cuisine

Eggs Padang In Spicy Coconut Milk

Posted on July 5, 2021 by pauldelancey

Indonesian Entree

EGGS PADANG IN SPICY COCONUT MILK

 

INGREDIENTS – GARNISH

6 shallots (6 more later)
½ cup – vegetable oil (2 more tablespoons later)

INGREDIENTS – SPICE PASTE

1″ galangal root* or ginger root
1″ ginger root or 2 teaspoons ginger powder
½” turmeric root* or ½ teaspoon turmeric powder
6 shallots
5 Thai chiles (also known as bird’s eye chiles) or Fresno chiles
5 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon coconut milk (2 more cups later)

INGREDIENTS – REST

10 hard-boiled eggs
1 stalk lemongrass or 1 tablespoon lemon zest
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
4 kaffir lime leaves* or bay leaves, or 1 teaspoon lemon zest
2 cups coconut milk
1 tablespoon tamarind juice*, tamarind paste*, white wine, or rice vinegar

* = You can get these items at Asian or world supermarkets, or use the substitutes listed above.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

mandoline
spice grinder
food processor
wok or pan with tall sides
sonic obliterator (No modern kitchen should be without one)

Serves 4. Takes 2 hours 5 minutes.

PREPARATION – GARNISH

Peel shallots. Use mandoline or knife to thinly slice 6 shallots. Add shallot slices and ½ cup vegetable oil to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until shallot becomes crispy and turns golden brown. Remove crispy shallot from pan. Drain and reserve.

PREPARATION – SPICE PASTE

Use spice grinder to make paste of galangal root, ginger root, and turmeric root. Peel 6 shallots. Add all spice-paste ingredients to food processor. Blend until you get a paste.

PREPARATION – REST

Add enough water to cover 10 eggs to large pot. Bring water to boil using high heat. Carefully add eggs. Boil from 6 minutes (for soft-boiled eggs) to 12 minutes (for hard-boiled eggs.) Remove shells.

While eggs boil, remove white, hard part of lemongrass. Dice the green, inside part.. Add 2 tablespoons oil, diced lemongrass, and kaffir lime leaves to pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until the sautéed ingredients becomes fragrant. Stir frequently.

Add 2 cups coconut milk to wok. Bring to boil using medium heat. Stir frequently. Add spice paste and sautéed kaffir leaves and lemongrass. Cook for two minutes. Stir frequently. Carefully add eggs. Bring to boil again using medium heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 12 minutes or sauce. Stir enough to prevent burning. Add tamarind juice. Stir gently until well blended. Remove kaffir lime leaves. Garnish with crispy shallot slices. Use sonic obliterator to zap guests who complain your substituted ingredients or anything else. You don’t need their negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) It almost goes without saying that eggs are egg shaped. That’s because they are eggs. Elephants, however, are not egg shaped. Indonesia has both elephants and eggs. Indonesia has the Sumatran elephant. This elephant is the smallest Asian elephant. Indonesia also has small eggs.

2) So, we can conclude that the existence of eggs is a necessary requirement for elephants to live. It’s doubtful that elephants eat chicken eggs or any other egg type for that matter. So why do elephants only flourish around eggs? No consensus among the world’s culinary scientists. However, we can answer the age-old riddle, “Which came first, the elephant or the egg?”

3) It’s the egg.

4) Eggs are shaped like the bottom of bowling pins. Indeed eggs bowling was popular in Indonesia in May, 927. But its appeal waned rapidly as the egg pins always fell over and rolled into the gutters. Egg bowlers took to bowling one gutter ball after another. The easy success of knocking down an egg pin that was already down led to constant, lengthy disputes about scoring. Also striking an egg with a bowling ball inevitably shattered the egg. Indonesian bowling leagues used up eggs at a prodigious rate. Only the nation’s leaders could afford to eat eggs. This egg shortage made the common people restless. Indeed, egg anger rose to such a fever pitch, that the elite banned egg bowling. Serenity returned to Indonesia’s beautiful islands but, it had been a near run thing.

