Posts Tagged With: appetizer

Green Goddess Dressing

Posted on September 27, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

­

GREEN GODDESS DRESSING

­
INGREDIENTS
­
4 anchovies*
2 tablespoons lemon juice
¾ cup mayonnaise
½ cup sour cream
2 tablespoons diced fresh chives
½ tablespoon fresh dill
2 garlic cloves
⅔ cup fresh parsley
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon fresh tarragon
­
* = 2 teaspoons anchovy paste or ½ the anchovy bits in a 2-ounce can.
­
SPECIAL UTENSIL
­
food processor or blender
­
PREPARATION
­
Add all ingredients to food processor. Blend until smooth. Use now. Transfer unused portion to Mason jar. Store in refrigerator. Keeps for 1 week.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Nearly all dinosaurs died out 66 million years ago (66 mya) when a bloody minded comet slammed into the Earth. The Dinosaur Greeting Card company died out as well. Both are mourned. Only a small percentage of dinosaurs survived this mass extinction. Those that did evolved into birds. But they never lost their dinosaurial–if that is indeed a word–traits. So a condor is a bird. An eagle is a bird. The pigeon that craps on your car is a dinosaur.
­
2) The two-ounce hummingbird is a dinosaur. As of press time, the largest dinosaur, amphicoelias fragillimus weighed 100 to 150 tons. That’s quite a weight variance. Perhaps Amphi Fragilli alternated between dieting and binge eating.
­
3) Anyway, gigantic mobile plants such as: estranikon (tarragon), anitho (dill) and maintanos (parsley) walked the land after the comet crash. Alas, for this vibrant, burgeoning genus, kinita votana, dinosaur birds and mammals stalked the active plants as an abundant source of vitamin-rich food.
 Noting that their mobility garnered the attention of their predators, mobile plants evolved into stationary and much smaller plants, like the ones we grow or buy at the store. This dish, Green Goddess Dressing honors the survival of these herbs.

­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Strawberry Cucumber Water

Posted on September 9, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

­

STRAWBERRY CUCUMBER WATER

­
INGREDIENTS – MAIN
­
½ pound strawberries (¼ pound more later)
5″ cucumber (2½” more later)
8 cups water
­
INGREDIENTS – GARNISH
­
¼ pound strawberries
2½” cucumber
­
SPECIAL UTENSILS
­
mandoline (optional)
colander
2½ quart or larger pitcher
­
Serves 8. Takes 30 minutes plus 3 hours to refrigerate
PREPARATION – MAIN
­
Remove stems from ½ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 5″ cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Add strawberry slices, cucumber slices, and water to pitcher. Refrigerate for 3 hours. Strain contents through colander. Discard solids. This is the infused water. Return infused water to pitcher. Keeps for 3 days in refrigerator.
­
PREPARATION – GARNISH
­­
Remove stems from ¼ pound strawberries. Slice strawberries as thinly as you can. Cut 2½” cucumber into slices 1/16″ to ¼” thick. Garnish with strawberries and cucumber slices before serving. Stir 2 times with long wooden spoon.
­
TIDBITS
­
1) Engineers do extensive analysis before building. This usually includes constructing a scale model and subjecting it to all sorts of tests.
­
2) In this case a city, which shall remain nameless, wanted to build a bridge to tout their thriving strawberry and cucumber industries. This meant making the world’s first strawberry/cucumber bridge. Alas, the bridge failed on the very first and simple test. With the strawberry slices collapsing catastrophically under the weight of cucumber slices. (See the submerged red slices above.) A bridge that collapses under the weight of small vegetable slices is likely to collapse under the weight of vehicular traffic and even pedestrian traffic. City planners abandoned the fruit hybrid bridge.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Southwest Potato Skins

Posted on May 13, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

SOUTHWEST POTATO SKINS

INGREDIENTS

6 baking potatoes, not the itsy bitsy kind
1 green chile
4 garlic cloves
6 stalks green onion
1 tablespoon grated Parmesan cheese
½ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon paprika
¼ teaspoon dill weed
½ cup diced tomatoes
2½ cups shredded Four Mexican cheeses
¾ cup sour cream
4 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 12-ounce package bacon

4 tablespoons shredded Four Mexican cheeses

PREPARATION

Rinse potatoes. Bake potatoes according to instruction on bag; often about 50 to 60 minutes in oven preheated to 425 degrees. While the potatoes are baking, remove seeds from green chile. Cut chile lengthwise into 8 equal pieces. Mince garlic and green onion.

