Posts Tagged With: butter

Split Pea Soup

American Soup

SPLIT PEA SOUP

INGREDIENTSSplitPea-

1 medium carrot
1 celery stalk
1 large onion
2 tablespoons butter.
9 cups water
2 cups (1 pound) dried split peas
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 bay leaf
1/2 teaspoon thyme
1/4 teaspoon pepper

SPECIAL UTENSIL

Dutch oven

PREPARATION

Mince carrot, celery, and onion. Add carrot, celery, onion, and butter to Dutch oven. Sauté veggies on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add split peas, water, marjoram, bay leaf, thyme, and pepper. Bring soup to boil on high heat, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about an hour or until peas are tender.

Transfer as much soup to blender as will fit. Liquefy or puree soup. Repeat for all batches on soup. Serve and enjoy. Soup crackers and ham go well with this soup.

TIDBITS

1) Gregor Mendel, used pea plants to prove his theory of dominant and recessive genes.

2) His published results were quite close to his hypothesis. In fact his results were so near that one can use statistics to show he fudged his outcomes to prove his point. Bad Mendel.

3) If I had a time machine, I could have gone back in time and convinced Mendel to publish the actual results. He still would have been famous for his ground breaking work without becoming a homework problem for students in statistics. I mean what did Mendel’s son think of all of this?

4) Felix Mendelsson, the great composer of his violin concert and incidental music for A Midsummer’s Night Dream, is probably not the son of Gregor Mendel as Felix’s birth occurred in 1809 and Gregor’s didn’t come into the world until 1822. Geneticists and biologists concur with this assessment with near unanimity.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Cemita, Mexican Sandwich

Mexican Entree

CEMITA
(Mexican Sandwich)

INGREDIENTSCemita-

2 garlic cloves
1 tablespoon minced onion
1 tablespoon butter.
1 teaspoon Mexican oregano
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup bread crumbs
2 eggs
1 pound round steak (sliced 1/4″ to 1/2″ thick)
at least 3 tablespoons olive oil.
2 tablespoons lemon juice

2 avocados
1 onion
12 ounces queso blanco or mozzarella
4 round rolls with sesame seeds
1/2 cup salsa

SPECIAL UTENSIL

kitchen mallet

PREPARATION

Mince garlic. Add garlic, onion, and butter to pan and sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion is tender. Remove garlic and onion. Add garlic, onion, oregano, pepper, and salt to mixing bowl. Stir with whisk until well mixed. Whisk eggs in separate bowl.

Tenderize steaks with kitchen mallet if steaks not already tenderized. Bam! Bam! Coat both sides of steaks in garlic/onion/spice mix. Dip steaks into whisked eggs, then into breadcrumbs, coating both sides. Add olive oil to skillet. Sautée each steak on medium heat for 1.5-to-2 minutes for each side, until breading is crispy and golden brown. Add olive oil as necessary for each steak sautéed. Place steaks on paper towels to drain Sprinkle with lemon juice. Slice lemon and put a slice with each steak.

Peel and pit avocados. Cut avocados into thin slices. Thinly slice onion. Grate cheese. Toast rolls. Place steak Milanesa on bottom half of roll. Top steak Milanesa with 1/4th of the avocado slices, 1/4th of the onion slices, and 1/4th of the grated cheese. Evenly spoon 1/4th of the salsa on top of the cheese. Put the top half of roll on top of everything. Repeat for the other 3 sandwiches.

TIDBITS

1) “Cemita sandwich” is an anagram for “Ascetic ham wind.”

2) There is a town in Massachussets called Sandwich. Its police cars have “Sandwich Police” on their doors.

3) Jim Morrison was the lead singer for the band, “The Doors.”

4) The Parisians use baguettes for their sandwiches.

5) The bloody French Revolution was caused, in great part, by the high cost of bread.

6) “Bread” was another great rock band.

7) Rock beat scissors.

