Posts Tagged With: pasta

Pappardelle with Wild Boar Sauce

Italian Entree

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PAPPARDELLE WITH WILD BOAR* SAUCE

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INGREDIENTS – MARINADE­
2 pounds wild boar* or pork shoulder, slow reared pork, lamb, venison, or duck
1 carrot
1 stalk celery (1 stalk more later)
3 garlic cloves (2 more cloves later)
1 small onion (1 large onion later)
3 bay leaves
1 tablespoon juniper berries
½ teaspoon pepper
2 teaspoons peppercorns
1 teaspoon rosemary
1 teaspoon sage
3½ cups red wine (1⅓ cups more later)
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* = Wild boar can be quite difficult to find nearby. It is also expensive online and you might be required more than you need. But if you can find it in your price range, please go for it.
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INGREDIENTS – SAUCE
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1 carrot
1 stalk celery
2 garlic cloves
1 medium onion
3 tablespoons olive oil
2 bay leaves
1⅓ cups red wine
¾ teaspoon salt
1¾ pounds (28 ounces) peeled tomatoes
1 pound pappardelle pasta
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SPECIAL UTENSIL
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sonic obliterator
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Serves 4. Takes 18 hours to marinate and 2 hours 45 minutes to cook.
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PREPARATION  – MARINADE
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Cut wild boar into ½” cubes.  Dice 1 carrot, 1 stalk celery, 3 garlic cloves, and 1 small onion. Add to all marinade ingredients to 1st large mixing bowl Mix with large spoon until well blended and boar cubes are well coated. Cover and let sit in refrigerator for at least 12 hours or 18 hours, if possible. Remove wild-boar cubes and set aside. Discard the marinade.
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PREPARATION – SAUCE
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When the time for marinating is 30 minutes from being done, dice 1 carrot, 1 stalk celery, 2 garlic cloves, and 1 medium onion. Add olive oil carrot, celery, garlic, and small-onion bits to large pot. Sauté for 2 minutes at medium heat. Stir frequently. Add wild boar. Sauté for 5 minutes at medium heat or until all sides are browned. Stir frequently. Increase heat to medium-high. Add 2 bay leaves, 1⅓ cups red wine, and salt. Cook for 10 minutes until the alcohol from the wine evaporates or until the amount of liquid reduces by half. Stir enough to prevent burning. Reduce heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes. Stir enough to keep from burning.
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Add peeled tomatoes. Mix with spoon until well blended. Cover and simmer for 1 hour 30 minutes. Stir enough to keep sauce from burning. Add water as needed if sauce starts to disappear.
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When sauce is 15 minutes from being done, cook pappardelle pasta according to instructions on package. Drain pasta. Add pasta to pot. Mix with large fork until well blended. Zap unappreciative guests with sonic obliterator. You don’t need that negativity in your kitchen.
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TIDBITS
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1) Extroverts love parties. Introverts abhor them. They’d rather visit a dentist than go to them.
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2) Introverts avoid all types of people. Extroverts evade boring people.
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3) So extroverts and introverts have something in common! Let the great rapprochement begin.
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4) How?
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5) Have the social people hire the party shirkers as bouncers. The introvert bouncers will snatch bores and toss them into the hall; never out the window, that’s wrong.
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6) Anyway, the removal of the bores ensures a lively, party filled with bon mots and sparkling wit.
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7) In return the partyphobes get paid well and get a separate room equipped with a buffet and quiet dogs and cats to pet.
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8) Party-hating bouncers belong to the Fraternal* Order of Introvert Bouncers (FOIB).
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9) How do party hosts hire the FOIBs? After all, tossing guests into the hall could very well be illegal. (It certainly is if your bouncers throw the bores out the window. Again, I say don’t do this; the law takes a rather stern view about manslaughter and grievous bodily harm.)
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10) Sorry. Anyway, bore-hating hosts follow the following script when calling FOIB.
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Bore-hating host:: Hi. We’d like to hire three bouncers for our little soirée tonight. We’re serving Pappardelle with Wild “Boar” Sauce.
FOIB: Certainly, will “guests” leave by the window or by the door?
Bore-hating host: No, no, no window. The door will be fine.
Note: In jobs like this one, the ability the speak in quotes is a great, legal plus.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, life tips | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Start for Possible New Novel

