Posts Tagged With: British

Turkey Drumsticks

American Entree

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TURKEY DRUMSTICKS

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INGREDIENTS­
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2¼ pounds* turkey drumstick
¼ cup butter
⅜ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon sage
1 teaspoon sea salt or salt
no-stick spray
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* = The weight of a drumstick varies wildly, from ½ pound to 2¼ pounds. The average weight for a turkey drumstick is ¾ pound.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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no-stick spray
meat thermometer
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Serves 3. Takes 1 hour 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Use paper towels to pat turkey dry. Melt butter in small pot, using low-medium heat. Add pepper, garlic powder, rosemary, sage, and sea salt. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Brush all of the melted butter over the turkey legs. Spray baking pan with no-stick spray. Add turkey legs to baking pan. Roast turkey for 1 hour 30 minutes at 360 degrees or until internal temperature reaches 175 degrees.
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TIDBITS
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1) Late 18th century The United States of America just buzzed with music. And why not? It had just gained its independence by defeating Britain, the greatest empire in the world. At first things looked bleak for the former Thirteen Colonies. British armies would win battle after battle with planned attacks. They would coordinate their assaults by rapping out orders in Picton code on their drums.
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2) Unfortunately, the Continental Army couldn’t send messages via drums, for Britain had hoarded all the drumsticks. Then just in time for the Battle of Saratoga, Private Carl La Fong observed, “We have plenty of wild turkeys. Why not use turkey drumsticks on our drums?” General Washington ordered this to be done. The Continentals now tapped out orders to a string of victories. Britain gave up fighting and granted America its independence in 1783. As General Cornwallis wrote, “We couldn’t defeat them once they got the turkey drumstick.” So every time we dine on turkey drumsticks or listen to a drum corps, we’re honoring the soldiers who won us our independence.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Mixtas (hot dogs)

Guatemalan Entree

Mixtas

(hot dogs)

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INGREDIENTS – GUACAMOLE
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3 avocados
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro (1½ tablespoons more later)
1 serrano chile (1 more later)
2 tablespoons lime juice
½ teaspoon oregano
¼ red onion (¼ more later)
¼ teaspoon salt (¼ teaspoon more later)
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INGREDIENTS – CHIRMOL
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1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro
¼ red onion
2 Roma tomatoes
1 serrano chile
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¼ teaspoon salt
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INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
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8 corn tortillas (Use fresh tortillas or ones from just opened package. Should be as wide as the sausages are long)
8 sausages* or hot dogs
1 cup shredded red cabbage
mustard from squeezable bottle
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* = Guatemalan longanizas or chorizos are traditional. However, they’re difficult to find. If so, use any longanizas or chorizos. Or simply white sausages or hot dogs. Use your sonic obliterator on any guest who gives you guff about the sausages you use.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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potato masher
sonic obliterator
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Serves 8. Takes 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – GUACAMOLE
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Peel and remove pit from avocados. Dice 1 tablespoon cilantro. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Dice ¼ red onion. Add avocados to 1st mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher until avocado becomes creamy. Add all other guacamole ingredients. Mix with fork until completely blended.
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PREPARATION – CHIRMOL
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Dice 1½ tablespoons fresh cilantro and ¼ red onion. Seed and dice 1 serrano chile. Use medium heat to heat pan for 30 seconds. Add Roma tomatoes. Cook Roma tomatoes for 8 minutes, turning them slowly or until they char on all sides.
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Add charred Roma tomatoes to 2nd mixing bowl. Mash with potato masher or fork until tomatoes become thoroughly mashed. Add all other chirmol ingredients. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
­Add sausages to pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Boil for 5 minutes.. While sausages boil, warm tortillas in pan, using low-medium heat. Put sausage in the middle of tortilla. Place guacamole on one side of sausage and shredded red cabbage on the other. Top with chirmol. Make a squiggle of mustard across the chirmol
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TIDBITS
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1) The American declared their independence in 1776 because they detested British taxation without representation. The former colonists had also developed their own, distinct way of doing things. One example of the American spirit was their devotion to the proto-saxophone. Indeed Josiah Parnell and his big band, The Revolutionaries, entertained the Continental Army between battles and marches. General George Washington would later say, “Many times in the great struggle, our despondent soldiers would have deserted in droves but for the peppy music of The Revolutionaries.”
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2) Foreign powers everywhere took this notion to heart. If you let the fractious natives indulge in proto-saxophone chamber music and big-band marches, they will mount a successful war of independence.
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3) Indeed Pablo Tiul charmed large crowds of peasants with his swinging proto-sax. They hung on every note. He even had scores of groupies. At first, the oppressive Spanish governor tolerated Tiul’s tunes at first. But as the spring of 1821 progressed, the mood of the populace grew ever more restless. Why did the peasant restlessness burgeon? Well, because the Spanish governor oppressed them. Tiul’s tunes took on harsher notes. Crowds shouted, “Los españoles se van a casa,” after every concert. But the Spanish didn’t go home. Instead, the Governor sent troops to confiscate Senor Tiul’s proto-saxophone. The crowd erupted with fury, calling the soldiers all sorts of hurtful names.
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4) The very next day, the leaders of all the peasant villages gathered in Tiul’s hamlet for Guatemalan hot dogs, as who would not? What shall we call this hot dog? “Why not, ‘Mi T,” said someone. (My T, where T is the first letter of Pablo’s last name.)
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5) “Let’s add “sax” to it,” said Maria Escuela, “make it Mitsax.” People applauded this idea. The naming of the hot dog settled, the assembly soon declared independence. Unfortunately, a typo in the independence posters changed “Mitsax” to “Mixtas.” Guatemala would so be free. Free from oppression, free to love saxophones and mixtas. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Tostada