8) Ancient Egyptians did not have scissors. They played “Rock, Paper.” As paper beats rock, everyone picked paper. All their games ended in a tie.

9) Tie are a popular gift for Father’s Day.

10) Doris Day was a great actress and singer. She never took her clothes off in any of her movies.

11) Clothes get cleaned in a washer.

12) But often only one sock per pair survives the washing. Where does the missing sock go?

13) I think the socks go to an alternate universe.

14) Socks the Cat was President Bill Clinton’s pet.

15) I met someone who had the job of protecting Socks when President Clinton visited San Diego.

16) But no one protects the socks that go into our washing machines. Perhaps our washing machines have obtained consciousness and have learned to hate us, just like computer printers.

17) Printers should be called Marleys because they’re always jammin’.

18) I almost saw Bob Marley’s house when I visited Jamaica.

19) Jamaica’s jerk-chicken dish is wonderful.

20) Soda jerks were common in America before World War II when this great land had lots of stores with soda fountains. Now soda jerks and soda fountains are mostly gone. The Allies made the world safe for democracy, but not for going out for a soda.

21) I need a sandwich to regain my rosy outlook on life. Ahh.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Bruna Boner (Swedish beans)

Swedish Entree

BRUNA BÖNER
(Swedish beans)

INGREDIENTSBrunerB-

1 pound bag pink beans
6 cups water
4 teaspoons, or half-stick, butter
8 ounces brown sugar
1/4 cup white vinegar
2 tablespoons corn starch

PREPARATION

Put beans in large pot. Add enough water to cover beans with a few inches to spare. Let soak overnight or at least 10 hours. The beans will be crunchy if not sufficiently soaked. (You do not want to wake up, twenty years later, in the middle of the night screaming, “Why? Why did I not soak the beans long enough?”)

Drain the water. (This gets rid of any dirt on the beans.) Add 6 cups water. Cook on medium heat for 40 minutes. Stir every few minutes. Add more water if the water no longer covers the beans. Covering the pot with a lid also keeps water from evaporating.

Add butter. Cook on low-to-medium heat for 40 minutes. Stir every few minutes to avoid burning. Add more water if the water no longer covers the beans.

Add sugar. (If the brown sugar comes out of the box as a brick, saw it in half.) Cook on low-to-medium heat for 40 minutes. Stir every few minutes to avoid burning. Add more water if the water no longer covers the beans. (Engrave this advice in your memory.)

Add 1/4 to 1/2 cup vinegar, teaspoon by teaspoon, according to taste. If needed, thicken beans by adding cornstarch.

TIDBITS

1) This recipe comes from my grandmother Anna Erickson who was born in Murrum, Sweden, in 1889. I miss her.

2) Her family came to America through Boston, having heard of the hardships of Ellis Island in New York.

3) She grew up in Shickley, Nebraska. She later went back with my mother to visit. The whole town went to an outdoor movie, but was distracted by a rather lengthy meteor shower.

4) I grew up with this sort of Swedish food. Where the weird, modern Swedish pizzas came from I don’t know. It’s also strange that Bruna Bonër, or Brown Beans, uses pink beans. Wacky Swedes.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Creamy Garlic Mashed Potatoes

American Entree

CREAMY GARLIC MASHED POTATOES

INGREDIENTSCreamyMashPot-

1 1/2 pounds new or small potatoes
4 cloves garlic
2 tablespoons butter
1/2 cup whipping cream
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper

PREPARATION

Peel potatoes. Cut each potato into eight pieces. Put potato pieces into large pot. Add enough water to cover potato bits. Bring water to boil on high heat. Reduce heat to low and simmer for about 20 minutes or until potato is tender. Drain potatoes.

While potato is cooking, mince garlic cloves. Put garlic and butter in pan. Sauté at medium-high for 5 minutes. Stir frequently.

Add whipping cream, garlic, salt, and pepper to pot with potato pieces. Mash potatoes with potato masher. Use whisk to further blend ingredients together. Serve hot. (But of course, alll chefs are hotties.)

