Posts Tagged With: American

Air Fryer Eggs

American Breakfast

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AIR FRYER FRIED EGGS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 eggs
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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air fryer
parchment paper*
2 mini-cake pans
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* = Parchment paper should fit in min-cake pans
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PREPARATION
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Preheat air fryer for 4 minutes at 360 degrees. Line  mini-cake pans with parchment paper. Add 1 egg to each mini-cake pan. Place mini-cake pans in air-fryer basket. Set temperature to 360 degrees. Set timer to 7 minutes. For over-easy eggs, set timer to 4 minutes. For more well-done eggs, set timer to 8 minutes. (Times vary between air fryers. Check eggs when they should be nearly done. Use oven mitts to remove mini-cake pan from fryer basket.)
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Eggs should come out of the min-cake pans when tipped over. If not, carefully remove the egg with a flexible spatula.
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TIDBITS
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1) Cleaning up with this recipe will be a snap compared to the alternative of frying eggs with butter in a pan. Or even, frying them au naturel. I mean by that, not using butter. I would never suggest frying anything in the nude. Particularly bacon. Oh gosh, no.
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2) As I write, the price of eggs is at an all time, maybe double the cost of a year ago.
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3) Some people think the high cost of eggs influenced the last election.
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4) There’s something to this fear. The crushing  cost of bread and the ensuing riots precipitated the French Revolution.
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5) This fear has not gone away. The French government heavily monitors and regulates bread prices.
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6) If your last name was People, wouldn’t you be sorely tempted to name your baby, Some?
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7) Then everything Some says could be repeated as, “Some People says this.”
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8) Remember when eggs were so cheap that trick-or treaters would egg peoples houses?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Deep Fryer French Fries

American Entree

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DEEP FRYER FRENCH FRIES

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INGREDIENTS
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1¼ pound russet potato
13 cups vegetable oil*
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* = My deep fryer uses this amount. Amounts vary with each deep fryer. See instructions that come with deep fryer. Duck fat or beef tallow gives a better taste, but it should be completely melted before being put into the fryer.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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french-fry cutter
deep fryer
4 4-cup Mason jars
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Serves 2. Takes 1 hour 20 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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If desired, remove potato skins with potato peeler. Use French-fry cutter to cut potato into strips. Place these French fries in a bowl. Cover and refrigerate for 40 minutes or until ready to fry.
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Add oil to deep fryer. It should be between the MIN and MAX level on the bowl. Set temperature to 325 degrees. While temperature rises to 325 degrees, drain water from fries. Pat fries dry with paper towels.
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Once the oil’s temperature reaches 325 degrees add French fries to frying basket. Carefully lower basket into oil. Put lid on fryer. Deep fry for 10 minutes or until fries just start to show color. Raise temperature to 360 degrees. Deep fry for another 3 minutes or until fries become crispy and turn golden brown. Drain oil. Sprinkle with salt, if desired. Serve with condiments such as ketchup, mustard, or mayonnaise. Serve hot.
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Strain and drain oil into Mason jars. Reuse the oil until it has a foamy surface,  dirty, dark appearance, or a fishy aroma.
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TIDBITS
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1) How does NASA know if teeny, tiny objects exist in apparently empty stretches of outer space? It flings billions of potato strips into the apparently voids out there. NASA ensures uniform shapes and weights of these tater strips by employing French-fry cutters. The space agency flings these spud bits into space and tracks their orbits. If the orbit wobbles, another object exists close to the erratic fry. By such means NASA hopes to find every teeny, weeny, itsy, bitsy, speck in outer space.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, international, science | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Collard Greens

American Appetizer

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SLOW COOKER COLLARD GREENS

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INGREDIENTS
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2 pounds collard greens
1 onion
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon brown sugar
3 garlic cloves
2 ham hocks
½ teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 teaspoon salt
5 cups water
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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2 3-quart slow cookers or 1 6-quart slow cooker
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Serves 6. Takes 6 hours 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut collard greens into 1″ squares. Dice onion. Add all ingredients to slow cookers. Arrange ingredients so that ham hocks are in the middle. Slow cook on high for 6 hours. Remove ham hock. Remove meat from ham hocks and add to pot. (Discard ham hock.) Stir or until well blended.  Goes well with fried chicken, pork chops, pulled-pork sandwiches, macaroni and cheese and corn bread.
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TIDBITS
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1) This recipe says to collard greens into 1″ squares.
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2) This can be difficult to do as collard-green leaves are not squares.
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3) And if you strive for perfection ,such cutting becomes even harder. You’d have to get out your ruler. Moreover, making completely accurate 90 degrees angle for each square would drive any chef to drink. If you’re a teetotaler, may suggest near beer, or root beer, as your choice?
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4) Now we get to the collard greens’ overwhelming laziness and lack of ambition.
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5) Sure, you could watch television with your bowl of collard greens.
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6) But they will never help you with your crossword puzzles. The only way you could play catch with a bunch of collard greens is to dig a hole, and put the collard greens in the hole. Then toss the baseball into the hole. But even then the collard greens will not toss the ball back to you. This game of catch must be quite short. They will, however, be good listeners while they remain ripe.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Creamy Lemon Chicken