Combine garlic, green onion, Parmesan cheese, salt, paprika, dill weed, diced tomatoes, Mexican cheese, and sour cream in mixing bowl.

Slice all strips of bacon lengthwise into 8 equally long pieces. Separate small pieces of bacon in a no-stick frying pan. Cook at medium-high heat until all pieces turn crispy and turn golden. Stir frequently. Tilt the pan away from you so you don’t get splattered by grease. Be sure to monitor the bacon constantly. Bacon goes from a golden crispiness to charred ash faster than a politician forgets campaign promises.

Take bacon out and put on plate covered with a paper towel. Put a paper towel on top on the bacon pieces. Press down. This should remove much of the grease.

Remove potatoes from oven. Close oven door to save its heat for later. Cut baked potatoes in half lengthwise. Remove the inside white part until only ¼-inch remains all around the skin.

(For Pete’s sake, when your sweetheart asks you what plans you have for the white stuff, look him or her firmly in the eye for about five seconds and say with a strong voice, “I will make mashed potatoes with them. The mashed potatoes will be magnificent. Angels in Heaven will sing their praises. This speech works.

Do not! Do not say, “I don’t know. The recipe didn’t say.” Your significant other will not believe you. Harsh words will ensue. Your beautiful relationship will dissolve and all you will have left are these wonderful potato skins; which might or might not be sufficient compensation for the loss of your sweetheart.

Oh, and if after the spat, you write an apology do not start with, “Dear Sweatheart.”)

Meanwhile, back at the kitchen. Brush vegetable oil all over the insides and outsides of the potatoes. Spoon garlic/green onion/cheese/sour cream mixture into the hollowed out potato halves. Use no-stick spray on a baking sheet. Put filled potatoes on the baking sheet. Place sheets in oven. Cook at 450 degrees for 8 minutes.

Remove filled potatoes from baking sheet. Place green-chile strip, its inside part face up on filled potato. Place bacon bits on top of that. Sprinkle lightly with remaining cheese.

Have an ice-cold root beer and serve potato skins to adoring guests. (Assuming you didn’t alienate them to the point of leaving over what to do with the scooped out potato pulp.)

TIDBITS

1) A survey by Maple Leaf FoodsTM found that 43% of people would rather have bacon than sex.

2) Why not have both? Instead of lighting up a cigarette afterwards, try frying up a pound of bacon.

3) I suspect far less than 43% would prefer raw bacon to raw sex.

4) The Chinese have been salting pork since 1,500 B.C., and look how many Chinese there are.

5) People from India don’t eat any bacon or any pork and yet there are over a billion of them.

6) Still, Chinese outnumber Indians by about 300 million. So if you want a hot and heavy night, treat your sweetheart to a bacon dinner.

7) Oh, chocolates, flowers, and champagne don’t hurt your chances either.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Misheard Prayer 2

Posted on April 30, 2023 by pauldelancey

Apparently God has a name and it’s given in the Lord’s Prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: misheard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loving Poem – Men’s Hairy Ears

Posted on March 8, 2023 by pauldelancey

Can’t hear you. My ears are hairy.

Now that I’m getting older
Hair will grow longer in my ears.
I’d rather not have it happen.
Does it help the cause of evolution?

Bread slices evolved o’er the years
To hold PB&J, roast beef,
And chili cheese dogs, too.
But why hair in men’s ears?

At least we now have an excuse.
Sorry, boss. Sorry, dears.
We can’t hear you ‘cuz
There’s hair in our ears.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mexican Green Onion Dip

Posted on February 7, 2023 by pauldelancey

Mexican Appetizer

MEXICAN GREEN-ONION DIP

INGREDIENTS

1 cup Crema Mexicana (Mexican sour cream)
¼ cup green onion
1½ tablespoons parsley
1 garlic clove
½ teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
½ cup Cotija cheese

PREPARATION

Mince green onion and garlic clove. Crumble Cotija cheese. Mix all ingredients in bowl. Serve as a dip or on baked potatoes.

Wow! Wow! Wow! Two lines of instruction. It doesn’t get much easier than this or tastier.

(The following three blank lines are reserved for tic-tac-toe games.)

 

 

TIDBITS

1) According to a GoogleTM search there are no fun facts about sour cream, only interesting ones.

