Posts Tagged With: computer

Paul’s Awesome English Dictionary: Today’s Word – Snof

Posted on April 26, 2024 by pauldelancey

We’ve all done this. We’ve spent hours on the computer playing solitaire, posting 62 times on Facebook(tm), or solving the day’s Wordle(tm) puzzle. Finally virtue and common sense rear their beautiful head. We turn off the computer. Instantly, fleeting, brilliant thoughts erupt with the ferocity of Pompeii’s volcano.  You hastily restart the computer. It takes time. Will you forget your awesome, clever thoughts before your computer finishes rebooting?

These events bring us to

TODAY’S AWESOME PHRASE

SNOF

Awesome entry #37

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did Today

Posted on April 16, 2024 by pauldelancey

It hid under a floor mat

I got up, showered, and dressed.

My friend and  I went to a doctor. Then we went to an exercise class. Then we took lots of bags to what we thought to be a recycling building. It turned out to be a dumpster. The errand took such a long time. Let me tell you Google Maps(tm) is far from infallible.

As am I.

I got home and found out my cell phone was missing. I searched everywhere in my car. I called and called my phone. Nothing. I called my friend. She looked all over and called and called. Nothing. I tried tracking my phone via Google. Nothing. I tried tracking my phone an Apple app. It asked for my password. I didn’t know it as one of the younger natives only picked one to register my phone. The Apple app on my computer informed me that it would take days to get me a new password.

My friend then looked again.

She found it!

It was under one of the floor mats in her car. How was it possible for my phone to find its way there? The mind boggles.

Now I’m too tired and worn out to do anything. I had planned to scurry across the country causing mischief. Maybe tomorrow.

I hope you behaved yourself when I was looking for my phone.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did on Superbowl Sunday.

Posted on February 11, 2024 by pauldelancey

I had this for breakfast.

1) Woke up again, showered, and dressed. The streak continues.

2) Had cereal and sausage for breakfast. You know it’s only a matter of time before someone sells Sausage Cereal(tm). “With little sausage bits.”

3) Did lots of tax preparation. Such fun.

4) Made everyone one in Idaho a grilled-cheese sandwich. People liked them. They said the sandwiches were “yummy.”

5) Took a well deserved “book bath.” The book is The Rising Sun and is about Scotland’s disastrous attempt to colonize Panama in 1698.

6) Did lots and lots of latch hooking.

7) Said “You’re welcome” to Idahoans calling to say “thank you.”

8) I don’t have regular tv, so I didn’t watch the Super Bowl. Number Two Son provided a link to the game on my computer but I feared I would somehow bring down the global internet if I tried, so I didn’t.

9) Yahoo has something where you can click on something. If  you do, you see a little football and every 30 seconds or so, a short sentence appears and tells you what happened. The considerable charms on the Super Bowl were lost on me.

10) Time to watch another episode of “Medieval Legacy.” I rock.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: what I did | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

No Post Tonight: Technology Stinks

Posted on August 6, 2023 by pauldelancey

I took a picture with my cell phone. I was planning to use a photo on it for today’s blog. I tried to send the picture to my computer.

But no, it was impossible. I tried different ways over a fairly large stretch of time to transmit it to my computer’s email account. The cell phone prevented me each and everytime. You might think a $400 cell phone can do basic things like this and not repeatedly butt-call people.

The cell phone designers continually boast of their super duper apps, I just want it to do a few things correctly. But all I get is more death by enhancement.

Well, I guess I typed up a post after all. If you’ll excuse, I need to bang my head against a wall.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Computer Mistakes

Posted on August 15, 2022 by pauldelancey

The struggle is real.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook,  Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on  amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

My Backup Printer

Posted on July 19, 2021 by pauldelancey

My old Printer had achieved consciousness and taken an instant dislike to me. Now it’s dead. I ordered a new printer eight days ago. It got lost in transit. I ordered a second printer. This printer should arrive tomorrow. “But what about all those days you were without a printer?” I hear you say. Don’t worry, whenever my computer printer goes AWOL I fall back on my trusty 6921-2 PencilWriter(tm). Sure, it’s not as fancy as my old HP OfficeJet Pro 6978(tm). But it always works and possesses many clear advantages over computer printers as the picture below demonstrates.

6921-2 Pencil Writer

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Motivational Poster #5, Finding Quiet Time

Posted on June 16, 2021 by pauldelancey

Worries and cares besiege us from all sides. Numerous must-do-now projects clamor for our attention. Our nerves are on edge around the clock. We grow ever more irritable. We need time to calm down, time to think unhurried thoughts, time to dwell on loved ones, or even just time to clear mind and think of nothing. Just be. But we know this special time is impossible. There is no place to do this, thanks to cell phones, where we can’t be contacted by our bosses. If we work for ourselves at home, we know that when we relax we really could be working on some project. Our computer beckons, beckons, and soon enough we obey. We are back at work getting stressed and more stressed.

If only there were a place where we could meditate unmolested. A place where even if the world contacts us we can legitimately say, “Sorry, but I won’t be able to do anything at all for some hours. Sorry.”

Where is this paradise of meditation?

Your local DMV. Just get in line, for anything really, and you can kiss the outside world goodbye for hours. Now find your quiet place inside your mind and let your thoughts roam free.

The DMV, recharging souls for nearly a century.

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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Today’s Post is Short

Posted on June 14, 2021 by pauldelancey

Hi. I had rather a tough day today, so I won’t write much. I spent a lot of time today unsuccessfully trying to help a friend. Sorry about the vagueness. Later, I was eating a sandwich when I sneezed quite hard. Some went on the computer screen. Some went into my stomach. Some went down my windpipe. I coughed violently for 20 minutes. My lungs burned. I felt dizzy. Now, I am exhausted.

So when people tell you not to eat in front of your computer, they mean it.

My computer screen.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Cool Mocha Coffee

Posted on February 21, 2016 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

COOL MOCHA COFFEE

INGREDIENTSCoolMocha-

3 cups hot, brewed coffee
⅔ cup sugar
¾ cup semisweet chocolate chips, milk chocolate if you prefer it sweeter
3½ cups milk

SPECIAL UTENSILS

glass jars with lids if you wish to save the coffee. This coffee will keep about as long as milk does.

Makes 7 cups. Takes 10 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add coffee and sugar to large mixing bowl. Stir with fork until sugar dissolves. Add chocolate chips. Stir with whisk until chocolate melts completely and blends completely with coffee. Add milk. Stir with whisk until blended. The mocha is ready to drink. Keep remaining mocha is sealed glass jars in refrigerator.

TIDBITS

1) I would have written the tidbits for this recipe earlier but for my worries about plate tectonics.

2) I mean what if the Earth’s plates shifted to such an extent that my computer ended up fifty miles from my bed. That would be quite a walk in my pajamas to finish a recipe.

3) And what if the resultant earthquake from some monumental shift of the Earth’s surface created a deep crevice between me and my computer? What if there were pumas in the crevice?

4) But with any luck the earthquake that created the puma-filled crevice in my office would destroy the pumas with debris from the ceiling.

5) Of course, this is not an entirely realistic fear. My fair town of Poway is in the middle of a giant surface plate. My bedroom, my office, and indeed the rest of the house would shift the same amount and in the same direction as the rest of the region. It would indeed be like catching a wave and sitting on top of the world, except that the speed of plate surfing is maybe an inch a year. Geo tubular, man.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Bad Artist #10, Computers

Posted on October 25, 2014 by pauldelancey

BadArtist10

 

Love Haiku

My dear sweet darling

I love you even more than

I hate computers.

– Paul R. De Lancey,  Bad Artist

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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