Mexican Entree

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CHICKEN TOSTADA

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INGREDIENTS­
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2 garlic cloves
1 green onion
1 green or red bell pepper
⅔ red onion
⅔ small yellow onion
1 pound canned refried beans
½ cup crema Mexicana or sour cream
2 tablespoons olive oil
1⅓ pounds shredded chicken
2 teaspoons cilantro
½ teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon lime juice
¾ teaspoon Mexican oregano or oregano
⅛ teaspoon pepper
6 tostada shells
1½ cups shredded lettuce
½ cup shredded cotija cheese or Four Mexican cheeses
½ cup salsa (optional)
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PREPARATION
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Dice garlic, green onion, bell pepper, red onion, and yellow onion. Add refried beans and crema Mexicana to pot. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes until mixture is hot and creamy.
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Add garlic, green onion, bell pepper, olive oil, red onion, yellow onion, shredded chicken, cilantro, coriander, cumin, lime juice, Mexican oregano, and pepper to pan. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until chicken is no longer pink.
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Divide refried beans equally between tostadas. Put similar amounts of chicken/bell pepper mix on top of beans. Crown tostadas with lettuce, shredded cotija cheese, and salsa.
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TIDBITS
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1) Reginald “Chicken Tostada” Hernandez, terrorized the Arizona railroads in the early 1880s. People say Reginald held up the Southern Pacific and the Atlantic & Pacific railroads 17,223 times. Other, less feverish souls, believe this number to be too high. At any rate, his robberies gave him enough cash to maintain his colossal chicken-tostada habit. This last bit could very well be true as he dined on chicken tostadas for every meal he had since he turned 16. It’s a mystery, though, why his mother Senora Maria Hernandez named her son, Reginald. Perhaps it’s after the famous cricketer Reginald Smythe-Parkinson who toured Sonora with the British national cricket team in 1856.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Smoked SPAM