HARALD THE AXE MURDERER
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Harald, the axe murderer, harbored a dark secret. No, it wasn’t that he was an introvert, although he did find the world a little peoply. However Harald, being a rather focused and proactive sort did all he could to bring that annoyance to manageable proportions.
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No, I don’t yet know his dark secret. I only learned of his existence about a half hour ago while making pasta for dinner. I can tell you, though, that I used penne pasta, Italian seasoning, garlic-pepper salt, Fontina cheese, Roma tomatoes, and onion.
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Perhaps I will eventually tell you about the workings of Harald’s mind in similar detail. But as of now, no. We’ve just met and we haven’t learned to trust each other. Also, he wields an axe expertly and I can place a fire breathing dragon in the bathroom when he gets up at 3 am to pee.
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And now, on to his adventures, we don’t want to keep him waiting.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Harald the Axe Murderer | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ramen Crust Pizza

Fusion Entree

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RAMEN CRUST PIZZA

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INGREDIENTS
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2 packages (6 ounces) ramen noodles
1 egg
¼ cup Parmesan cheese, shredded
¾ teaspoon pizza seasoning
2½ tablespoons olive or vegetable oil
no-stick spray
¾ cup pizza or pasta sauce
¾ cup mozzarella cheese, shredded
12 pepperoni slices
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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10″ no-stick skillet
pizza pan or baking sheet
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Serves 4. Takes 45 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Add enough water to cover noodles to large pot. Bring to boil using high heat. Add ramen noodles Continue boiling for 2 minutes or until noodles become flexible, but not completely soft. Drain.
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Add egg, Parmesan cheese, and pizza seasoning to large mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add ramen noodles. Mix with fork until noodles are completely coated.
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Add olive oil to skillet. Heat olive oil at medium heat until a bit of Parmesan cheese starts to dance in the oil. Add ramen noodles. Parmesan cheese mixture. Use spatula to press down on mixture until it completely covers the skillet. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 2 minutes or until mixture turns into a pizza crust that is golden brown on the bottom. Remove ramen crust from heat.
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Spray pizza pan with no-stick spray. Place ramen crust on pizza pan. Use spatula to spread pizza sauce over ramen crust. Sprinkle mozzarella cheese onto pizza sauce. Top with pepperoni slices. Bake for 20 minutes at 425 degrees or until cheese melts and starts to brown.
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TIDBITS
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1) Long ago, voyages from Europe to Japan took so long that any bread went moldy. Spaghetti endured, though. So, vessels carried spaghetti. But this pasta lasted only to Japan. Unfortunately, Japan only made ramen. So, crews ate ramen all the way back. Meals remained bland until a cook, Guiseppe Verdi, invented Ramen Crust Pizza. Making 1,296 identical meals, however, inspired Cook Verdi to compose The Four Seasons and other stuff instead. This is how we know him.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Beef Lasagna

