Angry Man #14
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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Wanda Wunder #27
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1 cup rice
1 medium carrot
3 garlic cloves
2 green chiles
1 leek
1 medium onion
1½ tablespoons olive oil
7 curry leaves or kaffir leaves or bay leaves
½ teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon minced ginger
¼ cup vegetable broth or water
2 eggs
Serves 4. Takes 50 minutes.
PREPARATION
Cook rice according to instructions on package. Grate carrot. Dice garlic cloves. Seed and dice green chiles. Cut leek into 1″ squares. Mince onion.
While rice cooks, add olive oil, cumin, curry leaves, garlic, ginger, green chiles, and onion. to large pan. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium-high heat or until onion softens. Add vegetable broth, carrot, and leek. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir enough to prevent burning.
While vegetables simmer, scramble eggs. Add eggs and rice to pan. Simmer on low for 2 minutes. Stir frequently. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended.
TIDBITS
1) Fred Rice is an uncommon name in China, perhaps even extraordinarily so back in 1046 BC. Up to 1047 BC, the Chinese boiled their rice. But on April 2, 1046 BC, Chef Rice and his sous chef, Carl La Fong, dazzled the culinary world by serving fried rice to the patrons of Chăfàn. The diners loved the culinary creation. They came back night after night for their fried rice fix.
2) Disaster struck only two weeks later when the Shang Dynasty’s dreaded culinary police shut down Chăfàn. They said, “You may only serve food the way our ancestors made. Who made this?.” The head chef said, “I, Fred Rice.” A dyslexic court recorder combined this response to “Fried Rice.” The name stuck.
3) Anyway, irate Chefs Fred and Carl decided to feed the Zhou clan that would overthrow the Shangs. So, don’t tick off chefs. No, not ever.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Some time ago printers achieved consciousness and took a deep and abiding dislike of us. Worse still are the designers who enhance the printers’ ability to jam and stop printing when the cycan cartridges empty. Even if you don’t need cyan. All this has made Husky angry.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
I’ve always thought what Wanda’s wondering about.
Wanda Wunder #26
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
3 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
1¼ pounds chicken breasts*
1 large carrot
½” galangal root
¼ head red or Chinese cabbage
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro
½ tablespoon fresh mint
12 ounces rice vermicelli noodles
3 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon lemongrass paste**
1 red chile
2 tablespoons red curry paste**
1 shallot
½ tablespoon sesame or vegetable oil
1 14-ounce can coconut milk
2 tablespoons fish sauce
¼ pound bean sprouts
6 kaffir leaves
½ teaspoon salt
* = Can be made with ground pork or cooked fish fillet. If using these choices, add them to pot after you add the coconut milk.
** = Can be found in Asian supermarkets or online.
SPECIAL UTENSIL
food processor
Serves 6. Takes 1 hour 10 minutes.
PREPARATION
Add chicken to large pot. Add chicken broth and water. Bring to boil using high heat. Lower heat to medium. Simmer for 20 minutes or until chicken breasts can be pulled apart with 2 forks. Stir enough to prevent burning, Remove chicken breasts to large bowl. (Keep liquid in pot.) Shred chicken with forks.
Grate carrot and galangal root. Shred red cabbage. Dice cilantro and mint. Cook rice vermicelli noodles according to instructions on package. Drain, fluff, and set aside.
While rice vermicelli cooks, add garlic, lemongrass, red chile, red curry paste, and shallot to food processor. Grind until you get a uniform paste. Add vegetable oil to pan. Heat oil at medium-high heat. Oil is hot enough when a bit of uniform paste will start to dance. Add uniform paste to pan. Heat for 3 minutes or until it turns dark red. Stir constantly. Add coconut milk and fish sauce. Bring to boil. Add shredded chicken, bean sprouts, carrot, galangal root, kaffir leaves, red cabbage, salt, and uniform paste to pot. Simmer soup at low-medium heat for 10 minutes.
Add cooked rice vermicelli to serving bowls. Ladle soup over rice vermicelli. Garnish with cilantro and mint.
TIDBITS
1) The name of this dish sounds a lot like “Ka Boom.” This is not accident.
2) In 1352, Laos was divided and weak.
3) Neighboring countries took turns invading and annexing parts of Laos. Indeed, the rulers of Siam, and what is now Vietnam and Cambodia sometimes invaded simultaneously.
