Resolution #22
I, like many of you, endeavor to become a better person for the next year. How do we do this? By making new year’s resolutions.
And keeping them.
“I’ve never strayed from all I believe.
“I’m blessed with an iron will.
“Had I been made the partner of Eve
“We’d be in Eden still.”
– from the musical Camelot
Ahem.
Anyway, here are my new year’s resolutions:
1) Give up lutefisk.
2) Give up mushrooms.
3) Never murder anyone who blocks aisles in supermarkets with their cart.
4) Not even when a customer and a checker chat for ten minutes. Like today, for instance. They’re both alive because of the previous year’s resolutions.
5) Go to exercise classes twice a week.
6) Go to arts and crafts class once a week.
7) Learn a new word every day.
8) Forget a new word every day.
9) Take a positive attitude.
10) Especially with laundry. Always do my very best to make sure all my socks pair.
11) Accept my limitations and jettison resolution #9.
12) Read as many bath books as I can.
13) Limit my television watching to programs I like.
14) Say, “Bunny!” everytime I see a rabbit.
15) Same thing for cows.
16) Halve the number of hours I spend watching curling.
17) Never bring up at parties how Sweden got screwed at the Treaty of Westphalia in 1648.
18) No matter how many times people bring up the topic.
19) Join the At Least One Egg Eaten in a Year Club.
20) Eat tacos.
21) Limit spending to the things that cost money.
22) Have tea with a rabbit.
23) Make my resolution last from now until the end of 2023.
There.
Wish me luck.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 
What I Did While I Was Awake
Swedish meatballs
1) Woke up. I inhaled and exhaled. Repeated.
2) Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head.
3) Shuffled off to the kitchen.
4) Made egg nog. Mixed breadcrumbs with milk. Put both in fridge. Go me.
5) Cleaned the kitchen.
6) Spelled kitchen correctly
7) Stopped a range war.
8) Stopped a microwave war. Geez, people, chill out.
9) Wrapped presents.
10) Pondered the imponderable. Still don’t know how I did that. Just lucky, I guess.
11) Watched Number One Son and Number Two Son play video games for a while. Good to have the both of them home.
12) Decided not to write up a Christmas letter. Didn’t know how to explain why my great-great-great grandfather tried to conquer Europe.
12b) Took a nice relaxing bath. Read from my bath book, Mary’s Land.
13) Number One Son made a salad and helped a bit with making Swedish meatballs.
14) Cleaned the kitchen which had gotten messy again.
15) Ate dinner with the natives.
16) Contemplated Kepler’s Law of Planetary Motion.
17) Number One Son made reservations for us for Tuesday at a cat cafe.
18) Wrote this blog.
Behave yourselves.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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