Italian Entree

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BEEF LASAGNA

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INGREDIENTS – PASTA­
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3 cups flour*
2 eggs
1 egg yolk
½ cup water or more
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* = More might be needed for dusting, texture.
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INGREDIENTS – BEEF & CHEESE
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3 garlic cloves
1 white onion
½ cup fresh Parmesan cheese (2 tablespoons more later)
½ pound mozzarella cheese
1 cup ricotta cheese
1 pound ground beef
⅓ cup red wine
1 26-ounce jar spaghetti sauce
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 teaspoon basil
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
1 teaspoon oregano
¼ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon thyme
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INGREDIENTS – ASSEMBLY
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2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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9-inch x 13-inch baking dish
no-stick pastry mat
rolling pin
hand crank pasta machine
cooking scissors (If your baking dish is 8-inches x 8-inches, for example)
no-stick spray
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Serves 12. Takes 3 hours 10 minutes.
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PREPARATION – DOUGH
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Combine 3 cups flour, eggs, egg yolk, and water into large mixing bowl. Knead with hands for 15 minutes. Make a ball of the mixture. It should be only slightly sticky and should just be able to come off your hand. If some of the ball sticks to your hand, then add a bit more flour, mix again, and try the new flour. If the flour ball is powdery, it is too dry. Add a bit more water, mix again, and try the consistency of the next ball. There may be a number of these iterations but it must be done. Divide dough ball into 3 equal mini-dough balls. Wrap mini-dough balls with plastic wrap and let sit in refrigerator for 1 hour.
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PREPARATION – BEEF & CHEESE
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Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Mince garlic cloves and onion. Grate, Parmesan cheese. Add mozzarella, Parmesan, and ricotta cheeses to medium mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended
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Add ground beef, onion, and garlic to frying pan. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Add red wine, spaghetti sauce, diced tomatoes, basil, bay leaf, Italian seasoning, oregano, pepper, salt, and thyme. Cook on medium heat for 3 minutes, stirring occasionally.
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PREPARATION – PASTA
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This preparation needs to be done 3 times. Dust no-stick pastry mat with flour. Remove 1 dough ball from refrigerator. Keep remaining amount in fridge until needed. Put this ¼ dough ball on pastry mat. Dust rolling pin. Roll out dough into oval shape 5½” wide and ¼” thick. (Anything thicker inhibits dough from going through hand-crank pasta machine.)
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Use pasta machine’s thickest setting. (#1 on mine.) Hold dough vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Turn crank slowly to feed dough oval through roller. Fold resulting dough sheet in half. Cut about ¼” off each side to make it rectangular and thus easier to feed into roller. (This also makes for uniform dough sheets.) Run this folded sheet through roller.
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Dust dough sheet. Set pasta’s setting the next narrower setting. (#2 on mine.) Again, hold dough sheet vertically and straight as possible over pasta machine’s roller. Repeat process, selecting a narrower setting each time, until final pasta sheet is about 1/16″ thick. Repeat entire pasta-sheet preparation until all dough is used. Trim pasta sheets to be 13″ * 4½”. The cutoff pieces of dough can be used to make another sheet.
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PREPARATION – ASSEMBLY
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Grate 2 teaspoons Parmesan. Use no-stick spray on baking dish. Put a layer of lasagna, 2 side-by-side noodles on the dish. If the noodles happen to be longer than your baking dish, snip off the excess length with your scissors. In this recipe, 6 noodles will make one lasagna dish with 2 layers of meat sauce. Reserve about ½ cup meat sauce. Divide remaining meat sauce and cheese equally between layers.
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Cover this 1st layer of noodles with a layer of meat sauce and a layer of cheese. Add a 2nd
layer of noodles, meat sauce, and cheese. Add a 3rd layer of noodles. Spoon just a little meat sauce atop the top layer along with 2 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Put glass lid or aluminum foil on top of baking dish. Cook lasagna in covered baking dish in oven at 375 degrees for 45 minutes. Cook uncovered for an additional 15 minutes or until bubbly. Remove and let sit for 5 minutes more.
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TIDBITS
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1) Beef lasagna with homemade noodles takes a lot preparation. I believe it’s worth it. The texture of the homemade noodles far surpasses what you would get from using dry, premade noodles.
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2) Still, it’s lot of continual work. So, be nice to the chef who makes this dish. In fact, lavish gifts would be appropriate.
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3) You might even proposing marriage to the chef who makes this entree. Could you do better with any other eligible bachelor or bachelorette? No, I didn’t think so.
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4) This dish is also complicated for the restaurant. Add in the cost of the beef and cheeses and you can see why can be expensive to order lasagna.
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5) Humor break!
Q: Why did the chicken cross to the other side?
A: It didn’t. It was on a Mobius strip.
Ha! Ha! Ha!
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6) The following are dishes that I’ve made that require a fair amount of preparation or regular monitoring.
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7) Tamales. Why that’s just a lot of corn floury stuff and lead pencil’s worth of filling. Should be cheap. Then you try to make it by hand.
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8) Mincemeat pies. As with this dish, Beef Lasagne, there’s a lot of fuss make the pastry.
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9) Ravioli. Lasagna’s cousin. You make the pasta the same way. However, you still have to form the individual raviolo–Yes, that is indeed the singular form of ravioli–one way or another from the pasta sheets.
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10) Enough of the complicated dishes. Let’s have something easy. Okay, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. That surely is the simplest thing to make. Or is it?
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11) Peanut butter sandwich.
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12) Two slices of bread.
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13) One slice of bread.
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14) Nothing on a plate. The virtue of the this dish arises from its utter simplicity in preparation and ingredients. You will never, I guarantee it, need to dash off to the store for a missing ingredient. You might never have on hand some rare herb, but you will always have something of nothing on hand and that’s something. Also, there’s no greater friend to the would-be dieter. There’s literally no calories in nothing.
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15) There’s one more simplification. Dispense with the plate. Serve your nothing on nothing. Nothing on nothing remains the most transportable dish ever devised. There you go.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Kitchen Gizmos – For Ravioli

