Posts Tagged With: De Lancey

Mexican Nopal Revuelto (Cactus)

Mexican Breakfast

NOPAL REVUELTO
(Cactus)

INGREDIENTS

3 cups (1 pound) nopalitos*
2 cups (10 ounces)panela cheese**
1 medium onion
5 eggs
¼ teaspoon cumin

* = These are thin strips of the fleshy part of cactus paddles. (Warning, nopalitos from jars can be quite salty.) Drain and rinse before using. They can be found in some local supermarkets, Mexican markets, or online.
** = They also can be found in some local supermarkets, Mexican markets, or online.

SPECIAL UTENSIL

electric beater

Serves 5. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Rinse nopalitos if they came from a jar. Crumble panela cheese into small pieces. Dice onion. Separate egg whites from egg yolks. Add egg whites to mixing bowl. Whip with electric beater set on high until soft peaks form. Beat yolks until thoroughly blended. Gradually add yolks to whites. Blend gently with fork. Add nopalitos, cheese, onion, and cumin. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended..

Add 1 cup nopalito mix to pan. Smooth with spatula. Cook at medium heat for 5 minutes. Scramble the mix for 4 minutes or until the eggs set. Repeat for the next 4 servings.

Serve with green tomatillo sauce (green), red sauce, or salsa.

TIDBITS

1) This dish, Nopal Revuelto, is made from cactus. Cactus has all sorts of sharp needles all over its green paddles. Those needles would really hurt your hand if you were to grab a cactus paddle. Don’t even contemplate cactus diving.

2) So how do rabbits never get hurt by cactus bushes? They dart in and out of the bush while happily nibbling away. Cactus harvesters would really like to know. But the bunnies aren’t talking.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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The Meeting’s Minutes

Serve this and they will come.

I absolutely do not want to put down anyone’s faith, including Catholics, in any way. However, I also believe that meetings are generally soul-sucking experiences. Here’s my impression of a meeting at a Catholic church. I suspect much of what’s said below would apply to other religious meetings and to business ones as well.

******************

The Ever Magnificent Local Chapter of the Legion of Goodness:

Umpteenth meeting.

People showed up. Some people did not show up. The ones that didn’t show up were elsewhere. They failed to attend because they were ill or didn’t want to come.

A deacon showed up. He talked about the Eucharist. He said it was good. Everyone agreed with this. I feel he said some other things as well.

People said at length what they did. Some visited retirement homes to give the Eucharist to the shut ins. This was a great thing. Other members did things of lesser importance.

Many people commented on what others did. Some attendees, however, minded their own business and said nothing at this point. One person had a painful canker sore and said nothing. A friend, I am told, watched the wall clock a lot.

It is possible that more people would show up if shrimp cocktails and tea sandwiches were to be served. We meet a week from now at the same time.

Jane Dough, secretary

**************

Keep the faith.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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A Cookbook For Squares

An amazing amount of food is round. Are there other shapes allowed in cooking?

Yes, I’m glad you asked. Just in time for early, early Christmans shopping is the cookbook:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Lucy Llama Advises Men About Women

Men, you’d better listen to Lucy.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Strawberry Freezer Jam

American Breakfast

STRAWBERRY FREEZER JAM

INGREDIENTS

2 cups fresh, crushed strawberries (about 1 pound whole)
2 tablespoons lemon juice
4¼ cups sugar
¾ cup water
6 tablespoons (1 1.75 oz box) fruit pectin powder

SPECIAL UTENSILS

potato masher or food processor
6 * 1-cup hot, sterilized* Mason jars (They really must be hot and newly sterilized.)

Makes 5-to-6 cups. Takes 1 hour plus maybe 3 hours to set.

PREPARATION

Remove green stems from strawberries. Cut each strawberry into 8 bits. Smash strawberry bits with potato masher until thoroughly crushed. (Or bits add to food processor. Pulse processor until thoroughly crushed, but not yet pureed.) Some strawberry bits should remain.

Add strawberries and lemon juice to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Add sugar. Mix with fork or whisk until sugar dissolves completely. (Sugar that doesn’t dissolve make the jam grainy.)

