Author Archives: pauldelancey

Great Arctic Eats – Whitehorse, Yukon Territory, Canada

For Whitehorse, TripAdvisor rates Klondike Ribs & Salmon BBQ as the best restaurant. Antoinette’s has the best Indian & Caribbean food. Boccelli’s Pizzeria serves the best pizza, and the wonderfully??????????????????????????????????????? named Burnt Toast offers the best breakfast.

Here is the link: http://www.tripadvisor.com/RestaurantSearch?ge
o=155047&q=Whitehorse%2C+Yukon%2C
+Canada&cat=&pid=

For Dawson City, TripAdvisor has Cheechchako’s Bake Shop as being the best place to eat. The Drunken Goat Taverna, what a great name, has the best Greek food. The link is: http://www.tripadvisor.com/RestaurantSearch?geo=154928&q=Dawson%2C+Yukon%2C+Canada&cat=&pid=

Yukon specialties include moosemeat, Dall sheep, mountain goat, caribou, porcupine, trout, Arctic grayling, salmon, Alaska king crab, and halibuts. Hamburgers can be made with: Alaska salmon, buffalo, caribou, goat, musk ox, porcupine, and sheep.

• Yukon’s gold mining past is reflected in some specialties, such as buffalo burgers, musk ox chops and Alaskan salmon.

– Chef Paul

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Chicken Tikka

Indian entree

CHICKEN TIKKA

INGREDIENTSChickenTikka-

4 chicken breasts
2 cups whole-milk yogurt
2 tablespoons lime juice
¼ cup chicken tikka masala
2 limes
1 teaspoon cilantro

SPECIAL ITEMS

skewers
grill

Serves 4. Takes 10 minutes preparation, overnight to marinate, and 30 minutes to cook.

PREPARATION

Slice chicken into 2″ squares. Put yogurt, lime juice, and chicken tikka masala in mixing bowl. Mix with fork. Add chicken squares to bowl. Thoroughly coat chicken squares with yogurt. Cover bowl and marinate in refrigerator overnight.

Preheat grill to 400 degrees. Cut limes into wedges.

Put coated chicken squares on skewers. Grill for 20 minutes or until chicken is tender and browned on all sides. Turn frequently. Remove chicken squares from skewers and place on plate. Sprinkle chicken squares with cilantro and garnish with lime wedges.

TIDBITS

1) Most jokes that are both popular and long lasting employ simple and universal themes. Such is the case with the ever popular “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side,” which involves the humble chicken and the surprise ending.

2) Well, it was a surprise ending when printed in The Knickerbocker in 1847.

3) The Chicken Crossing the Road joke became a staple of vaudeville shows during the late nineteenth century.

4) Potter’s American Monthly printed the first known, at least to me, variation of this joke. Here it is. “Why should not a chicken cross the road?” “It would be a fowl proceeding.” Yes, it took apparently a half century before someone altered the joke. But the comedic floodgates had been opened. Variations of this amusing jest appeared with greater and greater rapidity. Here are some of them:

5) Why did the punk rocker cross the road?ChickenCrossRoad-
He had a chicken stapled to his forehead.

6) Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.

7) Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because chickens weren’t around yet.

8) Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove it’s no chicken.

9) Why did the chicken simultaneously cross and not cross the road?
It was Schrodinger’s chicken.

10) Why did the Roman chicken cross the road?
It was afraid someone would Caesar!

11) Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
Because it was a dirty double-crosser.

12) Why did George’s W. Bush think about the chicken crossing the road?
We don’t care why the chicken crossed the road. We just need to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us.

13) Why Barack Obama’s chicken cross the road?
It wanted CHANGE!

14) Why did Captain Kirk’s chicken cross the road?
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

15) Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get away from Colonel Sanders.

16) Why did the chicken only cross the road halfway?
To lay it on the line.

17) Why did Ancient Egyptians mummify chickens when they died?
To help them get to the other side.

18) Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the shell station.