5) Then in 1299, Oswaldo Wooden came up with the happy idea of making bowling pins out of wood. The sport of bowling has thrived ever since.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tacos Al Pastor

Posted on July 1, 2021 by pauldelancey

Mexican Entree

TACOS AL PASTOR

INGREDIENTS – MARINADE

1 ancho chile
4 guajillo chiles
4 garlic cloves
3 cloves
1 small onion (1 more onion later)
1 large tomato
2 teaspoons cumin
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano or oregano
2 teaspoons paprika
1 teaspoon pepper
½ cup orange juice
⅔ cup pineapple juice*
2¼ pounds pork loin

INGREDIENTS – REST

1 can diced pineapple (*You can use the pineapple juice from the can)
1 cup fresh cilantro
1 small onion
5 limes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil (½ teaspoon at a time)
12 -to-24 corn tortillas*
1 cup pico de gallo
1 cup guacamole

* = If you like to put a lot of food in your tacos or if your tortillas are a bit on the crumbly side, then use 2 tortillas for each taco.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

food processor
6 metal skewers
drip pan

Serves 6. Takes 5 hours 30 minutes.

PREPARATION – MARINADE

Add ancho chile and guajillo chiles to pot. Cover with water. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to medium. Boil for 10 minutes or until chiles soften. Seed chiles. Add chiles and remaining marinade ingredients save pork loin to food processor. Blend until you get a smooth marinade. Add marinade and pork loin to large bowl. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

PREPARATION – REST

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cut pork loin into ½” thick slices. Cut slices into 1″ squares. Alternate threading pork squares and pineapple pieces onto skewers. Place on oven rack. Place oven pan underneath to collect drippings. Cook for 12 minutes or until pork is no longer pink inside. Turn every 4 minutes.

Dice cilantro and 1 small onion. Cut limes into 4 wedges each. Add 1 tortilla and ½ teaspoon oil to pan. Sauté at medium heat just long enough to warm tortilla. Flip tortilla once. Repeat for remaining tortillas.

Make tacos by filling tortillas with pork squares and pineapple pieces. Garnish tacos with cilantro, diced onion, and lime wedges. Serve tacos immediately alongside bowls of pico de gallo and guacamole.

TIDBITS

1) Pastor Alfonso Hernandez was a itinerant preacher who wandered the Pacific Coast from Seattle to Acapulco. He preached the word of God to whomever would listen. Sometimes he enthralled large crowds. Other times just one person would hear him out. His sermons brought peace beyond understanding to all his listeners.

2) Random acts of kindness would brake out after he left. These people felt grateful for the love he showed them. “Please take some money, your words moved me,” they’d say. He’d always reply, “I can take no money for those aren’t my words. I only borrow them.”

3) The good people would then say, “But you look hungry. Have some food.” The good man accepted their offerings, for he was indeed hungry. Sometimes his listeners gave him ancho chiles. Sometimes he received guajillos chiles. He even accepted garlic cloves. After preaching to an assembly of eight, they might even offer him onion, tomatoes, and cumin.

4) An even larger gathering might present him with Mexican oregano, paprika, pepper, and pepper to spice up his tomatoes. After getting all these spices, the holy man was especially grateful for orange juice to drink. The good people of Ensenada gave him pineapple juice and pork butt. Sometimes, the religious throngs gave him too much to consume at any one time. Whenever this occurred, he’d put the surplus in his coat of many pockets.

5) After ministering to the faithful at Acapulco, the many wealthy Catholics showered him with: diced pineapple, fresh cilantro, small onions, limes, vegetable oil (½ teaspoon at a time), corn tortillas, pico de gallo, and guacamole. This was, too much for any one man to eat. So he shared all the bounty he’d received that day. He then brought forth from all his pockets all the food and spices he’d been accumulating on his travels. “Why,” Pastor Al said, we have enough for a feast of tacos.”

6) “Gracias,” shouted the happy people, “for the tacos from Pastor Al’s coat!” Since the inhabitants of Acapulco were incurable anagramists, this wonderful culinary creation would soon be known forever as Tacos al Pastor.

