Posts Tagged With: Paraguay

Betty Ponterio

Antarctic Appetizer



ice cubes

Serves 1. Takes 1 minute


Add ice cubes to glass. Add beverage.


1) The Shirley Temple beverage is named after the famous child actress. The Roy Rogers is named after the famous singing-cowboy actor.

2) So it was, the Betty Ponterio was named after the great woman who created this remarkable, versatile beverage.

3) For it was on an unseasonably warm October day that Betty the Antarctic Explorer uttered the fateful words, “Maybe drinks recipes with all that ice.”

4) It was all so blindingly obvious after she said it, but up until then no one in Antarctica had come up with a good use for all its ice.

5) Savvy British polar explorers brought back ice to the mother country. Soon all the British wanted ice in their drinks. No host or hostess would even consider throwing a party without plenty of ice.

6) Ice became more valuable than oil No government could hope to stay in power without an adequate ice stock pile. Nation after nation build up its navy to guard its ice transports. Land-locked countries, such as Austria, Paraguay, and Chad were screwed.

7) International tensions soared. We were on the precipice of a third world war.

8) Then Ms. Ponterio spoke up again, “Why not use the ice from your refrigerator’s ice makers? Why not buy bags of ice at your stores?”

9) The solution to world peace was that simple..Ice makers had been in fridges for years for no apparent reason. Same thing with ice sold at local supermarkets. People had never used that ice, so they never even saw it anymore. Thanks to Betty, we noticed the ice in our midst.. Easy ice at hand, we reduced our navies. We embraced peace. I expect a Noble Prize very soon for Ms. Ponterio.

Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on

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Paraguayan Corn Bread (sopa Paraguaya)

Paraguayan Entree

(sopa Paraguaya)


6 tablespoons butter (used three times for 1, 2, and 3 tablespoons)
1 large sweet onion (or onion)
1 2/3 cups whole milk (or milk)
2 cups cornmeal
3/4 cup grated mozzarella (or white cheese)
1/2 cup grated cheddar (or yellow cheese)
3 eggs
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper


bread-loaf pan


Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

Mince onion. Separate egg yolks from egg whites. Melt 6 tablespoon butter. Coat sides of bread-loaf pan with 1 tablespoon of melted butter. Add 2 tablespoons of melted butter to frying pan. Sauté the onions at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften. Reduce heat to low. Add milk, stirring constantly. Do not let milk boil. Reduce heat to warm if necessary. Add cornmeal gradually, stirring constantly until mixture becomes well blended.

Remove pan from heat. Add mozzarella cheese and cheddar cheese, 3 tablespoons melted butter, salt, and pepper. Mix with fork until cheese melts. Add egg yolk and stir again with whisk until well this batter is well blended. Stir eggs white with whisk in another mixing bowl until stiff peaks form. Fold egg whites carefully into batter.

Pour batter into buttered bread-loaf pan. Bake at 400 degrees for 30-to-40 minutes or until corn bread is golden brown or until toothpick comes out clean after insertion.


1) Paraguay became independent from Spain in 1811. For years, maps listed the country as “Parrot Gay”. Some centuries ago a Jesuits settlers befriend a homosexual parrot. They named the gay parrot, Frank. The settlers eventually ate Frank. This region could have been called Parrot à l’orange.

2) Paraguay is now rated “boring” by many travelers.

3) In1812, Portugal helped celebrate Paraguayan independence by invading the little country. A period of anarchy followed by a dictatorships. None of these dictators did anything fun, such as promote soccer or karaoke.

4) Indeed, the dictatorship of Francisco Lopez, 1862 – 1869, was a particularly grumpy time. Not only were popular sports, arts and Wi-Fi connections neglected, but he managed to tick off the neighboring superpowers Argentina and Brazil. An unarguably unpleasant war followed where some 80% of adult males perished without ever having a chance to sing in karaoke clubs or even dance in conga lines.

5) By 1900, there were again equal numbers between males and females had been reestablished. My goodness, the Paraguayans were busy between the years 1869 and 1900.

6) Okay, there wasn’t an exact equivalence of males and females as the census of 1900 showed an odd number of people, 635,571 in Paraguay.

7) A moderate number of fair-to-middling strikes, anarchy, repression, and rebellions filled Paraguayan life until 1930. Soccer probably came to Paraguay during this time. We know even less about the state of Paraguayan soccer and conga lines during this era. Historians are frustratingly mute on this. But we know everything about a gay parrot that was dined upon hundreds of years ago. Go figure.

8) In 1932 Paraguay went to war with another country starting with the letter “B,” Bolivia over the supposedly oil rich lands of Chaco. This was sponsored by Standard Oil of New Jersey, who backed Bolivia, and Royal Dutch Shell, who supported Paraguay. Paraguay almost went to war with Chile which starts with the letter “C.” However, Chile, had no corporate sponsor and sat out the entire Chaco conflict.