19) Why did the chicken cross the road?
It was a part of a chicken conga line.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Book Signing For My Cookbook and My Novels

I’m doing a book signing and bringing all my books:

We’re French and You’re Not

The Fur West

Eat Me, 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World

AllMyBooks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please come to the event on

Saturday, September 21, 2013

10 am – 1 pm
Paradise Hills Library
5922 Rancho Hills Drive
San Diego, CA 92139

Additional Parking will be available at St. Timothy’s
(Church on opposite corner)

LibraryEvent-

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

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Good Arctic Eats – Nuuk, Greenland

According to TripAdvisor, the best restaurant in Nuuk, Greenland is Sarfalik. The best place to eat Thai boasts the exciting name, Charoen Porn. The finest place to dine Danish is NuukGodthaab Bryghus, while the number one pizza palace is Cafe Prego. Check out the Nuuk cuisine scene at:  http://www.tripadvisor.com/RestaurantSearch?geo=295112&q=Nuuk%2C+Greenland&cat=&pid=

There rarely is unanimity among food critics for any locality and Nuuk is no exception. The folks who run the Hotel Nordbo prefer the restaurant Nipisa for its fresh, local produce. Indeed, they hold Nipisa to be the best restaurant in Greenland. The telephone number for Nipisa is +299 311000. (I have no idea why they have six digit phone numbers in Greenland. This autonomous country has only 56,000 people.)

Nuuk is the capital of Greenland and was founded in 1728 as Godthab, which means Town of Good Hope.”  15,000 people call Nuuk their home. It’s restaurants include the following cuisines: international, steak, chili, hamburgers, Thai, sushi, and pizza. If you’re ever in Nuuk be sure to visit Kalaaliaraq, or the “Board.” This is where fishermen sell their daily catch. Buy some seal or whale meat or even reindeer here. Add fresh onion, carrot, pearl barley, and millet to those ingredients to make tasty Suaasat, Greenlander soup. See my blog on this soup, https://pauldelancey.com/2013/02/12/suaasat-greenlander-soup/

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Pico de Gallo

Mexican Appetizer

PICO DE GALLO

INGREDIENTSPicoDeGallo-

4 Roma tomatoes
1 medium white onion
1 jalapeno pepper (1/2 or even 1/4 if you like it milder)
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro
4 teaspoons lime juice
1/2 teaspoon salt

PREPARATION

Dice tomatoes, onion, and cilantro. De-seed and dice jalapeno. (Wash hands afterward. If you touch your face before washing, it will burn.) Put tomato, onion, jalapeno, cilantro, lime juice, and salt in bowl. Mix with spoon.

TIDBITS

1) You really should listen to the song “Pico de Gallo” by Trout Fishing in America. The link to the song is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2kL5f0np7EU. Visit Trout Fishing in America’s website at: http://www.troutmusic.com/.

2) Pico de gallo goes well with tortilla chips.

3) Guatemala has suffered through many years of civil wars. Peasants would often take to the hills to avoid the guerrillas and the government forces. The villagers’ main source of sustenance was the humble tortilla. However, old tortillas dry out and become hard to eat. So the peasants would fry their tortillas in oil to make tortilla chips which lasted longer.

4) Humanity began its ascent in the Americas with the development of the first tortillas in 10,000 B.C.. Beer provided the upward impetus across the Atlantic Ocean. Civilizations such as the Aztecs and the Mayans flourished because of the tortillas and indeed they developed advanced art, architecture, math, astronomy, and pico de gallo. America has the world’s largest economy because of its great tortilla chip and beer industries.

5) The Spanish royalty dispatched Christopher Columbus in 1492 to find these fabled tortilla lands. In 1519 Hernando Cortez conquered the Aztecs on Central Mexico securing a Spanish tortilla monopoly. Mexican tortillas would provide the sustenance for the many and mighty armies that held together the vast and numerous of the Spanish empire..

6) In 1993 China began producing flour tortillas. China will soon have the world’s largest economy.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Great Arctic Eats – Svalbard, Norway

Chef Paul,

What are the best restaurants in Svalbard, Norway????????????

– Olaf O. Perro

Mr. Perro,

The culinary scene in Svalbard is vibrant despite being in the land of four-month-long nights and having only 2,642 people. Indeed, the town of Longyearbyen has thirteen fine restaurants. According to TripAdvisor, the highest rated restaurant is Huset. It’s also the northernmost gourmet restaurant. The best Thai food is found at Mary-Ann’s Riggen, while Classic Pizza serves the best pizza. Here is the link: http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurants-g503713-Svalbard.html

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Arctic eats, cuisine, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Arrowroot Custard

St. Vincentian Dessert

ARROWROOT CUSTARD

INGREDIENTSArrowrootCust-

3 tablespoons arrowroot
1 tablespoon milk (3 1/2 cups more later)
3 1/2 cups milk
2/3 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
4 egg yolks

PREPARATION

Add arrowroot and 1 tablespoon milk to small mixing bowl. Mix with fork until paste forms. Add 3 1/2 cups milk to pot. Cook milk on high heat until milk just starts bubbling. Stir CONSTANTLY. Add arrowroot paste from mixing bowl to pot and stir. Remove pot from burner. Turn heat down to low.