American Entree

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CREAMY LEMON CHICKEN

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INGREDIENTS
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1 lemon
1½ pounds chicken breasts
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
¾ cup flour
3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 teaspoons minced garlic
1 cup chicken broth
2½ tablespoons lemon juice
1¼ cups heavy cream
2 teaspoons parsley
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Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Cut lemon into 4 slices. Cut chicken breasts in half. Cut chicken halves along their width to make thin cutlets. Rub pepper and salt evenly onto chicken cutlets. Add flour to mixing bowl. Dredge cutlets through flour. Shake off any excess.
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Add butter and olive oil to large pan. Use medium heat to melt butter. Swirl pan until butter and oil combine. Carefully add chicken cutlets to pan. Sauté for 4 minutes on each side or chicken turns golden brown on both sides. Stir enough to keep from burning.
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Remove chicken and set aside. Leave butter and olive oil in pan. Add minced garlic. Sauté for 1 minute at medium heat. Stir frequently Add chicken broth and lemon juice. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir occasionally. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer. Add heavy cream. Simmer sauce for 3 minutes. Stir enough to keep from burning. Return chicken cutlets to pan. Ladle sauce over chicken. Simmer for 6 minutes or until sauce starts to thicken. Stir occasionally. Garnish with lemon slices and parsley.
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TIDBITS
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1) Q: Why did the creamy lemon chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side so it could wash off the heavy cream and lemon juice some oaf dumped on it.
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2) Culinary hygienists in France are currently giving chickens regular showers and towel drys to see if that improves poultry-product safety. There’s also evidence that, gosh darn it, chicken just like being clean. As culinary mystic Farine du Ble said, “Of course they wish to be clean. They’re just as vain as we are. The spirit of Helen the Chicken contacted me and told me so.” Now you know.
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­- Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Persimmon Bread

American Entree

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PERSIMMON BREAD

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INGREDIENTS
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3 Hachiya persimmons
½ cup butter, softened
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
1⅓ cups sugar
3 eggs
1¼ teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon salt
2 cups flour
½ cup chopped walnuts
no-stick baking spray
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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food processor
electric beater
9″ * 5 ” loaf pan
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Makes 1 loaf. Takes 1 hour 55 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Cut tops off of persimmons. Scoop out pulp. Add pulp to food processor. Puree pulp. Add butter and vanilla extract to large mixing bowl. Use high setting on electric beater until butter becomes creamy. Add sugar. Use high setting until butter and sugar become thoroughly blended Add eggs. Use medium setting on electric beater until well blended.
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Add baking soda, flour, and salt to medium mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Gradually add flour mix to the butter/sugar mix while blending with electric beater set on medium. Add persimmon pulp. Mix completely with electric beater set on medium. Fold in walnuts with spatula. This is the batter.
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Spray loaf pan with no-stick baking spray. Pour batter into loaf pan. Smooth surface with spatula. Bake for 1 hour at 350 degrees or until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Let cool for 10 minutes. Run knife or small spatula around loaf’s edge. Remove bread from loaf pan and place cupcakes on wire rack for 30 minutes or until cooled completely.
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TIDBITS
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1) Persimmon bread tastes great  It makes you so happy that you burst with get up and go. NASA’s scientist Carl La Fong theorized that the energy  in persimmon bread would make NASA rockets get up and go easily out of Earth’s gravitational field. But the persimmon-bread powered rocket got up and went out of the Solar System in just one week. Now no one knows where the rocket might be.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, science | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