American Entree

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SMOKED  SPAM

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INGREDIENTS
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4 12-ounce cans SPAM(tm)
½ cup ham rub or pineapple-ham rub
SPECIAL UTENSILS
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wood chips (hickory, apple, or pecan)
smoker
electric thermometer
baking pan
tin foil
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Serves 4. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat smoker to 220 degrees. Add wood chips to smoker. Make diagonal cuts about ¼” deep on the top of the SPAM blocks. Rub ham rub all over SPAM blocks.
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When temperature of smoker reaches 220 degrees, place SPAM blocks on  grill Put thermometer in the thickest part of a SPAM block. Smoke until SPAM’s internal temperature reaches 160 degrees. This should take about 2 hours 30 minutes, varying greatly depending on your smoker. Let sit for 5 minutes or eat right away. Goes well with macaroni and cheese.
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TIDBITS
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1) Amps is an anagram for SPAM.  “Amplifiers” is slang for amps. Amplifiers were first built in 1803 by the reputedly young, inventor and guitarist, Keith Richards. There were no uses for them until Mr. Richards formed the first rock n’ roll band one year later. His group, The Drifting Pebbles toured the British coasts in 1804. Wow, they were popular! 172,000-estimates vary-showed up for his second concert, held in Bristol. The front-row fans went wild. The music goers seated farther back, not so much. His third and fourth venues drew only dozens.
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2) But Keith adapted. “Why not use my amps to project my music to everyone?” Bristol Stomp, January 30, 1804. His fans returned in droves and by horse and foot. Britain loved him. The amount of trees needed to feed his wood-feed electric power station devastated forests everywhere. Then, disaster struck in 1805. Napoleon again went on the rampage, winning land battles everywhere. Only the Royal Navy prevented his invasion of England. But the Royal Navy needed tons of oak to built its war ships. To satisfy its ravenous need, the navy requisitioned Richards’ wood. No wood, no concerts. To make things worse, the few concerts that still had wood for the amps were fertile hunting grounds for the Royal Navy’s press gangs. When word got out that going to a Drifting Pebbles concert meant be forced into the navy, Richard’s name became mud. His musical career tanked. But happily enough, he became part of The Rolling Stones in 1962. Now, everyone loves him.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Anglesey Eggs

British Breakfast

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ANGLESEY EGGS

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INGREDIENTS – POTATOES­
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1½ pounds russet, Yukon gold, or King Edward potatoes
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
2 large leeks
3 tablespoons butter (2 tablespoons more later)
½ tablespoon butter (1½ tablespoons more later)
1¼ cups milk
6 hard boiled eggs
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* = Caerphilly can be difficult to find and be expensive to buy online.
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE & TOPPING
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1½ tablespoons butter
5 teaspoons flour
1 cup milk
¼ cup breadcrumbs
½ cup grated, or crumbled, Caerphilly* cheese or Cheddar cheese (½ cup more later)
½ cup grated, or crumbled, Caerphilly cheese or Cheddar cheese
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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9″ casserole dish
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Serves 4. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION – POTATOES
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into eight pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes. Add pepper and salt. Mash potatoes with potato masher.
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While potatoes boil, remove stringy root end of the leeks. Remove the dark green tops. Wash leeks. (Dirt can get between the leek layers.) Slice leeks into circles ¼” thick..Add 3 tablespoons butter and sliced leeks. Sauté for 12 minutes at medium heat or until leek slices soften.
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Coat casserole dish with ½ tablespoon butter. Add leek circles and mashed potatoes to large mixing bowl. Mix with large spoon until well blended. Add leek circles/mashed potatoes to casserole dish. Smooth with spatula. Boil eggs. (6 minutes for soft-boiled and 12 minutes for hard-boiled.) Peel and cut eggs in half. Arrange egg halves evenly over mashed potatoes. Press eggs gently into the top of potato mix.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE & TOPPING
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While eggs boil, add 1½ tablespoons butter to pot. Melt butter using low heat. Add flour. Mix with spatula until well blended. Cook for 2 minutes at medium heat. Stir frequently. Add milk. Mix with spatula until well blended. Cook for 3 minutes at medium heat or until sauce thickens. Stir constantly. Add ½ cup cheese. Cook for 1 minute at medium heat or until cheese melts. Stir frequently. Ladle sauce over mashed potatoes and egg halves.
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Add bread crumbs and ½ cup cheese to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Sprinkle bread crumb/cheese mix over sauce. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until  golden brown and crispy.
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TIDBITS
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1) How many times has this happened to you? You’ve made scrambled eggs just before the start of the seventh game of the World Series. You made a lot. You get ready to clean the pan.
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2) But your friends in the den yell, “The game’s started.” As you head to the TV, you tell yourself that you’ll scrub off the eggs bits from the pan when there’s a lull in the ball game.
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3) But there is never is lull in the action. In fact you are watching the most exciting baseball game ever, and in the game of the World Series! And between the Mariners and the Pirates. They had gone decade after decade without appearing in baseball’s fall classic.
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4) It’s the sixth inning. Barney Bubble and Louis Courgette are both throwing perfect games. How exciting is that? But in the back of your culinary mind, you sense the eggs in the frying pan petrifying into rock. You sense a cup has fallen into the mixing bowl used for whisking the eggs. You feel the egg remnants in the mixing bowl cementing the cup to the bowl in a bond so strong that it will last until the Sun becomes a red giant and incinerates the Earth.
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5) “Why, oh why?” you think, “didn’t I make Anglesey Eggs for everyone. It’s ever so tasty and it leaves no egg glue.”
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6) Your synapses fire an existential thought. “Why didn’t I tell my wife to make us sandwiches?” But you knew why not. She tried to kill you the last time you tried this stunt. An all-woman jury acquitted her.
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7) 22 innings later, the Mariners win. A walk-home run ends it; it’ provides the only man on base. But there is no joy in your kitchen. That pan will never scrub clean. In fact, a rhino’s become fossilized in the egg strata that lies between the cup and the mixing bowl.
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8) How the rhino get into your kitchen without anyone noticing? Perhaps it tiptoed? How did it get between the cup and the mixing bowl? Perhaps it was on a diet.
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9) So plan your meals wisely.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Food to Die For: Paul’s 365 Meals of Murder, Mayhem, and Mischief – September 17

