Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.
https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/
And now, a few pictures to inspire you.
Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.
https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/
And now, a few pictures to inspire you.
Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.
https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/
And now, a few pictures to inspire you.
Or contact Paul at:
Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, The Darwin Murders. This event takes place July 20 on Facebook. Click on the below link to find out more.
https://www.facebook.com/events/137774169753258/
And now, a few pictures to inspire you.
Authors Candace C. Bowen and Paul R. De Lancey cordially invite you to contribute a short story to the Kindle e-book anthology, “The Darwin Murders.” This event takes place July 20 on Facebook.
1) We are looking for murder or accidental murder stories where humanity benefits from the offing of a certain type of individual. Examples are telemarketers, Windows 8 
executives, etc. You decide. No real people to be offed, in real life or fictionally for goodness sake.
2) One submission of 250 words or fewer.
3) Submit with title, author name, and indicate permission to publish. Please provide two sentence bio. If desired, one or two of the sentences may include links to the author’s sites.
4) We strongly encourage submissions on the date of the event. Submissions on other dates will be allowed but we cannot promise inclusion from those other dates. We might already be going to press or we might just miss it.
5) There will be five well publicized dates when this e-book will be offered for free.
6) Two winners will be honored by mention on Candace C. Bowen’s and Paul R. De Lancey’s web sites, Facebook, and Paul’s blog, and any other way our harried brains can think up.
Let the brainstorming begin.
– Paul De Lancey, co-editor
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Mozambiquean Entree
INGREDIENTS
3 cloves garlic
4 hot red peppers
2 teaspoons brown sugar
1 cup coconut milk
1/2 tablespoon parsley
1/4 teaspoon salt
5 chicken breasts
PREPARATION
If you are pressed for time, omit the 2 hours of marinating.
The first 6 ingredients make up the fixings for chicken piripiri sauce (Piripiri sauce is the national sauce of Mozambique and is modified slightly for each meat or main ingredient.) Mince garlic and hot red peppers. Combine garlic, red pepper, brown sugar, coconut milk, parsley, and salt in large mixing bowl.
Put chicken breasts in mixing bowl. Turn chicken around until they are coated with piripiri sauce. Put bowl in refrigerator and marinate for 2 hours.
Preheat oven to 475 degrees using broil setting. Put coated chicken breasts on grill in oven Put pan underneath coated chicken breasts to catch dripping piripiri sauce. Broil for 20 minutes, basting chicken with piripiri sauce 4 times, once every 5 minutes. Turn chicken breasts over. Again, broil for 20 minutes, basting chicken with piripiri sauce 4 times, once every 5 minutes.
5 minutes before chicken is ready, warm remaining piripiri sauce in saucepan on low-to-medium heat for 5 minutes. Remove chicken breasts from oven. Ladle warmed piripiri sauce over chicken breasts. Play Bob Dylan’s Mozambique and enjoy.
TIDBITS
1) The song “Mozambique” began as a game with Bob Dylan and Jacques Levy trying to make as many rhymes for “ique.”
2) They wrote this song in 1975. Time to update it to pay homage to the culinary greatness of my hometown.
3) I like to spend some time in my Poway.
The local food is on display
All the diners love amore
It’s very nice to eat good pêche flambé
And maybe sip some Chardonnay.
Our long stop lights in Poway
Give plenty time to eat all day.
And everybody wants to dine they say
And treat our sweethearts to Chik-Fil-A.
The Muzak the speakers blast and play? Georges Bizet!
It’s very nice to sup consommé
When made from the seeds of caraway.,
Eating well-done steak with plum puree.
Flown all the way from Mandalay.
And though it’s time for leaving Poway.
You stop once more in that café.
Your body needs coffee from Paraguay
and maybe some dessert. What’s great you say
Chef Paul recommends his own Crème brulee!
From the hot ovens of his old Poway
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Ghanian Entree
KELEWELE
(Hot plantain chips)
INGREDIENTS
4 ripe plantains
1 clove garlic
2 teaspoons honey
1 teaspoon cayenne
1 teaspoon fresh ground ginger
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup oil
SPECIAL UTENSIL
electric skillet
PREPARATION
Peel plantains. Slice plantains into round slices no wider than 1/4″. Dice garlic. Put round plantain slices, garlic, honey, cayenne, ginger, salt, and oil into mixing bowl. Mix ingredients with hands until spices coat plantain slices.
Put oil in skillet. There should be enough to cover plantain slices. Heat skillet to 350 degrees. Put a tiny bit of plantain in skillet. Oil is hot enough when the plantain bit starts to dance around. Carefully put plantains slices in hot oil. (Getting splattered by hot oil hurts quite a bit. May I suggest using the skillet lid as a shield between yourself and the oil.) To ensure even cooking of the plantains, make sure that none of the plantain slices touch each other. You will most likely need to cook the plantain slices in batches.
Fry each batch at 350 degrees for 3 minutes. Turn the slices over and fry for 3 minutes more. Remove slices with spoon with holes in it. Put slices in bowl. Remove remaining oil with paper towel. Repeat for each batch.
Serve hot to hungry quests.
TIDBITS
1) A search of fun facts about Ghana reveals that its currency is the Cedi. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve enlivened a party by relating that gem. Well yes, I can.
