cuisine

Vanilla Frosting

Posted on December 7, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Dessert

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VANILLA FROSTING

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INGREDIENTS
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½ cup butter, softened
3½ cups confectioners’ sugar
3 tablespoons whole milk, room temperature
1¼ teaspoons vanilla extract
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Makes enough to frost 2 9″ cakes. Takes 15 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add butter and confectioners’ sugar to large mixing bowl. Blend with electric beater set on medium until mixture becomes fluffy. Add whole milk and vanilla extract. Blend using electric beater set on medium until frosting become fluffy and smooth.
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TIDBITS
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1) Most people believe that punk rock is a relatively new phenomenon*, starting in the 1970s. Modern punk rock’s features electric guitars. The first widely popular punk was the Sex Pistols.
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2) * = By the way, phenomenon** is a hard word to spell. So, is the song “Mahna Mahna” as sung by the Muppets(tm)
, which in turn was heavily based on “Mah Nà, Mah Nà,” by Piero Umiliani.
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3) Anyway, culinary musical historians tell us that punk-rock first surfaced in 1587. There were no electric guitars in 1587, because there were no electrical outlets. Nor many giga watt electrical power stations either during the reign of Elizabeth II. Nor many true guitars. In fact, the Elizabethan Age’s punkest musical instrument, the violin, was invested during her reign. Go, good Queen Bess.
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4) Philip II of Spain, a fervent Catholic, hated Liz’s Protestant England. Catholics and Protestants all over loathed each other. Indeed, Monarchs often burned followers of the wrong religion, Speaking of burning heretics, you were wise not to bring up religion at BBQs or any gathering, really.
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5) Then in early 1588, Flagrant Violins, the first true punk band, came out with “Philip II is a Fathead.” The song hit the top of the charts. An already irate Phil hit the roof. Indeed, he ordered the construction of the mighty Armada to conquer England.
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6) English sailors and cold winter winds destroyed the Armada. Spain would never again threaten England. But it had been a near thing. So, good Queen Bess forbad punk rock music until April 1, 1970. The anagram loving queen even ordered Flagrant Violins to change its name to Vanilla Frosting. English chefs thought, “Vanilla Frosting, what a good idea!” Which is why we have cakes with this frosting. Life is good.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Wine & Waffles

Posted on November 29, 2023 by pauldelancey

We all love going here.

Especially, waffle-loving oenologists.

Expert sommeliers are on hand to pair wines with your waffles’ toppings.

“You’ll never forget your first wine and waffle.”  – Gourmet Diners

Gourmet Diners, November Issue

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Robert’s River Restaurant

Posted on November 26, 2023 by pauldelancey

Come dine at Robert’s River Restaurant, the only restaurant that travels to you!

Next year, not so far away, it will be traveling down the Mississippi River.

Check ww.RobertsRiverRestaurant/MississippiRiverTour2024.com for schedule and updates.

Robert’s River Restaurant

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, Following Good Food, travel | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Thanksgiving

Posted on November 23, 2023 by pauldelancey

I wish Happy Thanksgiving to everyone.

I wish Happy Thanksgiving to those who might end up at odds with some of the family. I have been there.

I wish Happy Thanksgiving to those who cannot be with all of their family. I have been there.

I wish Happy Thanksgiving to those who are alone. I have been there. (It’s really hard to find a restaurant that’s open today. Once, I got take away pizza.)

I wish Happy Thanksgiving to those whose efforts today are not appreciated. I have been there.

To all you people, I give you a cyber hug. You can’t feel it, but it’s there.

And now, let me wish you Happy Thanksgiving with something from Norman Rockwell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

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Cranberry Sauce

Posted on November 22, 2023 by pauldelancey

Bosnian Appetizer

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CRANBERRY SAUCE

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INGREDIENTS
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1⅓ cups sugar
½ cup orange juice
¾ cup water
1 pound cranberries
Mason jars for unused sauce
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Makes 3¼ cups. Takes 1 hour 30 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add sugar, orange juice, and water to pot. Simmer at low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until sugar dissolves completely. Stir frequently. Add cranberries. Cook at medium heat for 15 minutes or until cranberries crack open and sauce is dark and thick. Stir frequently. Remove sauce from heat. (Sauce should thicken more as it cools.) Leave in refrigerator for 1 hour or until sufficiently cooled. . Goes well on poultry, pork, beef, and fish. Store excess in Mason jars.
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TIDBITS
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1) Cranberries are good for you in all sorts of ways. I forget some of them. Apparently, cranberries don’t help the memory much.
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2) The Picts and Celts in Ancient Britain were fierce warriors. They got their energy and stamina from eating cranberries. If the these ancient fighters ate too many cranberries they got tummy aches. They also found oodles and oodles of excess energy coursing through their veins. They became too hot. The Picts and Celts had to let some of their escape or they’d collapse.
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3) So the first Britons took off all their clothes to cool off. Being nude, they painted their bodies blue for modesty’s sake. Then they charged the opposing army with a ferocity that’s never again been equaled. But they didn’t wear hats or paint their heads. The skin on their heads turned red under the hot unforgiving sun. The invading Romans thought the Britons’ skulls, crania, looked as red as the cranberry that the natives ate. So, the Romans called this red berry, the cranberry.
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4) I almost forgot, a Roman chef, Quintus Cato, looked at the cranberry sauce in his Mason jar and thought, “The Mason jar is much taller than it’s wide. Is it possible to build like that as well?” He wrote of this idea to his pal, Emperor Vespasian of Rome. The energetic Emperor immediately ordered construction of the Colosseum, so named because it’s colossal in size. Now you know.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Navajo Tacos

