Posts Tagged With: money

What Foods Are Good For You

The judgment of a food being good or bad is only valid at the store.

Once you bought it automatically becomes good. You spent too much time and money not to eat it. Society spent too much time, money, and depleted natural resources not to eat it. We must not let your and society’s sacrifices be in vain. Eat the foods you brought home.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: food, lifestyle, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Useless, Uncaring, Hateful Advice – Part 1

 

Dealing with people can be hard for us. The following comment is one reason why:

“Stop freaking out so much.”

­Strange so say. we don’t like things upsetting us so easily. Gee, if we could stay calm all the time, we would. This comment is particularly distressing when coming from loved ones, friends, and others who have known us for decades and really should know that the same events will always shatter our emotional balance.

To show you what it feels like, here’s some back-at-you Useless, Uncaring Hateful Advice:

“Manage your money better.”

“Don’t be so horrible at math.”

Here’s a thought; help the person with the problem or just plain not make it worse.

Thank you.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, observations, uncaring | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Unleash the Hounds of Hell

Although known as the serenest of men, my patience is not infinite. The enemy: the indoor fly. Indeed,

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: apocalyptic, face of evil | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

How Road Repair Companies Can Save Money

dummy World War II tank

We’ve also suffered from road construction, sidewalk repairs, etc. that turn major mult-lane roads into one lane with barely moving cars. You know in your hearts that these road-repair companies (RRCs) could complete their jobs in a month. But they don’t. They let the job linger for a year or more.

Why do they do this? They’re petrified of having no job or projects. So they bid on and win several projects. They haven’t the manpower to finish all the projects at once. So they move their few crews from one site to another. This means that most projects will not have crews working on them. But it looks bad, if the RRC doesn’t even pretend to work on a site.

What do they do then? They park backhoes, steamrollers, and other big truck at the unattended road repairs. And they leave there and they leave them there and they leave them there. Doesn’t it cost the RRC a lot of money to buy enough big trucks to leave at seventeen unworked sites?

Yes, it does! This is where my brilliant ideas comes in. The RRC contacts a firm that makes bouncy castles and asks them to fabricate inflatable construction vehicles. (The allies built dummy tanks  during World War II to fool the Germans.) Similarly, the RRC then leaves their dummy construction trucks at their unworked sites. An inflatable steamroller would cost ever so much less than a real one and it looks real to the bored drivers crawling past them for fourteenth month. The RRC will save a fortune.

This idea is easy, even if getting the RRC to finish a job is not.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: face of evil, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Deep Thought Man on Brokerage Firms and Smiling

Deep thought man has been away for a while. He’s been climbing a mountain.

Deep Thought Man #15

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

­My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Deep Thinker, finance | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vera the Virus Starts a Business – Part One

Vera the Virus is tired of being poor.

Vera the Virus #4, 12/28/2023

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Vera the Virus | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I Challenge Donald Trump to Debate. His Campaign Asks for a Donation

Voters of America,button2

Recently,via Facebook, I again invited Mr. Trump, candidate for the Republican party, to engage me in open debate. He didn’t respond,  However, his people are flooding my internet connection with ads asking me to donate to his campaign. There are only reasons for this disappointing behavior.

1) He thinks he’s so great, that he can demand money from the Bacon & Chocolate party to debate him.

2) His would be rich donors are so dismayed by the manifest result of Bacon & Chocolate sweeping to victory in November that they have stopped throwing away their wealth on him. As a result Mr. Trump is desperate for money. He’s taken to asking me, his competitor, for money. Sad.

Contact Mr. Trump and urge him, to debate me, Paul R. De Lancey, of the Bacon & Chocolate Party free of charge. Oh heck, in the spirit of forgiveness I’ll cook him a lutefisk-and-cheddar-cheesefeast. Make America grate again.

Candidate Trump can be contacted at:

https://www.donaldjtrump.com/contact

Thank you for your concern in the democratic process.

Bacon & Chocolate Party

Information on Bacon & Chocolate Party thoughts and goals.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Bacon & Chocolate | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Banana Peanut-Butter Honey Milkshake

American Dessert

BANANA PEANUT-BUTTER HONEY MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTSBaPeBuMilk-

3 bananas (best when ripe)
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup smooth peanut butter
1/2 tablespoon honey

SPECIAL UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. Put bananas, milk,  peanut butter, and honey in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This tasty milkshake is a diet buster.

TIDBITS

1) Bees must visit two-million flowers to make one pound of honey. The average worker bee makes 1/12 teaspoon in her lifetime. Bees need to unionize for better working conditions.

2) A 15,000-year-old cave painting shows a human stealing honey from a hive. Oh sure, the little bee visits fifty-five millions flowers in her lifetime and then it’s gone. Honestly, it’s enough to make a grown bee cry.

3) Can bees cry?

4) Honey bees do have five eyes.

5) This makes their going to the optometrist a major event, especially as their command of even the simplest human languages is rather limited.

6) This linguistic deficiency often leads to tragedy. The optometrist doesn’t understand the bee’s buzzing. The bee interprets this incomprehension as an aggressive act.

7) The enraged bee stings the optometrist. The optometrist’s face swells up. The optometrist goes to the hospital. The bee dies.

8) No specialized glasses get sold. News of this leaks to Wall Street. The stock market plunges. Economies collapse. Money becomes worthless. And have you stocked up on toilet paper?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baked Maple-Covered Doughnuts Recipe

American Dessert

BAKED MAPLE-COVERED DOUGHNUTS

INGREDIENTSMapleDo-

DOUGHNUT

1 cup pastry flour or regular flour if not available
1/2 cup sugar
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons milk
2 large eggs
3 tablespoons vegetable oil

MAPLE GLAZE

1 cup confectionary sugar
1 tablespoon milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons maple syrup

SPECIAL UTENSILS

doughnut mold, or tray, for 6 doughnuts
no-stick spray.

PREPARATION – DOUGHNUT

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.

Combine flour, sugar, baking powder and salt in medium mixing bowl until all ingredients appear to be well mixed. Add milk, eggs, and vegetable oil to another medium bowl. Blend with whisk until mixture starts to get foamy. Pour the milk mixture into the flour mixture and blend with whisk until all is combined.

Spray doughnut mold with no-stick spray. Scoop combined mixture into each dough form until half full. Put in oven and bake at 375 degrees for 10 to 12 minutes. Doughnuts should be done when they spring back when gently poked.

Remove doughnut mold from oven. Let sit for about 3 to 4 minutes. Gently pry doughnuts from mold with knife or small wooden spatula and put on plate.

PREPARATION – MAPLE GLAZE

Combine confectionary sugar, milk, vanilla extract, and maple syrup.. Use blend setting on electric beater to mix these ingredients. Use ladle or large spoon to pour glaze over the doughnuts. Use spoon to smooth the glaze on the doughnuts. Cool doughnuts in refrigerator until glaze sets.

Eat your share before your family or friends do.

TIDBITS

1) Canada’s new $50 and $100 bills smell like maple syrup. Way cool.

2) It’s part of the bills’ anti-counterfeiting measures.

3) The maple leaf symbolizes Canada and appears on the Canadian flag.

4) Swedish meatballs smell great and symbolize that nordic nation.

5) It would be great if Swedish currency smelled like that.

6) I like the idea of baking money.

7) “Patty cake, patty cake, baker man, bake me a bill as soon as you can.”

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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