Posts Tagged With: Mexico

Tamales

Posted on November 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

TAMALES

INGREDIENTS – MEAT MIX

1 onion
1 1/2 pounds chicken breast (or ground beef or shredded pork)
1 beef bouillon cube
1/4 cup tomato sauce
2 tablespoons chili powder (1 tablespoon more later)
1/2 tablespoon coriander
1/2 tablespoon cumin
1/4 cup yellow corn meal
1/2 tablespoon garlic powder (1/2 teaspoon more later)
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

INGREDIENTS – CORNMEAL COATING

1 cup yellow cornmeal
1 tablespoons chili powder (2 tablespoons more earlier)
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder (1/2 tablespoon more earlier)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 package corn husks or tamale paper

INGREDIENTS – SAUCE

1 cup tomato sauce
1 7.5 ounce can chili
1 bouillon cube
1 cup vegetable oil

(This recipe is spicy. If you prefer milder food, consider reducing the amounts of chili powder by up to half the stated amounts.)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 large pots
Box of wooden toothpicks (optional)

PREPARATION – SOAKING OF CORN HUSKS

Place corn husks at a time in first large pot. Heat corn husks at warm heat for 1-to-2 hours.

Soaking makes the corn husks pliable. Stiff, brittle corn husks really don’t roll well. The corn husk will split or the tamale will unravel. (You’ll end up shouting over the ensuing disaster and your whole family will head grumpily out to a fast- food joint.) Soak those corn husks.

PREPARATION – MEAT MIX

Set aside an afternoon to do this. Mince onions. Shred chicken breast or meat of choice. Crumble bouillon cube. Combine onion, tomato sauce, shredded chicken, chili powder, coriander, cumin, corn meal, garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and bouillon.

Mix thoroughly with hands. Shape mix into sticks no longer than about 3/4 the width of the corn husks.

PREPARATION – TAMALE COATING

In large bowl, mix corn meal, chili powder, garlic powder, and salt. Roll meat sticks in corn meal until coated all over.

Take a tablespoon of this coating and place it near the top, narrow part of the corn husk. Roll the husk from the top until the meat stick is enclosed. Fold in the sides of the husk and finish rolling. Be sure to roll it tight. Place the resulting tamale in second large pot with the seam side down.

Continue with the rest of the tamales. Put each tamale right up against the side of the pot or another tamale to prevent the husks from unraveling. You might wish to hold the tamales together with a wooden toothpick as well.

REMAINING PREPARATION

Mix sauce ingredients together. Pour sauce over tamales. Add enough water to cover the top layer of tamales. Bring to boil then reduce heat. Simmer for 40 minutes. Add vegetable oil. Simmer for 5 minutes more. Let soak for 30 minutes. This gives the cornmeal time to absorb the sauce.

Unroll the corn husks and serve the tamales. Cover the tamales with as much sauce as desired from the pot.

ADDITIONAL MEALS FROM THIS RECIPE

It’s possible that you might run out of pots to cook all the tamales you would otherwise make. You can use the excess meat mix as a burrito or taco filling. The remaining sauce in the pot makes an excellent chili soup. Reorganize the fridge. Make room for all this great food.

TIDBITS

1) My grandmother, who was born in Sonora, used to make tamales. I wish I remembered this better.

2) After making this dish, you’ll have a much greater appreciation of why tamales cost so much in stores and in restaurants. You’ll also see why establishments make tamales in such big batches.

3) Profusely thank your sweetheart who cleans up after your cooking. If you don’t have a sweetheart, consider finding one to help you tidy up after making tamales.

4) There is a Tamale Museum in Newport Beach, California. Featured there are paintings of Los Angeles’ taco trucks.

5) The first tamale factory in America opened in Austin, Texas in 1911. Prior to that, America was in the culinary dark ages.