(Milk burns quickly. Anybody who comes by and sees you intent on boiling milk will say, “Careful, milk burns in a hurry! They cannot help it. It’s inevitable as falling asleep in the back row at a lecture for theoretical economics.)

Add sugar to pot. Mix with spoon until sugar dissolves. Return pot to burner. Simmer on low heat for 3 minutes. Remove pot from burner. Add in vanilla extract and egg yolks. Mix with whisk or fork until egg yolk blend in completely. Allow to cool. (The heat in the mix will cook the yolks enough during this time.)

Drink as much as you dare before sharing with guests. It’s really tasty.

TIDBITS

1) An anagram for “arrowroot custard” is “Coward roars, ‘Trout!’”

2) Arrowroot is a starch-rich underground creeping rhizome.

3) There was a 1964 movie called The Creeping Terror. Leonard Maltin, the film critic, gave it a “bomb” rating. His Classic Movie Guide said, “Awful horror movie, poor on every conceivable (and inconceivable) level.” I saw it. The monster looks a lot like a giant Denver omelette.

4) If that sort of horror movie can get made, why not The Creeping Rhizome? Just saying. You could have The Underground Creeping Rhizome but that would be way too scary.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Banane Celeste From Martinique

Martiniquai Dessert

BANANE CELESTE

INGREDIENTSBananeCeleste-

1 pound cream cheese (1/2 pound at a time)
3 tablespoons butter
6 ripe bananas
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (1/4 teaspoon more later)
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon

serves 6

SPECIAL UTENSIL

baking dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Let cream cheese and butter soften. Peel bananas and cut them in half along their lengths.

Add cream cheese, brown sugar, and 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon. Use fork or blender on lowest setting until mixture is light and fluffy.

Light and fluffy sounds so peaceful doesn’t it? Next time you’re at a peace conference say, “Light and fluffy” to the warring sides and see if the mood of the room doesn’t improve dramatically.

Meanwhile back at the stove, use medium heat to melt the butter in a pan. Add banana halves to pan. Sauté bananas on medium heat until they turn light brown on both sides. Turn bananas carefully over with spatula to ensure even browning.

Evenly arrange 6 banana halves in bottom of baking dish. Spoon 1/2 pound cream cheese evenly over bananas. Place 6 more banana halves on top of the the cream cheese. Spoon another 1/2 pound of cream cheese atop the second banana layer.

Smooth heavy cream over the second layer of cream cheese. Sprinkle 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon over heavy cream.

Put baking dish in oven and bake in over for 15-to-20 minutes at 350 degrees or until cream-cheese sauce is bubbly and golden brown.

TIDBITS
1) Josephine Bonaparte, wife of the Emperor Napoleon, was born in Martinique in 1763 with the name of Marie Josèphe Rose Tascher de La Pagerie. This name was way too long so most people just called her “Ma.” Josephine possessed a lively sense of humor.

2) People loved her jokes. She had them in stitches. Agents from Vau de Ville frequently came to her mansion to sign her up for large engagements but she always demurred, saying she was but a simple banana plantation monopolist.

3) Still the island’s elite kept coming to her comedy soirées to hear her jokes. They never wanted to leave even when she got tired and wanted to retire. They’d say, “Yo, Ma, Ma, tell us another joke.”

4) Her funnies became known as “Ma Ma jests,” then “Mama jests,” and finally by 1779 as “Yo, Mama jokes.”

5) In 1779, Ma Pagerie married the owner of the Folies Bergère, Monsieur de Beauharnais, and moved to Paris.

6) Nothing much of note happened in the lives of the de Beauharnaises until monsieur ended their marriage by getting guillotined in 1794. Saved the unpleasantness of a bitter divorce, Ma commenced a series of mirthful affairs with the handsome leaders of the French Revolution.

7) In 1796 she attracted the eye of a young artillery officer named Napoleon Bonaparte. “She made me laugh,” said Napoleon.

8) Napoleon had suffered from chronic depression and often stayed in bed neglecting to fight the smallest battle until Ma bucked him up with one of the world’s first chicken-crossing the road jokes. “Pourquoi le poulet a traversé la rue? Pour obtenir à l’autre côté.”

