Posts Tagged With: Eden

What I’m Giving Up For Lent

Didn’t keep his vows

I am giving up lutefisk and mushrooms for Lent.

I have foresworn lutefisk and mushrooms every Lenten season.

I have never failed my vow. I have never yielded to temptation.

Perhaps Sir Lancelot in the musical Camelot said it best,

“I’ve never strayed from all I believe.
“I’m blessed with an iron will.
“If I had been made the partner of Eve
“We’d be in Eden still.”

Sad to say, Lancelot fell in love with his king and best friend’s wife. They made whopee for a fair bit. Then they were discovered. Rather than admit his shame, beg foregiveness, and leave his illicit love behind, Lancelot ran off with Guenevere to his castle. The king followed the fallen knight where he recaputered his queen, Guevere.

It should have ended there,  but Lancelot and his men in armor sortied out of the castle, attacked the king’s men and recaptured Lady G. As the musical Camelot says,

“By the score fell the dead
“As the yard turned to red.
“Countless numbers felt his spear
“As he rescued Guenevere.”

King Arthur lost so much prestige from this bloody clash that his son Mordred launched a civil war against Arthur. So many valiant men died on both sides that there could be no authority to command any allegiance. England descended into a Dark Age that would last until the advent of Cadbury’s chocolate the Full English Breakfast.

So, it’s safe to say that the renowned knight of the Round Table didn’t really keep any vow, much less a Lenten one.

I, however, have. Go me.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

 

 

Categories: about me, apocalyptic | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My New Year’s Resolutions – 2025

Last year sucked in many ways. Unfortunately, it’s unreasonable to expect eight billion people, viruses, and the forces of nature to better themselves in 2025.

Sigh.

So it’s up to me to improve our world.

I hereby resolve to

1) Not eat mushrooms
2) Not eat lutefisk
3) Not wear pajamas all day long unless quite ill.

Many of you, no doubt, notice that I make these same resolutions and that I keep them, every single one of them. Thank you.

“I’ve never strayed from all I believe.
“I’m blessed with an iron will.
“Had I been made the partner of Eve,
“We’d be in Eden still.”

– Sir Lanceleot, Camelot

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: about me, Achievement Man, De Lancey's Daily Deeds, shouldn't this be standard | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My New Year’s Resolutions

Resolution #22

I, like many of you, endeavor to become a better person for the next year. How do we do this? By making new year’s resolutions.

And keeping them.

“I’ve never strayed from all I believe.
“I’m blessed with an iron will.
“Had I been made the partner of Eve
“We’d be in Eden still.”

– from the musical Camelot

Ahem.

Anyway, here are my new year’s resolutions:

1)  Give up lutefisk.

2) Give up mushrooms.

3) Never murder anyone who blocks aisles in supermarkets with their cart.

4) Not even when a customer and a checker chat for ten minutes. Like today, for instance. They’re both alive because of the previous year’s resolutions.

5) Go to exercise classes twice a week.

6) Go to arts and crafts class once a week.

7) Learn a new word every day.

8) Forget a new word every day.

9) Take a positive attitude.

10) Especially with laundry. Always do my very best to make sure all my socks pair.

11) Accept my limitations and jettison resolution #9.

12) Read as many bath books as I can.

13) Limit my television watching to programs I like.

14) Say, “Bunny!” everytime I see a rabbit.

15) Same thing for cows.

16) Halve the number of hours I spend watching curling.

17) Never bring up at parties how Sweden got screwed at the Treaty of Westphalia in 1648.

18) No matter how many times people bring up the topic.

19) Join the At Least One Egg Eaten in a Year Club.

20) Eat tacos.

21) Limit spending to the things that cost money.

22) Have tea with a rabbit.

23) Make my resolution last from now until the end of 2023.

There.

Wish me luck.

 

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: lifestyle | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Chocolate Sticky Cake

Swedish Dessert

CHOCOLATE STICKY CAKE

(kladdkaka)

INGREDIENTSChocolateSticky-

½ cup butter
2 eggs
1¼ cups sugar
½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder
½ cup flour
½ tablespoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon confectionery sugar
no-stick spray

SPECIAL UTENSIL

9″ round cake pan or baking dish

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter in small saucepan then let cool. Add eggs and sugar to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk until well blended. Add butter, cocoa powder, flour, and vanilla extract. Mix with whisk until batter is well blended.