Posted on November 21, 2023 by pauldelancey

Navajo Entree

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NAVAJO TACOS

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INGREDIENTS
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1 small onion
1 tablespoon vegetable oil.
8 Navajo fry breads (See previous recipe for 4 fry breads and double its ingredients)*
1 pound ground beef
1 15-ounce can pinto beans or red kidney beans, drained
1 15-ounce can diced tomatoes (1 more cup later)
1 4-ounce can diced green chiles
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
½ teaspoon pepper
½ teaspoon salt
1 avocado
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup shredded lettuce
1 cup sour cream
1 cup diced tomatoes
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* = Or halve the ingredients in this recipe. You’ll need to find 7.5-ounce cans. Life is hard.
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Serves 8. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Dice onion. Add vegetable oil and oil to pan. Sauté onion at medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onion softens. Stir frequently. Add ground beef. Cook at medium heat for 3 minutes or until beef is no longer pink. Stir occasionally.
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Add pinto beans, 15-ounce can diced tomatoes, green chiles, chili powder, cumin, paprika, pepper, and salt. Stir until well blended. Reduce heat to low and simmer for 15 minutes. Stir occasionally. Cover fry breads with an equal amount of this mixture. Top each covered fry breads with equals amounts of avocado, cheddar cheese, lettuce, sour cream, and 1 cup diced tomatoes.
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TIDBITS
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1) It’s not very well known, but Vincent van Gogh absolutely loved Navajo tacos. In fact, culinary art historians have recently uncovered his Navajo taco still life. Magnificent, isn’t it?
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Navajo Fry Bread

Posted on November 18, 2023 by pauldelancey

Navajo Appetizer

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NAVAJO FRY BREAD

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INGREDIENTS
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2 cups flour
3¼ teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1¼ cups milk, lukewarm
3 cups vegetable oil
¼ cup flour
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Serves 4. Takes 40 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add 2 cups flour, baking powder, and salt to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork or whish until well blended. Gradually add milk. Mix with hands after each addition. Knead for 5 minutes or until a smooth dough ball forms.
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Divide dough ball into 4 mini dough balls. Spread ¼ cup flour onto flat surface. Add mini dough balls. Flatten mini dough balls into discs ¼” thick. Let sit for 5 minutes. Make a tiny hole in the middle of the discs. (This prevents the discs from ballooning into a circle.)
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Add oil to large pan. Heat oil using medium-high heat until a bit of dough in the oil will start to dance. Gently add 1 dough disc into oil. Use spatula to press down on disc so that it is covered by oil. Fry dough disc for 0.5-to-2 minutes or until bubbles form on the top and the bottom turns golden brown. Carefully turn disc over with 1 or 2 spatulas. Fry until new bottom turns golden brown and the top bubbles.) Remove fry breads from heat and drain on paper towels. Repeat for remaining discs. Frying times might decrease with each fry bread.
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Use fry breads to make Navajo tacos or top them with honey or confectioners’ sugar to make a tasty dessert.
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TIDBITS
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1) The Navajo fry bread in the above picture is golden brown.
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2) The CL, Chef Legislature, mandates that all cooks know what Golden Brown means and how to bake and fry flour so that these dishes all come out Golden Brown.
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3) The CPD, Chef Police Department, will come for you if you don’t cook bread Golden Brown.
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4) On the other hand, if you master the art of cooking bread Golden Brown, everybody will love you. Crime in your neighborhood will fall to zero. Every financial decision will be golden. You will find gold nuggets just lying around as you take your daily walk. Anybody you fancy will desire your body, and you will be able to do the New York Times’ crossword puzzle.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Chatting With Chefs, cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

The Bountiful, Versatile Pumpkin

Posted on November 3, 2023 by pauldelancey

Halloween is over. Pumpkins have been thrown in the trash bins. My local supermarket gave away its remaining pumpkins.

I was happy to take one. The pumpkin is so much more than a jack o’lantern.

With my pumpkin I was abled to cut and scoop out:

2¾ pounds of pumkin pulp (no stringy bits)
1 cup pumpkin seeds

From my pumpkin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I recovered enough pulp and seeds to make the following five dishes and pumpkin shea butter soap.

