Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef

When I Sang and Danced on Stage

Posted on September 7, 2024 by pauldelancey

The play, You’re a Big Man, Charlie Brown sold out so many performaces in 1967. It did so well that my fifth-grade teacher felt inspired to produce the play for Santa Anita Elementary. There were two shows. Each show had a completely different cast. The teacher, Mr. Schneider, cast me for the role of Snoopy.

Playing Snoopy required the actor to sing and dance.

1) I could not sing. I still cannot sing. I am tone deaf, well mostly.

2) I could not dance. I still have enormous problems moving my feet in time to the beat.

3) However, I could memorize lines and could be counted on to deliver them in front of an audience of parents and school kids.

But that was enough then to garner the coveted role of Snoopy.

Since, musical parts have been distressingly few and far between.

Life is hard. I flamed out early.

Even so, I still get dreams where I find myself on stage without ever being given my lines.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me | Tags: acting roles, actor, Charlie Brown, Comic Chef, dance, Elementary, fifth grade, good food, memorize lines, musical, on stage, Santa Anita, sing, Snoopy, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown | Leave a comment

Best Book Ever – Coming Soon

Posted on September 2, 2024 by pauldelancey

Award-winning author Carl La Fong dazzles us again with his latest self-help book, Serenity Through Tacos and Meditation. After all who doesn’t love tacos? Nobody. And meditation is so easy. You don’t even need glasses.

Learn serenity through his ten easy lessons.

Soon you’ll be chanting:

“I am the taco.
“I am meditation.
“I am the Serenity Emperor.
“Ohm.”

And who doesn’t want to be the Serenity Emperor? Buy Mr. La Fong’s book and become his Most Serene Highness. You’ll be glad you did.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cartoon, Great Things to Think About, lifestyle, things to see and do, wise words | Tags: author, award winning, best book ever, book, car keys, Comic Chef, emperor, glasses, meditation, ohm, self help, serenity, tacos, ten easy lessons | Leave a comment

How to Swear in French

Posted on August 31, 2024 by pauldelancey

Hi, gentle readers, people often ask me, “How I do I say, ‘Go feck yourself’ in French?

As always, I’m happy to address my readers’ concerns. Also, I’ve just come from an appointment for an MRI. Even though I’d booked the appointment a week ago online, the receptionists said they had no such appointment. I could, however, schedule an appointment for September 21. Unfortunately, my regularly scheduled appointment with my primary doctor is on September 16.

So this.

Just to remind you, just as Americans say, “Sleep with” instead of “I fecked,” the French use “Baiser,” or “to kiss” as their euphemism.

OK, tell the offending Frenchmen, “Allez baiser une vache.”

This is the polite way to tell him to feck a cow. However if you wish to be insulting, substitute the formal conjugation of “go” or “allez” with the informal “vas.” Use of the informal conjugation is reserved for listeners who are young kids, married folks, or your palpable inferiors.

So, if you aim to insult the French clod, say, “Vas baiser une vache.”

I hope this helps enhance your French vactions.”

À toute à l’heure.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: They Say | Tags: allez, Comic Chef, cow, doctor's appointment, euphemism, feck, formal, informal, insulting, kiss, MRI, polite way, primary doctor, sleep with, vache | Leave a comment

Back to the Fridge

Posted on August 30, 2024 by pauldelancey

I started the day by contemplating the infinite. Having thusly penetrated all the secrets of the universe, I attempted a minor reorganization of the fridge. Why not? I was on a roll.

Space needed to be made in the fridge. Amelia Earhart* or Waldo could have been hiding there. Then for reasons I still don’t comprehend the reorganizing project spun wildly out of control. Soon, I found myself getting more effecient placement of all my cooking appliances. This naturally, led to reordering of about 50 jars of flours, salts, rices, etc. Contents of jars sitting quietly, minding their own business of the shelves suddenly found themselves funneled into a smaller jars.

Having opened the Pandora box of reorganization, I next tackled rearranging some 100 small containers of spices and herbs. Again, contents made their way into smaller bottles. A scant six hours later, I went back to the fridge and moved things around.

I took out my frustration by running. I did the mile in 3 minutes 20 seconds, which would have been a record, but no one was around to witness it. Bummer.

* = Can you spell Amelia Earhart?**

** = Oops, kinda made it easy, didn’t I?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: about me, De Lancey's Daily Deeds | Tags: Amelia Earhart, Comic Chef, cooking appliances, flour, fridge, herbs, infinite, pandora, refrigerator, reorganize, rices, running, salt, spices, Waldo | 1 Comment

Kitchen Tips, #3, The Oven

Posted on August 29, 2024 by pauldelancey

Using the oven can be daunting, if not downright terrifying.

“The oven is so confusing, ” I hear you say. “Won’t someone please tell us how to use it?”

I’m glad you asked. Yes, indeed the oven can be intimidating with all those dials.

However, you’ll bake an excellent dish everytime if follow these basic steps.

1) Preheat the oven.

2) Put the food to be baked in the oven. (This is a critical step or so a friend told me.)

3) Take the food out. (Also important, unless of course, you’re trying to make charcoal and black smoke.)

