Posts Tagged With: scissors

Raznici (Grilled Pork Skewers)

Croatian Entree

RAZNICI
(Grilled Pork Skewers)

INGREDIENTS

1¼ pounds pork loin
1 small onion
2 bell peppers (any color)
2 garlic cloves
6 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
½ tablespoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon salt

SPECIAL UTENSILS

outdoor grill
10 skewers

Makes 10. Takes 2 hours.

PREPARATION

Cut pork into 1″ cubes. Cut onion in half. Separate onion layers and cut them into 1″ squares. Seed bell pepper. Cut bell pepper into 1″ squares. Mince garlic cloves. Add all ingredients to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until pork cubes are coated. Cover and marinate in refrigerator for 1 hour.

15 minutes before pork cubes have finished marinating, preheat grill to medium. Drain liquid from mixing bowl. Alternate putting pork cubes, onion squares, and bell-pepper squares on skewers. Repeat for each skewer. Place skewers on grill. Grill skewers for 7 minutes on both sides or until pork browns and is white inside . Goes well with salad or veggies.

TIDBITS

1) Long ago, armies fought each other by throwing rocks. The most clever cities fought back with paper, for as we all know paper covers rocks. Then Assyria overran all with its elite scissor forces. But in 605 the Medes conquered Assyria with old-school rocks. Rock, paper, scissors might be seem to be just an innocent children’s game today, but at one time it was a training exercise that all armies took seriously. The entire region remained in rock-paper-scissors (RPS) turmoil for centuries. But in 336 B.C., young Alexander the Great drew blood when he pricked his finger eating shish kabobs. The brilliant military innovator equipped his troops with shisk-kabob skewers. He soon lengthened these skewers into 12′ long spears. His infantry could impale its RPS enemies before they could get close enough to do any harm in return. Alexander’s technologically superior armies would go onto conquer Greece and Persia. The world would never be the same. Shish kabobs are everywhere.

Chef Paulcookbookhunks

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with 180 wonderful recipes is available on amazon.com. My newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, is also available on amazon.com

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Tourtiere (Canadian Meat Pie)

Canadian Entree

TOURTIERE
(meat pie)

INGREDIENTSTourtiere-

1 pounds ground pork
½ pound ground beef
1 medium onion
1 small brown potato
1 garlic clove
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground clove
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon thyme
1¼ cups water

1 small egg
1 pastry for 9″ double-crust pie

SPECIAL INGREDIENT

9″ pie pan

Takes 2 hours

PREPARATION

Dice onion. Peel potato. Slice potato into ½” cubes. Add top thirteen ingredients, ground pork to water, to large pan Bring to boil using high heat. Stir frequently. Cover, reduce heat to low-medium, and simmer for 30 minutes or until onion and potato are soft. Stir occasionally, enough to keep ingredients from burning. Add water as necessary to keep mixture moist.

Line pie pan with layer of pastry. Add pork/beef/potato mix to pie pan. Let cool at room temperature, about 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cover pork/beef/potato mix with top layer of pastry. Use fork to push edges of the pastry layers together. Use knife to make 6 1″ slits in top pastry layer. Add egg to small mixing bowl. Beat with whisk. Brush top pastry layer with thin egg coating. Bake at 400 degrees for 40 minutes or until golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) I wish I had known about the following event when I was more athletic, agile, and the intellectual terror of the world. But whatever you skill level, run, jump and hop to the Rock, Paper, Scissors World Championship in Toronto, Canada. Rock, paper, scissors (RPS) is often called the best non-violent resolution to conflicts the world over. It must be so; Canadian RPS grand masters have successfully kept their country out of major conflicts for decades. Culinary personal trainers will tell would be contestants dedicate 30 minutes each day to finger-flexing, wrist-twisting, and elbow-bending exercises if they wish to do at all well at the championship. Cross training by playing chess is often recommended as well.

2) The more aquatically minded tourists head to Nanaimo, British Columbia, for its four-day marine festival. All sorts of fun events take place, but really everyone is looking ahead to the the World Championship Bathtub Race (WCBR) which takes place on the last day. It’s a 36-mile race across the Georgia Straits which presumably is nearby. Serious contestants $3,000 on their tubs outboard motors. And after the race, why not cruise the Canadian coast in your tub? Traveling by airplane, car, train, or even cruise ship is so 2014. Just be sure to carry a good life jacket and stay close to shore, and avoid big ships.