9) Ma’s mirth gave Napoleon the energy to follow his dream. In 1799, he and two other hombres overthrew the constitutional government. In 1804, he reached the top of the government ladder when he made himself emperor.

10) Life was good for France with Napoleon conquering one country after another. People no longer had to get visas to visit the Italian Riviera. Napoleon had made it part of France. What a guy!

11) But things went sour in 1810. Napoleon wanted an heir for his Empire. Ma, although always able to conceive a knee-slapping joke without a moment’s notice, could not do the same with a child. So Napoleon divorced her and married Marie Louise of Austria.

12) Marie Louise lived in a permanent humor-free zone. She never made Napoleon laugh, not once. Napoleon grew moody, his judgment became impaired. In 1812, he invaded Russia, a disaster. By 1814, his enemies were at the French border. They offered Napoleon a peace treaty, but without Ma’s jokes to relieve the tension caused by his tactless outbursts, negotiations went downhill.

13) Napoleon was forever defeated in 1815 and exiled to St. Helena. It would decades before vaudeville revived.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: cuisine, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Banana Crunchies From New Caledonia

New Caledonian Dessert

BANANA CRUNCHIES

INGREDIENTSBananaCrunch-

12 tablespoons or 1 1/2 sticks butter
1/2 cup unsalted, raw peanuts
2 ripe bananas
1 3/4 cups flour
1 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 egg
1 3/4 cups rolled oats
no-stick spray

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Let butter soften. Grind peanuts in food processor. Peel bananas. Mash bananas.

Use fork or whisk to mix flour, sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt in large bowl. Add butter and eggs. Mix with fork. Add banana, rolled oats, and peanuts. Mix with fork until well blended

Drop 1 tablespoon of mixture from bowl onto sprayed cookie sheet. Use hands to roll mixture into a log. Repeat until mixture is used up. Makes about 4 dozen crunchy logs.

Bake crunchies in oven at 450 degrees for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool on wire rack for 15 minutes.

TIDBITS

1)Nutmeg has a hallucinogenic effect if taken in large amounts.

2) This is why this recipe uses only 1/4 teaspoon. I want you to be able to drive safely.

3) But honestly officer, I only took a pinch of nutmeg.

4) Nutmeg loses its flavor and potency when ground. So if you must drive and nutmeg, please consume the ground variety. Think of your reputation. Think of your family.

5. Nutmeg goes well with desserts, fruit, spinach, cheese, pork, pumpkin, eggs, and cabbage. Sure, you’re just trying to get high. Pumpkin pie for dessert, a likely story.

6. Alabama cares about safe driving as well. You may not drive blindfolded there.
cover

My cookbook, Eat Me: 169 Fun Recipes From All Over the World, is available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com

As an e-book on Nook

or on my website-where you can get a signed copy at: www.lordsoffun.com

Categories: cuisine, humor | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spanish Rice

Mexican Entree

SPANISH RICE

INGREDIENTSSpanishRice-

1 clove garlic
1 onion
1 bell pepper
1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cups brown rice
4 cups chicken broth
1 teaspoon chili pepper
1 teaspoon cilantro
1 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon ground Mexican oregano
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon turmeric

PREPARATION

Mince garlic and onion. Dice bell pepper. Add olive oil, rice, garlic, onion, and bell pepper to pot. Sauté on medium-high heat for 5 minutes or until onions soften. Stir frequently.

Stir chicken broth, chili pepper, cilantro, cumin, ground oregano, pepper, salt, and turmeric.. Bring to boil. Stir frequently. Reduce heat to low. Cover pot. Simmer on low heat for 25-to-30 minutes or until rice is tender.

Remove from heat. Fluff rice with fork.

TIDBITS

1) Turmeric is a natural antivenin for King Cobra snake bites.

2) People apply turmeric paste at weddings to the face and arms of the bride and groom.

3) Young lovers would really, really, really have to be madly in love if having their first night of matrimonial passion means getting bitten by a King Cobra. Even if they’re wearing an antivenin.

4) And how many times has this happened to you? You’re sweltering outside your car because its radiated leaked. So your car stopped, your skin is getting sunburned, and you’re miserable. Then an angel from heaven gets out of her car, plugs up the leaking radiator with a tablespoon of turmeric and soothes your sunburn with more turmeric. “Marry me,” you say. “I will,” says she.

5) Oh, and turmeric combats flatulence, a definite turn off on wedding nights.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

Categories: cuisine, humor, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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