9) Chaco rhymes with taco. Tacos are from Mexico. Tacos are a peaceful food.

10) Peace between Bolivia and Paraguay broke out in 1935. Paraguay got most of the Chaco land and Bolivia got guaranteed access to the sea via the Paraguay River. So some good came out of the war. Paraguay was safe for karaoke, conga lines, and vaudeville.

11) But not for long, a military revolt resulted a new dictator in 1936. Unrest, repression, lutefisk vendors, and murders cursed the country for decades. Soccer managed to flourish; it is a resilient.

12) In 2000, a stable civilian government finally took over. The new leaders vigorously support karaoke and conga lines. (Vaudeville disappeared worldwide decades ago.) Tourists are starting to flock to Paraguay. The future looks bright for this county.

13) However, researchers from the University of Dili, recently concluded that Paraguayans were among the crabbiest people on Earth.

14) You’d be crabby too if your country missed out on vaudeville. But soccer, karaoke and conga will heal all. And boring would sound pretty darn good after centuries of conflict. So there.

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at:

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Chicken Zambezia From Mozambique

Mozambiquean Entree



3 cloves garlic
4 hot red peppers
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 cup coconut milk
1/2 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt

5 chicken breasts


If you are pressed for time, omit the 2 hours of marinating.

The first 6 ingredients make up the fixings for chicken piripiri sauce (Piripiri sauce is the national sauce of Mozambique and is modified slightly for each meat or main ingredient.) Mince garlic and hot red peppers. Combine garlic, red pepper, brown sugar, coconut milk, parsley, and salt in large mixing bowl.

Put chicken breasts in mixing bowl. Turn chicken around until they are coated with piripiri sauce. Put bowl in refrigerator and marinate for 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 475 degrees using broil setting. Put coated chicken breasts on grill in oven Put pan underneath coated chicken breasts to catch dripping piripiri sauce. Broil for 20 minutes, basting chicken with piripiri sauce 4 times, once every 5 minutes. Turn chicken breasts over. Again, broil for 20 minutes, basting chicken with piripiri sauce 4 times, once every 5 minutes.

5 minutes before chicken is ready, warm remaining piripiri sauce in saucepan on low-to-medium heat for 5 minutes. Remove chicken breasts from oven. Ladle warmed piripiri sauce over chicken breasts. Play Bob Dylan’s Mozambique and enjoy.


1) The song “Mozambique” began as a game with Bob Dylan and Jacques Levy trying to make as many rhymes for “ique.”

2) They wrote this song in 1975. Time to update it to pay homage to the culinary greatness of my hometown.

3) I like to spend some time in my Poway.
The local food is on display
All the diners love amore
It’s very nice to eat good pêche flambé
And maybe sip some Chardonnay.

Our long stop lights in Poway
Give plenty time to eat all day.
And everybody wants to dine they say
And treat our sweethearts to Chik-Fil-A.
The Muzak the speakers blast and play? Georges Bizet!

It’s very nice to sup consommé
When made from the seeds of caraway.,
Eating well-done steak with plum puree.
Flown all the way from Mandalay.

And though it’s time for leaving Poway.
You stop once more in that café.
Your body needs coffee from Paraguay
and maybe some dessert. What’s great you say
Chef Paul recommends his own Crème brulee!
From the hot ovens of his old Poway

– Chef Paul


My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at:

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hawaiian Eggs

Hawaiian Entree



2 medium onions
1 8 ounce can pineapple pieces
1 tablespoon rice wine vinegar
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
2 tomatoes or 1 pound can diced tomatoes
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon corn flour
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
6 hard-boiled eggs
1 cup rice
2 cups water


Mince onions. (You have purchased a small processor, haven’t you?) Drain water from diced tomatoes. Saute the onion in butter. Remove the pineapple pieces. Keep the juice.

Blend the corn flour, 2 tablespoons reserved pineapple juice, vinegar, ginger, diced tomatoes, pineapple pieces, cinnamon, salt, and pepper. Add this mix to pan and half of the remaining pineapple juice.

Heat on medium heat for 2 minutes. Simmer for 8 minutes more. Peel eggs. Cut eggs in half lengthwise. Cook rice according to instructions on package.

Cook rice and water according to instructions on bag. Spread this exciting rice on plate. Add eggs. Spoon sauce over rice and eggs.


1) “Pineapple” is slang for “hand grenade.” This term derives from the appearance of American hand grenades during World War II.

2) Hawaii is one of the only two states not to allow gambling. The other is Utah.

3) Pineapples were unknown to the ancient Romans.

4) Pineapples were originally native to Brazil and Paraguay. Brazil has won the most World Cups in soccer. Coincidence? Perhaps …

– Chef Paul


My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at:



Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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