4) This created confusion on the battlefield. When Siamese, Vietnamese, and Laotian armies met, they didn’t know whom to fight. And no one likes a chaotic clash of arms.
5) So, Laos’ neighbors signed the Treaty of Bangkok. Each of the abutting lands was assigned four months each year for invasion.
6) This made life better for attacking countries.
7) Not so much for the the Laotians who still got overrun.
8) This, almost needless to say, depressed the Laotians who survived these vicious incursions.
9) Then, in 1353, Carl La Fong, a humble chef, invented the pressure cooker.
10) La Fong’s pressure cooker drastically reduced the time needed to prepare the thousands of Khao Poon servings he needed for his daily guests.
11) Unfortunately, Carl’s pressure cooker didn’t possess all the safety features of the invention’s modern version. Indeed, the darned thing proved quite prone to exploding an entire restaurant.
12) It was after he lost his fourth restaurant that the synapses finally fired in La Fong’s brain. “Why,” he said, “my exploding pressure cooker could annihilate entire armies. Khao poon! Or Ka boom, in English.”
13) In 1354, the plucky La Fong presented his device to King Fa Ngum. Ngum routed army after invading army with his pressure-cooker battalions.
14) Then in 1893, the French invaded Laos. Alas, the baguette eaters employed artillery which far out ranged the Laotian khao poons. The French soon won. Whereupon they settled down to eating Khao Poon every day. That and baguettes, they were French after all.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Yoga Instructor #4
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
We all watch live streaming or DVDs. Many of these, thank you, provide subtitles. However, I take issue with the choice of “English for the deaf or hard of hearing.” I am certainly not deaf. Even though I do need to see the occasional word spelled out, I’m not quite at the stage where I should called hard of hearing. And many times I don’t understand the accent, particulary British.
Why do we have to make judgments about people? Perhaps making them feel bad? Why not simply have “English” as a choice for subtitles?
Or even tailor the choices to me, Paul. See below.
The one on the right would make me feel special. Of course, it doesn’t have to be my name listed on the right. You should be alter the phrase to reflect your name, “English for Desdemona,” for example.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
INGREDIENTS
1¼ pounds ground beef
½ teaspoon chili powder
½ teaspoon cumin
¼ teaspoon pepper
1 16-ounce* can refried beans
½ cup warm water
½ pound yellow tortilla chips
3 cups shredded cheese (Cheddar, Monterey Jack, four-Mexican cheeses, or combination)
3 green onions
1 avocado
1 jalapeno pepper
½ cup black olives, drained and chopped** (optional)
½ cup sour cream
1 cup salsa or pico de gallo
* = It might be hard to get exactly one pound. Manufacturers of canned are notorious for gradually shrinking the sizes of their products. It’s much easier for them to make money by shrinking sizes than by raising prizes. Boo.
** = Some people love black olives. Others hate it. Are our special forces forcing olives on prisoners to make them spill important information? It’s hard to say; no one’s talking.
SPECIAL UTENSILS
baking sheet
aluminum foil
Serves 12, 6 if served as an entree. Takes 40 minutes.
PREPARATION
Preheat over to 350 degrees. Add ground beef, chili powder, cumin, and pepper to mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Add ground beef to skillet. Cook for 5 minutes at medium heat or until meat is no longer pink. Stir occasionally. Drain grease. Add beans and water. Stir until well blended.
Line baking sheet with aluminum foil. Spread tortilla chips evenly over foil. Sprinkle tortilla chips with grated cheese. Top tortilla chips evenly with ground beef/bean mixture. Bake for 5 minutes at 350 degrees or until cheese melts and starts to brown. While nachos bake, dice green onions. Seed and dice avocado and jalapeno pepper. Remove sheet from oven. Top nachos evenly with sour cream, avocado, green onion, salsa, and jalapeno.
TIDBITS
1) Sometimes great inventions take place slowly. Here, progress occurs only after much brainstorming and experimentation. Such is the case of heavier-than-air flight. Your flight to see your Aunt Minnie most likely took place in a heavier-than-air jet. BoeingTM and AirbusTM have manufactured thousands of heavier-than air passenger planes.
2) Some inventions, like nachos, happen in a day.
3) Señor Ignacio Anaya opened up his restaurant, “Victory Club”, one fine morning in 1940, little dreaming that was destined for greatness and that he would change the trajectory of humanity forever.