6) There is a tamale factory in Vicksburg, Mississippi. It opened in 1939. I’ve been there. Their food is good. People in Northwest Mississippi are serious about their tamales. Who knew?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Breakfast Burritos

Posted on October 25, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Breakfast

BREAKFAST BURRITOS

INGREDIENTS

1/2 onion
1 1/4 ounces Cotija cheese
4 ounces pork sausage
4 ounces ground beef
3 eggs
1 4 ounce can diced green chiles
1 4 ounce can diced tomatoes
3/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
1/2 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese
lettuce
8 flour tortillas (bigger tortillas make bigger burritos)
no-stick cooking spray

PREPARATION

Be nice to your helper. Spray the cooking pan with no-stick cooking spray before you start. Mince the onion. Crumble the Cotija cheese. Brown the sausage and beef. Add eggs, onion, and chiles. Cook on medium heat and stir. Add tomatoes, cumin, meat spice and both cheeses. Cook and stir on medium heat. (Cooking on high heat will likely cause the eggs to burn.)

Microwave the big flour tortillas. Put two spoonfuls, or so, of meat mixture and romaine lettuce near top and center of tortilla. Fold in sides, then roll from the top of the tortilla until burrito is formed. Try a little less filling (tastes great) if you have trouble rolling the burrito.

TIDBITS

1) Remember the theme of “Cooking with what’s handy.” Don’t be afraid to use either iceberg or romaine lettuce if that is what you have in the kitchen or another grated cheese if you don’t care for Monterey Jack.

2) I’m afraid flour tortillas are a must, though. Attempting to roll a corn tortilla into the shape of a burrito will drive you to drink. “Sorry about the weaving officer, I used corn instead of flour.”

3) Cotija cheese is the “Parmesan of Mexico.” It is now made from cow’s milk, but at one time it was made from goat’s cheese. What happened? Did all Mexican goats disappear? Are they hiding in the hills only to swoop down to eat the straw of caravaning tourists?

4) The ancient Greeks and Romans used cumin as a cosmetic.

5) The first settlers from Europe thought tomatoes were poisonous.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Enchiladas Verdes

Posted on October 22, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

ENCHILADAS VERDES

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 tablespoons fresh cilantro (4 tablespoons more later)
1 16 ounce can green chile enchilada sauce
1/2 tablespoon basil
4 tablespoons parsley

FILLING INGREDIENTS

1 fresh green chile
2 jalapeno peppers
1 green bell pepper
1 medium onion
3 garlic cloves
4 tablespoons fresh cilantro (1 1/2 tablespoon more earlier)
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 tablespoon vegetable oil

2 cups grated Four Mexican cheeses

OTHER INGREDIENTS

12 corn tortillas (You might want more in case some fall apart)
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
no-stick cooking spray

You might need two baking dishes

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Use no-stick cooking spray on baking dish.

SAUCE PREPARATION

Dice 1 1/2 tablespoons cilantro. Add cilantro, green enchilada sauce, basil, and parsley to first saucepan and bring to boil on high heat. Then simmer on warm heat for 5 to 10 minutes or until sauce thickens. Set aside.

FILLING PREPARATION

Remove seeds from green chile, jalapeno peppers, and green bell pepper. Dice green chile, jalapeno peppers, green bell pepper, onion, garlic, and 4 tablespoons cilantro. Use second saucepan to saute green chile, jalapeno pepper, green bell pepper, onion, garlic, cilantro, and cumin in vegetable oil for 5 minutes or until onion is soft.

TORTILLAS PREPARATION

Heat the tortillas for about 20 seconds in a microwave to make them easier to roll. Pour enough oil to cover the sauce pan. Dip one tortilla at a time in the hot oil. Cook for about 5 seconds.

USE TONGS TO DO THIS. You really don’t want your hands near searing oil. USE A BACK BURNER to heat the tortillas. Repeated dipping tortillas into hot oil can result in hot oil splattering on you. (While you scurry to the faucet for blessed cool relief, be thankful you live on a planet where 71 percent of the surface is water. You’d be out of luck on Mercury. No water utility companies there.)

Have a plate just a few inches away for your heated tortilla. It’s distressing to find out how quickly a hot, oil-dripping tortilla can fall apart.

Cover each heated tortilla with a paper towel to absorb oil.

