Canadian Entree

PIZZAGHETTI

INGREDIENTS – PIZZA CRUST

2 cups all-purpose flour (1 tablespoon more later)
¾ cup water
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
½ teaspoon sugar
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon active dry yeast
no-stick spray
1 tablespoon flour

INGREDIENTS – TOPPINGS

½ pound spaghetti
no-stick spray
1½ cups pasta sauce
½ pound sausage meat*
¼ pound sliced pepperoni*
2 cups mozzarella cheese

* = Substitute with your preferred toppings, if you like.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

bread maker
16″ pizza pan

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 50 minutes.

PREPARATION – PIZZA CRUST

Add flour, water, oil, sugar, salt, and yeast to the bread maker. Do not put the yeast directly on top of the salt. Salt is bad for yeast and yeast makes the dough rise. “Ask not what your yeast can do for you. Ask what you can do for your yeast.”

Set the timer or the menu on the bread maker to “Dough.” Wait for the required time, maybe up to an hour. In the meantime preheat the oven to 400 degrees and liberally spray the pizza pan with no-stick spray. This will prevent the crust from forming a glue-like bond with the pan.

Take the dough out of the bread maker and roll it out until the dough covers the pizza pan. If you do not possess a rolling pin, any canned food can will do as long as it is at least six inches tall. Spray the pan and coat it with 1 tablespoon flour before spreading the dough.

PREPARATION – TOPPINGS

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Read instructions for spaghetti on package. Subtract 3 minutes from the suggested time. (The spaghetti will continue to cook in the oven.) Drain.

Spray pizza pan with no-stick spray. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread pasta sauce over entire crust. Make ½” sausage balls. Arrange sausage balls and pepperoni slices evenly over sauce. Distribute spaghetti evenly over pizza. Sprinkle cheese over everything. Bake pizza in oven at 400 degrees for 16 minutes or until cheese turns golden brown.

Note: This another version of pizzaghetti that simply has spaghetti and sauce served next to one or two slices of pizzas. To me, the version presented here is much more exciting.

TIDBITS

1) I must say that this is an exciting dish.

2) It’s so simple now, yet so many never had the wit to combine pizza with spaghetti.

3) But Patrice Grandchat did. Culinary financial analysts report that Mlle. Grandchat now has so much money that she’s about to launch a hostile takeover of AmazonTM. “I have a lot of things in my closets and attic that I’d like to sell,” said the billionaire Quebecoise.

4) I want to be as rich as Mlle. Grandchat. If I were that wealthy, I’d never have to think twice about spending ten cents on a recyclable plastic bag at the supermarket checkout stand. So, here are my forthcoming money-making food dishes.

A) PB&S: Peanut Butter and Steak. Simply slather your steak with peanut butter. There’s a version of this entree where the steak gets stuffed with peanut butter. This is the famous Stuffed PB&S.

B) Ravioli Burger: Substitute the meat patty in your burger with ravioli.

C) Camcowpigturducken: This is a chicken inside a duck inside a turkey inside a pig inside a cow inside a camel. Vegetarians are warned away from this dish. It’s also a diet-busting meal.

D) Taco Ice Cream: Who doesn’t love tacos? Who doesn’t love ice cream? I tell you, putting a crushed taco inside cream is a stroke of genius.

E) Roast Marshmallow Beef: It’s often called RMB by its legion of fans. Nothing’s more fun than roasting marshmallows over a campfire. And roast beef is the tastiest meat entree around. And what better way to get food fussies to eat their roast beef than hiding it inside a dessert?

F) Coke Dogs: Coca ColaTM is the world’s favorite soda. The hot dog is America’s most beloved meal. Simply boil your frankfurters in a pot of Coca Cola instead of water.

G) Bean Kabobs: Finally a way to grill beans! We never could before because beans would, of course, fall through the grill. But they won’t when they’re skewered between pork cubes and onion slices.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.