Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.
https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/
And now, a few pictures to inspire you.
Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, “The Darwin Murders.” This event takes place July 20 on Facebook.
1) We are looking for murder or accidental murder stories where humanity benefits from the offing of a certain type of individual. Examples are telemarketers, Windows 8 
executives, etc. You decide. No real people to be offed, in real life or fictionally for goodness sake.
2) One submission of 250 words or fewer.
3) Submit with title, author name, and indicate permission to publish. Please provide two sentence bio. If desired, one or two of the sentences may include links to the author’s sites.
4) We strongly encourage submissions on the date of the event. Submissions on other dates will be allowed but we cannot promise inclusion from those other dates. We might already be going to press or we might just miss it.
5) There will be five well publicized dates when this e-book will be offered for free.
6) Two winners will be honored by mention on Candace C. Bowen’s and Paul R. De Lancey’s web sites, Facebook, and Paul’s blog, and any other way our harried brains can think up.
Let the brainstorming begin.
– Paul De Lancey, co-editor
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Free poster (see below) giving membership in the prestigious Lords Of Fun society to anyone who buys any of my books from my website, http://www.lordsoffun.com, (I’ll be pleased to sign the books.) Free cyber posters to anyone buying from Amazon, or Nook.
Woo hoo! My international cookbook, Eat Me, 169 Fun Recipes From Around the World, is out.
On Amazon: paperback and e-book
On Nook: e-book
PRAISE FOR EAT ME
“Paul De Lancey’s cookbook, Eat Me! 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World is as hysterical as it is chock-full of yummy recipes and wacky trivia.
“From the author of We’re French and You’re Not and The Fur West, De Lancey entertains supreme as he distills cooking to the simplest of terms—from boiling water (and identifying the stove) to preparing timeless classics from every corner of the globe including scrumptious Beef Stroganoff and Greek Wraps with tzatziki sauce.
“Every recipe is followed by hilarious tidbits, such as, ‘King Louis XV ate boiled eggs every Sunday. This practice ceased with his death.’ And advice galore, Crunchy Tuna Casserole – ‘This is not a good meal to make if your dishwasher doesn’t work as happened to me. Grr!’
“De Lancey is one of the freshest voices in the cookbook world. He will have your family and guests spewing milk from their noses as you read about the perils of dropping raw eggs from too great a height into hot Tomato Drop Soup.
“Eat Me! is a must read for anyone with a sense of humor and a desire to expand their menu.”
– Marie Etienne, author of Storkbites: A Memoir and Confessions of a Bi-Polar Mardi Gras Queen
“What’s up with straightforward, no-nonsense cookbooks? A little nonsense in the kitchen can make meal preparation more fun. That’s what Paul De Lancey does in Eat Me, a cookbook spiced with comedy, leavened with silliness, and still fully informative and functional. So get out those pots and pans and your sense of humor and have some fun creating that next meal.”
—Roger L. Conlee, author of Fog and Darkness and The Hindenburg Letter.
“I don’t cook, my favorite dinner is popcorn and M&Ms and I store my sweaters in the oven, but Paul De Lancey’s new cookbook may change all that. From what I’ve seen of his recipes and accompanying photos, this cook knows his ingredients.”
-Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days
“Eat Me by Paul De Lancey is the only way I know of to learn how to cook simple yummy meals while laughing too hard to eat your simple yummy meals. Seriously. This author’s recipes are so inextricably layered with absurdity, puns, and outrageous assertions that I never knew whether I was chuckling at his jokes or cooking them up myself. A great, side-tickling–and practical–read for anyone’s kitchen!”
– Reina Lisa Menasche, author of Twice Begun
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The end of Nazi Germany is near. Hitler’s bunker is about to be attacked by flying squirrels. He reacts.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHa7dL-Y6tI
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Another Candace Bowen Triumph. This review is from: Jack of Hearts (Kindle Edition)
Candace C. Bowen, queen of the romance novels, has written another brilliant, page-turning novel. Set in Victorian Britain, the fiesty Katherine Kelly journeys to London’s seedy, dangerous East End to find her sister.
