Posts Tagged With: Bacon & Chocolate

Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Press Release

Posted on August 23, 2013 by pauldelancey

Without any real effort on our own the B&C has developed a nascent social consciousness. As far as I can tell our platform is:

1: We promote and enjoy bacon.fudge
2: We promote and enjoy chocolate.
3: We will save our bees.
4: We sick Ms. Elizabeth Warren on the banks.
5. We will not monitor your phone records. Heck, we hardly look at our own. Who can understand them?

Note: the fourth point assumes Ms. Warren will be a part of Bacon & Chocolate’s team when it sweeps to victory in November, 2016. Would someone who knows her please ask her to join our party? Thanks. We’re kinda shy.

Paul R. De Lancey – Presidential Candidate
Candace C. Bowen – Vice-Presidential Candidate
Jonna Pattillo – Political advisor

Visit our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/BaconChocolateParty

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Los Candidatos Need Your Votes

Posted on April 14, 2013 by pauldelancey

Candace C. Bowen and I really need your votes if Bacon & Chocolate is to win today in Venezuela’s election. Do not let trifles such as wrong citizenship or the nearest polling booth being thousands of miles away deter you. Vote often! Excelsior! Cowabunga!

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Candace C. Bowen – Bacon & Chocolate Party’s Great Candidate for Vice President of Venezuela

Posted on April 13, 2013 by pauldelancey

My Dear Venezuelans:
Are you tired of the status-quo? Of course you are! Tomorrow you have a chance for change. Join presidential candidate Paul De Lancey and yoursflag truly to ride the dark horse to election victory. Like our fellow candidates in every nation, we will make impossible promises that we have no intention of actually keeping. Do you love bacon, chocolate and Venezuelan hot dogs? Who doesn’t? We will fill every household with a lifetime supply. Take your family and friends to the polls tomorrow and help us declare victory. Vote twice for good measure and we’ll throw in imported relish for your hot dogs. Bring your enemies and we’ll throw in organic mustard and ketchup. The time is now to make a stand my friends. Viva la bacon and chocolate!
Candace C. Bowen
Candidate for Vice President

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Why You Should Make Me El Presidente Of Venezuela

Posted on April 12, 2013 by pauldelancey

Hi! People Of Venezuela. My main competitor, Senor Madero promises everything, maduro
including “To be the salvation of the human species on the planet.” (See poster point 7.) That is indeed a worthy goal. Yet, I entertain doubts he can achieve this. And while he is failing at that, might he not neglect things that matter dearly to the great Venezuelan people?

Such as Bacon, Chocolate, and the Venezuelan hot dog. Have I stood up for bacon? Have I stood up for chocolate? Yes, I have. See the poster for the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

Can I make a Venezuelan hot dog? Yes, I can. See proof below.

Can I speak Spanish?

Si.

“Vote Bocino y Chocolate para una Mañana sabrosa.”

 

B&Ctasty

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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I Invite President Obama To Dine With Me After His Inauguration

Posted on January 16, 2013 by pauldelancey

PresObam

B&Ctastyauthor

Despite having run against him last November on the Bacon & Chocolate Party ticket, President Obama and his staff have been besieging me with requests to hold a celebration, in my fair city of Poway, in honor of his inauguration. This perplexes me for I had a standing invitation for our nation’s leader to come to my house for dinner.

In the spirit of letting bygones be bygones, I am reissuing my invitation to President
Obama to dine at my house on the day on the inauguration. Sure, I know he’ll be busy most of the day getting sworn in and what not. But after all that hoopla, Mr. President, please hop on Air Force 1 and fly over here for a feast worthy of your great day.

Not only will there be great food and all the near beer you can drink, but we strategize our plans for this great nation. After all, isn’t a capital idea to be on good term with the Bacon & Chocolate Party after it picks up seat after seat in the Congressional elections of 2014?

I’ll leave the porch light on for you.

Sincerely.

Paul R. De Lancey
Presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate Party.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Bacon & Chocolate Party Saves America From Vicious Turmoil

Posted on November 7, 2012 by pauldelancey

The stupefying result of Bacon & Chocolate winning NO electoral votes has caused much distress. It has been said that votes were not counted properly and that we should have recounts in many states. It has even been said that we should take to the streets in angry protest.

I, Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate party say no. Our electoral process is not perfect, but it is the best one we have. Let’s not rock this great nation with intransigence (woo hoo, spelled it correctly) and unbridled anger. Now is a time for peace. A time for healing. Let the angels of our better nature see only the best in our erstwhile opponents. Let us support our elected leaders. The people have spoken. Let us head their voices.

And if you still want to take to the streets, walk to your local bakery and order a fresh chocolate doughnut.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bacon & Chocolate Pitches To Non-Voters

Posted on November 5, 2012 by pauldelancey

Millions of registered voters will not vote tomorrow; enough to put someone into the presidency. So,
I’m asking all those people who will not vote tomorrow to vote for me, Paul De Lancey, Bacon & Chocolate Party.

Oh wait…

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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I Again Invite Fidel Castro Over For Dinner

Posted on October 27, 2012 by pauldelancey

A year ago, I offered Fidel Castro a retirement dinner to celebrate stepping down  as the ruler of Cuba after about only 52 years. I, the Powegian Chef, offered it to him at my humble home. Did he RSVP? Heck no? So, I’m offering one last time. What about it Fidel? I offered President Obama a dinner at my home. He didn’t bother to reply either. What happened? I’m running against him on the Bacon & Chocolate Party. All polls that I follow show B&C’s popularity surging, carrying me into the White House in November. So I suggest your RSVP “yes.” After all biting into a sandwich with hidden lutefisk in it fills the eater with severe depression. Just saying.

So, Fidel, do you like Swedish cuisine? My grandmother was from Sweden and passed on a great, authentic recipe. Or would you prefer a fine Cuban sandwich, Cuban stuffed peppers? I’ll leave the menu to you. Just let me know.

We could watch reruns of Gunsmoke after dinner. Sorry, no post-prandial cigars at this home, but wouldn’t you really rather have a peanut-butter milkshake?

We have a fold-out sofa bed if you’d care to stay the night. For the first ten minutes of the next day we could visit the cultural sites of Poway, twenty if we’re lucky enough to see street repair.

And my wife could shave off your unruly beard. She’s really good.

C’mon over Fidel, we’ll treat you right.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Police Try to Arrest Me At Last Night’s Presidential Debates

Posted on October 17, 2012 by pauldelancey

Wake up America

Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for Bacon & Chocolate Party says, “The only reason I didn’t get arrested was that I got lost going there and didn’t want to ask for directions. I drowned my sorrows with two root beers at a local Mc’Ds and went home. When I got back home, I  heard the police were waiting for me and got the Green Party instead.”

-From the Huffington Post:

Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein was arrested outside of Hofstra University on Tuesday after she attempted to enter the debate grounds.

According to Stein’s campaign press statement, Stein and running mate Cheri Honkala joined supporters outside the Hofstra campus at 2 p.m., where Stein declared: “We are here to bring the courage of those excluded from our politics to this mock debate, this mockery of democracy.” When they started to walk onto the debate grounds, they were stopped by police officers, and then the two women sat down on the ground.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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