Posts Tagged With: sourdough

Orphaned Tidbits

Didn’t rise enough. I has sad.

My recipes have funny tidbits at the end. This was the case for my sourdough-bread recipe. I wrote up the recipe. I wrote the tidbits. Unfortunately, I didn’t come up with a recipe worked for me. But I still had the tidbits for the sourdough recipe.

And here they are, the Orphaned Tidbits:

1) Ancient Egypt got a big jump on civilization compared to its Mediterranean and Near Eastern neighbors. Why was Ancient Egypt so advanced? It was the first nation to bake sourdough bread. Sourdough bread originated in ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.

2) Rome didn’t even get founded until 753 BC. It didn’t start conquering until about 250 BC.

3) Rome’s empire did not derive from vast amounts of sourdough bread. Oh sure it had some. (See Pistoria Uvam Massam Panis by Flavius the Younger.) Rather, Rome conquered the Mediterranean and parts of Europe with its vast, superbly trained army. So, global importance arises from sourdough bread and big armed forces.

4) The Unites States operates a huge military. America also has lots and lots of sourdough bread, especially from San Francisco.

5) China also possesses an immense military, but relatively few loaves of sourdough bread. China is also powerful, but not as much as America.

6) Sourdough starters have been found in Egyptian tombs, indicating that the Egyptians baked sourdough bread. A hieroglyph in a Theban temple depicts Keith Richards baking sourdough bread for Pharaoh Amenhotep II.

7) In 1620, Yeoman Keith Richards sailed on the Mayflower to Plymouth Rock. He ,brought sourdough starters with him. Soon sourdough baking spread all through the 13 colonies. Not so much, in the mother country, Great Britain. This is why is America is the more powerful nation.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Starter Free Sourdough Bread

American Appetizer

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STARTER FREE SOURDOUGH BREAD

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INGREDIENTS
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4½ cups flour (¼ cup more later)
18 grams (.63 ounce) instant sourdough* (yeast and sourdough culture)
2¼ teaspoons salt
1¾ cups warm water (100 to 105 degrees)
1½ tablespoons flour (1 more tablespoon later)
1 tablespoon rice flour or flour
1 t­ablespoon flour
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* = Instant sourdough can be found online. It skips the step of making active starter. It changes the taste somewhat but makes the whole process easier.
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SPECIAL UTENSILS
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electric beater
tea towel, flour sack, or dish towel
banneton or bread-proofing basket.
parchment paper sheet.
6-quart enameled cast iron Dutch oven
bread lame or sharp knife
instant-read thermometer
sonic obliterator
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Makes 1 loaf. Takes 2 hours 20 minutes plus overnight plus 3 hours.
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PREPARATION
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Add 4½ cups flour, instant sourdough, salt, and warm water to large mixing bowl. Mix with beater set at low-medium until smooth-sticky dough ball forms. Shape with hands, if needed, Cover with tea towel. Let rise in warm (70-to-75 degrees) place for 2 hours. Then refrigerate loaf overnight. At any point, gently dent the loaf with your fingertip. If the dent springs back rapidly, more rising time is needed.
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Dust flat surface with 1½ tablespoons flour. Add dough to flat surface. Gently lift up the side of the dough closest to you, gently pulling it upward and stretch over the dough’s center. (Avoid tearing the dough.) Press down on this fold to seal and keep it into place. Rotate dough a quarter turn and lift, stretch, fold, and press again. Repeat quarter rotations and folding 2 more times.
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Dust cloth that comes with banneton with 1 tablespoon rice flour. (If you don’t have a banneton, put tea towel in mixing bowl and dust that.) Put dough in banneton. Cover with tea towel and let rise in a warm place (70-to-75 degrees) for 1 hour. Brush or scrape off excess flour.
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30 minutes before baking, place Dutch oven with lid in oven. Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Dust parchment paper with 1 tablespoon flour. Place dough on parchment paper, seam side down. Score the bread ball when the oven temperature reaches 500 degrees. (Scoring is a way of making shallow cuts in the top of the dough just before baking. Scoring can be a simple pattern or as complicated as you’re to do. Scoring also prevents the gas that builds up during from causing uncontrolled ruptures on the loaf top.)
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Spray the dough’s top with water just before baking. (This keeps the surface flexible for longer and let the bread rise more.)
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Put on oven mitts. Hold 2 sides of parchment paper to lower dough into Dutch oven. Put lid on Dutch oven. Immediately reduce heat to 450 degrees and bake for 20 minutes. Remove lid and bake for another 20 minutes or loaf turns a deep golden brown and becomes crispy. (Or when instant-read thermometer shows 205 degrees.) Place on wire rack and let cool completely before slicing.
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Feel free to use sonic obliterator on any guest who gives any guff at all about your sourdough bread. It’s okay to do so. See Levain v. Miche, 2007.
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TIDBITS
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1) Ancient Egypt got a big jump on civilization compared to its Mediterranean and Near Eastern neighbors. Why was Ancient Egypt so advanced? It was the first nation to bake sourdough bread. Sourdough bread originated in ancient Egypt around 1500 BC.
­
2) Rome didn’t even get founded until 753 BC. It didn’t start conquering until about 250 BC.
­
3) Rome’s empire did not derive from  vast amounts of sourdough bread. Oh sure it had some. (See Pistoria Uvam Massam Panis by Flavius the Younger.)
­
4) Rather, Rome conquered the Mediterranean and parts of Europe with its vast, superbly trained army. So, global importance arises from sourdough bread and big armed forces.
­
5) The Unites States operates a huge military. America also has lots and lots of sourdough bread, especially from San Francisco.
­­
6) China also possesses an immense military, but relatively few loaves of sourdough bread. China is also powerful, but not as much as America.
­
7) Sourdough starters have been found in Egyptian tombs, indicating that the Egyptians baked sourdough bread. A hieroglyph in a Theban temple depicts Keith Richards baking sourdough bread for Pharaoh Amenhotep II.
­
8) In 1620, Yeoman Keith Richards sailed on the Mayflower to Plymouth Rock. He ,brought sourdough starters with him. Soon sourdough baking spread all through the 13 colonies. Not so much, in the mother country, Great Britain. This is why is America is the more powerful nation.
­