Good heavens, ravioli sure taste yummy. Homemade ravioli are even tastier. But gosh, making the pasta for the ravioli completely by hand is so time time consuming and leads to pasta with uneven thickness. That’s why I like my ravioli gizmos.

Look at the picture below. The hand-crank pasta machine is second to the left. Feed pasta in at the top. Turning the crank will turn out a pasta sheet on uniform thickness. The extra attachment on the far left helps make spaghetti.

The ravioli mold is on the right. It yields 21 small and even ravioli. It also makes assembly much easier.

And remember, spending money of gizmos isn’t frivolous when the gadgets are for the kitchen.

Ravioli gizmos

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Turkey Salisbury Steak With Pasta

American Entree

TURKEY SALISBURY STEAK WITH PASTA

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INGREDIENTS

2 garlic cloves
2 eggs
1 cup bread crumbs
½ teaspoon rosemary
½ teaspoon marjoram
½ teaspoon thyme
1½ pounds ground turkey
1½ tablespoons olive oil

4 tablespoons flour
2 cups chicken broth
3 teaspoons tomato sauce
3 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce

½ pound little-shell pasta (or another variety, if you prefer.)
brick for keeping this cook book open to this page

Makes 6 to 8 Salisbury steaks.

PREPARATION

Mince garlic cloves. Use hands to mix minced garlic, eggs, bread crumbs, marjoram, rosemary, thyme, and turkey in large mixing bowl. Form 6 to 8 patties.

Cook pasta according to instructions on package, or boil it for 5-to-7 minutes.

Meanwhile back at the range, pour oil into first of two frying pans. Add patties. Fry on medium-high heat for about 3 minutes on each side or until meat is no longer pink. Cover and keep warm.

While pasta and patties are cooking, add flour, chicken broth, tomato sauce, and Worcestershire sauce to another frying pan. Fry for about 5 minutes at medium-high heat, or until the sauce starts to boil. Stir frequently. Add cooked patties to this frying pan. Cook patties and sauce at low-medium heat for about 3 minutes.

Serve patties and sauce on top of cooked pasta. Yum.

TIDBITS

1) Salisbury steak was one of my favorites at the university cafeteria.

2) Liver and onions was my least favorite. They weren’t prepared well, so no one ever ate them. Well, maybe a few desperate vampires, but they usually dropped out of the university in their freshmen year due to most classes taking place in the daytime.

3) I rapidly learned never, NEVER, to eat the “Chef’s Surprise.” The only surprise about this dish is why people ever ate it. It was usually some gross dish that the chef had left over from the previous dinner. I owe my hold on sanity to forgetting the specifics of these meat masses.

4) On “Chef Surprise” nights, we usually ate at the University’s burger and hot-dog joint.

5) Pancakes at the university tasted well enough, but they were powerful hard to digest. I think some of them could have doubled as cannon balls.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Cheese Ravioli

Italian Entree

CHEESE RAVIOLI

INGREDIENTS – PASTA

3 cups or more of flour (¼ cup more later in FINAL STAGE)
2 eggs
¾ cup or more water

INGREDIENTS – FILLING

¾ cup ricotta cheese
¼ cup grated, or chopped, mozzarella cheese
3 tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 tablespoon basil
½ teaspoon salt (Used 3 times for a total of 2 teaspoons)
1 garlic clove

INGREDIENTS – MARINARA SAUCE

6 Roma tomatoes
½ large white onion
2 garlic cloves
2 teaspoons basil
½ teaspoon marjoram
1 teaspoon oregano
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon thyme
1 6 ounce can tomato sauce

INGREDIENTS – FINAL STAGE

water
1 teaspoon salt
1 tablespoon olive oil
¼ cup flour

SPECIAL UTENSILS

rolling pin
cutting board

Makes about 40 ravioli.