7) Olé.

 

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Makawoni Au Graten (macaroni and cheese)

Posted on June 28, 2021 by pauldelancey

Haitian Entree

MAKAWONI AU GRATEN
(macaroni and cheese)

INGREDIENTS

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1 pound rigatoni or penne pasta
1 garlic clove
1 small onion
1 red bell pepper
3 tablespoons butter
1 12-ounce can evaporated milk
⅔ cup mayonnaise
1½ cups grated Parmesan cheese
1½ cup grated Edam or Gouda cheese
1 teaspoon seasoned salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ * 13″ casserole dish

Serves 8. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rigatoni according to instructions on package. Drain and set aside. Mince garlic clove, onion, and bell pepper. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Add garlic, onion, bell pepper and butter to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Add pasta and evaporated milk to pot with sautéed onion. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add mayonnaise, Parmesan cheese, Edam cheese, and seasoned salt. Mix with spoon until well blended. Ladle ingredients in pot into casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until top turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Albert Einstein, the great mind of the 20th century, theorized that time slows as you travel at speeds closer and closer to the speed of light. He also postulated that as you zip along at velocities near the speed of light, that things get heavier and heavier.

2) So if you were in a spaceship traveling closer to closer to light speed, the time required to make Makawoni au Graten would go from 1 hour 15 minutes to hours and hours or even years. The weight of your macaroni would gradually increase from perhaps four pounds to four tons.

3) Who would ever want to wait years to eat this entree? Who would want to eat four tons of it? Certainly no American astronaut. This is why NASA never serves Makawoni au Graten on its space missions. Not to worry, though, it’s perfectly safe to eat here down on Earth. Darn tasty, too.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Tahini Almond Cookies

Posted on June 25, 2021 by pauldelancey

Israeli Dessert

TAHINI ALMOND COOKIES

INGREDIENTS

⅔ cup butter
¾ cup sugar
⅔ cup almond meal or almond flour*
2 cups flour
1 cup tahini
⅛ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons water (perhaps a bit more)
2 tablespoons almond slivers

* = Found online or in ethnic or specialty supermarkets. Or simply grind blanched, slivered almonds until you get the consistency of almond meal or almond flour.

SPECIAL UTENSILS

electric beater
2 cookie sheets
parchment paper
food processor or spice grinder (If you can’t find almond meal.)

Makes 48 cookies. Takes 45 minutes to make plus 15 minutes to cool.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Add butter and sugar to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium. Add flour and almond meal. Blend with electric beater set on medium. Add tahini and vanilla extract. Add salt, vanilla extract, and water. Blend again until you a soft, thick dough. (Add a little water at a time if dough is crumbly.)

Form 48 dough balls about 1″ across. Flatten dough balls until they become ½” thick circles. Gently press 2 almonds into the top of each dough circle. Place parchment paper on each cookie sheet. Add 24 dough circles to each cookie sheet. Bake for 15 minutes at 325 degrees or until cookies turn golden brown. Cool completely before serving to prevent them from falling apart.

TIDBITS

1) Four-leaf clovers are lucky, but, they’re hard to find. So maximize your good fortune by doing the following instead: place a clover on a plate or use a plate with a clover design, point the clover to the right, and surround the clover with four tahini-almond cookies. Like in the above picture. Doing all this but with four leaves on your clover, will make you the luckiest person ever. Now you know.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., fashionisto

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cottage Pie

Posted on June 22, 2021 by pauldelancey

British Entree

COTTAGE PIE

INGREDIENTS – MASHED POTATOES

4 medium potatoes
⅔ cup milk
⅛ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt (½ teaspoon more later)
½ cup Cheddar cheese (¼ cup more later)

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

2 carrots*
1 garlic clove*
1 onion*
1 pound lean ground beef
2 tablespoons fresh parsley**
1 teaspoon fresh rosemary**
2 teaspoons fresh thyme**
2 tablespoons flour
1½ cups beef broth
½ teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon tomato paste
½ tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
½ teaspoon salt
¼ cup frozen peas*

INGREDIENT – FINAL

¼ cup Cheddar cheese

SPECIAL UTENSILS

potato masher
9″ round casserole dish
sonic obliterator (This gadget really is essential for the modern kitchen.)

Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes..

* = There is a fierce controversy over what veggies go into a cottage pie. You are one your own on this one. Carrots and peas are the most popular. You’ll probably want a sonic obliterator on hand in case one of your guests argues with you over your vegetable choice. It’s okay to zap them with your sonic obliterator. There is indeed a legal precedent for this. (See M. Soult v M. Oudinot, 1809) Just remember, a cottage pie uses beef while a shepherd’s pie uses lamb.

** = If you don’t have fresh herbs handy, use 1 teaspoon dried herbs for 1 tablespoon fresh herbs.

PREPARATION – MASHED POTATOES

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Peel and cut potatoes into 1″ cubes. Add potatoes and enough water to cover them to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes or until potato cubes are tender. Drain water. Add milk. Mash potato cubes with potato masher. Add pepper, ¼ teaspoon salt, and ½ cup cheese. Stir with fork until well blended.

PREPARATION – FILLING

While potatoes boil and simmer, dice carrots, garlic clove, and onion. Add carrot, garlic, onion, and beef to large pan. Cook at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Briefly remove from heat. Dice parsley, rosemary, and thyme. Add parsley, rosemary, thyme, and flour to pan.

Add beef broth, ½ teaspoon salt, tomato paste, and Worcestershire sauce to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add contents from mixing bowl to pan. Return pan to heat. Simmer at low-medium heat for 20 minutes or until most of the liquid has been absorbed. Stir frequently enough to prevent burning. Stir in peas.

PREPARATION – FINAL

Add filling to casserole dish. Smooth until level. Spread mashed potatoes evenly over filling. If you are adventurous, use fork to make swirly designs in the mashed potatoes. Sprinkle ¼ cup cheese over mashed potatoes.

Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes or until top turns golden brown. Serve to appreciative guests. Use sonic obliterator on the ungrateful ones.

TIDBITS

1) Cottage pie uses peas. Peas were likely eaten by Neanderthals 46,000 years ago.

2) Because peas help with: protein, blood-sugar management, digestion, your heart, and protects against cancer. But even so, the Neanderthals died out just 6,000 years later. Why?

3) We know that peas were eaten by modern humans, Cro Magnons 23,000 years ago. So apparently, they went 17,000 years without peas. Yet their branch of the human family tree prospered, Cro Magnon’s descendants walk among us today. I confess to being one of them.

4) Culinary anthropologists agree on the following explanation. From 40,000-to-23,000 thousand years ago, Neanderthals and Cro Magnons engaged in a life-and-death struggle. Both sides strove to gain control of the life-sustaining, wild-pea patches. Ultimately, the Cro Magnons prevailed. So, they lived. The pealess Neanderthals went extinct. Bummer.

5) The Romans ate peas. The built, by conquest, one of the greatest empires in history. The Saxons did not eat peas. The Normans did. This explains the Norman Conquest in 1066.

6) So when your parents told you to eat your peas, they knew what was at stake.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., fashionisto

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Jugo de Avena (Oats Milk Drink)

Posted on June 19, 2021 by pauldelancey

Dominican Breakfast

 

JUGO DE AVENA
(Oats Milk Drink)

INGREDIENTS

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4 cups milk or evaporated milk
1 cup oats
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
6 tablespoons lemon or lime juice
1½ cups ice cubes

SPECIAL UTENSILS

blender
pitcher

Makes 5 cups. Serves 5. Takes 30 minutes.

PREPARATION

Add milk and oats to blender. Blend at high speed for 5 minutes or until oats are quite tiny. Add cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla extract. Blend at medium speed until sugar dissolves completely. Chill in freezer for 20 minutes or until cold.

Remove bowl from freezer. Pour into pitcher. Add ice. Slowly add lemon juice while stirring continuously.