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What I Did Today

Eyes on the prize

Woke up feeling a tiny bit better than the previous three days. Not starting the day with a big headache is a definite plus. Took a nice warm bath while doing New York Times’ Thursday crossword puzzles.

Didn’t do finances as nearly all of the world’s financial markets and stuff were closed. So, I took the car out for a spin. Even though I had no particular place to go, I still managed to get lost. I almost landed on Uranus. Horrors! As contrived luck would have it, an alien* took pity on me and hurried me home. Left me tell you, the current UFO models are sleek and fast.

* = The alien asked me not to give his name.

Anyway, I spent about seven hours collecting sourdough recipes, understanding them, and making my own recipe.

Also bought sourdough  things. I’ll be receiving them late tomorrow. They are:

flour-sack towels
banneton or bread proofing basket
6-quart enameled cast iron Dutch oven
bread lame (This is basically a razor blade attached to a stick. You won’t want to meet me in a dark kitchen.)

Then I made Cuban Garlic Bread Soup for dinner. I celebrated with a piece of chocolate cake.

That’s it for today. Try not to get into mischief.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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What I Did This Very Day

I drank one ounce of this bad boy.

1)  Got up.

2) Got out of bed.

3) Dragged a comb across my head.

4) Became inspired to write a really great song.

5) Realized the Beatles had beaten me to publishing the song. Missed it by that much.

6) Showered.

7) Dressed. It’s cold out there.

8)  Tried to double my savings by thinking it about really hard.

9) My mental telepathy failed me there.

10) Thought really, really hard about stopping the meteor, Bacon123ka, from hitting the Earth.

11) My mental force field obliterated the comet. Woo hoo, I saved the world!

12) But no one knows I did it. Ah well, such is life.

13) Went to eye therapy.

14) Came back.

15) Ordered something to help me with the Great Latch Hook Project.

16) I walked 500 miles.

17) And I walked 500 more just to be the guy who’d walk 1,000 to get to your front door.

18) But you weren’t home. Bummer. And I walked 500 miles and I walked 500 more just to get back to my front door.

19) My feet are sore.

16) Made beer-sourdough bread.

17) I had one-ounce of near left over after the bread recipe, so I chugged it down just to drown my sorrows.

18) Dinner is next.

Behave yourselves.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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Sun Dried Tomato Butter

American Appetizer

SUN DRIED TOMATO BUTTER

INGREDIENTS

1¼ ounces sun dried tomatoes*
2 tablespoons fresh basil
1 garlic clove
2 tablespoons fresh parsley
1 cup butter, softened

* = or 4 tablespoons ground

SPECIAL UTENSILS

spice grinder
electric beater

Makes 1⅓ cups. Takes 45 minutes.