2) Further investigation showed the information that was supposed to be listed here to be false. So, it was deleted.

3) That is why the following tidbit now makes no sense.

4) I’m guessing a year is way more than sufficient.

5) I told you above that tidbit 4) no longer makes sense. Did you listen?

6) Russians use sour cream in cold, salted potato fish soups.

7) Yum.

8) Not.

9) It is unlikely that there will ever be a movie about sour cream as there was about FacebookTM.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Berbere Spice Mix From Ethiopia

Posted on December 27, 2022 by pauldelancey

Ethiopian Appetizer

BERBERE SPICE MIX

INGREDIENTS

1 teaspoon whole clove
½ teaspoon allspice
½ tablespoon cardamom
½ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon coriander
1 teaspoon fenugreek
½ teaspoon ginger
½ teaspoon nutmeg
1 teaspoon onion salt
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon black pepper
3 teaspoons red pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon turmeric

Takes 5 minutes. Makes 5½ tablespoons.

PREPARATION

Grind whole clove. Mix spices together in bowl with fork. This recipes makes about a cup of Berbere spice mix.

TIDBITS

1) In Roman times, cinnamon cost about twelve times as much as silver.

2) Boy, the Romans must have loved their cinnamon on toast.

3) Texas Toast is a thicker type of toast.

4) It’s a good thing the Romans never conquered Texas and the rest of America because I would hate to blow the family budget on expensive cinnamon on Texas Toast every morning.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Simple Fig Bars

Posted on November 13, 2022 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

SIMPLE FIG BARS

INGREDIENTS

6½ tablespoons butter, softened
½ cup brown sugar
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup flour (2 tablespoons more later)
½ cup wheat flour
½ teaspoon baking powder
¼ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons flour
½ pound fig jam

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
14″ x 10″ cookie sheet
parchment paper

Makes 32 bars. Takes 2 hours 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add butter and brown sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on high until light and fluffy. Add egg and vanilla extract. Mix with electric beater set on high until light and fluffy.

Add 1 cup flour, wheat flour, baking powder, and salt to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Gradually add in flour mix from small mixing bowl to egg/sugar mix in large mixing bowl. Mix with electric beater set on high until light and fluffy. Use hands to form a round dough ball. Cover and place in refrigerator for 1 hour or until firm.

Dust 14″ x 10″ flat surface with 2 tablespoons flour. Add dough ball. Roll out dough ball until it’s ¼” thick. Cut dough along its length into 10″ x 3½” strips. Spread ¼ of the fig jam down the middle of a strip until it’s 1″ wide. Carefully fold both edges of the dough over the fig jam. Pinch seam together to complete fig/dough log. Repeat for each dough strip. Cut each log into 2 shorter mini-logs to make transferring them to the parchment paper easier.

Place parchment paper on cookie sheet. Use spatula to carefully place mini logs seam side down on parchment paper. Use fingers to smooth together any tears in the mini logs. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until mini logs turn golden brown and feel slightly firm. Cut each mini log into 4 fig bars. Let cool on cookie sheet for 15 minutes or until slightly warm. Store in airtight container.

TIDBITS

1) Be sure to mark your calendar for January 16. That’s International Hot and Spicy Food Day.

2) It’s also National Fig Newton Day.

3) So eat hot-and-spicy food and fig bars on that day (IHSFNFND).

4) You might not want to do anything else.

5) Indeed. The Super Bowl used to held in January, but the prospect of having their biggest game of the year fall on International Hot and Spicy Day AND National Fig Newton Day terrified National Football League Executives. They knew the NFL would lose the match up.

6) This is why recent Super Bowls have been held in February.

7) Baseball, for decades, held its World Series in October for the very same reason.

8) Now, World Series Games spillover into November.

9) November is still two months away from IHSFNFND.

10) But the end of the World Series is getting ever closer to that eventful culinary day, because of ever increasing rounds of post-season play.

11) The World Series might eventually coincide with IHSFNFND. If that happens, television executives will simply throw up their hands and stop broadcasting the Fall Classic. This is something even World War II could not do.

12) This must not happen. Contact your senator. Now.

13) It’s worth noting that fig bars’ existential challenge to professional sports in America derives from their many great attributes.

14) Fig bars are high in fiber. Football and baseball are not.

15) Fig bars have many vitamins. Football and baseball do not.