PREPARATION – PASTA

Combine flour, eggs, and water. Mix with hands and make a ball of the mixture. It should just be able to come off your hand. If some of the ball sticks to your hand, then add a bit more flour, mix again, and try the new flour. If the flour ball is powdery, it is too dry. (If you suddenly feel like bowling, the flour ball is too heavy.) Add a bit more water, mix again, and try the consistency again. You might need to do this a number of times.

Sprinkle a generous amount of flour on your cutting board and rolling pin. Roll flour ball out until it is NO THICKER than ¼-inch. Frequently sprinkle the rolling pin to keep the dough from sticking. Let rolled-out flour sit for AT LEAST 4 hours. It should be nearly dry.

PREPARATION – FILLING

While rolled out flour dries, mince 1 garlic glove. Combine ricotta cheese, mozzarella cheese, and Parmesan cheese, basil, salt, (First use of salt.) and garlic in mixing bowl. Mix with hands. Put cheese filling in fridge.

PREPARATION – MARINARA SAUCE

Mince Roma tomatoes. Peel and mince onion and 2 garlic cloves. Add tomato, onion, garlic, basil, marjoram, oregano, salt, (Second use of salt.) thyme, and tomato sauce to sauce pot. Cook on medium-high heat until mixture boils, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes with the lid on. Stir occasionally.

FINAL PREPARATION

Dust cutting board with flour. Use knife to cut 1½-inch wide strips in the flour. Cut these strips into rectangles every 3-inches. (Don’t use these rectangles while reading. They make disappointing bookmarks.) Dust strips with flour. Put a ½ teaspoon or so of the filling on the right side of the 1½-inch by 3-inches flour rectangle. Fold the left side over the filling. Push down on the open sides with the tines of the fork to seal the ravioli.

Fill pot with enough water to cover ravioli. Add salt (Third use of salt.) and olive oil. Boil water. Add ravioli and cook for 20 to 30 minutes. Ravioli should float to the top and the dough should be completely soft. (Now you know why restaurant ravioli are expensive.)

Meanwhile back at the range, cook pasta sauce in pot on medium heat until it is warm. Put ravioli in bowl and add pasta sauce.

TIDBITS

1) The singular form of “ravioli” is “raviolo.”

2) Scarcely anyone eats ravioli for breakfast.

3) But there is a ravioli burrito.

4) Oh my gosh, there is a lutefisk burrito.

5) Why?!! Why?!! Oh the humanity, oh the culinary carnage!

6) Horrors! There is such a thing as a lutefisk ravioli!

7) I think I need to sit down and have a nice, tall frosty mug of root beer.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Meatball in Pasta Nest

Italian Appetizer

MEATBALL IN PASTA NEST

INGREDIENTS

6 Italian pasta nests*
6 premade meatballs
9 tablespoons Alfredo sauce
½ teaspoon Italian seasoning
1½ cups mozzarella cheese
2 teaspoons parsley

* = Found in supermarkets with a large pasta section or online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

sonic obliterator, how have you gone so long without one

Serves 6. Takes 20-to-40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook pasta nests according to instructions on package. Cook meatballs according to instruction on package Place nests on plate. The nests might need some gentle reshaping to look like a nest again.
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Spoon an equal amount of Alfredo sauce into the middle of each nest. Place a meatball in center of each pasta nest. Sprinkle an equal amount of Italian seasoning over each meatball.

Add mozzarella to pan. Heat at medium heat until it becomes gooey. Spoon 1/6th of the mozzarella over each meatball. You might need to reshape the mozzarella so that it totally covers the meatball and not much else.