TIDBITS

1) Butter might promote fertility in women.

2) Cholesterol in butterfat helps develop children’s brains and nervous systems.

3) Butter contains arachidonic acid. I have no idea what arachidonic acid is. Clearly, I didn’t eat enough butter when I was a kid. However, I do know a spider is an arachnid.

5) The best, or at least most enjoyable, horror movie about spiders are: Tarantula (1955), Earth Versus the Spider (1958), The Giant Spider Invasion (1975), Kingdom of the Spiders (1978), and Arachnophobia (1990).

6) The best spider-horror movie with a cameo appearance by Clint Eastwood is Tarantula.

7) The most fun spider movie is Charlotte’s Web. It features a talking spider and a talking pig. There is another great movie about a talking pig is Babe. Hollywood thinks pigs are cuter than spiders.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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White Cake

American Dessert

WHITE CAKE

INGREDIENTSWhiteCake-

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) butter
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs
3 egg whites
2 cups flour
2 1/4 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cups milk
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSILS

2 9″-round cake tins
electric beater

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let butter soften at room temperature. Put butter and sugar in large mixing bowl. Use “cake” setting on electric beater for 5 minutes or until butter and sugar becomes creamy.

Blend in eggs and egg whites one at a time using “cake” setting on electric beater. Add flour, baking powder, and salt to mixing bowl. Blend all using “cake” setting. Add milk. Blend one last time using “cake” setting on your electric beater until batter is smooth.

Spray cake tins with no-stick spray. Spoon or pour batter into cake tins. Put tins in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-to-35 minutes or until a toothpick stuck in the middle comes out clean or when the cake springs back when touched with a spoon.

TIDBITS

1) Queen Marie Antoinette was told that the poor Parisians couldn’t afford to buy bread anymore. She said, “Let them eat cake,” which was more expensive. This ignorance and callousness so inflamed the French poor that they started the French Revolution.

2) Thousands of the nobility died at the guillotine during the Revolution. Thousands more peasants died during the White Terror reaction of the nobility. France became so unstable that Napoleon was able to seize power in 1799. Napoleon plunged Europe into nearly constant warfare for the next sixteen years. Hundreds of thousands of people perished. People couldn’t every tweet outrage.

3) The French government since then has heavily regulated the price of bread.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Launa McNeilly’s Baked Stuffed Lobster

Baked Stuffed Lobster

LaunaLobster

My name is Launa McNeilly and I am a writer of three published novels with a fourth due out soon. I was asked to blog about something that I bake and since I am from Maine I decided to share my recipe for Baked Stuffed Lobster. This recipe is not for the faint of heart. PETA will certainly ban me from all of their functions but it’s worth the risk for a meal that you will remember for the rest of your life. I made this meal for my sister and her husband. She took the picture that you see of the finished product.

Stop reading here if you are faint of heart.

Ingredients:

2 live lobsters
2 boiled lobsters, picked
1 cup+ unseasoned breadcrumbs
Butter ( lots of it)

Slice live lobsters down the middle on belly side. Clean out the inside of lobster. You will see the guts that need to be pulled out. Gross, but necessary. Put cleaned out lobsters on an ungreased baking sheet.

Mix cooked lobster, cut up in small chunks, with cup of breadcrumbs, or more, depending on amount of chunk lobster. Stuff the cavity of uncooked lobster and drizzle melted butter over stuffing. Bake at 350 degrees in oven for about 30 min.

Melt butter for dipping lobster meat.

Serve with whatever makes you happy. I used corn on the cob and nothing else since this is a rich and filling dish. I can see lots of different sides with this, as well as different seafood in the stuffing, like scallops, crabmeat, or shrimp. If you can’t decide, put them all in for a seafood stuffing. Yes, later I served dessert, but that is for another blog.

Enjoy this wonderful taste of Maine.

My books can be found on Amazon.com.

