Wanda Wunder #25
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
This is what I would have looked like if Pablo Picasso had painted me. If only the great artist had more time.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1½ pounds sirloin
2 teaspoons sesame oil (2 tablespoons more later)
3 garlic cloves
1½” ginger root
3 stalks green onions
1 tablespoon brown sugar
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons sesame oil (1 tablespoon per batch)
2 teaspoons toasted sesame seeds or sesame seeds
SPECIAL UTENSIL
electric griddle (Should you wish to use an outdoor or tabletop grill, please do so before slicing.)
Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
PREPARATION
Tightly wrap sirloin in plastic. Put in freezer for 40 minutes or until the meat is just firm enough to be thinly sliced. Slice sirloin into strips as thin as you can.
While sirloin firms, mince garlic. Grate ginger root. Dice green onions. Add garlic, ginger root, green onions, brown sugar, rice vinegar, 2 teaspoons sesame oil, and sesame seeds to mixing bowl. Mix with spoon until well blended.
Spread 1 tablespoon sesame oil over griddle. Set heat to medium high. Sear sirloin strips for 2 minutes or until the bottom side browns nicely. Turn strips over and sear again for 2 minutes or until the new bottom side also browns nicely. Serve with sauce on the side. Goes well with rice.
TIDBITS
1) John Keats belonged to the Second Generation of Romantic Poets. Keats’ poems were really good reads. Indeed, his poems often made number one on The Top Ten British Poems. Indeed, who can forget his evocative “Ode to a Nightingale?” No one who’s read it will ever forget it. Of course, those who’ve never read that poem will never forget it either. So no one, then.
2) Keats remains beloved by chefs everywhere for his brilliant culinary poetry. Ask any chef about their favorite poems. They will invariably reply, “Ode to a Three Ingredient Meal” and “The Rigors of the Twelve Hour Shift.” Keats, of course, is also famous for his memoir, Two Years Before the Cattle Herd. It’s a rip-roaring yarn. During that drive, Keats dazzled his fellow drovers by cooking up a slab of beef. An anagram-prone drover named the new dish “Steak” in honor of Keats. There.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
175% off! Looks like they’re giving back more money than we’re paying to buy it.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., Commander in Chief
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I might just run for president in 2024. The American electorate has the right to know if the presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party has the experience to run this great nation.
MY PRESIDENTIAL EXPERIENCE
Class President, 5th grade, Santa Anita Elementary School, Arcadia, California, 1967 – 1968
Ran for President of the United States – 2012
Ran for President of the United States – 2016 (This one really rankles. I was not certified as the winner despite carrying all but 50 states and D.C..
Ran for President of Venezuela in 2014.
Familiarity with Congress. I took a guided tour in 1980.
Finance. I’m not in debt. America has never had a recession while I’ve been president.
I’ve been to all 50 states.
Foreign Affairs. I’ve been to Asia, Europe, Australia, and the Caribbean without causing a single diplomatic incident. No, not one.
I can make mincemeat pies
There, I do have experience.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., Commander in Chief
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Deep Thought Man #8
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1 garlic clove
1 onion
5 cups chicken broth
7 cups water
8 allspice berries or ½ tablespoon ground allspice
1½ pounds chicken boneless
2 bay leaves
1¼ teaspoons salt
½ cup orzo or arborio rice, couscous, and pearl barley
½ cup fresh cilantro
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes
PREPARATION
Mince garlic clove and onion. Add chicken broth, water, chicken, allspice, bay leaves, garlic, onion, and salt to large pot. Bring to boil using medium-high heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce to medium heat and simmer for 50 minutes or until chicken is tender to the fork. Stir occasionally. Remove chicken. Shred chicken with 2 forks. Return shredded chicken to pot.
Add orzo to pot. Simmer at medium heat for 10 minutes or until orzo is done to your desired level of tenderness. Stir enough to keep from burning. While orzo cooks, dice cilantro. Garnish soup with cilantro.
TIDBITS
1) Every time you hesitate to eat some new meat or fish someone will say, “Try it, it tastes just like chicken.” I used to say, “Well, why can’t I have chicken then?”
2) But don’t get angry at your annoying would-be advisor. He has to say that. It’s in our genetic make up. Just like we have a gene to determine height; we all have a gene that makes us say, “Try it, it tastes just like chicken.”
3) However, the chicken in Chicken Orzo does taste like chicken. Indeed all chicken tastes like chicken. The reverse is also true.
4) One wonders why humanity evolved this gene millions of years ago. You’d think learning to walk upright, to cook with fire, to build huts, or to harvest wheat would have been much more useful to Early Man than saying, “Try it, it taste just like chicken.” Particularly, when chickens weren’t around. And what of the woman hearing this advice? She couldn’t understand all those words nor respond intelligently, particularly when the vocabulary of the time limited itself to “ugh” and “ugh!”
– Paul De Lancey, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
ON HOLD HAIKU #1
You put me on hold.
What’d I ever do to you
To be put on hold?
ON HOLD HAIKU #2
I am still on hold.
I feel my will to live leave.
I grow old waiting.
SPAMMED
You spammed me again.
I want to send you to Hell,
If they’ll accept you.
– Paul De Lancey, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
GRAMMAR HAIKU #1
It is a truism.
Good grammar and chocolates
Will impress your date.
GRAMMAR HAIKU #2
Remember tonight,
Lust is fleeting but grammar
Endures forever.
– Paul R. De Lancey, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
2¼ teaspoons yeast
1 cup water, lukewarm
3½ cups flour (2 tablespoons more later)
1 teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons flour
4 cups vegetable oil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1⅓ cups shredded cheese (Gouda, Edam, or your choice)
1 cup sour cream
Serves 8. Takes 2 hours 10 minutes.
PREPARATION
Add yeast and lukewarm water to mixing bowl. Mix with fork until yeast dissolves. Add 3½ cups flour, salt, and sugar. Mix with spoon until well blended. Knead mixture until it becomes a dough ball and is no longer sticky. Cover and let rise 50 minutes or until it doubles in size.
Dust flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Divide raised dough balls into 8 mini dough balls. Add mini dough ball to flat surface. Use hands to press mini dough balls into 6″ wide dough circles.
Add vegetable oil to large pot. Heat oil using medium heat. It is hot enough if a tiny bit of dough in the oil starts to dance. Carefully place a dough circle in the hot oil. Cook for 3 minutes until bottom side turns golden brown. Flip dough circle over. Cook for 2 minutes or until new bottom side turns golden brown. This is your fried bread. Reduce heat a bit if sides turn golden brown in fewer than 2 minutes. Raise heat a bit if it turns brown in more than 3 minutes.
Repeat for remaining 7 dough circles. You might need to reduce to heat to low with succeeding breads to prevent to dough circles browning before the inside is still doughy. Place fried breads on plate covered with paper towels. Pat dry. Spread sour cream equally over the 8 fried breads. Sprinkle mince garlic over cream cheese. Sprinkle shredded cheese over garlic.
TIDBITS
1) Everybody loves Lángos. Including soldiers of invading armies. Defending armies use this to their advantage. Whenever the wind blows toward the attackers, the defender cook thousands of fried breads. The attackers smell the alluring aroma and stampede the Lángos frying in oil. Just as the advancing soldiers reach the pots, the boiling oil bubbles over and scalds their hands. No one likes an oil owie. The attackers retreat. The war ends. Peace breaks out. All is good again.
Paul R. De Lancey, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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