The stupefying result of Bacon & Chocolate winning NO electoral votes has caused much distress. It has been said that votes were not counted properly and that we should have recounts in many states. It has even been said that we should take to the streets in angry protest.
I, Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate party say no. Our electoral process is not perfect, but it is the best one we have. Let’s not rock this great nation with intransigence (woo hoo, spelled it correctly) and unbridled anger. Now is a time for peace. A time for healing. Let the angels of our better nature see only the best in our erstwhile opponents. Let us support our elected leaders. The people have spoken. Let us head their voices.
And if you still want to take to the streets, walk to your local bakery and order a fresh chocolate doughnut.