16) Fig bars have many minerals. Football and baseball do not.

17) Fig bars are a tasty snack. Football and baseball do not.

18) Fig bars help digestion. Football and baseball do not.

19) Indeed, footballs and baseballs are even difficult to eat.

20) Oh crudness, National Fig Week runs from November 1 to November 7. The same time as the World Series. Stock up on fig bars; we live in dark, troubling times.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loaded Nachos

Posted on October 3, 2022 by pauldelancey

Tex-Mex Appetizer

LOADED NACHOS

INGREDIENTS

1¼ pounds ground beef
½ teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 16-ounce* can refried beans
½ cup warm water
½ pound yellow tortilla chips
3 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar, Monterey Jack, four-Mexican cheeses, or combination)
3 green onions
1 avocado
1 jalapeno pepper
½ cup black olives, drained and chopped** (optional)
½ cup sour cream
1 cup salsa or pico de gallo

* = It might be hard to get exactly one pound. Manufacturers of canned are notorious for gradually shrinking the sizes of their products. It’s much easier for them to make money by shrinking sizes than by raising prizes. Boo.

** = Some people love black olives. Others hate it. Are our special forces forcing olives on prisoners to make them spill important information? It’s hard to say; no one’s talking.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

baking sheet
aluminum foil

Serves 12, 6 if served as an entree. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Preheat over to 350 degrees. Add ground beef, chili powder, cumin, and pepper to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Add ground beef to skillet. Cook for 5 minutes at medium heat or until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally. Drain grease. Add beans and water. Stir until well blended.

Line baking sheet with aluminum foil. Spread tortilla chips evenly over foil. Sprinkle tortilla chips with grated cheese. Top tortilla chips evenly with ground beef/bean mixture. Bake for 5 minutes at 350 degrees or until cheese melts and starts to brown. While nachos bake, dice green onions. Seed and dice avocado and jalapeno pepper. Remove sheet from oven. Top nachos evenly with sour cream, avocado, green onion, salsa, and jalapeno.

TIDBITS

1) Sometimes great inventions take place slowly. Here, progress occurs only after much brainstorming and experimentation. Such is the case of heavier-than-air flight. Your flight to see your Aunt Minnie most likely took place in a heavier-than-air jet. BoeingTM and AirbusTM have manufactured thousands of heavier-than air passenger planes.

2) Some inventions, like nachos, happen in a day.

3) Señor Ignacio Anaya opened up his restaurant, “Victory Club”, one fine morning in 1940, little dreaming that was destined for greatness and that he would change the trajectory of humanity forever.

4) A regular customer–We know her name! Her name was Mamie Finan, oh dear lady, blessed by fate!–came into his Anaya’s establishment. She had three female friends with her. This quartet had crossed the border from Eagle Pass, Texas to do some shopping in Piedras Negras, Coahuilla and had gotten quick peckish.

5) “Senor,” said Ms. Finan, “we’d like to try something different today. Would you be a dear and make us a totally new snack?”

6) The worthy restauranteur went to the kitchen. What to make? What to make? He saw freshly made tortillas. Then the culinary gods struck Anaya’s brow with cosmic inspiration. He fried those tortillas and cut them into triangles. He topped the triangles with shredded Colby cheese. He quickly heated the cheese-topped tortilla triangles. Anaya was on a roll. Adding sliced jalapeño pepper provided the crowning touch to his ground-breaking pièce de résistance.

7) Mamie Finan dubbed this culinary wonder, “Nacho’s Special.”

8) Why? Because Señor Anaya’s first name was Ignacio. The nickname for Ignacio in Mexico is Nacho. But the dish didn’t have be called ‘nachos.” It could have just as easily been named one of the following:

anayas – from the restaurateur’s last name
mamies – from Ms. Finan’s first name
finans – from her last name
victory clubs – from the name of the restaurant
piedro negrans – from the name of the town
coahuillans – from the name of the province
or evan
piedro negrans coahuillans

But I think we all agree that Nachos was the best choice.

