Posts Tagged With: dessert

Sugar Cookies

Posted on September 11, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SUGAR COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

3 cups flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup butter
1 cup sugar
½ cup white chocolate flavored cocoa, or an extra ½ cup sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Makes 55 cookies. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

cookie gun (optional, it’s faster without it)
cookie sheet

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Preparation is easier if the butter is already soft. You can accomplish this by simply taking the butter out of the refrigerator an hour before you’re ready to start. (Or you can pretend you’re Rocky Balboa getting ready for a big fight and batter those butter sticks into submission with your fists of steel.)

Use whisk to blend flour, baking powder, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl. Set aside. Place butter, sugar, flavored cocoa, egg, and vanilla extract in another mixing bowl. Mix with hands or electric beater set on “cookies.” Gradually add in the blended flour mixture. Again, blend thoroughly. If you have a cookie gun or cookie press to make shapes, great. If not, roll dough into little balls 1″ wide. (Keep dough covered until ready to use in a batch.)Place dough onto ungreased cookie sheets.

Bake for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let stand on cookie sheet for 2 minutes and then cool on wire racks for faster cooling. If you don’t own a wire rack, either let the cookies cool for a long time on the hot sheet or transfer them with a spatula to a cold plate. And who says you have to wait until the cookies are completely cold to eat them? Just as long as the cookies aren’t hot enough to burn your fingers or your tongue.

TIDBITS

1) Don’t try to go through airport security with a cookie gun. I just have a bad feeling about it. Does airport security like doughnuts as much as local police?

2) Britain invaded Afghanistan in the 19th century. Russia invaded it in 1980. Both countries got kicked out. Neither nation’s army carried chocolate doughnuts. However, America there in 2002 with 100,000 soldiers armed to the teeth with chocolate doughnuts. We’re still in Afghanistan.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ice Cream Soda

Posted on September 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

ICE CREAM SODA

INGREDIENTS

1 cup milk
3/4 cup chocolate syrup
3 1/2 cups vanilla ice cream
2 cups seltzer (AKA carbonated water)

UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Add milk, chocolate syrup, vanilla ice cream, and seltzer to blender. Set blender to “milkshake” and blend for about 10 seconds only.

Fills 4 large glasses.

This delicious drink should be served to loved ones only. (Lock your doors, close your drapes, and turn off all your lights if mere acquaintances drop by when you make this. If later they comment on these events, look worried and say, “I knew my home was haunted.” They’ll never again ask you for an ice cream soda, if they ever even come by again.)

TIDBITS

1) Soda water can be good for you! If your stomach is empty, drinking soda water once a day helps your body maintain its natural PH.

2) Eating once a day is good for you! However, your stomach will not be empty and tidbit 1) does not apply.

3) Tidbits may or may not be good for you!

4) Soda water is once again good you! Drinking it will combat bacteria causing sore throats and mouth ulcers.

5) Scotch is bad for you! It gives you hangovers and destroys brain cells.

6) Scotch and soda water is good or bad for you.

7) Drinking Scotch and soda while driving is bad for you! Remarkably, the Highway Patrol doesn’t care about Tidbit 4).

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gateau A La Fleur D’oranger (Orange Flower-Water Cake)

Posted on May 19, 2012 by pauldelancey

French Dessert

GÂTEAU Â LA FLEUR D’ORANGER

INGREDIENTS

1/2 teaspoon flour
1 teaspoon butter
1/2 teaspoon brown sugar

1 1/2 cups flour
2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt

2 large eggs
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar

1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 cup milk
1 1/4 teaspoons orange flower water

1/4 cup heavy whipping cream

UTENSIL

9-inch cake pan

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Sprinkle a 1/2 teaspoon of flour along the sides and bottom of cake pan. Do the same with a teaspoon of butter. Sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon brown sugar over the flour.

Put 1 1/2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt in first mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork.

In second mixing bowl, beat 2 eggs, but not so much they lose their dignity. Add sugar and brown sugar. Mix with whisk.
Melt 1/2 cup butter. Combine contents of second mixing bowl into first mixing bowl. Add melted butter, milk, and orange flower water. Mix with whisk or blender on cake setting. Pour entire contents into cake pan.

Put cake pan in preheated oven and cook for 35 to 40 minutes. Allow cake to cool before topping cake with whipping cream.

TIDBITS

1) Many American beers are 3% alcohol. A twelve-ounce can contains .36 ounces of alcohol.

2) Orange extract, a fair substitute, for orange flower water, is 79% alcohol. My two-ounce container contains 1.58 ounces of alcohol, the same as nearly 4.4 cans of beer.

3) I’m breaking out the orange-extract. Woo hoo! Party at my place!

4) “Honestly, officer, I only had a one-ounce bottle of orange extract.”

5) The officer rolls his eyes. “Like, I never heard that before.”

6) My Mexican vanilla extract is only 1.9% alcohol. This is why it isn’t as popular at Mexican parties.

8) Consumption of cough syrup soared during the Prohibition Era. Perhaps the alcoholic content of 50%, or more, of many them contributed to this surge.

9) Why didn’t Al Capone simply open orange-extract tasting centers? People would have gotten their alcohol and Chicago would have been spared a crime wave.

10) But I can’t picture him behind an apron.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

How A Great Tip For Murder Came About

Posted on April 9, 2012 by pauldelancey
had a bag of Twizzlers yesterday and didn’t finish it. I’m worried about myself.

    • Kar:  Red ?

