Hi there. I’m blogging again. I got worn down feeling the need to blog every day. I was also depressed from the madness of the world. But I’m and I’m ready to blog again, I’ve made some progress on my Cats Latch Hook Project. Full speed ahead
I’m stepping out! I’m going to walk around the block. This is the first time since I went to the hospital to have my gall bladder removed, that I am going outside, wearing street clothes, and moving along under my own power.
Life can be hard. Life can be stressful. The world can be way too peoply. We want to chuck our cares away and run free in wide open spaces. But we can’t. But others can, like this momma elephant and her baby elephant in Africa. Go, elephants, go. Run for joy for all of back here. Wee hee!
Chosing the right, fresh ingredients and cooking to trusted recipes makes for a truly tasty burrito. These burritos so uplift your soul that you can face with a song in your heart at any horror that life might throw at you.
Then there are days when you open your fridge and discover 1,722,363 containers of leftovers. Voices from everyone of these leftovers squeak so piteously, “Please, please, I’m about to go bad. When I was a tiny seed, I fully expected to grow up to be an ingredient that would make a diner say, ‘Life is good. Life is so good.’ Now I’m just one day away from the trash bin. There’s lutefisk in that bin. Oh, the shame, the shame.”
Naturally, the mere fact that 1,722,363 containers squeaked at you, will startle you. However, the ernestness of their sorrow must melt your heart, even if you’re a brutal dictator.
So what do you do? Enter the mighty flour burrito. Put any number of forgotten fridge ingredients, perhaps ten, on the tortilla, fold in the sides, roll it up, and Bob’s your uncle, you made a large leftovers burrito. You may now give way to waves of virtue splashing over your soul as you’ve cleaned out your fridge to find Amelia Earhardt shivering. You’ve also put off a trip to the supermarket, thus slashing your food bill. And most of the fresh food that you delayed purchasing can now go to someone else who lives near you or even in far off Madagascar.
By constructing such a meal for World Leftovers Burrito Day, you will be feeding the world. You magnificent sunbeam, you.
Jigsaw puzzles can be lots of fun. Finishing them elicits effusive praise from guests. Completing the puzzle makes your spouse respect you for the first time in months. “You completed a project. Well done!”
However, puzzle solving can take hours, dozens of hours, and even dozens of weeks, if you even finish. Yep, you’ll probably give up. Your latest failure will drive her to desert you. Her farewell note of “You clod, I’ve run off with the milkman” will be all the more hurtful for the fact that your neighborhood hasn’t had a milkman in 40 years.
And if you stick to your puzzle quest, no matter the cost, chances are there will be a missing piece. Where did the piece go? Is it hiding somewhere on the floor, did it migrate to your sock drawer, or did your puzzle box simply have a piece missing? No matter, it’s missing. You won’t regain your mate’s love and adoration.
He: You didn’t finish the puzzle.
You: I did. All but one piece.
He: Like I haven’t heard that one before.
And then he leaves, claiming to go to the store to buy a particle accelarator. He doesn’t come back. Your life is bereft of joy. Well mostly, you do look forward to not picking up his socks anymore.
What’s the solution? A one-piece puzzle! Everyone of us finish that. And quickly, too. No more looking at a box of 1,000 pieces and guessing if they are all there. Buy the one-piece puzzle. We can all count to one. Yes we can.
Look below to see the one-piece puzzle I just completed..
How many times has this happened to you? You’ve been scrupulously minding your own business when suddenly you acquire a country, a province, or a city. How did you end up with such an expanse of land and the people, economies, and nuclear weapons that go along with it?
Perhaps you inherited it. Did you think to ask your parents, “Will you be leaving me a country?” I suggest people do so.
Perhaps you own stock in a large corporation, like Amazon(tm), for example. Amazon is growing by leaps and bounds all the time, so it’s plausible to assume that they might buy a small country or parts thereof, to help lower distribution costs.
Perhaps you simply saw the deed to the country on a sidewalk and picked it up.
So, there you have it. You’ve yourself a new country. But won’t the once old country be angry at you? You betcha! Won’t they be chomping at the bit to diversify your retirement portfolio be regainging their independence? Absolutely. Can they do it? Yes, if they ally with some powerful nation, or huge hedge fund, and attack you.
That is the nightmare scenario. The only way to stop this coalition from forming against you is to fool the world into thinking your country isn’t new; that it’s really part of either an old and peaceful nation or portfolio. How do you do this?
Simple, pick a flag that looks like the one from another country, province, or city. How do you do that?
May I suggest limiting the colors of your new flag to calming green and white? There are simply scads of wonderful countries that use only green and white in their banners. Here are my favorite green-and-white flags in order of coolness and usefulness. And you know the saying, “Cool flags, cool people.”
1. North Caucasian Emirate
The North Causian Emirate had flag sported a white happy face on a green background. It was the coolest green-and-white flag ever.*
Was.
Unfortunately this Islamic stated existed for less than a year during the Russian Revolution of 1919 to 1921. Then communists forcibly absobed the North Causian Emirate into the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics with their boring-hammer-and-sickle-on-an-endless-red-background flag. Friggin’ commies.
2. Pakistan
Pakistan has a green and white flags in the world. It possesses nuclear weapons. So if you acquire Pakistan, from playing poker perhaps, you also get its thermonuclear capability. That would come in handy when confronting medical insurers who refuse to bill you correctly. Oh, and bothersome neighbors.
3. Saudi Arabia
Saudi Arabia flag also uses a green-and-white flag. The Arabic inscription says, “There is no god but Allah; Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah.” The sword at the bottom will deter people coming to your house to sell a tree-trimming service. And what kind of monster comes unannounced to your front door, anyway?
4. Norfolk Island
Norfolk Island’s flag causes excitement wherever flaps in the wind. (Pretty much just on Norfolk Island.) You just can’t get around ithe green tree in the middle of its flag. They could have put a spoon, a bug, or an advertisement in the middle, but they didn’t. Well done, Norfolk. Your neighbors will never doubt your commitment to Go Green when you run this flag up your flagpole.
5.Nigeria
The Nigerian flag is the same as Norfolk Island’s, but with no beautiful tree in the middle. The theme of “simplicity, simplictity won out in the nationwide competiton.
6. Rotterdam
The city of Rotterdam in the Netherlands has its own flag. It is the Nigerian flag rotated 90 degrees.
7. Siberia
Siberia’s green-and-white flag boldly dispensed with the boring rectangles prevalent in so many of the world’s flags. Yes, it had two triangles, which I like to think pay hommage to the Pythagorean Theorem. The green triangle represents Siberia’s vast forest. The green triangle stands for the White Russians who fought for the Tsar’s and against the Communists. I prefer to think it stands for the snow that blankets Siberia. At any rate, the green-hating Communists, Philistines everyone of them, threw this flag away in favor of their dreary red banner.
8. The regions of the regions of Saxony, Andalusia, Antioquia, and Esmeralda
The down-to-Earth inhabitants hailing from these lands went with simple white rectangle on top of a green one and left it at that. Unpretentious, you bet.
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