10) Other dishes are named after people as well. Some of these culinary delights are:
Napoleons – named after the French emperor Napoleon.
beef Wellingon – named the English general who defeated Napoleon
franks – named after Frank. We don’t know he last name because he never routed any enemy army.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Japanse Tamagoyaki (Rolled Omelette)

Posted on September 30, 2022 by pauldelancey

Japanese Appetizer

TAMAGOYAKI
(Rolled Omelette)

INGREDIENTS

4 eggs
2½ teaspoons dashi (Japanese soup stock. You might have to make it using dashi powder.)
1¾ teaspoons mirin
½ tablespoon soy sauce
1 teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (½ tablespoon at a time)

SPECIAL UTENSILS

8″ square, non-stick skillet
measuring cup
bamboo mat (If you have one.)
sonic obliterator

Serves 2. Takes 20 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add eggs to 1st mixing bowl. Beat eggs with whisk or chopsticks. Add dashi, mirin, soy sauce, and sugar to 2nd mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add dashi/mirin mix from 2nd mixing bowl to eggs. Mix gently with whisk or chopsticks until well blended. Add egg/dashi mixture to measuring cup. (You will need to measure it out later in equal amounts.)

Add ½ tablespoon oil to skillet. Heat using medium heat until oil ripples. Ladle ¼th of egg/dashi mixture to skillet. Tilt skillet to make mixture form a thin layer. (Lift mixture, if necessary, to spread it evenly.) Heat egg mixture until sets on the bottom, but is still soft on top. Poke a hole in each large bubble as it forms.

Roll setting mixture, omelette, into log shape from one side of the skillet to the other with 3 or 4 flips from a spatula. Gently move omelette log back to the side where you started.

Add ½ tablespoon oil to pan. Tilt pan to ensure oil spreads evenly. Gently lift omelette log with spatula to get oil underneath it. (You will be making a 2nd coating to this egg log.) Ladle ¼th of egg/dashi mixture to skillet. Tilt skillet to make new layer of mixture spread evenly. Again, gently lift omelette log to get new layer of egg mixture underneath it. When new layer of egg/dashi starts to set, roll it up from the same starting side with 3 or 4 flips from a spatula. Repeat these steps one more time. Poke air bubbles as they happen.

Add completed omelette logs to bamboo mat or cutting board. Shape logs into a brick. Cut into 1″-wide slices. Serve to adoring guests. Use sonic obliterator on the others.

TIDBITS

1) Eggs are amazing! They are good for so many things. Their applications are

Bouncing eggs: This use is by far my favorite use after eating them. Simply put an egg in a glass. Cover it with vinegar. Change the vinegar after one day. You should find that after six more days that the egg shell will have dissolved. However, the egg will now have a pliable skin. This egg can be bounced. How cool is that? Egg handball, anyone?

Cleaning leather: Rub egg whites into dirty leather. Wipe with a damp cloth. The rubbed-in egg whites now provide a protective base for your leather.

Compost: Crushed eggs provide essential calcium to the soil being made.

Eating: They are great just by themselves, as in scrambled eggs. They are also essential to cakes, meatloafs, and omelettes, and this tasty entree, Tamagoyaki.

Family picnics: What family picnic would be complete without raw-egg tosses and racing with an egg in a teaspoon?

Family rated rioting: Throwing stones and shooting people to express grievances against the government and the economic system is dangerous. Make rabble rousing safe and fun for the entire family. Next time, vent your rage with eggs and scary faces only.

Gardening: Placed crushed eggshells around tender plant shoots. Slugs and other soft-skinned insects will shy away as the shell’s sharp edges hurt the plant-eating pests. Take that, plantacides.

Glue: Make glue with eggs. Make your own today. Earlier times found eggs indispensable for this process.

Hangovers: Eliminate your hangover by drinking a Prairie Oyster. Add raw egg, hot sauce, pepper, salt, TabascoTM, and Worcestershire sauce to a glass. Stir vigorously. Drink.

Healing burns: First, cool down the burn immediately, any way you can. However, if the burn still swells from blood rushing to the site, try using a newly hard-boiled egg. Remove the hot eggshell and rub it on your burn. This dissipates the blood causing the swelling. Back, back, blood, I say.

Metaphors: You have egg on your face. You can’t make an omelette without breaking an egg. This was quite the popular saying among revolutionaries some hundred years ago. The rate of revolutions dwindled after this adage passed from common speech. Coincidence? Perhaps.

Nineteenth century photography: The eggs made for precise photographs. So much so that commercial establishments kept chickens on site.

Painting eggs: Ukrainians and Poles have been particularly adept at painting eggs. It’s called pysanky. You need skill and patience to triumph at this, but my gosh, the results can be spectacular. And what else are you doing with your life?

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.