September 17: This entree honors British troops leaving  for South Africa to fight in the Boer War.*
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Soldiers never like leaving a place, whether it’s their beloved homeland or an exotic land that they’ve come to admire. So then, how much worse is it when you’re leaving to fight the Boers in South Africa? Very much worse. That enemy invariably fires back at you. With malicious intent. Suppose you’ve embarking from India with its verdant scenery and oh so good curry. As far as you know, South Africa has none of that. “Why am I going there?” you asked yourself.

Because you’ve been ordered to do as part of the war effort. And remember you’re not only one forced to go to South Africa. In the 1860s, British sugar-cane plantations needed ever more workers. So they imported Indians to work as indentured servants.

Being forced to get shot  repeatedly or to work without salary for a specific number of years is never fun. But since you’re already there, why not avail yourself of the amazing, tasty curry dishes this wonderful land has to offer?

The meal you should serve to commerate this day:  Bunny Chow

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Celebrate the drive and determination of the British soldiers and subjects who brought along their love of curry by sampling my favorite South African dish.

 

BUNNY CHOW

 

INGREDIENTSbunnychow

1 medium onion
3 medium potatoes
4 cardamom pods
1 cinnamon stick
½ teaspoon fennel seeds
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 tomatoes
2 pounds chicken breasts or lamb
3 fresh curry leaves
3 tablespoons Durban masala (See recipe)
⅓ cup chicken stock
2 1-lb whole white loaves
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Peel potatoes. Cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Add onion, potato, cardamom pods, cinnamon stick, fennel seeds, and vegetable oil to Dutch oven. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir constantly. Remove from heat.

Dice tomatoes. Cut chicken into 1″ cubes. Add Durban masala, Add tomato, chicken, curry leaves, and Durban masala to Dutch oven. Cook using medium heat for 5 minutes. Stir frequently. Add chicken stock. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 30 minutes or until potato is tender and chicken is no longer pink inside. Remove Dutch oven from heat. Discard cinnamon stick.

