quarter under the sofa cushions and donated it to Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Super PAC.

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Corporate Sponsor

HumorOutcasts Press

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul R, De Lancey, America’s next presidentCoverFrontFinal

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

 

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Categories: humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

The Chicago Cubs, The Greatest Threat to World Peace

The greatest threat to world peace is the Chicago Cubs. They last won a world series in 1908. Since then America has fought two world wars,  and other wars while not as big as these two, still replete with distressing levels of violence.

Since the last Cubs’ last World Series win our boys have fought in: France, Belgium, Netherlands, Luxembourg, Germany, Italy, Austria, Czechoslovakia, Morocco, Algeria, Tunisia,  Russia, South Korea, North Korea, China, Philippines, Micronesia, Romania, New Guinea, Indonesia, Burma, Haiti, Santo Domingo, Grenada, Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan, USA (against the Japanese), Japan, Somalia, Vietnam, and Panama.

This doesn’t even count all the countries where our Air Force has fought nor all of our special ops. My apologies to veterans who fought in a country that escapes my feeble memory.

But the unassailable fact remains; America has been doing a heck of lot of fighting since the Chicago Cubs last won the big one. The conclusion is obvious. Because of the Cubs steadfast avoidancel of excellence, violence stalks the globe.  If ever there were a time for a global-prayer day, it is now. Pray for world peace. Pray for a Cubs Series win. It is the only way it will ever happen.

And did you know that the Louisiana Purchase of 1803 is closer to the Cubs’ last world championship than it is to present?

– Paul the Historian

4novels

Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

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