Add water and pectin to pan. Bring to boil using high heat. Stir constantly. Boil for 1 minute, stirring constantly. Pour boiling water over strawberry/sugar mix. Stir constantly for 3 minutes. The mixture should start to jell and thicken.

Pour strawberry mixture into Mason jars. Leave ½” gap at the top. Stir until strawberry bits, gel, and juice blend. Cover and let stand until set, but not longer than 24 hours. If desired, serve some immediately. Store the rest in the refrigerator for 3 weeks or in the freezer for up to 1 year.

TIDBITS

1) Mason jars are round.

2) Not everything is round. Sometimes pizzas are rectangular. Flower pots can be square. Refrigerators are never round. No, not ever.

3) However, Mason jars must be round. It would be impossible to screw on or off a square lid.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Archer Woman on Please and Thank You

Some people forgo common courtesy. Archer Woman knows how to teach them.

Archer Woman #2

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Archer Woman on Line Cutting

People who do rude things often say, “Well, what are you going to do about it?” Archer Woman knows what she’ll do,

 

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Archer Woman | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Mchicha From Tanzania (Spinach and Peanut Curry)

Tanzanian Entree

MCHICHA
(Spinach and Peanut Curry)

INGREDIENTS

1 medium onion
1½ pounds spinach
1 tomato
2½ tablespoons ghee or butter
2 teaspoons curry powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup coconut milk
2½ tablespoons creamy peanut butter

SPECIAL UTENSIL

food processor (You really need this unless you’re willing to spend a lot of time chopping by hand, or so a friend told me when his food processor died just as the spinach dicing started.)

Serves 6. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION

Dice onion, spinach, and tomato. Add ghee, onion, tomato, curry powder, and salt to pan. Sauté at medium heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add spinach. Lower heat to low and simmer for 10 minutes. (Do not let spinach get mushy.) Stir enough to prevent burning. Add coconut milk and creamy peanut butter. Simmer for 3 minutes or until peanut butter blends in completely. Stir occasionally.

Goes well with rice beans, or maize porridge.

TIDBITS

1) Popeye the Sailor ManTM loved spinach.

2) It also made him strong

3) Tanzania should have its own version of Popeye.

4) Papaye Mtu Baharia is quite possibly a correct translation of his name into Swahili.

5) The most popular name for men in Tanzania is James.

6) So, I give you James Mtu Baharia, Tanzania’s strong spinach-eating hero.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Braised Pork Balls In Sauce

Chinese Entree

BRAISED PORK BALLS IN SAUCE

INGREDIENTS – PORK BALLS

2 green onions (2 more later)
1¼ pounds ground pork (70%, if possible)
½ teaspoon Chinese five spice or white pepper
½ tablespoon brown sugar
1½ tablespoons cornstarch
1¼ teaspoons minced ginger (¾ teaspoon more later)
½ teaspoon salt
½ tablespoon soy sauce
6 tablespoons peanut or sesame oil

INGREDIENTS – SAUCE

¾ teaspoon minced ginger
4½ tablespoons soy sauce
1½ tablespoons fish sauce or soy sauce
2 teaspoons Shaoxing wine or dry sherry or sake
2 green onions

SPECIAL UTENSILS

wok or large pan

Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.

PREPARATION – PORK BALLS

Thinly slice 2 green onions. Add all pork-balls ingredients except peanut oil to large mixing bowl. Mix with hands until well blended. Form 8 pork balls with hands. Add peanut oil to wok. Heat oil at medium-high heat until a slice of green onion in the oil starts to dance.

Carefully add pork balls to hot oil. Fry the pork balls for 2 minutes or until pork balls turn golden brown all over. Gently and quickly turn enough to ensure even browning. Cover. Reduce heat to low-medium and simmer for 15 minutes or until pork balls are no longer pink inside. (You can slice a pork ball slightly open and take a peek.) Turn occasionally to ensure even cooking inside. Use slotted spoon to remove pork balls. Drain on plate covered with paper towel.

PREPARATION – SAUCE

Add all sauce ingredients except 2 green onions to mixing bowl. Mix with spoon until well blended. Add pork balls to serving bowl. Ladle sauce over pork balls. Thinly slice 2 green onions. Garnish with sliced green onions.

TIDBITS

1) Braised Pork Balls In Sauce are round.