Sprinkle an equal amount of parsley over each egg. The whole thing should look like a speckled, white egg in a nest. Use sonic obliterator to zap any oafish guest who says your cheese-covered meatball doesn’t really look like an egg. You don’t need negativity in your kitchen.

TIDBITS

1) The photo for this recipe is a Rorschach test.

2) Do you see a bird’s egg or only a meatball covered with Alfredo sauce?

3) Or did you see a space alien with two small eyes, one large pointy ear, a big nose, a slightly open mouth, a shoulder, part of a chest, and a glorious mass of tangled blond hair? Me neither.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Makawoni Au Graten (macaroni and cheese)

Haitian Entree

MAKAWONI AU GRATEN
(macaroni and cheese)

INGREDIENTS

binary comment

1 pound rigatoni or penne pasta
1 garlic clove
1 small onion
1 red bell pepper
3 tablespoons butter
1 12-ounce can evaporated milk
⅔ cup mayonnaise
1½ cups grated Parmesan cheese
1½ cup grated Edam or Gouda cheese
1 teaspoon seasoned salt

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ * 13″ casserole dish

Serves 8. Takes 1 hour 15 minutes.

PREPARATION

Cook rigatoni according to instructions on package. Drain and set aside. Mince garlic clove, onion, and bell pepper. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Add garlic, onion, bell pepper and butter to pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until garlic and onion soften. Add pasta and evaporated milk to pot with sautéed onion. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add mayonnaise, Parmesan cheese, Edam cheese, and seasoned salt. Mix with spoon until well blended. Ladle ingredients in pot into casserole dish. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes or until top turns golden brown.

TIDBITS

1) Albert Einstein, the great mind of the 20th century, theorized that time slows as you travel at speeds closer and closer to the speed of light. He also postulated that as you zip along at velocities near the speed of light, that things get heavier and heavier.

2) So if you were in a spaceship traveling closer to closer to light speed, the time required to make Makawoni au Graten would go from 1 hour 15 minutes to hours and hours or even years. The weight of your macaroni would gradually increase from perhaps four pounds to four tons.

3) Who would ever want to wait years to eat this entree? Who would want to eat four tons of it? Certainly no American astronaut. This is why NASA never serves Makawoni au Graten on its space missions. Not to worry, though, it’s perfectly safe to eat here down on Earth. Darn tasty, too.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D., critic

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Noodles With Poppy Seeds

Polish Dessert

NOODLES WITH POPPY SEEDS

INGREDIENTSPoppyPasta-

8-ounce bag egg noodles
¼ cup poppy seeds
2 tablespoons butter
3 tablespoons honey

Takes 15 minutes. Makes 4 bowls.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

spice grinder

PREPARATION

Cook egg noodles according to instructions on bag. While noodles cook, melt butter. Grind poppy seeds thoroughly with spice grinder. Drain noodles. Add ground poppy seeds, melted butter, and honey to noodles. Mix ingredients with fork until well blended.

TIDBITS

1) I was tempted to write, “Toss ingredients,” but I recently saw a football movie and I kept picturing someone tossing the poppy pasta down the length on the kitchen.

2) Pasta football almost caught on during World War II. Real football production had ceased in 1942 due to wartime restrictions. Real footballs became harder and harder to find.

3) Professional football merged to conserve the nation’s dwindling supply of real footballs.

4) But the fans in the cities that lost their teams still wanted to see professional football. Patriotic Polish-American chefs came up with the poppy pasta football. It was enough for the football starved fans. In 1944, the PPPFL, Polish Poppy Pasta Football League was formed.

5) The league was comprised of franchises from: St. Louis, Poway, California, Keokuk, Illinois, Madison, Wisconsin, Taos, New Mexico, and Biloxi, Mississippi. The league did not thrive. The poppy pasta football kept disintegrating in the rain.

6) Then on November 17, 1944 with Keokuk losing to Poway 44 to 13 and three minutes left, Keokuk quarterback, Chris Gashud ate the last football. No football, no more playing. There were no rules to cover this. The game was considered to be the same as a rainout. Losing teams took their cue from this incidents and ate the pasta ball in the final minutes of game after game. The league folded in late December.

7) Isn’t Gashud Swedish for “gooseflesh?” Yes, it is.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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