FINAL PREPARATION

Dip tortilla in sauce. Add about 1/12 of the fillings’ ingredients plus grated Four Mexican cheeses on top of each tortilla. Roll each tortilla and put it against the side of the baking dish or as close to another rolled tortilla as possible. Hold the tortillas together with a toothpick if desired. (Be sure to have the toothpick as conspicuous as possible to avoid biting into it later.)

Pour the sauce evenly over the tortillas. Sprinkle any remaining ingredients on top. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until any cheese on top bubbles.

TIDBITS

1) Enchilada means “served with chile pepper.”

2) My aunts fled from their ranch before the forces of Pancho Villa during the Mexican Revolution. One of them made enchiladas from scratch. Pancho Villa was not after them for their enchiladas, only their ranchero.

3) Every year Las Cruces, New Mexico makes the world’s biggest enchilada.

4) The Nixon administration was fond of the expression, “the whole enchilada.”

5) “Enchiladas Suizas” means “Swiss enchiladas.” Swiss immigrants to Mexico topped their enchiladas with cream-based sauces. Swiss immigrants in Mexico, who knew?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Salsa!

Posted on October 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Appetizer

SALSA!

INGREDIENTS

1 large red tomato
1/2 onion
1/2 green chile
1 jalapeño chile
2 tablespoons fresh cilantro
3 avocados
1/2 garlic clove or one small one
1/2 teaspoon olive oil
1/2 tablespoon lime juice
2 tablespoons lemon juice
2 1/4 teaspoons cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon oregano
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Makes 1 quart of delicious salsa.

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes, onion, green chile, jalapeño, cilantro and avocados. Mince garlic clove. Mix these ingredients in large bowl with whisk. Add olive oil, lime juice, vinegar, oregano, salt, and black pepper. Mix again with fork or whisk.

Serve with tortilla chips, rolled corn tortillas with beans, or by itself.

This is a forgiving dish. It is easy to add more of any ingredient at any time to improve the taste. (No, don’t add lutefisk, noooooo!)

TIDBITS

1) Authentic salsa is always fresh.

2) Salsa is a type of music. Ketchup is not.

3) Salsa, the movie, was made in 1988 and directed by Boaz Davidson. Leonard Maltin gives it two out of four stars.

4) The Old Testament’s Book of Ruth has Boaz marrying Ruth after some cloak spreading. The movie, Story of Ruth, was made in 1960 and starred Stuart Whitman. Leonard Maltin gives it 2.5 stars.

5) Stuart Whitman was more well known for his movie roles as a cowboy such as in the 1961 movie, The Comancheros.

6) It’s unclear even after on-line search if Stuart Whitman liked salsa.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fish-Stick Fajitas

Posted on October 14, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

FISH-STICK FAJITAS

INGREDIENTS

12 fish frozen sticks
2 garlic cloves
1 medium white onion
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow bell pepper
1 red bell pepper
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2 teaspoons lime juice
1/4 teaspoon TabascoTM sauce
1 teaspoon red chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon coriander
3/4 teaspoon Seafood MagicTM spice
6 small flour tortillas
1/2 cup shredded Four Mexican cheeses

UTENSILS

No-stick frying pan
A lazy Susan, about 24 inches across, if you can find one.

PREPARATION

Cook fish sticks according to instructions on package. Use food processor to mince garlic cloves. Use knife to slice the onion and all bell peppers into rings. Then cut rings into fourths.

Pour vegetable oil and lime juice into no-stick frying pan. Cook on medium-high heat. Saute one at a time the following ingredients: onion, green bell pepper, yellow bell pepper, and red bell pepper. (Saute means to leap in French. You will leap too if the oil gets on you. Always be careful.) Put each ingredient in its own bowl. Put bowls on lazy Susan, again if you have one. Add more vegetable oil and lime juice if you run out while sauteing all the ingredients.

Whisk together in small bowl: chili powder, cumin, coriander, and Seafood spice. Apportion equally over the onion and bell-pepper bowls. Put an equal amount of TabascoTM sauce, about two drops in each bowl.

Heat each tortilla in microwave for 12 seconds. Put a tortilla with 2 fish sticks on each plate. Let the guests take as much of the onions and bell peppers as desired.

TIDBITS

1) Many believe Sonny Falcon operated the first fajita stand in Texas in 1969.