3) Perhaps the best Elvis impersonator festival in the world occurs in the summer at the Collingwood Elvis festival which thank goodness, is held in Collingwood, Ontario. This festival draws a variety of people . . . Oh heck, no it doesn’t. Only lovers of Elvis’ music will go. Oh, and Elvis impersonators. Expect to see lots and lots of Elvis impersonators. This is a good thing, however, if you love Elvis’s music and if you don’t love his songs, then why are you attending an Elvis festival?

4) Clear your musical palate by attending the Accordion Extravaganza! in Edmonton, Alberta. Pop in on all sorts of concerts, workshops, dances, and competitions, all featuring the accordion. Accordion lovers will melt in ecstasy here. Accordion haters will spontaneously combust. Culinary psychologists speculate that the three leading causes of divorce are: 1) monetary problems, 2) infidelity, and 3) irreconcilable–Woo! I spelled that word right on the first try–over accordion music.

5) Looking for something to do after your significant other combusted? Then make your way to the Poutine Festival in Drummondville, Quebec. Poutine, perhaps Quebec’s most famous dish, consists of French fries, beef gravy, and cheese curds or mozzarella. Listen to wonderful music while tasting caloric culinary greatness. Heart specialists are standing by.

6) Sluggish after overindulging with poutine? It’s delicious, who could not? Then have someone take you to Calgary, Alberta, International Festival of Animated Objects.. Puppet shows and performances with other animated thingys touch on dark, troubling themes. Even though, many of the shows are supposed to be family friendly, it all seems rather ominous.

7) Clear your head of scary puppets by attending any number of Scottish festivals around Canada, where they eat Scottish food, dance to Scottish music, and do all sorts of Scottish things.

8) Continue to embrace your inner Northern Europeaniness by raiding your way to the Icelandic Festival in Gimli, Manitoba, in August. The festival features a Viking encampment AND demonstrations of Viking warfare. Woot! Way Cool! Way Cool! I want to go there. I want to go. Take me with you, I’ll be ever so good. I’ll cook and clean, and everything. There is also a Viking parade which is also way cool. And don’t forget the crowning of the Fjalkona, the Maid of the Mountain. The Fjalkona is held to be the female incarnation of Iceland. Heavy responsibility, you bet! This is festival is so cool. Please take me with you.

– Chef Paul

4novels

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World,  and novels are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sausage and Pepperoni Pizza

Italian Entree

SAUSAGE AND PEPPERONI PIZZA

INGREDIENTSSausagePeppPizza-

1 pizza crust
2 cups pasta sauce (see recipe)
8 ounces sausage meat
4 ounces sliced pepperoni
1⅔ cups mozzarella cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

16″ pizza pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Put pizza crust on pizza pan. Spread pasta sauce over entire crust. Make ½” sausage balls. Put sausage balls and pepperoni slice evenly over sauce. Bake pizza in oven at 400 degrees for 10-to-15 minutes or until cheese turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Pizza has a long and rich history. So does the game of rock, paper, scissors.

2) The game started as rock, rock, rock in Vivaldi Gorge in the year 3,200,010 BC.. The game was played with real rocks and always ended in a tie. Caveman Ogg never lost. He even considered going pro, but stopped from a lack of corporate sponsors.

3) Ten years later Ogg accused Lucy from Olduvai Gorge of cheating. The enraged Ogg used the rock to brain his foe. Ogg fictionalized the account of his bloody deed on his cave’s walls. This was the start of the literary crime genre. So some good came out of it.

4) Lucy’s kin attacked Ogg’s family, driving them far away. In 1949 Drs. Leakey started looking for human bones in Vivaldi Gorge. Ten years later, they switched to Olduvai Gorge and found the bones of Lucy next to a tablet inscribed with the cryptic code of W-0, L-0, T-1,723. Oh, a baseball was found as well, but that’s almost certainly an artifact.

5) In 1845, Alexander Cartwright formalized the rules of baseball. Baseball with its clear victor took America and much of the world by storm. Dr. Simon Iota did change the game of rock, rock, rock to rock, paper, scissors, paper in 1867. But the new rules came too late. Baseball would reign supreme. Rock, paper, scissors is hardly played and is never shown on T.V., except maybe on ESPN4 at 4 a.m. on Tuesdays.

– Chef Paul

3novels

Please check out Paul De Lancey’s books on Amazon.com.

or visit his website www.lordsoffun.com for signed copies.

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