Loving Poem About a Printer


Oh printer! Oh printer!

Pure Evil

You putrid pile of pig pool.
You use up ink. You jam.
You send us into fits.

All I want from a printer is for it to:

Yet it jams until eternity.
The only time it prints is
To spew out that test page
That uses up my ink cartridge.

I grow poor buying ink
While the printer’s makers
Earn enough to appear
On American Greed(tm).

May producers of computer printers
Be sentenced to sixty years of hard labor
Or be eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
I’m reasonable; either will do.


– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.



Categories: poems, printers | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

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One thought on “Loving Poem About a Printer

  1. italiadiva

    At least you don’t have a cat who attacks the paper when it come out of the printer! =========== Opera is where a guy gets stabbed in the back, and instead of dying, he sings. — Robert Benchley

    Liked by 1 person

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