2) The word “fajita” entered the Oxford English Dictionary in 1971. Way to go, Falcon.

3) So, fajitas are not technically Mexican, but Tex-Mex.

4) TabascoTM sauce is not Mexican either. It comes from Avery Island in Louisiana and is used extensively in Cajun food.

5) The TabascoTM company was formed by the McIlhenny family, presumably not Mexicans, in 1868.

6) Mr. McIlhenny’s first instinct was to name it “Petite Anse Sauce,” but everyone else objected. Good for them.

7) Before 1863, the family made its fortune from the salt mines on Avery Island. However, in that year, Union soldiers destroyed the mines, leaving only a crop of hot peppers. Those peppers became the genesis of the TabascoTM company.

8) So, a lot of culinary good came out of the Civil War.

9) You should visit the TabascoTM factory on Avery Island. Don’t leave without going through the island’s Jungle Gardens, which boasts of a wonderful collection of flowers, birds, and alligators which can scoot as fast as 25 mph.

10) Only the alligators there scurry up to 25 mph. Don’t infer from the last sentence of 9) that flowers in Avery, Louisiana can move that fast. Flowers there and indeed everywhere else in that state are rather sedentary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Machaca Burrito

Posted on October 10, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

MACHACA BURRITO
(Allow 2 to 8 hours to prepare.)

INGREDIENTS

MARINADE

1/2 tablespoon soy sauce
1/2 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
1 tablespoons water
2 tablespoons lime juice
2 garlic cloves
1/2 serrano chile
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon coriander
1/8 teaspoon Meat MagicTM spice
2 teaspoons peanut oil
2 teaspoons vegetable oil

COOKING THE MEAT

1 1/2 pounds skirt steak (Use flap steak if your butcher doesn’t have skirt steak. Don’t let your sweetheart catch you chasing skirt around town.)

1/2 onion
1/2 green bell pepper
1/2 red bell pepper
1 serrano chiles
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
1/2 cup beef broth
1 7 ounce can diced tomatoes
1/4 teaspoon oregano
1/8 teaspoon cumin
1/8 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper

ASSEMBLY

5 large flour tortillas
5 tablespoons sour cream
2 1/2 tablespoons salsa
5 lime wedges
1 1/2 teaspoons fresh cilantro

PREPARATION

This is a dish that proves your dedication as a chef. Lots of ingredients and preparation, but lots of prestige as well. Go for it! Excelsior.

MARINATING STAGE (to be done up to 8 hours before cooking, if you have the time. This will improve the taste.)

Cut the skirt steak into 3 1-pound pieces; this is the traditional way. (The Powegian way is to immediately cut the steak into strips 1/2-inch wide by about 2-inches long. We Powegians have always been culinary rebels.) Mince the garlic cloves. Remove the stem and seeds, and insides of the serrano chiles. Mince the remaining outside of the chiles.

Combine the soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, water, lime juice, garlic, serrano chile, salt, coriander, meat spice, peanut oil, and vegetable oil in big mixing bowl. Put the steak strips in the bowl of marinade. Be sure to thoroughly coat each strip. If you can, completely seal the mixing bowl with a plastic wrap cover and refrigerate for at least 8 hours. (Omigosh, are you late for work? Run!)

COOKING STAGE (Takes at least 2 hours. Did you call in sick so you could make this dish?)

Meanwhile back at the range things are heating up. (Once again employment makes the marinating stage pass quickly. That’s why we go to work.) Dice the onion, red pepper, green pepper, and outsides of two serrano peppers.

Coat the bottom of a large pot with 4 tablespoons vegetable oil. Cook it at medium-heat until hot. Gradually add and sear strips of steak. (Searing means to quickly cook the surfaces of a piece of meat so that it will retain juices in later, slower cooking.) Put seared steak strips aside on a platter. Leave the liquid and any tiny bits of steak in pot for next stage. Don’t throw away flavor!

