You can’t spot the guacamole stain.
How many times has this happened to you? You’re dead tired, but you went to that party anyway. Your gracious host served a tableful of wonderfully tasty Mexican food. And the guacamole was to die for.
And now, you oaf, you spilled some heavenly guacamole on your cloud-white shirt. No one’s seen it yet, but in moments they will. And you will die of shame. You yearn to escape out the door. Your conscience won’t let you. You know you’re likely to crash your car if you drive away. There’s only one thing to do. Get sleep now. But if you go to sleep on a bed, people will notice. They’ll point at you and wake you up with their laughter. “Ha, ha,” they’ll say in unison, “look at Sleeping Beauty. Look at the guacamole stain. What a loser.”
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
Not if you buy your clothes from Food Stain Apparel(tm). Our matching set of Rock the Guac(tm) matching set of shirt and pants is just the thing for this social setting. This green, surfing Batman and Robin(tm) camouflage ensemble hides any amount of guacamole. As far as your fellow revelers know, you have the adept fingers of a concert violinist.
And don’t worry about falling asleep in a bed. We’ve designed our Rock the Gauc evening wear to mimic pajamas! Our PJs blend right in with the bed. Wake up the next morning refreshed and happy. People will talk for years to come about that bon vivant violinist.
Be rested. Be confident. Buy Food Stain Apparel.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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