TIDBITS

1) Jugo de avena’s taste satisfies everyone. It also cools and refreshes.

2) A satisfied, cooled, and refreshed person is a calm and sedate person.

3) That’s why clever riot police hurl canisters of jugo de avena at the seething, surging mobs. One sip of jugo de avena makes even the most ardent protester happy. Serene protesters stop rioting. Good will abounds.

4) Other riot police hurl tear-gas canisters at the protesters. This angers the protesters more. The riot intensifies.

5) Why haven’t we heard of riots being quelled with jugo de avena? Because these disturbances stop so quickly that the press can never get there in time. Makes you think.

I have now blogged for 100 days in a row.  : )

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Deep Fried Cod From Iceland

Posted on June 9, 2021 by pauldelancey

Icelandic Entree

DEEP FRIED COD
(Djúpsteiktur þorskur)

INGREDIENTS

1½ pounds cod fillets
½ teaspoon baking powder
1⅓ cups flour
¼ teaspoon pepper
¼ teaspoon salt
1 cup beer
6 cups vegetable oil

SPECIAL UTENSIL

deep fryer

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Pat cod fillets dry with paper towels. Cut cod fillets into 8 total strips. Add baking powder, flour, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Add beer to bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Let sit for 30 minutes

Add oil to deep fryer. (It should cover the cod strips with at ½” to spare.) Heat oil to 375 degrees. (Oil is hot enough when a tiny bit of bread will turn golden brown quickly.)

Put cod strip into mixing bowl and turn until strip is thoroughly coated. Repeat for all strips. Add coated cod strips to deep fryer. Do not let strips touch each other. You might have to cook in batches. Deep fry coated cod strips for 4 minutes or until golden brown. Gently turn strips after 2 minutes. Use slotted spoon to gently remove fried strips. Place strips on plate covered with paper towel to drain excess oil. Goes well with French fries.

TIDBITS

1) Cod are deeply protective of their young. This level of care for their offspring extends even after being caught, filleted, and deep fried. You can see in the above picture how the big pieces have assumed a defensive posture around the little one. You have to go through the big cod bits before you can get to the little deep fry. This gives the small one time to slip off your plate and roll away.

2) Of course, this interests the U.S. Navy very much. It’s submarines costs billions and billions and are essential to America’s defense. Ongoing trials investigate imprinting adult cod with the idea that our naval subs are really young cod and so, worthy of their protection.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Banitsa (Cheese Pie)

Posted on June 5, 2021 by pauldelancey

Bulgarian Entree

BANITSA
(Cheese Pie)

INGREDIENTS

¼ teaspoon baking soda
2 eggs
¼ cup vegetable oil
½ cup whole milk yogurt
½ pound Bulgarian white cheese, sirene, or feta
no-stick spray
½ pound phyllo sheets
1 tablespoon butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″-pie pan

Serves 4. Takes 1 hour.

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add baking soda, eggs, cup vegetable oil, and yogurt to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Crumble white cheese into bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Spray pie pan with no-stick spray.

Gently unroll phyllo dough. Drizzle 2 tablespoons yogurt/feta mixture onto phyllo sheet. Gently smooth mixture over entire phyllo sheet. Gently roll up the covered sheet into a log. Repeat for each phyllo sheet.

Place a phyllo log seam-side down along edge of pan. Gently shape phyllo log into a spiral. Place end of next phyllo log at the end of first log. Shape this phyllo log so as to continue to spiral started by the first one. Repeat until pie pan is completely filled with phyllo logs. Bake at 350 degrees for 40 minutes or until pie turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) In 1946, Bulgaria came under the control of the Soviet Union. Culinary historians note that Russia pretended to let Bulgaria rule through a council known as the Karfeni Glavi. This, of course, translates to “Potato Heads.” So, you can see how little the average Bulgarian though of the council. But by the late 1980s the Soviet Union was teetering on collapse. A few Potato Heads, sensing independence, while not yet ready to challenge Russia directly, started abstaining. But not many. Few wanted to stick his neck out. Then in 1989, Potato Head Iliev, noted Bulgaria’s national dish “Banista” was, in English, an anagram for “abstain.” He’d bring banitsa every time he abstained saying, “I’m hungry.” He’d let his fellow Potato Heads in on his secret. Soon, all the Heads were bringing banitsa and abstaining. Russian rule collapsed in the face of such a united opposition. Yay.