S’mores Latte

American Dessert

S’MORES LATTE

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INGREDIENTS
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½ teaspoon chocolate syrup (1½ tablespoons more latter)
2 tablespoons crumbled graham crackers
1½ tablespoons chocolate syrup
⅔ cup whole milk
⅔ cup espresso or strongly brewed coffee
1½ tablespoons mini-marshmallows
1 teaspoon chocolate shavings* (optional)
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* = Can be made using chocolate bar and grater.
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Serves 1. Takes 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Wet both sides of the mug’s rim with ½ teaspoon chocolate syrup. Roll mug  in crumbled graham crackers. Use hands to pat crumbled graham crackers to inside rim. Add 1½ tablespoons chocolate syrup and milk  to small pot.  Heat mixture using medium heat until nearly boiling. Stir constantly. Add coffee to mug. Add heated syrup and milk. Stir with spoon until well blended. Sprinkle latte with mini-marshmallows. Top with chocolate shavings.
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TIDBITS
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1) People love S’mores. People crave latte. So which is better in a head-to-head catchup, S’mores or S’mores Latte?  But first what is a S’more? A S’more consists of toasted marshmallows and chocolate sandwiched between two graham crackers.
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2) Which has the more toastable marshmallow? S’mores does. The large marshmallow used in S’mores lends itself better to toasting on stick over a campfire. The min-imarshmallows perform poorly here. S’mores – 1, S’mores Latte- 0.
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3) Do you have a campfire in your home? Probably not. S’mores – 1, S’mores Latte – 1.
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4) Do you want to go camping out in the creepy, crawly cold woods just to use a campfire? Probably not. S’mores Latte – 2, S’mores: -1.
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5) Which is better at fighting off a charging Tyrannosaurus Rex? I suppose you could hit the T-Rex with your S’more, but at best it’ll just stick to the fearsome beast, because of the melted marshmallows. Or, you could throw your hot S’mores into the monster’s eyes, blinding it for minutes while you make your getaway. S’mores Latte – 3, S’mores – 1. A convincing victory for S’mores Latte. Yay.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Bundt Cake

American Dessert

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STRAWBERRY BUNDT CAKE

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INGREDIENTS – CAKE
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1 pound fresh strawberries (1 ounce more later)
2 teaspoons baking powder
½ teaspoons baking soda
3¼ cups flour
¾ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup butter, softened (2½ tablespoons more later)
3 eggs
1½ cups sugar
½ tablespoon vanilla extract (½ teaspoon more later)
⅔ cup vegetable oil
1 cup whole milk (2½ tablespoons more later)
2 drops red food coloring gel
no-stick baking spray
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INGREDIENTS – GLAZE
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1½ ounces fresh strawberries
2½ tablespoons butter, softened
1¾ cups confectioners’ sugar
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
2½ tablespoons whole milk
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric blender
electric beater
10″ bundt pan
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Serves 12. Takes 3 hours.
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PREPARATION – CAKE
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Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add 1 pound strawberries to electric blender. Puree strawberries. Add baking powder, baking soda, flour, and salt to small mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add  ⅔ cup butter, eggs, sugar, ½ tablespoon vanilla extract, vegetable oil, and 1 cup whole milk to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add pureed strawberries and red food coloring gel. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended.
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Gradually add in the dry mix from the small bowl into the liquid mix of the large bowl. Mix with electric beater set on low until just combined into batter.
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Generously spray bundt pan with no-stick baking spray Pour batter into bundt pan. Level batter with spatula. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean. Use butter knife to loosen cake from the bundt pan Let cake cool for 15 minutes. Invert cake onto plate. Let cool completely before icing.
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PREPARATION – GLAZE
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Add 1½ ounces fresh strawberries to blender. Puree strawberries..Add pureed strawberries, 2½ tablespoons butter, confectioners’ sugar, and ½ teaspoon vanilla extract to medium mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on low until well blended. .
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Gradually add 2½ tablespoons whole milk or until glaze thickens and is just pourable. Pour glaze evenly over the cooled cake. Allow glaze to drip down the size. Let set for 5 minutes before serving.
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TIDBITS
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1) Strawberries were known as wartsberries in France in from 1178 to 1347.
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2) All Medieval peasants suffered greatly from warts.
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3) Their wart-free neighbors shunned them. “Ew,” said the nearby farmers.
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4) Downcast, dispirited, and depressed, the wart-ridden peasants joined the King’s army in hopes of campaigning abroad.
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5) What luck!. The Hundred Years War erupted, started even, in France in 1347.. Off went the English to France.  Archer Jack Strawberry wasn’t even on French soil for six minutes when he stumbled, falling face first into a wartberry patch.
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6) When he arose and drew himself up to 90 percent of his full height, his archer companions gasped. His warts has completely disappeared. “By St. George’s darned socks, it’s a miracle,” said Elric Sod. And with Elric’s impimatur, the entire English army rolled and rolled into the wartsberry patch. Grateful archers, men at arms, and knight renamed the wartberry to, strawberry in his honor.
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7) I don’t know if you’ve ever seen it happen, but when an army miraculously loses all its warts, it becomes world beaters. “God is clearly on our side,” said Sod. “Who can stand against us.”
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8) And indeed, no French army could stand up to the wartless English.
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9) Then everything changed. In 1428, the Archangel Michael appeared to Joan, a peasant botanist living in the town of Do Re Me. “Joan, take your botanical knowledge to King Charles VIII; as he surely has none.”
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10) So Brainy Joan made her way to the royal court. “Your majesty,” said she. “To defeat the cursed English, you must destroy every strawberry patch in France. Without strawberries, warts will once more sprout like weeds upon the soldiers. Their morale will plummet and your army will vanquish them time after time. Impressed by Joan’s piety and botanical acumen., Charles VIII did what she said. The French would evict the English for good. Brainy Joan would become Saint Joan. Yay.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gravy