2) The plantains is not a happening fruit, not like its exciting cousin, the banana. For example, did you know the plantains is part of the genus Musa in the Musacaea family of flowering plants? Now hold on to something sturdy before reading further. Alhough plantains grow as tall as trees, they’re only gigantic herbs because they have succulent stems instead of trunks. I’d go on but my heart is already racing like a jackrabbit.
4) Even though the plantain looks a lot like a banana, people never think of the sexual implications of eating or dreaming a plantain.
5) But it could have been different if the great psychiatrist Sigmund Freud had ever traveled to Ghana. Then he would have said, “Sometimes a plantain is just a plantain.”
6) But as any historian will say, you can only rewrite history so far. The superior slipping properties of the banana over the plantain ensued the complete dominance of the banana in silent films and in early talking motion pictures. We saw bananas. We ate bananas.
7) It’s the same thing with tuna and lutefisk. People eat tuna over lutefisk because we only see tuna being eaten on television and in movies, never lutefisk.
8) Okay, we also never eat lutefisk because it looks bad, tastes bad and smells. Indeed, I wouldn’t be entirely surprised to learn that many secret governmental agencies around the world employ lutefisk as an enhanced interrogation technique.
9) Have a plantain instead.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
American Dessert
INGREDIENTS
1 1/2 cup sugar
2 cups water (6 more cups later)
2 cups lemon juice (might need 8 to 12 lemons if freshly squeezed)
6 cups water
PREPARATION
Use juicer to extract lemon juice or open up bottle of lemon juice. Put sugar and 2 cups water in saucepan. Cook at medium heat until sugar dissolves. (This keeps sugar from settling to bottom.) Stir constantly.
Add sugar water, lemon juice, and 6 cups water to pitcher. Stir with long spoon. Cool in refrigerator for 30 minutes or more.
TIDBITS
1) “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”
2) “When life gives you loquats, make loquatade.
3) Lemon zest is chockfull of bioflavonoids called rutins. Sounds healthy, doesn’t it.
4) My spell checker didn’t recognize “chockfull” but was perfectly fine with bioflavonoids. Odd.
5) When I grew up we had not only a lemon tree and a loquat tree in the back, but a guava bush as well. I had a rich childhood.
6) Peter, Paul, and Mary had a hit song called, “Lemon Tree.” The guava bush, in my opinion, has many similarities to the lemon tree. They could have called their song, “Guava Bush.”
“Guava bush, very pretty, and the guava flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor guava is impossible to eat.”
7) Would Peter, Paul, and Mary still have had a hit song if they had warbled about the humble guava instead? It’s hard to say without shifting into the correct parallel universe. And that seems risky.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com
As an e-book on Nook
A big thank you to Natasha Fondren of eBook Artisans who is as professional and competent as she is nice.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Woo hoo! My international cookbook, Eat Me, 169 Fun Recipes From Around the World, is out.
On Amazon: paperback and e-book
On Nook: e-book
PRAISE FOR EAT ME
“Paul De Lancey’s cookbook, Eat Me! 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World is as hysterical as it is chock-full of yummy recipes and wacky trivia.
“From the author of We’re French and You’re Not and The Fur West, De Lancey entertains supreme as he distills cooking to the simplest of terms—from boiling water (and identifying the stove) to preparing timeless classics from every corner of the globe including scrumptious Beef Stroganoff and Greek Wraps with tzatziki sauce.
“Every recipe is followed by hilarious tidbits, such as, ‘King Louis XV ate boiled eggs every Sunday. This practice ceased with his death.’ And advice galore, Crunchy Tuna Casserole – ‘This is not a good meal to make if your dishwasher doesn’t work as happened to me. Grr!’
“De Lancey is one of the freshest voices in the cookbook world. He will have your family and guests spewing milk from their noses as you read about the perils of dropping raw eggs from too great a height into hot Tomato Drop Soup.
“Eat Me! is a must read for anyone with a sense of humor and a desire to expand their menu.”
– Marie Etienne, author of Storkbites: A Memoir and Confessions of a Bi-Polar Mardi Gras Queen
“What’s up with straightforward, no-nonsense cookbooks? A little nonsense in the kitchen can make meal preparation more fun. That’s what Paul De Lancey does in Eat Me, a cookbook spiced with comedy, leavened with silliness, and still fully informative and functional. So get out those pots and pans and your sense of humor and have some fun creating that next meal.”
—Roger L. Conlee, author of Fog and Darkness and The Hindenburg Letter.
“I don’t cook, my favorite dinner is popcorn and M&Ms and I store my sweaters in the oven, but Paul De Lancey’s new cookbook may change all that. From what I’ve seen of his recipes and accompanying photos, this cook knows his ingredients.”
-Judy Reeves, author of A Writer’s Book of Days
“Eat Me by Paul De Lancey is the only way I know of to learn how to cook simple yummy meals while laughing too hard to eat your simple yummy meals. Seriously. This author’s recipes are so inextricably layered with absurdity, puns, and outrageous assertions that I never knew whether I was chuckling at his jokes or cooking them up myself. A great, side-tickling–and practical–read for anyone’s kitchen!”
– Reina Lisa Menasche, author of Twice Begun
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Paul De Lancey's Blog 