Free poster (see below) giving membership in the prestigious Lords Of Fun society to anyone who buys any of my books from my website, http://www.lordsoffun.com, (I’ll be pleased to sign the books.) Free cyber posters to anyone buying from Amazon, or Nook.
Nearly fifty of the world’s finest authors contributed to Bump Off Your Enemies.
Available on Amazon Kindle. Free days are May 5, May 12, May 18, May 19, and May 26.
Oh, this is a work of fiction.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
My Dear Venezuelans:
Are you tired of the status-quo? Of course you are! Tomorrow you have a chance for change. Join presidential candidate Paul De Lancey and yours
truly to ride the dark horse to election victory. Like our fellow candidates in every nation, we will make impossible promises that we have no intention of actually keeping. Do you love bacon, chocolate and Venezuelan hot dogs? Who doesn’t? We will fill every household with a lifetime supply. Take your family and friends to the polls tomorrow and help us declare victory. Vote twice for good measure and we’ll throw in imported relish for your hot dogs. Bring your enemies and we’ll throw in organic mustard and ketchup. The time is now to make a stand my friends. Viva la bacon and chocolate!
Candace C. Bowen
Candidate for Vice President
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
ETERNAL QUESTIONS
1) How do washers steal socks?
2) Why do washers steal socks?
3) Why do they steal only one sock from a pair?
4) Where do washers hide their stolen socks?
5) Why do media treat political debates like boxing matches?
6) Who was the better cowboy actor, Roy Rogers or William Boyd?
7) Where are my car keys?
8) No more Twinkies. Why? Why?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Chinese Soup
INGREDIENTS 
1/2 small potato
3 stalks green onion
32 ounces chicken broth
1/4 teaspoon Vegetable MagicTM spice
1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
2 tablespoons cornstarch
2 eggs
PREPARATION
Bake a potato for 40 minutes at 400 degrees or according to instructions shown on bag of potatoes. While the potato is baking, mince the green-onion stalks. Cut the baked potato into tiny squares or dice briefly. (Consider using microwavable potatoes. This nifty agricultural advancement from this great country saves you time and your guests don’t have to know. Or you can skip the potato altogether.)
Mix broth, green onion, spice, oil, potato, and cornstarch thoroughly in pot. Bring soup to boil. Add eggs. Reduce heat to medium high or until the boiling soup no longer resembles the frothing witches’ cauldron in Macbeth. Mix soup with fork until all the egg yolks are cooked and are in small bits. You might need to go on a search and destroy mission for any lurking and intact egg yolks.
This dish cries out to be served in china bowls or at least no bowls with elegant Winnie-the-PoohTM designs. Make this dish often. It tastes great, looks impressive, and is so easy to make.
TIDBITS
1) My wife and I once went to a children’s museum in Ashford, Oregon. The challenge of the day was to prevent your egg from cracking when dropped from a height of ten feet. Your job was to prevent this using a balloon, a square of cardboard, and some tape. Both our kids’ eggs survived the drop. Hooray!
2) When I was a small boy, we had a chicken farm just a few blocks away. However, nearly all municipalities today forbid the raising of chickens. You have to go to outlying areas to buy fresh eggs.
3) My younger son loves to cook eggs.
4) Many Chinese recipes for egg-drop soup omit potatoes. Potatoes in this soup is a variation by the Chinese laborers who helped to build the transcontinental railroad in the 1860s.
5) Don’t drop eggs from a height of ten feet when the soup is boiling. You’ll regret it. Greatly. For a long time.
6) Does anyone remember how Linus in that great comic strip, Peanuts, drove his grammar-school teacher Miss Othmar crazy by repeatedly forgetting to bring egg shells to class?
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
The stupefying result of Bacon & Chocolate winning NO electoral votes has caused much distress. It has been said that votes were not counted properly and that we should have recounts in many
states. It has even been said that we should take to the streets in angry protest.
I, Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for the Bacon & Chocolate party say no. Our electoral process is not perfect, but it is the best one we have. Let’s not rock this great nation with intransigence (woo hoo, spelled it correctly) and unbridled anger. Now is a time for peace. A time for healing. Let the angels of our better nature see only the best in our erstwhile opponents. Let us support our elected leaders. The people have spoken. Let us head their voices.
And if you still want to take to the streets, walk to your local bakery and order a fresh chocolate doughnut.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Millions of registered voters will not vote tomorrow; enough to put someone into the presidency. So,
I’m asking all those people who will not vote tomorrow to vote for me, Paul De Lancey, Bacon & Chocolate Party.
Oh wait…
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
(Picture from Facebook site Jezebel)
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
Wake up America
Paul De Lancey, presidential candidate for Bacon & Chocolate Party says, “The only reason I didn’t get arrested was that I got lost going there and didn’t want to ask for directions. I drowned my sorrows with two root beers at a local Mc’Ds and went home. When I got back home, I heard the police were waiting for me and got the Green Party instead.”
-From the Huffington Post:
Green Party presidential candidate Jill Stein was arrested outside of Hofstra University on Tuesday after she attempted to enter the debate grounds.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
We’ve all seen the horrible gridlock that threatens to send our great nation’s economy over the cliff. Sure, it’s becoming more and more likely the 
American voters will elect me, Paul De Lancey as our nation’s president. But what about Congress? Will Democrats and Republicans humiliated by the loss of the presidency to the darkest of dark horses work with me to restore greatness and tranquility to this mighty land? Heck, no. They’ll block him and the will of the people at every turn
unless….
Bacon & Chocolate wins control of the Senate and the House of Representatives in November. We can only do that if you run for Representative, Senator, or even the humble spot of governor. Please declare your candidacy on the Bacon & Chocolate ticket. Do it for America. Do it today.
– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef
My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.
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