Lies in a Season of Tribulation

Touches from the Beyond

The Evil Within

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Banana Crunchies From New Caledonia

New Caledonian Dessert

BANANA CRUNCHIES

INGREDIENTSBananaCrunch-

12 tablespoons or 1 1/2 sticks butter
1/2 cup unsalted, raw peanuts
2 ripe bananas
1 3/4 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 3/4 cups rolled oats
no-stick spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Let butter soften. Grind peanuts in food processor. Peel bananas. Mash bananas.

Use fork or whisk to mix flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in large bowl. Add butter and eggs. Mix with fork. Add banana, rolled oats, and peanuts. Mix with fork until well blended

Drop 1 tablespoon of mixture from bowl onto sprayed cookie sheet. Use hands to roll mixture into a log. Repeat until mixture is used up. Makes about 4 dozen crunchy logs.

Bake crunchies in oven at 450 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on wire rack for 15 minutes.

TIDBITS

1)Nutmeg has a hallucinogenic effect if taken in large amounts.

2) This is why this recipe uses only 1/4 teaspoon. I want you to be able to drive safely.

3) But honestly officer, I only took a pinch of nutmeg.

4) Nutmeg loses its flavor and potency when ground. So if you must drive and nutmeg, please consume the ground variety. Think of your reputation. Think of your family.

5. Nutmeg goes well with desserts, fruit, spinach, cheese, pork, pumpkin, eggs, and cabbage. Sure, you’re just trying to get high. Pumpkin pie for dessert, a likely story.

6. Alabama cares about safe driving as well. You may not drive blindfolded there.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Lavender Cookies

American Dessert

LAVENDER COOKIES

INGREDIENTSLavenCookie-

1 cup butter
1/3 cup sugar
1 tablespoon dried lavender (lavender buds)
2 cups flour (a bit more later for dusting surfaces)
3/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 tablespoons water

PREPARATION

Use fork to cream butter and sugar in mixing bowl. (It’s easier if your butter is already soft from being outside the refrigerator.) Add flour, lavender, flour, vanilla extract, and water. Mix with fork until thoroughly blended. Roll mixture into large dough ball. Cover with plastic wrap and chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Dust plate with flour. Put dough on plate and roll it out. Cut out cookies with knife, cookie cutter, or small cup. Dust cookie sheet with flour. Place cookies on cookie sheet and put in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes or until they just begin to brown.

Remove sheet from oven. Let cookies cool for 10 minutes. Remove from cookie sheet and place on wire rack. Let cool for another 10 minutes.

Cookie fiends will find waiting these 20 minutes difficult.

TIDBITS

1) Lavender has a long history of supposedly beneficial uses.

2) According to Chicago’s Smell and Taste Research Foundation, the most sexually exciting smells for men are lavender and pumpkin pie.

3) Having a man over lemon and lavender chicken and a pumpkin pie for dessert really loads the odds in your favor.

4) Unless, of course, your man has a migraine.

5) Good news, the German nun Hildegard of Bingen (1098-1179) believed drinks mixed with lavender cured migraines.

6) So why serve you headachy hunk a nice cooling drink of lavender lemonade? The lavender makes his head feel better. The lavender also makes him amorous. Can ViagraTM do as much? I think not.

7) Lavender was once claimed to cure impotence in mice. Why test it on mice? Why? Why? Do we need more mice?

8) But if lavender could cure impotence in men caused by evil spirits, it would be a great thing. Cheaper than ViagraTM. The pharmaceutical industry must be afraid of lavender.

9) And hah, Spanish churches used to burn lavender to keep away evil spirits.

10) Let’s recap. Lavender chases away evil spirits that cause male impotency, cures impotency, banishes headaches, puts a man in a loving mood, makes a great entree, and is the just the thing for a nice cooling drink.

11) And if you don’t have a date lavender will: protect you from the plague, alleviate muscular pains, diminish cold sores, soothe insect bites, banish head lice, mask halitosis, and control dandruff.