There you have it, you chef, you.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: how to use, kitchen tips | Tags: bake, basic steps, black smoke, charcoal, chef, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, friend, good food, oven, Paul R. De Lancey, preheat, recipes, terrifying | Leave a comment

Çilbir (Turkish Eggs)

Posted on August 27, 2024 by pauldelancey

Turkish Entree

ÇILBIR

(Turkish Eggs)

INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves

1 cup Greek yogurt or yogurt

¼ cup olive oil

1 tablespoon Aleppo pepper or red pepper flakes

4 eggs

3 tablespoons white vinegar

4 slices bread or flatbreads

1 teaspoon dill (optional)

Serves 4. Takes 25 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add garlic and yogurt to mixing bowl. Mix using fork or whisk until well blended. Add olive oil to pan. Heat olive oil at medium heat until a tiny bit of Aleppo starts to dance. Add Aleppo pepper. Cook at medium heat for 1 minute or until Aleppo pepper becomes fragrant. Remove from heat.

Add enough water to pot to poach 4 eggs. Bring water to boil using high heat. Add eggs and white vinegar to pot. Poach eggs for 3 minutes or until the egg whites are cooked through, or until the eggs are done to your liking. While eggs poach, toast bread.

Add toast to plate. Evenly spread the garlic/yogurt mix on the 4 pieces of toast. Use slotted spoon to transfer a poached egg to each slice of toast (Let water drain from spoon.) Drizzle Aleppo pepper/oil evenly over the toast slices. Garnish evenly with dill.

TIDBITS

1) A horse is a horse, of course, of course. But who ever heard of a talking horse?

2) “Çilbur!”

3) Çilbur is Turkish for the name of this dish.

4) It is also what all Turkish horses say. Turkish don’t neigh, they çilbur.

5) The first Turk, Adlee Badem, to make this dish was quite pleased with it, and why not? But he didn’t have a name for it? How could he boast of it when it didn’t know what to call it?

6) As luck would have, the exact moment Badem plated his entree, his horse said, “Çilbur.” “That’s a great name,” thought Adlee. Ever since then, we’ve all called this dish, “Çilbur.” Now you know.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: Aleppo pepper, cilbur, Comic Chef, cookbook, eggs, entree, garlic, Greek yogurt, horse, neigh, poached egg, toast, Turkish, Turkish eggs | Leave a comment

What I Did Today

Posted on August 26, 2024 by pauldelancey

Liechtenstein, a tough nut to crack

After much internal debate, I got out of bed, showered, and got dressed. Look at me, all adulty and everything.

Poked around my finances instead of taking to the street and fomenting revolution.

Make an appointment to have my ears looked at.

When shopping at the supermarket. I was planning to make a two course meal.

I decided instead to invade Leichtenstein. It did not got well.

Me: Yo ho, I’m invading your country. I’m going to rule your country.

Border Guard: No you’re not. I’ll stop you.

Me: You and what army?

Border Guard blows whistle. Three burly sorts run up to me.

Border Guard: Me and the Leichtensteinan army.

Me: Aw, man.

Border Guard: Shoo. Shoo.

So, I went home, dejected and tired. I jettisoned plans to make Cilbir (Turkish eggs with yogurt.) and made Powegian Pastrami Pepperoni wraps instead.

I’ve had a couple glasses of chocolate glasses since then and am feeling more upbeat.

I hope you behaved yourselves while I was careening around Europe.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: what I did | Tags: apocalyptic, appointment, army, border guard, Cilbir, Comic Chef, cookbook, ears, eggs, finances, Leichtebstein, Poway, revolution, supermarket, Turkish | Leave a comment

Start for Possible New Novel

Posted on August 23, 2024 by pauldelancey

HARALD THE AXE MURDERER

Harald, the axe murderer, harbored a dark secret. No, it wasn’t that he was an introvert, although he did find the world a little peoply. However Harald, being a rather focused and proactive sort did all he could to bring that annoyance to manageable proportions.

No, I don’t yet know his dark secret. I only learned of his existence about a half hour ago while making pasta for dinner. I can tell you, though, that I used penne pasta, Italian seasoning, garlic-pepper salt, Fontina cheese, Roma tomatoes, and onion.

Perhaps I will eventually tell you about the workings of Harald’s mind in similar detail. But as of now, no. We’ve just met and we haven’t learned to trust each other. Also, he wields an axe expertly and I can place a fire breathing dragon in the bathroom when he gets up at 3 am to pee.

And now, on to his adventures, we don’t want to keep him waiting.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Harald the Axe Murderer | Tags: adventures, apocalyptic, axe, axe murderer, bathroom, Comic Chef, dark secret, dinner, dragon, fire breathing, Fontina, Harald, introvert, Italian, murders, pasta, pee, peoply, seasoning, thriller | Leave a comment

The Great Latch Hook Project – Part 10

Posted on August 22, 2024 by pauldelancey

Yesterday, I finished the Great Latch Hook Project. I started around the beginning of the year. It took 8,740 hooks. I went through major delays from May to now, due to Covid and surgery. But now, it’s mounted in a frame. I persevered.

Go me.

Great Latch Hook Project #10 – 8/21/24

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: latch hook | Tags: beneficial, Charlie Brown, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, Covid, hooks, hunks, latch hook, Lutheran, Paul DeLancey, persevered, project. gall bladder, surgery, thriller | 1 Comment

Buy Cheap Butt!

Posted on August 21, 2024 by pauldelancey

With all the inflation, shrinkflation, and greedflation going on lately, it is indeed heartening to discover that the price of something we all love is actually going down.

Act now! Get your hands on some cheap butt. Mmm.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

Categories: Butt Munch, lust, misread | Tags: 99 cent, beach, beneficial, butt, cheap, cheap butt, Chef Paul, Comic Chef, cookbook, greedflation, hunks, inflation, Lutheran, sale, shrinkflation | Leave a comment

Posts Tagged With: Comic Chef

When I Sang and Danced on Stage

Best Book Ever – Coming Soon

How to Swear in French

Back to the Fridge

Kitchen Tips, #3, The Oven