I mean business.
Early this morning, I turned my Miniturizo Ray(tm) on Jupiter. The planet is now only four inches across, easy peasy for my PlanetoPull Ray(tm).
So, the entire planet Jupiter is now sitting comfortably in a little bowl on a table in my office.
And there it’s going to stay until I’m paid one trillion-and-five dollars.*
*The extra five dollars is just a negotiating play. That way the ransom payers can say they bargained me down and feel good about themselves.
Anyway, if you want to ever again see Jupiter in the night sky, you’d better come up with the cash, Nash.
The left-below picture shows Jupiter in my office. The right-below picture shows a NASA photo. Proof you cannot deny.
You don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t get paid. I might draw a big butt on Jupiter. Or maybe I’ll just keep the planet as a paperweight.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.