    • Daphne Anne Humphrey: Dearest Paul, I am positive that with the leftover Twizzlers you can come up with an amazing recipe for an entree. (Personally, I’d opt for something using boneless chicken breasts and mandarin oranges.) Has anyone ever done a Twizzler reduction sauce? I think not. But you can. Either that or whip them into a soufflé.

    • Paul De Lancey:  But, but, but I left them on the other side of the country! *head desk*

    • Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am positive they have stores that sell Twizzlers in your area of the country.

    • Steve: Buy some of that red spaghetti-like licorice and make a pasta dish for dessert.

    • Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am thinking a mini lemon tart with a twizzler foam and a mint sprig garnish. (Honestly if the top tier chefs can use Twinkies, Oreos or Reese’s Peanut butter cups to create 30 dollar a plate deserts you can certainly create a “je ne c’est quois” desert with Twizzlers.)

       

    • Robert  Personally, I prefer Red Vines.

    • Daphne Anne Humphrey: I am thinking that perhaps Red Vines would hang someone nicely. Do you think I could get away with it if I ate the evidence?

    • Robert: Only i f they hav small necks….

  •  I was about to respond when I realized Daphne’s great idea would help everyone and that a blog was the best way to disseminate it.

    – Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

    My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: bad advice, obsevations | Tags: , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Banana Chocolate Peanut-Butter Milkshake From Cookbook

Posted on March 8, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

BANANA CHOCOLATE PEANUT-BUTTER MILKSHAKE

INGREDIENTS

3 bananas
2 1/2 cups milk
1/2 cup chocolate syrup
1/2 cup peanut butter

ORDINARY UTENSIL

blender

PREPARATION

Peel the bananas. (Sometimes a banana is just a banana, especially in a recipe.) Put bananas, milk, chocolate syrup, and peanut butter in blender. Use “milkshake” setting. Blend until shake is sufficiently smooth for your taste.

This delicious milkshake also is a diet buster. Drink with care. Aw, what the heck, have two glasses. You can burn off the calories climbing Mount Kilimanjaro.

TIDBITS

1) Chocolate is good for you! It contains over 300 mineral properties that help your health.

2) Chocolate is good for you! Dark chocolate has more antioxidants than green tea.

3) Chocolate is good for you! Eating chocolate gives you the same squooshy feeling as falling in love.

4) Chocolate is good for you! Chocolate melting in your mouth can produce a stronger sensation than you get from kissing. What were the makers of M&MsTM thinking?

5) Chocolate is good for you! Chocolate can ease menstrual cycles. Who knew?

6) Chocolate is good for you! Chocolate can help blood flow to lungs and assorted organs.

7) Chocolate is good for you! Eating chocolate increases your ability to think.

8) Chocolate is good for you! Eating chocolate can increase your life span.

9) Chocolate is bad for you. It can cause you to gain weight.

10) Bicycles are good for you! Bike riding makes you lose weight.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blueberry Cheesecake

Posted on March 2, 2012 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

BLUEBERRY CHEESECAKE

INGREDIENTS

CRUST

4 tablespoons butter, usually a half stick
1 1/4 cups graham crackers, usually about 1 package
1/4 cup sugar

FILLING

4 8 ounce packages of cream cheese
5 eggs
1 cup white sugar (don’t put sugar away, you’ll still need it again)
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt

TOPPING

2 1/2 cups, about a 16 ounce bag, of fresh or frozen blueberries
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 1/2 cups sour cream
3/8 cups or 6 tablespoons white sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup water

PREPARATION OF CRUST

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Melt butter in small saucepan, one designed specifically for butter if you have it. Turn the graham crackers into crumbs by using food processor. (If you have the urge to make the crumbs with a hammer, it’s probably time to take a deep breath, pour yourself a nice, cold glass of root beer, sit down, and listen to few songs by Alvin and the Chipmunks before continuing.)

Pour the melted butter, crumbs, and sugar into a baking dish at least 9-inches wide. Mix thoroughly with fork. Press firmly and uniformly on the mixture. Bake at 325 degrees for about 10 minutes or lightly browned. Let cool, on a baking rack if you have one.

PREPARATION OF FILLING

Place cream cheese, eggs, sugar, cornstarch, and salt in large mixing bowl. Use electric beater to combine ingredients. Start on lowest setting and gradually increase the speed of the beaters to “cream,” or almost the highest setting. (Your kitchen walls might resemble modern art if you immediately start with the highest setting.)

Bake for 70 minutes at 325 degrees or until cheese center barely moves when baking dish is moved. Let dish cool down. Chill completely in refrigerator.

PREPARATION OF TOPPING

Combine blueberries and cornstarch in food processor and chop and grind away until mixture is pureed.

Pour mixture into mixing bowl. Add sour cream, sugar, vanilla extract, and water. Blend with fork or electric beater set to “blend.”

Pour this topping into saucepan. Bring to boil while stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium and cook for about 5 minutes while stirring.

Pour topping on top of cheesecake and spread evenly. (Yes, you will wash dishes with this dessert.) Refrigerate until chilled.

This recipe can be made in various ways: with or without sour cream, or with the sour cream separated out into another layer. Experiment and enjoy.

TIDBITS

1) During the Roaring ‘20s, “cheesecake” meant a woman showed her legs.

2) Marshall Bernadotte of Napoleon’s Grande Armée was known as “Belles Jambes,” or “Beautiful Legs.”

3) Rod Stewart sang the hit song, Hot Legs.

4) Chicken Legs are deep fried in hot oil.

5) America is dependent on foreign oil.

6) But it wasn’t in the ‘20s when “cheesecake” meant a woman showed her legs.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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