Posts Tagged With: thriller

Another Word Added to Paul’s Awesome Dictionary

Gruntjectives: n: (Pronunciation, just like it looks) Adjectives that get so overused that they lose all meaning. The speaker might as well grunt instead. – Paul’s Awesome Dictionary

Today’s Gruntjective Story:

“I just completed a chat with a tech support person. When they asked for the verification number they’d sent to confirm I’m me, apparently I responded exceptionally well. They responded: ‘Awesome’.”

– the great author Judy Reeves on Facebook(tm)

I commented:

“Maybe the support gets filled with awe whenever she hears an identification number. We should all endeavor to be like her. ‘Look, a glass!’ Be filled with awe. ‘Look, it’s full of water.’ Be filled with more awe. See, how happy you could become.”

My comments made it into this little blog. I’ve learned not to waste moments when my synapses fire.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: wise words | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Loving Poem – Men’s Hairy Ears

Can’t hear you. My ears are hairy.

Now that I’m getting older
Hair will grow longer in my ears.
I’d rather not have it happen.
Does it help the cause of evolution?

Bread slices evolved o’er the years
To hold PB&J, roast beef,
And chili cheese dogs, too.
But why hair in men’s ears?

At least we now have an excuse.
Sorry, boss. Sorry, dears.
We can’t hear you ‘cuz
There’s hair in our ears.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I am Holding the Planet Jupiter For Ransom

That’s right,

I mean business.

Early this morning, I turned my Miniturizo Ray(tm) on Jupiter. The planet is now only four inches across, easy peasy for my PlanetoPull Ray(tm).

So, the entire planet Jupiter is now sitting comfortably in a little bowl on a table in my office.

And there it’s going to stay until I’m paid one trillion-and-five dollars.*
*The extra five dollars is just a negotiating play. That way the ransom payers can say they bargained me down and feel good about themselves.

Anyway, if you want to ever again see Jupiter in the night sky, you’d better come up with the cash, Nash.

The left-below picture shows Jupiter in my office. The right-below picture shows a NASA photo. Proof you cannot deny.

You don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get paid. I might draw a big butt on Jupiter. Or maybe I’ll just keep the planet as a paperweight.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Secrets of the Universe | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Marked Safe From Missing Ingredients

The struggle is real. I recently had to go back to the store, horrors, for pomegranate syrup.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Marked Safe From | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Olé Baked Potatoes

Mexican Entree

OLÉ BAKED POTATOES

INGREDIENTS

6 medium brown potatoes
14 ounces diced green chiles
2 medium white onions
3 cups grated Four Mexican cheeses
3 tablespoons butter

PREPARATION – POTATOES

Gently scrub the potatoes to remove dirt. Cut out the potatoes’ eyes. This is not an act of barbarity. The eyes are those little rooty things that grow out of the potato when you leave them in the potato bin for too long.

You might want to stab each potato a few times. (Okay, let out your aggression here.) This prevents steam from building up to the point your potato explodes. Boom!

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Put the potatoes in the oven and bake for about 50 minutes. (You do need to plan ahead. Watch two episodes of Man Versus Food while waiting.) Jab a fork into the taters. The fork should slide in easily. This step is essential. Baking with multiple potatoes or multiples of any food can increase the baking time. Also the sizes of the potatoes vary with each baking. And who knows if the temperature of the dial on your oven is accurate? My experience is that most real oven temperatures are less than what the oven’s gauges would have you believe.

Oh, don’t forget to remove those potatoes when done.

PREPARATION -SAUCE

While the potatoes bake, melt the butter. Mince onions in your food processor. Mince onions by hand and you’ll cry. Pour the minced onion and the diced green chiles into the butter. Cook on medium high, stirring constantly. Periodically taste, it’s your kitchen, and stop when you’re satisfied or as soon as the onion changes color. Add in the grated cheese and stir until it melts.

Cut the potatoes open and cover both sides with the sauce. Note, both this sauce and baked potatoes taste much better hot than cold.