Add onion, red pepper, green pepper, and serrano peppers to same pan. Saute for 5 minutes. Add beef broth, tomatoes, oregano, cumin, salt, and pepper. Mix thoroughly. Add the marinated meat strips and juice to the pot. Heat at medium-high heat until it boils. (Kick out of the kitchen anyone who disagrees with your definition of boiling. You are the chef. You know.) Cover the pot and simmer for 2 hours.

If your skirt steak is still in three pieces, let it cool down on a cutting board. Now, using two forks or your fingers, shred the meat. Put the shredded steak back in the pot. Stir thoroughly and cook until most of the liquid has evaporated. (Unless, you prefer the Powegian style where the excess juice makes an excellent soup. Ah, Poway!)

ASSEMBLY STAGE

Warm the tortillas in a microwave. Put about 4 tablespoons steak mixture in the center top of the tortilla. Add, if desired, a tablespoon sour cream, a 1/2 tablespoon salsa, and a 1/2 teaspoon of diced cilantro. Take a lime wedge and squirt lime juice on top of the meat.

Fold in the tortilla’s two sides until they touch. Roll from the top of the tortilla down. Repeat this process 10 times and you will have 10 machaca burritos. And if you did recipe the Powegian way, you will have machaca soup as well. Olé.

TIDBITS

1) All recipes demand fresh ingredients such as fresh cilantro. But let’s face it, there WILL be times when you find your blood pressure soaring as you need to go back to the store for the 32nd time for another missing, fresh ingredient. Or worse, your sweetheart has gone shopping for those 31 times and is muttering about going to Home Depot to buy a stainless steel Lizzie BordenTM ax. In moments such as these, it is best to take a more relaxed view of cooking and reach for that small bottle of dried parsley.

2) Just remember one amount of a dried spice usually equals three amounts of fresh spice. This one bit of culinary knowledge has saved countless marriages and lives.

3) It’s also a good idea to scan each recipe all the way through for key words such as “marinade for 8 hours” or “simmer for 2 hours” and allot at least 10 hours for cooking. Do not, do not, try to butter your boss up for a raise with this dish and expect to start cooking an hour before dinner time.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fish-Stick Tacos

Posted on October 7, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

FISH-STICK TACOS

INGREDIENTS

9 small fish sticks
1/2 medium onion
1 garlic clove
1/2 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon Seafood MagicTM spice
2 tablespoons butter
grated four Mexican cheeses
3 taco shells
1/2 cup lettuce
salsa is optional

PREPARATION

Mince the onion and garlic in a food processor. Melt butter in sauce pan. Add onion, garlic, cumin and fish spice. Cook on medium until tender. Be sure to throughly blend in the spices. Stir frequently enough to avoid burning.

Cook the fish sticks as directed on its package. Note that many large ovens take a longer time to cook than directed while smoke billowing out of your toaster oven will forcefully suggest that it cooks food somewhat faster than you expect. Fish sticks can go past your desired level of crispiness to cinders faster than kids unwrap presents on Christmas, so check on them often. In fact, it’s always a good idea to cook in an oven with a window. (Ugh. It sounds as if I want to you cook yourself in an oven. Or cook with a window. I meant to say, “… to cook your food in an oven that has a window.” For heavens sake.)

Put three fish sticks in taco shell. Top with desired amount of onion/garlic/spices mix, grated cheeses, and lettuce. Add salsa.

TIDBITS

1) My grandmother came from Sonora, Mexico, an inland province. I never even heard of fish tacos until a few decades ago. I suspect my grandparents and parents were trying to shelter me from something.

2) Don’t be tempted to pick those fish sticks off the searing-hot cooking tray with your fingers. You’ll only make that mistake once.

3) Fish sticks were supposed to have been made out of herring, but people preferred the blander cod.

4) Fish sticks are a popular item on children’s menus.

5) So are macaroni and corn. Fish sticks, macaroni, and corn comprise Kid CuisinesTM Deep Sea Adventure Fish Stick MealTM. Give your kids this when you and your spouse wish to go out on a dinner date. You’ll feel good about yourself knowing that you gave them a restaurant kids’ meal at a fraction of the cost.

6) Fish sticks were first called, “fish fingers.” “Fish sticks” makes more sense. But then again, “chicken sticks” makes more sense than “chicken tenders.”

