American Breakfast

HENRI HASSAN McTAGGART OMELETTE

INGREDIENTS

¼ onion
¼ cup fresh cilantro
½ red bell pepper
½ celery stalk
½ tablespoon sesame oil
½ tablespoon peanut oil
½ tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
4 ounces ground turkey
¼ cup mild yellow pepper rings
¼ teaspoon parsley
¼ teaspoon coriander
⅛ teaspoon thyme
⅛ cayenne
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon bacon bits
¼ cup heavy whipping cream
¼ cup salsa
½ cup five Italian cheeses
12 eggs (wow!)
no-stick cooking spray

Makes 4 three-egg omelettes

SPECIALTY ITEM

No-stick cooking pan

PREPARATION

Dice onion, cilantro, red bell pepper (Will a bull charge a red bell pepper?), and celery. In mixing bowl, blend eggs with a whisk. Pour the blended eggs into a measuring cup. It should make about 2 cups.

Add sesame oil, peanut oil, and olive oil to regular frying pan. Turn heat to medium. You should see little bubbles in the oil when it is hot enough. You can also drop a morsel of meat or onion in the pan. When the morsel starts to cook or move, the oil is ready.

Add ground turkey, onion, cilantro, celery, red bell pepper, yellow pepper rings, parsley, coriander, thyme, cayenne, cumin, and bacon bits. Stir occasionally. Cook at medium-high heat until turkey changes color. Add heavy whipping cream, salsa, and five Italian cheeses. Cook and stir until the cream is completely blended into the mix.

Spray a no-stick pan with a no-stick cooking spray. You need all the no-stick help you can get when making a true omelette. Virtuous living also helps.

(Ideally you want no friction at all so that you could get the spatula under the eggs without a problem. Of course, without friction you couldn’t hold a spatula, turn a doorknob, or walk without falling down.)

The following steps make one omelette. Repeat them to make four omelettes.

Turn heat to medium-high. Pour about ¼th of the blended eggs, or ½ cup, in to the no-stick frying pan.

Shake the pan gently so the eggs evenly cover the pan’s entire surface or makes an egg disc. Put lid on top to make it cook faster. Lift the lid every 15 seconds to see how the eggs are cooking. When the eggs are done to your desired firmness, add the turkey/vegetable mix.

Add ¼ of the pepper/spice/whipping cream/cheeses mix or enough to cover about ½ of the spatula. Put the mix in the center/left of the cooked eggs disc. Gently work the spatula under the left of the egg disc and carefully fold the eggs over the mix. Repeat the fold.

Now, you have something approaching a real omelette, not that flipped over, half-mooned shaped egg thing most restaurants today call omelette. After you have gotten some practice, try folding in the top and bottom of the egg disc a tad before rolling it over. A well made omelette is not only tasty, but a thing of beauty.

TIDBITS

1) Not many people know that during the great Civil War between the North and South that a French/Arab/Scot by the name of Henri Hassan McTaggart terrorized the good folks of Poway, California with his kilted band of desperadoes, Los Biente Bagpipes.

2) No farm, no stagecoach or gold shipment passing through Poway’s fertile valleys was safe from these marauders.

3) Los Biente Tam O’ Shanters always attacked upwind, volley after volley of cat-screeching sounds from their bagpipes. If for some reason that didn’t work they’d don their berets and charge, pistols blazing.

4) It took a whole division of infantry in 1865 to capture Los Biente Tam O’ Shanters. Even so, three got away.

5) Justice prevailed as Powegian courts sentenced the outlaws to hang after the trial.

6) As befitted Powegian tradition, Sheriff Harry Albondigas asked McTaggart what he wished for his last meal.

7) McTaggart asked for: onion, cilantro, red bell pepper, celery, peanut oil, sesame oil, extra-virgin olive oil, ground turkey, yellow pepper rings, parsley, coriander, thyme, cayenne, cumin, bacon bits, heavy whipping cream, salsa, five Italian cheeses, eggs, and no stick spray.

8) By the time the Powegian sheriff assembled these ingredients the remaining Tam O’ Shanters sprung McTaggart from jail.

9) Poway has been the culinary capital of French/Arab/Scottish fusion cuisine ever since. Foosh!

10) Or so people say.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.