PREPARATION

Mince sun-dried tomatoes in spice grinder. (Don’t add so much at a time that your grinder can’t handle the load). Mince basil, garlic, and parsley.

Add butter to mixing bowl. Cream butter with electric beater set at medium. Add all other ingredients. Cream with electric beater set on medium until well blended. Chill in refrigerator for 30 minutes. Place unused tomato butter in sealed container. It should keep for a week in the fridge.

TIDBITS

1) We all know the saying “Red sky at night, sailors delight.” For a night’s red sky the setting Sun’s rays are traveling through a thicker than usual concentration of dust particles. This event foretells high pressure and stable air coming in from the west.

2) I suppose this means easy sailing if your boat’s heading to the west. But what if your ship is heading east, wouldn’t a red sky indicate foul weather in the morning? Perhaps this saying needs to be made more robust?

3) Anyway, a red sky at night also means a rising moon will be red at night. Quick witted sailors soon associated red moons with smooth sailing. It was but two shakes of a lamb’s tail to think that red moons brought luck.

4) Then in 1822, during a red half moon, First Mate Tom Albacore won and won and won playing poker. At port, the next day, he wooed and wed the richest heiress in the world. From then on red half moons became a particularly lucky sign to sailors. But red half moons are rare, so sailors took the making Sun Dried Tomato Butter on sourdough toast because it looks like that phenomenon.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, history, international | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Spaghetti And Meatballs

Italian Entree

SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 pounds of ground turkey meat
2 big garlic cloves
1 cup of sourdough bread crumbs
2 jars of spaghetti sauce
12 ounces of spaghetti

COOKING THE SPAGHETTI

Follow the instructions on your bag of spaghetti. Different sizes and types of spaghetti have different cooking instructions.

PREPARING THE MEATBALLS

This dish is relatively forgiving. If it’s too spicy, add some water or tomato sauce. If it isn’t spicy enough add some more. If it’s too “liquidy”–-“liquidy” is a legitimate cooking term–-cook the sauce a little longer. If there isn’t enough sauce add more.

Begin defrosting the turkey meat overnight. This way saves electricity and is better for the environment than defrosting by microwave. Sometimes, however, you just don’t have the time. It’s a good idea to take the meat out of the microwave and remove the defrosted outer meat. If you don’t, you will end up cooking the outer part of your block of turkey meat, making it extremely difficult to make meatballs.

Mince the garlic cloves. Take a slice of sourdough bread and make crumbs out of it. I suggest a food processor as it can make smaller crumbs than you can and it won’t get bored doing it either. Sourdough is the chosen bread in this recipe as it goes well with the garlic and spaghetti sauces.

Mix the meat, cloves, and crumbs together. Make meatballs that are at least 1 inch in diameter and less than two. Meatballs that are more than 2 inches across stand a good chance of resembling a model of the Earth–-a hard crust on the outside, gray in the middle with a reddish core.

Put the meatballs in the pan. Actually, this recipe will make two pans worth, giving a huge, delicious meal or wonderful leftovers that your kids will eat the next day before you get up.

Cook on medium heat. Gradually add spaghetti sauce until the medium balls are covered. Reduce heat to low and cover. You won’t have to turn over the meatballs more than a few times as the sauce atop will keep the moisture in.

You’re ready with your sauce at this point. However, if your noodles are not, if you can’t get your kids to log off Wizard 101 or if your sweetheart is in the middle of a Wii Fit session, it is an extremely good idea to set the heat to warm at most or even shut it off. Stir occasionally and gnash your teeth. Your anger will evaporate with the compliments your hungry brood or guests will give you for this meal.

TIDBITS

1) Pasta was eaten by the Chinese seven-thousand years ago.

2) Cortez brought tomatoes back to Spain from Mexico in 1519. So his conquest of Mexico, while bad for the Aztecs, was a positive boon for the culinary world. No tomato sauces for spaghetti noodles for 5,500 years! Ugh.

3)Pasta was not brought back from China by Marco Polo. Ancient Romans ate this food as well. Dang, yet another example of how boring history can be.

4) Pasta was considered to be peasant food by Italian nobility until around the 19th century.

5) Pasta is an anagram for “pa sat.”

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: cuisine, food, history, humor, international, recipes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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