7) According to the Codex Standard For Frozen Fish Sticks (Fish Fingers), Fish Portions and Fish Fillets – Breaded or in Batter,

“Codex Stan 166 – 1989

“2.1.1 A fish stick (fish finger) is the product including the coating weighing not less than 20g and not more than 50g shaped so the length is not less than three times the greatest width. Each stick shall be not less than 10mm thick.”

Whew! Thank goodness some governmental agency is looking out after somebody. I was worried that the fish stick industry was the Wild West.

8) However, the amount of mercury that may be eaten in fish is subject only to a federal advisory.

9) Mercury is no longer used in thermometers due the danger it presented to small kids who might break the fragile instrument.

10) Indeed, it is impossible to find a thermometer containing any type of mercury-carrying fish. This shows the fear the thermometer industry has toward even trace amounts of mercury.

Years of gainful employment may be no more for America’s big bird if Romney wins the election in November.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Super Burritos

Posted on September 4, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

SUPER BURRITOS

INGREDIENTS

1 medium onion
2 tablespoons cumin
1 1/2 pounds ground turkey
1 cup mayonnaise
1/2 cup salsa
2 cans kidney beans, drained of water
1 1/2 cups grated four Mexican cheeses
10 large flour tortillas

PREPARATION OF THE BURRITO’S INNARDS

Mince the onion. Mix it and the cumin into the ground meat by hand. Cook the meat until browned. Note, browned turkey meat is whiter than browned beef.

(You can substitute other meat for turkey. You can even use ground up vegetarian chicken. I don’t recall what went into this meat substitute, but it did taste vaguely like chicken and turned out well in this recipe.)

Add the mayonnaise and mix. (Why are there two “n”s in “mayonnaise?”) Stir in the salsa. It is essential to taste now. If your taste buds tell you it needs more spice, add more cumin or salsa. If you want your creation to be smoother, add more mayonnaise. If your mixture isn’t thick enough, you can lose liquid to evaporation by letting the mix simmer longer. Or as I prefer, use any liquidy mix as a sauce or a fantastic soup.

Remember to constantly stir, especially after adding the cheese. It takes forever to scrub off burnt cheese from the bottom of the pan.

Add kidney beans and cheese. Cook at medium heat until all the beans are hot enough and the cheese melted.

ASSEMBLING THE BURRITO

The tortilla should be big. A big tortilla is much more likely to hang together during rolling than a small one, especially given most people’s tendency to put too much meat mix onto the burrito. Size matters.

The tortilla must be pliable or easy to fold. Tortillas that have been sitting in the refrigerator for a while get brittle. Microwave them in the microwave for about ten seconds or so, until they become soft.

Never, but never, make burritos with corn tortillas. They will break apart. The burrito’s innards will ooze out the sides. You’ll panic and try to keep everything together with toothpicks. Maybe these burritos will hold together until served. (However, they will surely fall apart when the millionaire parents of your fiancé pick them up. A bad first impression of you? You bet. So, use flour tortillas, okay?)

Anyway, scoop about two tablespoons burrito mix onto the center bottom of the burrito. Fold the bottom over the mix. Fold the sides in until they almost touch. Roll the bottom of the tortilla over and over until your burrito is formed.

It takes some practice to do this right. It is easier than it might seem to burst the tortilla with too much mix or have the mix escape out the sides. But you will get it right after one or two tries.

Your family will smile beatifically at you. Your kids, who have been grunting monosyllabic words at you for months, will favor you with, “Awesome food” and “Parental figure, may I enjoy an additional helping?.” Cooking doesn’t get much better than this.

TIDBITS

1) “Burrito” is Spanish for “little burro.” Why Spanish-speaking people think a burrito looks like a little donkey is beyond me.

2) Not many people believe Marco Polo brought back burritos from China in the 1200s.

3) Probably because it is not true.

4) Many do believe, however, the burrito was first made by Juan Mendez during the Mexican Revolution.

5) So, revolutions have their upsides.

6) Bad for the part of my family that lost its ranch in the Mexican revolution.