 

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dinner Rolls

Posted on October 30, 2023 by pauldelancey

American Appetizer

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DINNER ROLLS

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INGREDIENTS
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2¼ teaspoons dry active yeast
⅓ cup lukewarm water
¼ teaspoon sugar (7 teaspoons more later)
2½ tablespoons melted butter (2 tablespoons more later)
½ cup milk, lukewarm
½ teaspoon salt
7 teaspoons sugar
2¼ cups flour (2 more tablespoons later)
1½ tablespoons flour
no-stick spray
2 tablespoons melted butter
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
8″ round casserole dish
bench scraper/chopper or long non-serrated knife
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Makes 15 rolls. Takes 2 hours 35 minutes.
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PREPARATION
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Add yeast and lukewarm water to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Sprinkle ¼ teaspoon sugar on top. Let sit for 10 minutes or until bubbles. Add 2½ tablespoons melted butter, milk, salt, and 7 teaspoons sugar to large mixing bowl. Mix with spatula until salt and sugar dissolve. Let cool to room temperature.
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Add yeast mixture to large mixing bowl. Mix with fork until well blended. Gradually add 2¼ cups flour while mixing with electric beater set on medium. Mix until a slightly sticky dough ball forms. Dust flat surface with 1½ tablespoons flour. Remove dough ball to flat surface. Knead for 5 minutes until dough is smooth and elastic. Spray large mixing bowl with no-stick spray. Add dough ball to large mixing bowl. Rotate dough until covered with spray. Cover bowl with towel. Let sit for 30 minutes or until doubled in size.
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Push down on dough. Roll dough into a log 15″ long and 1″ wide. Use bench scraper to cut log into 15 pieces. Shape 15 pieces into smooth balls. Spray casserole dish with no-stick spray. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Add smooth dough balls to casserole dish. Cover with towel and let sit for 1 hour or until fluffy. Bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes or until tops of rolls turn golden brown. Brush tops of rolls with 2 tablespoons melted butter.
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TIDBITS
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1) Doing dishes makes the kitchen clean, which makes you happy.
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2) But, pondering the infinite brings enlightenment.
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3) What will you chose?
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4) May I suggest alternating 5-minute bursts of each activity?
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5) While achieving enlightenment, I had the following stream of consciousness.
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6) Can you have a stream of consciousness while asleep or even unconscious?
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7) Unconscious is a hard word to spell.
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8) You can see that I spelled it right.
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9) You’ll have to take my word for it that I spelled it right on the very first try. Go me.
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10) Somehow this segues into how we developed before birth.
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11) Prehistoric peoples believed we started out as very tiny version of the baby that would eventually pop out of mama.
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12) How do we know this? Go to the Courgette Library in Bordeaux, France. Find the research department and ask to see the ground breaking Greatest Texts of Prehistory by Farine du Ble.
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13) Nowadays, culinary biologists say that we began as a single, undifferentiated cell.
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14) This cell doubled into two slightly unlike* cells.
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15) * = I used my thesaurus to come up with a different word for different.
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16) This doubling process kept going until we had nearly 15 slightly dissimilar cells like in the above photo.
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17) Eventually this doubling process stops. We don’t increase twofold the day before birth.
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18) But what if this repetitive course continues after birth?
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19) Eventually, we’d get as big as Uranus.
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20) We’d also possess a staggering number of specialized cells.
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21) We’d most likely quite sport an impressive number of super-hero skills.
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22) Which we’d need if we were truly as enormous as Uranus.
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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Chatting With Chefs, cuisine, observations | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Bring Back the Milkman

Posted on October 23, 2023 by pauldelancey

Often enough, I only need a half gallon of milk, four sticks of butter, or a pound of cheese. Sure I could drive to the store, but it hardly seems worthwhile for just a half gallon of milk when the whole process of driving to the supermarket, parking, finding the milk, checking out, leaving the parking lot, and driving home.

If only there were a simple, convenient way to buy a small amount of dairy. Oh wait, there was. We called him the milkman. We place an order on our door step and he’d bring it from the stores of his truck.

Easy peasy.

And quite often the milkman brought other products as well. Here’s what I remember about the milkmen from the various towns of my youth.

Arcadia, California: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter.

Earlwood, Australia: The milk truck brought milk and I believe butter and eggs.

Voorburg, Netherlands: The milk truck carried: milk, eggs, cheese, cans of soups, soda, and beer! I believe the milkman also delivered juice and jams.

I want a milkman who will bring all the items his counterpart in the Netherlands did. I want it! I want it!

Going to the store takes too long, cars are driven by nuts, and the stores are far too peoply.

I am willing to pay more for this service than from stores. I worked and saved all my life so I can now afford this service to my door.

Please make this happen. Thank you.

And please also let me know what your milkman delivered? Thanks again.

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– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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