2) Electrons are also round. They can be seen with an electron microscope.

3) Electron microscopes are really neat. Where can you get one?

4) First, try CostcoTM. They have everything. However, they tend to sell in bulk. So, you might have to buy four electron microscopes at once. No one needs four such things.

5) So, look for electron microscopes on ebayTM. You might find a good deal. However, you most likely be purchasing a used one. Did the previous owner take good care of it? Will it even work when you receive it in the mail? Do you really want to buy it sight unseen?

6) You can look at everything that Dollar TreeTM carries before buying them. This precaution is essential for making an informed purchase. However, as of press time, the price tag for electron microscope exceeds a dollar. So you’re unlikely to find this gizmo there.

7) I don’t go to swap meets. Thus, I don’t know if you can pick up an electron microscope at one. If you frequent swap meets, please let me know about this.

8) Sometimes you can get a good sofa or desk that are left on the sidewalk in front of someone’s house. The same, however, cannot be said for electron microscope. A friend of mine, took four such abandoned microscopes. Everyone of them proved to be busted. Bummer.

9) But then, who would abandon a perfectly good electron microscope?

10) By the way, what is a synonym for electron microscope? Field emission telescope? Nah. How about Electron View Biggifier (EVB?) That seems more likely. Yeah, we’ll go with EVB.

11) Well then, where can you get an EVB? Okay, you need a really rich EVB hobbyist for a friend. Be sure to drops hints before your birthday.

12) Now a gift on an EVB is really special, no matter how rich your friend. So you really should consider sending her a thank-gift right away. May I suggest giving a fresh batch of homemade chocolate-chip cookies. Everybody loves those.

13) Don’t forget while EVB magnifies electrons, there is no such thing as a Braised Pork Ball microscope to view braised pork balls. All legitimately made pork balls can be seen with the naked eye. Regard with suspicion all microscopic pork balls sold online or by phone call.

14) Above and to the right is an image of the radon atom as seen by my EVB. As you can see, electrons are black.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, international, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Better World Through Pessimism

Optimism is overrated. Optimists always preach to pessimists,  “Stop being Dave and Debbie Downers. Just be happy. Life is too short to be downcast. You’ll never get anything done if you always dwell on the negative.”

Well, oh ho, let’s look at all the great life enhancing inventions pessimists have gifted the world.

1)) The first one is the parachute. Sure, optimists brought us the magnificient airplane. That gets shot down in war. Parachutes, concieved by pessimists, enable pilots to survive a crashing plane.

2) Fire extinguishers, neglected by optimists who built opera houses and movie theaters, help patrons to escape a fire.

3) Seat belts help drivers and riders to live through car crashes, sometimes unharmed. It took a look time for pessimists to win the battle on that one.

4) Air bags for cars. You had to be pessimistic about fatal automobile crashes to come up with that idea.

5) Backing up files on computer, on memory sticks, and the cloud. You had to be pretty darn negative here to think up that.

6) Hiring CPAs, tax attorneys, and the lot to do your taxes.  Depressed about doing your taxes correctly and avoiding an audit, weren’t you?

7) Insurance. Preventing you from being financially devestated by a unlikely distaster. Imagine, an entire thriving industry built on pessimism.

8) Our armed forces. We are indeed pessimistic that something horrible will happen to our nation and the world without a military to protect us.

9) Our police force. Our negativity constantly anticipates loss of property from thieves and murderers.

10) Antiseptics and ether. Would you chance surgery without them?

11) Locks on your house. The chance of your house being burgled is clearly less than 100%, yet we all get them and feel more secure as a result.

12) Alarm clocks. We don’t think we can get up in time without them.

13) Firemen. We can be pretty optimistic than we’ll never need a fire station. Yet thanks to pessimists they get built over and over. Homes and lives get saved.

14) Multiple engines on early airlines. Customers were so pessimistic about engine failure, that airlines were forced to add engines to the planes. Airline travel has flourished ever since. Can you imagine our world with air travel?

15) The eraser. Enough said.

There are many, many other life-enhancing inventions spurred on by pessimists. Please feel with ones that come to your mind. Thank you,

Anyway, three cheers for pessimists. I feel more optimistic knowing they’re around.

 

Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: observations, pessimists | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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