7) But Mexico also gave us the crispy corn taco with shredded beef. How can I not forgive and forget?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Shredded-Chicken Burrito

Posted on August 26, 2012 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

SHREDDED-CHICKEN BURRITOS

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds chicken breast
1 medium onion
1 14.5 can diced tomatoes
1/2 cup salsa
1 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon chili powder
1/4 teaspoon Poultry MagicTM spice
1 7 ounce can diced green chiles
1 16 ounce can refried beans
1/2 cup mayonnaise or sour cream
1 cup grated four Mexican cheeses
8 flour tortillas (bigger tortillas make bigger burritos)

PREPARATION

Defrost chicken by leaving it out on the stove for hours. Mince chicken in food processor. Mince onion. Mix chicken, onion, tomatoes, salsa, cumin, chili, poultry spice, and green chiles. Cook on medium-to-high heat until chicken is done. Add green chiles, refried beans, mayonnaise or sour cream, and grate cheese and cook until beans are hot. The mayonnaise or sour cream makes the refried beans much smoother. Milk has the same effect. (Now you know. Your world has just gotten sunnier and so will all the people you will meet in the next twenty-four hours.)

Heat the tortillas in the microwave for 20-30 seconds. This makes them warm and much easier to roll and fold without breaking. To make the burrito, put 2-3 tablespoons of the above chicken mixture 1/3 of the way down the tortilla. Fold the top of the tortilla over the mixture. Fold in the sides of the tortilla as far as you can. They must cover the mixture. While keeping the sides folded in, roll the tortilla as far as you can. You are now a burrito whiz. Olé.

TIDBITS

1) “Ito” at the end of Spanish words means the particular thing is “little.” So, “burrito” means little “burro.”

2) Judge Ito presided over the O.J. Simpson murder trial.

3) I have a friend who lives near the house where the murder took place. The place looks nice.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Eggs Benedict

Posted on August 23, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Entree

EGGS BENEDICT

INGREDIENTS

16 tablespoons or 2 sticks butter
6 egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon thyme

8 slices Canadian bacon
8 eggs
2 teaspoons white vinegar
2 teaspoons rice vinegar
4 English muffins
2 sticks butter

Note: this recipe is made for people allergic to undercooked eggs. If you prefer runnier eggs, please halve the times below.

PREPARATION

Melt two sticks of butter in sauce pan. Add 6 egg yolks, lemon juice, salt, cayenne, Worcestershire sauce, and thyme. Mix thoroughly with whisk. Cook on medium high for 6 minutes or until sauce thickens. Stir frequently.

While sauce is cooking, put bacon in frying pan. Cook on medium heat for about 8 minutes flipping the bacon (BACON!) occasionally until both sides turn brown.

While you are cooking the sauce and frying the bacon, (BACON!) start poaching the eggs. Fill a large sauce pan 2/3 to the top with water. Add rice vinegar and white vinegar. Lower the heat until low and wait until the surface of the water is smooth. (You most certainly do not want to be burnt with bubbling water when you add the eggs.) Crack the shells and slide the eggs in the water. Raise the heat to medium and cook for 8 minutes.

In the spare seconds between attending to the sauce, bacon, and poached eggs, toast 4 English muffins or 8 half muffins. (As you can see this is not a dish where you can safely read Moby Dick.)

Butter the cranny-filled side of a muffin half. Add a slice of Canadian bacon, then a poached egg. (Use a spoon with holes in it to retrieve the egg.) Top with Hollandaise sauce.

Be sure to thank vigorously anyone who helps you clean up after this one. If your date cooks you this dish and has everything completely cleaned up by serving time, consider proposing.

TIDBITS

1) Canadian Bacon comes from Canada. Canada has lot of “a”s in it.

2) So does the Mexican city of Guadalajara.

3) America went to war with Mexico in 1846. As a result, America won the entire southwest part of the modern U.S.

4) America never went to war with Canada. Oh sure, we invaded it in 1812, but it was still part of Britain. That war ended in a tie. We got nothing.

5) Maybe it’s because Guadalajara has one more “a” in it than Canada.

6) But everything’s okay now between America and Canada.

7) But who is Benedict and why did he get eggs named after him? Seems like a great idea for product placement.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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