Posts Tagged With: corporate sponsor

Coins Under Your Sofa Cushions Fundraiser for the Bacon & Chocolate Party

B&Ctasty

Right now the nerve center of B&C is the office in my home. It gets crowded when Number One Son uses the other computer in the room. Sometimes Number Two Son kicks me off this computer claiming homework needs to be done. Sometimes, my wife claims I spend too much time on the computer and I better come out now. So, campaigning for the presidency halts. If I don’t campaign, I won’t win the presidency. If I don’t win the presidency, Bacon & Chocolate’s vision for this great nation will be thwarted. What can be done?

I’m glad you asked. B&C has recently learned that really nice, big homes can be rented in Fuggerei, Germany for the rather modest price of 88c. We need one home for the presidential race and another for all our gubernatorial and congressional races. Heather Rhoads has graciously offered to pay the rent for one home. Will you match her generosity? Partially? How about a penny? I know people’s paychecks are often spoken for before they even get them. But I know you want to help Bacon & Chocolate’s glorious cause. Where can you find the spare coins? Where people of the world have always found them. Under their sofa cushions. Please all the pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters you find to the Bacon & Chocolate Party.*

– Paul R, De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party

* = Were  not currently set up to accept funds from fund raising. We need to have a fund raiser to get funds so we can get set up to accept funds from fundraisers.

CoverFrontFinal

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts Press, B&C’s official sponsor, and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

 

 

 

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Categories: Bacon & Chocolate, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

These People Will Run America in 2016

B&Ctasty

Everybody likes bacon and chocolate. Few people like our current politicians. It stands to reason that the Bacon & Chocolate Party will sweep to victory in 2016. Who are these people? Mostly Facebook friends. Some, I’ve even met. All nice people. That’s enough for me to appoint them to important positions.

America’s Future Government

President – Paul R. De Lancey
Vice President – Candace C. Bowen
Secretary of Agriculture – Launa McNeilly
Secretary of the Crisper – Michelle Hickman
Secretary of the EPA – Lee Diogeneia
Secretary of State – Mark Kennet
Tsar of Holidays – Kathleen Smiley
Ambassador to Cote d’Ivoire – Stacy Fisher
Ambassador to Cuba – Daphne Anne Humphrey
Ambassador to Fiji – Amy Buckheister Gettinger
Ambassador to Luxembourg – Donna Cavanagh
Head of the Secret Service – Mike Allsopp
Speaker of the House – John Rucker

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Ideals

1. Bacon is good.
2. Chocolate is good.
3. We will save our bees.
4. Car alarms suck. They’re loud, go off all the time, and they no longer serve a purpose.
5. We don’t like people who block aisles in supermarkets.
6. We like to take naps.

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Current Campaign Chest

$0.00*

* = There is some dispute over this. Some say a person found a quarter under the sofa cushions and donated it to Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Super PAC.

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Corporate Sponsor

HumorOutcasts Press

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul R, De Lancey, America’s next presidentCoverFrontFinal

Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on amazon.com.

 

Categories: humor, politics | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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