Slice bread loaf in half along its length. Use sharp knife to cut off most of the soft white bread from each half. Leave ½”-to-1″ of bread crust along the edges and bottoms. (The scooped out bread can be made into bread crumbs.) Ladle potato/tomato/chicken mixture into each hollowed-out loaf half. Garnish with coriander. Repeat for second bread loaf.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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What I Want for Christmas

I want one of these for Christmas. It’s easy to drive and park. It gets good gas mileage. It looks sturdy. All I need is to mount two machine guns in front and one on the back and none of the oafs in their RVs or SUVs would give me any guff.

from Express Cars UK

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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British Digestive Biscuits

British Dessert

DIGESTIVE BISCUITS

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cup flour
3 cups wheat flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1½ cups confectioners’ sugar
1 cup butter, softened
½ cup milk

SPECIAL UTENSILS

parchment paper
2 baking sheets

Makes 60 cookies. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add flour, wheat flour, baking powder, and sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk. Cut butter into ½” cubes. Knead with hands until mixture resembles bread crumbs. Add milk. Knead with hands until dough forms.

Roll out dough until it’s ⅛” thick. Cut dough into 2½” circles. Place parchment paper on baking sheet. Place biscuits on parchment. Prick biscuits all over with fork. (Make a design if you wish.) Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes or until biscuits turn golden brown. (You will most likely need to cook in batches.) Cool on wire rack. Goodness, these simple biscuits are tasty.

TIDBITS

1) From Professor Nicholas Baigent, London School of Economics, “ Did you know that they are seldom consumed in public places in the South of England, though lots are enjoyed privately with family and friends? In the Deep South here, dunking is thoroughly frowned upon. If you don’t want the job you are being offered, just dunk your biscuit in the cup of weak tea they will force upon you at the interview.”

2) Mitch Jagger attended the London School of Economics (LSE). However, he dropped out after only one year.

3) “He announced his attention of going into business but was worried about mathematics,”
– Walter Stern, Jagger’s tutor at the LSE

4) Mr. Jagger’s career path gained more traction when he became lead singer for The Rolling Stones. He did rather well while there, by all accounts.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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We Need Polite Subtitle Choices

We all watch live streaming or DVDs. Many of these, thank you, provide subtitles. However, I take issue with the choice of “English for the deaf or hard of hearing.” I am certainly not deaf. Even though I do need to see the occasional word spelled out, I’m not quite at the stage where I should called hard of hearing. And many times I don’t understand the accent, particulary British.

Why do we have to make judgments about people? Perhaps making them feel bad? Why not simply have “English” as a choice for subtitles?

Or even tailor the choices to me, Paul. See below.

 

 

The one on the right would make me feel special. Of course, it doesn’t have to be my name listed on the right. You should be alter the phrase to reflect your name, “English for Desdemona,” for example.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Lemon Drizzle Cake from Britain

British Dessert

LEMON DRIZZLE CAKE

INGREDIENTS – CAKE

1½ cups sugar
2 tablespoons lemon zest (takes 2-to-3 lemons)
1 cup butter
4 eggs
¼ cup milk
5 teaspoons baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2¼ cups flour
1 cup confectioners’ sugar
4½ tablespoon lemon juice

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
9″ * 12″ baking pan
parchment paper

Serves 12. Takes 1 hour 5 minutes to prepare and 30 minutes to cool.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 340 degrees. Add sugar, lemon zest, butter, eggs, milk, baking powder, and salt to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on high until mixture becomes fluffy. Fold in the flour with a spatula until cake mix is well blended. Line baking pan with parchment paper. Ladle cake mix into baking pan. Smooth cake mix with spatula. Bake at 340 degrees for 35 minutes or until cake turns golden brown, becomes springy, and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.

While cake bakes, add confectioners’ sugar and lemon juice to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk or fork until confectioner’s sugar dissolves. Use toothpick to poke holes in the warm cake. Spoon drizzle over cake. Let cake sit in tin until it’s cools completely. Remove cake and cut into squares.

TIDBITS

1) In 1844, Alexander Cartwright was eating a corner piece of Lemon Drizzle Cake. His piece looked very much like the one like the one shone in this recipe. Then a mosquito landed on his cake. He flicked it off. This act inspired him to invent the sport of Lemon Drizzle. LD as it was called, was supposed to have been played a lot like baseball. However, the athletes would show up and stuff themselves cake after cake until they didn’t feel athletic anymore.

2) Then in 1845, Mr. Cartwright forbade the eating of Lemon Drizzle Cake. Once, players actually played baseball, they loved it. So much so, that it became the national pastime.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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