Spray cake pan with no-stick spray. Pour batter into cake pan. Bake batter at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes or until set on top. A toothpick stuck into the cake edge’ should come out dry, but dry when stuck into the middle. Sprinkle with confectionary sugar. Smile.

And oh, this really is sticky. Not a finger food at all, unless, of course, you like sticky, chocolaty fingers. Then, by all means, go for it.

TIDBITS

1) One of my grandmothers came from Sweden. I called her, “Gramma Anna.” “Gramma Anna” is an anagram for “Anagram, man!”

2) The unabridged list of anagrams for “cake” in the known universe is: “cake.”

3) However, I’m happy to point out that there are hundreds and hundreds of anagrams for “chocolate cake.” The best anagrams for these happy words are: “Cheat cake? Loco!” “Elect Coach Oak,” “Coach look! Taco.” “Locate eco hack,” “A taco? Ole. Check,” and “Eek, Coach! A clot!”

4) Eden can be found in Sweden. Take a look. Adam and Eve got kicked out of the Garden of Eden for eating an apple from the Tree of Knowledge. They also became mortal and would die. And they would have to eat lutefisk to survive. We are still living with their error in judgment.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

Categories: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Cheese Fondue and World Peace

Swiss Entree

CHEESE FONDUE

INGREDIENTS??????????

6 ounces gruyère cheese
6 ounces emmenthaler cheese
1/2 baguette or French bread
3/4 cup dry white wine
½ teaspoon lemon juice
½ tablespoon corn starch
1 ½ tablespoons kirsch or dry sherry
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg

SPECIAL UTENSILS

fondue pot
fondue forks

PREPARATION

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grate gruyère cheese and emmenthaler cheese. Cut baguette into 1″ cubes. Place baguette cubes on cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for about 3 minutes or until cubes become toasted to your liking.

Add white wine and lemon juice to large pan. Warmt wine using medium heat for 5 minutes or until wine starts to bubble. Immediately reduce heat to low. Gradually stir in the grated gruyère and emmenthaler cheeses. Cook on low-medium heat for 5 minutes or until melted cheese begins to bubble. Stir frequently.

Blend cornstarch with kirsch in mixing bowl. Add cornstarch/kirsch mix, pepper, and nutmeg to pan. Cook on low-medium heat for about 3 minutes or until cheese fondue sauce becomes thick and creamy. Stir frequently

Transfer fondue in pan to fondue pot. Adjust flame under fondue pot so that the cheese fondue barely bubbles. Use fondue forks to dip toasted baguettes cubes in fondue sauce. Marry anyone who consistently buys you the ingredients.

TIDBITS

1) Dry sherry sounds wrong, kinda like dehydrated water.

2) To get water from dehydrated water, just add water.

3) A lot of shower water get wasted just waiting for it heat up.

4) Agriculture always needs more water.

5) But people like their hot showers.; won’t give them up.

6) The solution is to have the water that would normally go down the drain before the person gets in the shower be sent to the corn, wheat, rice, and lettuce fields of the world.

7) Of course, it would be impractical to build pipes from people’s showers to all the farms.

8) Instead, we must move everyone’s showers to the farms.

9) Commuting hours to our showers will be a hardship at first.

10) But things will get better when we move our homes, equipped with showers, to the farms.

11) But not entirely.

12) We will now face horrendous commutes to our jobs.

13) But that will get better when our factories move out to the farms as well.

14) Everything will be right next to us, our homes, our food, our employment, and our showers.

15) We won’t have to spend any more money on automobiles for commuting nor will we need trucks for shipping foods and merchandise.

16) We will have the money we spent or cars and trucks to buy things we really want.

17) The economy will boom.

18) With no gas being used on combustion engines, pollution and global warming will decline dramatically. The Earth will become a new Eden.

19) With little oil needed to make gasoline, there will be no need for nations to fight each other for that energy product. Putting all of humanity in these small farm/city/shower islands will free up previously used lands for all future and larger populations. An enduring peace will break out over the world.

20) No commuting and more income will mean that the two biggest stresses on the modern family disappear. Families will become bundles of happiness.

21) Teenagers will even clean their rooms.

– Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef

My cookbook, Following Good Food Around the World, with its 180 wonderful recipes, my newest novel, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms, a hilarious apocalyptic thriller, and all my other books, are available on amazon.com.

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