 

Paul De Lancey, Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Fried Cheese

Posted on June 2, 2021 by pauldelancey

Czech Appetizer

FRIED CHEESE
(Smažený Sýr)

INGREDIENTS

1 pound Edam cheese or Gouda
2 eggs
1½ tablespoons milk
⅛ teaspoon salt
⅔ cup flour
1 cup breadcrumbs
4 cups olive or vegetable oil (Enough to cover fried cheeses)

Serves 4. Takes 30 minutes.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Frying pan large enough to cook four cheese squares. I know a large frying pan is not normally considered a special utensil. But it really helps makes fried cheese look nicer when you can cook them all at once. Bits of breadcrumbs can blacken succeeding batches.

PREPARATION

Cut cheese into 4 slices ½” thick.. Add eggs, milk, and salt to mixing bowl. Beat with whisk or fork until well blended. Add flour to 1st plate. Add breadcrumbs to 2nd plate.

Heat oil using medium heat. Oil is hot enough when a breadcrumb dropped in will start to dance. Dredge cheese slices through flour until completely coated. Dredge cheese slices through eggs until completely coated. Dredges cheese slice through breadcrumbs until completely coated.

Gently place coated cheese slices in oil. (Carefully, the hot oil might splatter.) Fry using medium heat for 2 minutes on each side or until it turns golden brown. Remove immediately and pat dry with paper towels. Goes well with tartar sauce as a dipping sauce or with French fries.

TIDBITS

1) The human race abounds with geniuses. Some of them make medical breakthroughs. Others invent devices that make space exploration and planetary excursions ever easier. Then there are the culinary geniuses that find news foods to deep fry.

2) The following is a partial list of foods deep fried by these visionaries: bacon slathered with mayonnaise, bubble gum, butter, Cadbury Cream Egg(tm), cookie dough, corn on the cob, flowers, gravy, guacamole, jelly beans, Mars(tm) bars, Nutella(tm), salsa, sauerkraut, watermelon, and White Castle(tm) burgers. My pick for the most innovative deep-fried dish is the tarantula. It does exist, really.

 

Paul De Lancey, Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Half an Egg

Posted on May 30, 2021 by pauldelancey

Many, many recipes are for too many people. What do you do in these cases? For example, if your recipe serves four and you’re cooking  for two people, you’ll need to cut the amount of each ingredient in half. If the recipes calls for two tomatoes, use just one. But what do you do if the recipe asks for three eggs? Half of 3 eggs is one and a half eggs.

How do you get a half an egg?

It would be nice if your local supermarket sold half eggs. This remains unlikely to happen as these food stores don’t even let you buy purchase individual eggs. Back in my youth, we had a woman who raised her own chickens in her backyard. She would let us buy any number of eggs. Then the town shut her down.  However, even she didn’t sell half eggs. Her hens just never produced eggs half the size of normal ones. Whether they were unmotivated, conservative, or just plain unable to lay tiny eggs, we’ll never know.

Perhaps half-sized chickens could produce half-sized eggs.

Perhaps a laser beam followed immediately by a thin blast of air, the temperature of absolute zero, could produce an egg that is not only cut in half but also keeps the yolk and the white inside. Future research is indicated. However, I doubt that this idea, however successfully concluded, would prove commercially viable. I’m guessing that such a half egg would cost a million dollars. Most consumers would balk at such a price.

No, I’m afraid that the making of a half an egg falls squarely on our shoulders. Crack an egg open into a small dish. Scoop out half a yolk the best you can with a spoon. Do the same with the egg white. Now you have your half an egg. You can proceed confidently with the newly reduced recipe. The above photo shows a fried half an egg.

Bon appétit.

 

Paul De Lancey, Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

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