4) A regular customer–We know her name! Her name was Mamie Finan, oh dear lady, blessed by fate!–came into his Anaya’s establishment. She had three female friends with her. This quartet had crossed the border from Eagle Pass, Texas to do some shopping in Piedras Negras, Coahuilla and had gotten quick peckish.
5) “Senor,” said Ms. Finan, “we’d like to try something different today. Would you be a dear and make us a totally new snack?”
6) The worthy restauranteur went to the kitchen. What to make? What to make? He saw freshly made tortillas. Then the culinary gods struck Anaya’s brow with cosmic inspiration. He fried those tortillas and cut them into triangles. He topped the triangles with shredded Colby cheese. He quickly heated the cheese-topped tortilla triangles. Anaya was on a roll. Adding sliced jalapeño pepper provided the crowning touch to his ground-breaking pièce de résistance.
7) Mamie Finan dubbed this culinary wonder, “Nacho’s Special.”
8) Why? Because Señor Anaya’s first name was Ignacio. The nickname for Ignacio in Mexico is Nacho. But the dish didn’t have be called ‘nachos.” It could have just as easily been named one of the following:
anayas – from the restaurateur’s last name
mamies – from Ms. Finan’s first name
finans – from her last name
victory clubs – from the name of the restaurant
piedro negrans – from the name of the town
coahuillans – from the name of the province
or evan
piedro negrans coahuillans
But I think we all agree that Nachos was the best choice.
10) Other dishes are named after people as well. Some of these culinary delights are:
Napoleons – named after the French emperor Napoleon.
beef Wellingon – named the English general who defeated Napoleon
franks – named after Frank. We don’t know he last name because he never routed any enemy army.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Part of my kitchen
1) The derivation of the term “spam” for torrents of unsolicited e-mail and posts comes from a Monty Python skit where a diner serves SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, and more SPAM.
2) While tidbit 1) advanced the cause of literature and the arts, the following tidbits will extol SPAM’s contribution to culinary history.
3) SPAM was first canned in 1937. It’s jingle was: “SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, Hormel’s new miracle meat in a can. Saves time, tastes fine, to eat something grand as for SPAM.”
4) SPAM featured in soldiers’ meal during World War II as it is a good source of protein and is easy to eat. Famous people have spoken out about Spam.
“Without SPAM we wouldn’t have been able to feed our army.”
– Russian President Nikita Kruschev
“SPAM was a war-time delicacy.”
– Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher
“I ate my share of SPAM along with millions of other soldiers, I’ll even confess to a few unkind words about it – uttered during the strain of battle you understand. But as the former commander-in-chief of the allied forces, I believe I can still officially forgive you for your only sin: sending us so much of it.”
– President Dwight D. Eisenhower.
5) The SPAM Museum is Austin, Minnesota, “SPAM Town, USA.” Admission is free. Number One Son and I have been there. The poster picture on this blog is from the gift shop.
6) Restaurants in Austin, Minnesota serve SPAM. Sometimes it’s on the menu. Sometimes you just have to ask.
7) In 1989,Americans purchased 1,750 tons of SPAM. Purchases for other years is apparently a secret.
8) Hawaii has the largest per capita consumption of SPAM in the world. These islanders acquired their love for SPAM during World War II when millions of soldiers, marines, and seamen stationed there were fed vast amounts of SPAM.
9) There is an annual SPAM Jam block party in Waikiki. McDonald’s restaurants in Hawaii include SPAM, eggs, and rice on its breakfast menu.
10) Koreans love SPAM. Who knew? Okay, smarty pants, besides Koreans.
11) Many Koreans went hungry during and just after the Korean War. Thousands and thousands averted starvation only by getting food from nearby American army bases. The most prevalent gift from the GIs were cans of SPAM. People there are still grateful for this food and SPAM has been adopted into Korean cuisine.
12) I’ve heard that SPAM is popular in the Philippines as well because of the SPAM American soldiers brought with them in 1944 to 1946. My father was stationed in the Philippines after the War as part of America’s SPAM diplomacy.
13) South Korea is a firm ally of America and a strong trading partner. North Korea, however, threatens us with nuclear attack. Why? Because America never got a chance to get its SPAM bearing armies into that land. SPAM brings peace and amity everywhere. Wonderful SPAM, glorious SPAM.
14) Some years ago, I was asked to participate in the International Bento Contest. SPAM was part of my recipe.
Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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