Although time consuming, this dish is easy to make and tastes great. When serving this dish to guests, stress the time this dish took and omit the ease of making it.

TIDBITS

1) People from Wisconsin are often called “cheeseheads.”

2) There are about 2,000 varieties of cheese. Cheese will grow moldy. Clean your refrigerator periodically. Cheese can be made from camel’s milk. Never tried it.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ode to Procastination

 

Mañana.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: poems | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I Did Walk 500 Miles

On no. I didn’t have to walk here.

I did walk 500 miles.
and I did walk 500 miles back.
Just to learn the home
Of the girl was next door.
GPS was out of wack.
She was gone when I got back.
Wouldn’t wait no more.
I’m sad. My feet are sore.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: poems, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Carl La Fong’s Cooking Mishap #1, Quesadilla

The sticker says, “Two tortillas.”

I like to cook. So does my friend, Carl La Fong*. Although a really good cook, Carl occasionally makes mistakes. Sometimes they’re doozies. In the spirit of helping fledgling chefs, he’s agreed to share his mistakes.

Carl started off well. He sprayed the top and bottom of the quesadilla maker**. He put a flour tortilla on the bottom of the grill. He topped the tortilla with avocado salsa, diced chiles, and a generous amount of grated Mexican cheeses. He closed the lid. The quesadilla maker started cooking.

“You know,” Carl said, “in retrospect, I should have placed a second flour tortilla on top of the fixings. The modern mind cannot comprehend the mess made by leaving that ingredient out. Fortunately, I worked quickly and cleaned the quesadilla maker is just a scant hour. In my defense, I was pondering the clauses in the 1648 Treaty of Westphalia. It can happen to anyone.”

Carl says, “Hi” and invites you to share your friends’ cooking mishaps. He als

* =No, Carl La Fong is not my alter ego. Why do you ask?
** = Doesn’t the quesadilla maker look like a space alien?

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Sole Meuniere

French Entree

SOLE MEUNIERE

INGREDIENTS

¼ cup butter
1 lemon
2 tablespoons fresh parsley
4 4-ounce sole fillets
½ cup flour
¼ teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon white pepper or pepper
2½ tablespoons clarified butter or ghee or butter
1½ tablespoons lemon juice

Serves 2. Takes 25 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cut butter into 4 pats. Cut lemon into 4 slices. Dice parsley.

Use paper towels to pat sole fillets dry. Add flour, salt, and white pepper to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whisk until well blended. Dredge fillets through flour. Shake off excess.

Add clarified butter to large pan. Heat using medium heat until a small bit of flour in the clarified butter will start to dance or until clarified butter starts to bubble. Add sole fillets. Sauté for 3 minutes Carefully flip fillets with fish spatula or long spatula. Sauté for another 3 minutes or until sole fillets turn golden and the fish can be flaked with a fork.

While 2nd sides of the fillets sauté, add butter pats to 2nd pan. Melt butter using medium heat until butter bubbles. Add lemon juice. Combine by swirling pan. Spoon butter/lemon juice over sole fillets. Garnish with parsley. Serve immediately.

TIDBITS

1) “O Sole Mio” is an excellent Neapolitan song written by Giovanni Capurro. It means “My Sun.”

2) “O Sole Meuniere” is an excellent-mostly song written by the Powegian Paul R. De Lancey.

3) Here are a few verses:

What a beautiful thing is fried Dove sole!
The air in the kitchen smells so nice
As long as fan above the stove is set to high
Don’t forget to use clarified butter
The guests will appreciate your efforts!

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I Read This Sign Differently

 

Most people’s initial reaction to the sign below would be that a man named Rip Fritzer wants you to contact him about selling his home. He tells you that you should call him because he has sold 3,000 homes.

I, however, read it as an obituary notice. I saw RIP not as Mr. Fritzer’s first name. Instead, I initially interpreted RIP as  Rest In Peace. His realtor colleagues gave him the highest praise they could think of. I admit, it did seem strange to pick a bus stop bench as the best place to honor a colleague’s life. And why the phone number?

What would have been your first thought?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: I Do Not Think It Means | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

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