12) Yay lavender.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Bajan Macaroni Pie From Barbados

Barbadian Entree

BAJAN MACARONI PIE

INGREDIENTSBajanMacaroni-

1 pound macaroni
2 onions
2 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon banana ketchup
1 tablespoon mayonnaise
1 cup milk
1 tablespoon yellow mustard
3/4 cup grated cheddar cheese (1/4 cup more later)
2 tablespoons Bajan seasoning
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 tablespoon parsley
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1 egg
1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

SPECIAL UTENSIL

colander
8″ casserole dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Boil water in large pot on high heat. Put macaroni in pot. Boil macaroni for about 12 minutes or until tender Drain macaroni in colander.

While macaroni is boiling, dice onions. Put butter and onions in now empty pot. Sauté at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions are tender. Add banana ketchup, mayonnaise, milk, yellow mustard, 3/4 cup cheddar cheese, Bajan seasoning, paprika, parsley, pepper, and egg. Mix with hands. (Pretend you are throttling the people who make hated software upgrades.)

Put mixture in casserole dish. Sprinkle 1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese on top. Bake for 30 minutes or until top starts to turn brown.

TIDBITS

1) You should serve Burgundy alongside the macaroni you serve to your guests. Serving any other wine would be gauche.

2) When the ancient Egyptians entombed their dead they sometimes gave their departed ones cheese for their journey in the afterworld.

3) The first written recipe for mac and cheese comes from thirteenth-century Italy. It used fermented cheese. Hurray!

4) The box recipe for macaroni and cheese appeared in 1802. One year later, Napoleon crowned himself Emperor of France. He would plunge Europe into war after war for most of the next twelve years. Coincidence? Perhaps.

5) The phrase “Big Cheese” originally referred to people wealthy enough to purchase a whole wheel of cheese.

6) Kraft debuted its boxed mac and cheese in 1937. The Great Depression ends two years later.

7) In 1993, Crayola came out with the color, “macaroni and cheese.” We’ve had no global wars since then.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Ethiopian Dabo Kolo (Spicy bread bites)

Ethiopian Appetizer

DABO KOLO
(Spicy bread bites)

INGREDIENTSDaboKolo-

2 cups wheat flour
2 tablespoons berbere spice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
4 tablespoons butter
2/3 cup water
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

cookie tin

PREPARATION

Take butter out sufficiently in advance to let it soften. (Less preferred is nuking it in the microwave for 15 seconds. The worst way is hitting it with a sledge hammer. Sure there’s never been made a half stick that won’t soften under the blows of such a heavy, blunt instrument, but you have to ask yourself, “Do I really want butter all over the cabinets? Would I truly want a hole in the counter top?”)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Add flour, berbere spice, sugar, and salt  to mixing bowl. Combine with whisk or fork. Add water. Knead mixture for 5 minutes or until you have a stiff dough or paste. Add softened butter. Knead mix for 5 minutes.

Tear off a ball of dough about 1″ across. Roll it in your palms until it looks like a brown bread pencil about 1/2″ wide. Spray cookie tin with no-stick spray. Put brown bread pencils on cookie sheet. Put cookie sheet in oven. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes. Turn brown bread pencils over and cook for another 10-to-20 minutes or until they become lightly browned (Okay, a slightly different brown as they started brown.)

Serve to guests you like. If you don’t like your visitors, serve them anyway. Just tell them these bread bites are sweets.

TIDBITS

1) Salt is used to preserve food and add flavor.

2) S.A.L.T.. the Strategic Arms Limitation Treaty was designed to preserve peace by limiting the construction of nuclear weapons.

3) However, butter is an anagram for Bert Ut. Bert Ut was Mrs. Ut’s little boy, Bert.

4) Moreover, Dabo Kolo is an anagram for: Look! A Bod!, Lab Book., and Bodo KolaTM.

5) And by the way, does it still make sense to party like it’s 1999?

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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