Katherine combs the dark back alleys for her sister, Mary. She sets out on this task alone; Mary has become and a prostitute and has been disowned by her status obsessed family.She reluctantly accepts the assistance of the handsome Constable Edward Stanhope, the only man to believe in her.
Katherine and Edward rapidly fall in love. However, reconciling their desires with the stifling moral codes of Victorian England and gaining acceptance from her family prove to be as difficult as saving her sister from bloody Jack the Ripper.
I bought her novel Spur of the Moment and I was immediately hooked by her style, enough romance for women and sufficient blood and guts for men. I thoroughly recommend Jack of Hearts.
I have had the great good fortune to co-edit a murder anthology, Bump Off Your Enemies, with her. She is as easy to work with as she is exceptional in her writing.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Give that special man in your life something he’ll really love:
http://now.msn.com/jandd-foods-launches-bacon-sunscreen-and-bacon-condoms
And after all isn’t everything better with bacon on it.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
With much help from the brilliant Angie Mansfield:
1) “You can see me?”
2) “Are you my husband? You ARE. I know it. Won’t you come in?”
3) “How do I know you’re real?”
4) “Are you Satan?”
5) Come back with an open shot gun. Snap it closed in the salesman’s presence and say, “Mrs. So-and-so was gossiping with strangers about me again. Time to teach her some manners. I thank you kindly, sir.” Close the door and stride down the street.
6) “No, thanks. Someone hit a deer on the road last week, so our freezer’s full for awhile.”
7) “No thanks, that’s why we have mouse traps.”
8) *grab BB gun from behind door* “Do I LOOK like I ever BUY my meat?”
9) “No, thanks. If I can’t sacrifice it to Shiva first, I don’t eat it.”
10) “Why buy meat when you have arsenic?”
11) “Could you slaughter in front of me? I’m OCD about freshness.”
12) “Is it kosher? Let’s call the rabbi to be sure. Hm? No, I’m not Jewish, why do you ask?”
13) Look at the meat and say, “Is this your wife? I haven’t seen her lately.”
14) “Could I have this cut in the shape of a perfect hexagon?”
15) “Oh my gosh, did you butcher this yourself? It’s wonderful! I had no idea you could build a butcher shop in a van! I’ve got a raccoon trapped out back — think you could take care of him for me?”
16)”Was this beef circumcised?”
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Guyanese Appetizer
INGREDIENTS
4 green mangoes
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon cilantro
1 tablespoon lime juice
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/2 teaspoon celery seed
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
3 cloves garlic
2 Scotch bonnet peppers or 4 serrano peppers
1 medium onion
1 teaspoon ginger
1 1/2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
PREPARATION
Peel, seed, and cut off fleshy part of mangoes. Seed peppers. Mince garlic, onion, and peppers.
(For goodness sake, wash your hands thoroughly after handing hot peppers especially the blazing hot Scotch bonnets. And NEVER touch your face or any sensitive parts of your body while handling these peppers. You’ll be ready to confess to anything until the pain goes away.)
Put everything in a blender and blend at the “liquefy” setting until the mixture is completely smooth. Put in refrigerator overnight.
Next day, boil the chutney mixture until it thickens. Chutney goes with almost anything Caribbean. It’s also popular in England.
TIDBITS
1) Guyana is made up of ten administrative regions; Region 1, Region 2, Region 3, Region 4, Region 5, Region 6, Region 7, Region 8, Region 9, and Region 10.
2) Whoa!
3) Julius Caesar started his famous work, De Bello Gallico, with “All Gaul is divided into three parts.”
4) His close friend Brutus later assassinated him. Latin students today hate Julius Caesar because they are forced to read about his Gallic adventures.
5) Perhaps that’s what the authors of all those terribly dry websites had in mind when describing the “fun” facts of Guyana. After all, no one wants to be assassinated by friends and hated by students for centuries.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Nearly fifty of the world’s finest authors contributed to Bump Off Your Enemies.
Available on Amazon Kindle. Free days are May 5, May 12, May 18, May 19, and May 26.
Oh, this is a work of fiction.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 