American Appetizer

GRAVY

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INGREDIENTS
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1 bouillon cube (the same type as the stock)
2⅓ cups chicken, beef, or turkey stock
¼ cup butter
¼ cup flour
½ teaspoon onion powder
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon sage
¼ teaspoon thyme
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Serves 6.  Takes 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Smash bouillon cube into bits. Add bouillon bits and broth to microwavable bowl. Microwave for 2 minutes or until bouillon bits dissolve. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add butter to pan. Melt butter using medium heat. Stir frequently and gently. Add flour. Stir constantly with whisk or fork for 2 minutes or until mixture turns golden brown.
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Slowly add stock/bouillon liquid to pan. Stir as you do so. Reduce heat to low-medium. Simmer for 4 minutes or until mixture bubbles and thickens to the consistency of gravy. Stir frequently, Add remaining ingredients. Stir with spatula until well blended.
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TIDBITS
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1) Is there nothing that gravy doesn’t make better? Here’s a partial list of dishes and foods made tastier with gravy. Biscuits, biscuits and sausage, butter, chicken fried steak, fried chicken, hamburger patties, herbed pork roast, mashed potatoes, meatloaf, mushrooms, polenta, pork chops, rice, roast beef, roasted turkey, Salisbury steak, sausage, stuffed bell peppers, stuffing, vegetables
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2) Are there any foods made worse by gravy? Pumpkin pie and orange juice come to mind.
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3) Fun historical fact. The first humans to come to North America came from Asia via the famous land bridge. Only the bridge wasn’t made with land. Wandering tribes came to the Bering Strait, which of course, filled with water. Well, poo. But these first North American were terrific problem solvers and gravy lovers. They carried millions of tons on the backs of pack animals wherever they went. Why so much? They loved gravy as who does not? (See tidbit 1.)
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4) Anyway, the problem solvers dumped half of their gravy into the Bering Strait. This water proved cold enough to freeze a gravy bridge connecting Siberia with Alaska. The land rush of North America was on! Note: you can no longer find this famous bridge. Cycles of prehistoric warming thawed the gravy bridge. Oh well.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Minnie Mouse Latch Hook Project – Part 4

The epic Minnie Mouse Latch project continues. At the very beginning, little pockets of colored yarn were splattered all over the upper-right corner. Also, the project somehow got started on the right edge of the mesh instead of at the bottom. So, I saw the whole developing picture from the wrong side. These two effects made the color pockets look like, well, yarn vomit.

Now that I’ve progressed and the image nears completing, it’s looking like a beautiful Minnie Mouse. Patience, Paul, Patience. (PPP.)

Anyway, here’s a hint of what patience will look like.

Minnie Mouse – 11/05/24

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Minnie Mouse Latch Hook Project – Part 3

The epic Minnie Mouse Latch project continues.  Besides providing a valuable exercise in making my eyes work together, something they don’t like to do with things that are up close, this exercise yields other saluatory benefits. The foremost of these benefits is drawing the people of this great nation together in kindness and understanding.

How so? Latch hooking calms me down. I have not taken to the streets to foment revolution. Can you imagine the carnage? Best to keep me occupied, And what of brotherly love? A smiling Minnie Mouse. It simply is impossible to harbor hatred to anyone when the image of Minnie Mouse remains firmly implanted in your brain. By following my Minnie Mouse project, the American people can track the inevitable march to serenity. Loving and helping each other will follow as certainly as day follows night.

Anyway, here’s a hint of what love and serenity will look like.

Minnie Mouse – 10/24/24

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
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My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: latch hook | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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